Traveling

We just got back from Bear Lake and now I am off to Kansas City! More later.

My Daughter

How is it possible? How? I have only seen her on a monitor for about fifteen minutes. I have not felt her, I have not kissed her. I have not hugged her. But some how I love her more than myself, and I love myself. Believe that. She is my Daughter, Mine. Born or unborn, and I am her dad. I am so wrapped around her finger and toes. I've heard about it but now feel it. It is amazing. When she is born I will be through, and I know it. I watched the DVD of the ultrasound five times today. How is this possible? She is mine and I am Hers.

It's a . . .

I am sorry it has taken me a little while to post our exciting news. The last 24 hours have been, well I don't really have the adequate words at the moment to tell you. But everything is good! Ten fingers and ten toes. Just perfect.

We wanted to tell my parents last night so we went over for dinner and I took a cake. Are you guessing where I'm heading with this? Once someone cut into the cake it would reveal either a blue or pink cake inside. Hey, this is the first grandchild for my family. I'm allowed to do cheesy stuff like this.

Wanna see what happened?

Just follow along. . .

The cake is. . .

PINK!! It's a GIRL!!! And her daddy knew it all along.

What's Your Guess?

It's almost time to find out if we are having a little boy or girl! Can you believe it? Because I can't. It will make it all so real. To think about boy or girl for me is one thing, but to think I am either having a son or daughter just freaks me out. People keep asking us what we think we are having. I really don't know. In the beginning I thought it was a boy, but now I go back and forth all the time. And Brad has taken to thinking it's a girl. So who knows! I could definitely not handle waiting to find out. I need to plan things in life. So what do you think. . . pink or blue?

To Brighten a Cubicle

My cubicle is a sorrowful kind of place sometimes. The decor leaves much to be desired. It's all gray, with a smattering of the usual work appliances. I sometimes think, "Gee, I should really spice this place up. I do spent most my waking hours here." It never happens. I just go through my work and try not to notice the amount of gray.

But not today. Today this is what awaited me when I returned from lunch:

I just love that guy.

.

Brad's Baby Pains

For those of you who know me, who have spent even one night out with Natalie and I, know that Brad Hoke has what one would call a rather large or loud mouth. You know that I say all kinds of things at times when things should probably not be said. I might make you laugh or, like Natalie, cringe from time to time, but the main point is there is never a quiet moment when I'm around.

So if you read Natalie's blog from yesterday saying that she was pregnant and that she has had a hard time not saying anything, just think of poor ol' Brad for a moment. I thought my head was going to blow. When we first found out on June 7th at 7:15 am( yes i know the exact moment ) we made a pact to not talk about it to anyone for a while. I would like to let you out there know that you did not make this easy on me. The next day my good friend Brian walks up to my wife and asked her what's new. AHHHHHH. It was almost over right then, the whole thing blown. The day after that my Dad tells me it is time to have a kid, A week later someone asked Natalie if she was pregnant.. I took my Dad to lunch and we talked about how Natalie and I were not going to try for a while. My wonderful Father in law on fathers day gave me the one over and asked when he could have a Grand Baby. He did not let up all afternoon. He has never said anything of the sort in the five years Natalie and I have been married, but now it is a full blitz. My poor head, how it hurt. I wanted the words to flow and be loud and excited. Funny enough we told them later that day so the pressure did ease a bit. After that we told more and more about our great news my head is almost back to normal size. Two to three months of living heaven and hell at the same time.

But as loud as I am and as much as I can say at times, I am left speechless of the beauty and the grace my Natalie has carried herself and this child for 18 weeks. She was put on this earth for two reasons, to take care of me and to be a mother. She is going to be a wonderful mother, one who has wanted a kid for years and deserves the happiness and love that befits her station as a women of god.

For that I am speechless. But for this I am not. I AM GOING TO BE A DAD. DO YOU HEAR THAT WORLD. ME, BRAD HOKE A DAD. AND WITH MY NATALIE.

+

It's time. It's time to come clean. It's time to let out a little something, a little something that is growing bigger and bigger by the day. It's time to tell you really why I haven't been the best of bloggers for the past few months. See, I was trying to keep this little thing a secret. I was trying to keep this little condition of mine under wraps, and that made blogging a little hard.

Everything I wanted to post about seemed like a risky subject, like I might let the cat out of the bag. I so desperately wanted to tell you all how wonderfully amazing and life changing the burritos and guacamole are at Los Hermanos. I wanted to tell you all about how I am so desperately tired and scatterbrained lately that I have done and said some of the most ridiculous things! Really, some are pretty bad. I wanted to tell you about the strangest dreams I've been having. I wanted to tell you about how the other night I HAD to have a cheeseburger at 10:30pm. Brad was on his way home from work and found his wife, sometime meat-avoider, on the couch in her pajamas, surrounded by the remnants of a most perfect and sublime All American Burger with Cheese and with a deliriously satisfied grin plastered on her face. I wanted to tell you how my clothes don't fit quite right and I am so uncomfortable. I wanted to tell you!

But you see, I was afraid to tell you any of this. I thought you'd be on to me in a second. But it's time to tell you what most of you have probably already guessed (Um, I'm not usually quite that enthusiastic about jam.). I am pregnant. The test had a perfect little + sign that early June morning. Never has a plus sign been so beautiful, and so surprising.

So there you have it. You all probably already knew anyway, as it's been trickling out for the last little while. I am 18 weeks and due February 5th, soon to find out if little baby in there is a boy or girl.

And we couldn't be happier.