Good morning y'all. I am just going to tell you straight up that i am sad. I have a sadness that i cant seem to shake. I may need to go to the Dr for depression because i know its not something to mess with. For many reasons though i struggled with typing that and saying it out loud. I have had so much sadness around me this year . Have you had a year that you had more deaths that you can remember form any previous year? 2015 has been that year for me. It all started as yall remember when i lost my stepdad in January. My dear friend lost her mom in February and then lost her husband 2 weeks ago. We've had yet another big blow. Last Thursday we got the news that a friend of ours from church died suddenly from heart complications. He was only 40. We had just had lunch with him and his mom who also goes to our church 5 weeks ago. "J" loved music and concerts. We sat for hours talking about concerts and we had such a great time hanging out. He had heart problems and had recently started having them again after it being under control for a few years.
"J" was also going through a nasty bitter divorce and yall nothing cant be without drama with her. Ironically, the divorce would have been final this week. Now she gets everything and she moved into his house , changed the locks and stole his car. His mom is devastated and they ( mom and son) were super close. She went to several rock concerts with "J" and they saw each other almost everyday. My heart just aches for her. She has another son who is a few years older than J and he came to church on Sunday with her. Wow, he looks just like "J".
So one of the many reasons i love my church is that its not too big. We mostly know everyone and we are a very tight church community. It was obvious that we all were so stunned and sad about the news when we came to church on Sunday. Our pastor was out of state for a seminar and we had a guest speaker. Our pastors wife was to introduce him to us and say a few words. As she started to pray, she broke down and started to cry and talk about "J" and his family. We all just started crying then but it was good. We needed to address it and stand together and grieve. I was so proud of her for saying what was on her heart and not go along with what was already scheduled in her speech. Our pastor is from Louisiana and so was J. They got together on Sunday's to watch the Saints play.
Tomorrow is his funeral. One thing i am happy about is that the attire is to wear concert tshirts and no suits allowed. There will be some good rock music played because his mom told us on Sunday she's picking out the songs.
I have this trait that i dont like about myself and thats my internalizing others pain. When someone i know has had a loss, i hurt for them and i'm so sad. It affects my mood. I can go along with my day but i have this heaviness on my heart. 2 funerals back to back though is just too much. I feel like death surrounds me. I never thought of myself as a doom and gloom person. I put on a smile and act like all is great. I dont go up to my friends and start talking about sadness. I keep it all in. Until today and i figured i might as well write out my feelings. Its my blog and its supposed to be therapeutic to write it down. I do have my big Holliween party this weekend to look forward to and i am excited to see my friends smiling and laughing. I need that!
There is a cover that has been playing on the radio more recently and its by
Shinedown. They are one of my favorite "new" bands right now. I've posted a few of their songs here already. Well they did a cover of Lynyrd Skynrd's song
Simple Man. Yall i love it so much. I really really like the way its sung. I should have been more patient and used it for my next Battle of the Bands. Heck, who's to say i wont . I just really want yall to hear it if you havent already. Music gets me through. Hard rock really helps more when i'm sad. This isnt exactly hard but its just right.
I'll be back tomorrow for my results of the battle between Celtic Thunder and The Killdares. Please vote today if you havent already done that either.
I'm going to be OK. I have lots of joyful things to be thankful for and to look forward to. I just have had more sadness than happiness lately.