a melt down tonight. That's right, me, the mom. I haven't cried in frustration with my kids for a while, I broke down tonight right in front of them. Usually I'm writing about how cute and wonderful they are but tonight...not so much. I feel it's important to remember the hard times along with the good, so please don't judge, let me explain...
Charlie is in a wonderful preschool, actually two wonderful preschools, one of his teachers has brought to my attention how she is trying to use positive reinforcement with him and really try to acknowledge all the things he is doing well in and not focus on all the things he struggles with like not listening, shouting, yelling, dancing around, occasionally hitting (sounds wonderful huh) she only puts him in time out when he's doing physical things like this with his body. Well he's informed me that he's been in time out every day this week. Lovely.
Every day I have a little pep talk before school but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. This school is very structured and is a classroom filled with girls and two other boys, the girls he carpools with don't play with him (they are led by a ring leader and she doesn't want to play with him for some reason and of course he always tries to play with her but she won't "let" him) and he doesn't get along with one of the boys.
He's always been hard in this area, I teach primary so I see how he behaves in his class and it's a hard thing to watch for me! To know that your son is that one who is the "hard" one in class is really difficult for me. Maybe because as a kid I never understood why the "hard" one in my class wouldn't just listen to the teacher, or maybe because as a parent you want your child to respect their teachers and be a good student. I'm really struggling with what to do to help him in this area.
So the deal today was that every time he listened to his teacher the first time he could tell me and would be able to color one of his dogs on his behavior chart (we are working on listening the first time right now on his chart.) When he got home I asked him
"How was school, did you do anything nice for anybody today?" (another thing I ask him to do every day before school)
"No, but I wasn't mean to anyone."
"Well that's good, did you go to time out"
Very quietly says "Yes"
"Did you listen to your teacher the first time today"
"Well I listened the first time she told me this was my last warning before she called my mom."
What do you say to this? It's hard not to get angry, but I am really trying to not focus on his bad behavior and try to focus on the positive things he does. His teacher also tells me that he is improving and does really well with reading and writing and coloring, she really is great at focusing on the things he does well. So I talked to him about it but just couldn't believe that this was my son. I just sat there and racked my brain as to how I was suppose to handle this, I did not come up with a solution. I flat out don't know what to do.
I went upstairs to wake Kenya up from her nap (she's been waking up early thanks to daylight savings and making up for it with her naps so in hopes of breaking that cycle I didn't want her to sleep for too long today), took her to the potty, she sat down and didn't pee, her pull up was full so I assumed she probably just went and she said she didn't need to go so I picked her up she got mad at me for some 2 year old reason and started hitting me and I just started crying right there holding Kenya. I sat down and Kenya gave me some needed hugs and watched me cry for a few minutes.
I went downstairs to start dinner when Charlie says "Why is there a big puddle of water on the floor?" Oh no, that's not water that's pee! I completely lost it over this 4th accident of Kenya's today. She is the hardest girl to potty train ever! She does good for a week and then could care less again. I stood there and cried while my kids stared at me, then Kenya started crying and Charlie sweetly said "I'll clean it up for you mom." He does have some redeeming qualities. :) I have tried to be consistent for 2 months with potty training now and nothing is working. I keep saying I'm going to give up but then convince myself that any day now she is going to get it but she isn't getting it. I don't know what to do, put her back in diapers for a while or stick with it? She knows how to do it she just won't do it by herself.
So if you have any advice in any of these areas I could use it.
So there it is, the mom had a melt down today. I'm not complaining, this probably doesn't really even count as an excuse for a melt down I could have much worse things happen to me, this I know, but I am just frustrated and struggling with knowing what to do to help my kids with these problems and as a mom that is a horrible feeling, I'm suppose to know what to do aren't I? I feel like everything I try doesn't work.
It's hard being a mom sometimes.
Charlie got a fish from his Aunt Maurena, he's pretty excited about it. He named it Buster.
The boys at Discovery Gateway
The girls
The crazy Kenya giving the horse a kiss.
Charlie with his new bear Arthur.
