Monday, January 31, 2005

Lord, let our hearts be still



Humble King

Oh, kneel me down again,
Here at your feet,
Show me how much you love, humility,
Oh spirit be the star, that leads me to,
The humble heart of love, I see in you...

You are the God of the broken,
The friend of the weak,
You wash the feet of the weary,
Embrace the ones in need,
I want to be like you Jesus,
To have this heart in me,
You are the God of the humble,
You are the humble king.

1999 Vineyard Songs (UK/Eire)
Words and Music by Brenton Brown


This song brought a tear to my eye at church, as we sang in worship to God, to end a wonderful service. Rev. Sivin normally speaks very well, but he seemed to have elevated his sermon today to another level ;)


Draw me close

Draw me close to you,
Never let me go,
I lay it all down again,
To hear you say that I'm your friend,
You are my desire,
No one else will do,
Cause nothing else could take your place,
To feel the warmth of your embrace,
Help me find a way, bring me back to you...

You're all I want,
You're all I ever needed,
You're all I want,
Help me know you are near...

1994 (Mercy/Vineyard Publishing)
Words and Music by Kelly Carpenter



Lately, many have found themselves needing to draw close to the Father, myself included. The Faithful One answers as usual. We may change, but He never changes. Lord, let our hearts be still so we can focus on you and draw close to you.

Amen.


Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Centrestage no more



After a little over a year, I made my way back to Filmstage, where I used to work, because of a job I had taken on. It felt weird going back on this occassion for some reason. I was a little excited to see the changes I've heard so much about and yet, going back reminded me of all the reasons why I didn't choose to stay on. This used to be the place where I thought I'd begin building my career and my pursuit of earthly things I had wanted for myself before God said that wasn't what He wanted for me.



On my way up the stairs, I noticed the place had been decorated for Chinese New Year. I thought it was one of those creepy Buddhist funeral type of lantern lights *haha* It still made a good picture anyhow!

Being on this job was a good experience. I mean, I needed the money and God provided. In retrospect, being on this job also reminded me of how different a life I've chosen to live since I left over a year ago; and that I've chosen to mould my life around more sheep rather than wolves. It was a fun experience for the job itself - met new nice people, learnt a lot of things on set etc. - but I don't think I could go back to doing this full-time again.

Life just is different now, and for the better I believe. That's more important.



Sunday, January 23, 2005

Lose yourself

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? For I, the Son of Man, will come in the glory of my Father with his angels and will judge all people according to their deeds. And I assure you that some of you standing here right now will not die before you see me, the Son of Man, coming in my Kingdom." Matthew 16: 24-28

How do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Really, how? Are we really that ignorant and naive to really think that whatever we have in our lives are our own and of our own doing? That we came into this world with nothing but leave with everything? We WILL leave with NOTHING, just as we came.

It's a difficult thing to swallow. It's a difficult calling to answer to. Wait...is it really? Or is it because the word of men and the desires of the earth make it difficult to let go of whatever we've been stereotyped and programmed to know and think? Do we fear losing ourselves? Is giving up our lives today to follow the path Jesus did actually following a poorer life? Or is it poorer simply cause we view riches by human yardsticks? Do we even know what true riches are? Or feel like?

Why do things like everyone does? Do what everyone else does, and succumb to 'that's just the way life is', 'when you can't beat them, join them', 'the dog eat dog way of life', 'the bring someone else down so we can step up' way of life? Why? Because it's easier? Or is it because us humans generally need to feel accepted by others? Or it's the easier thing to do, be like others? It's easy to fall into temptation.

I am no hypocrite. I'm not there, where I want to be. But every single day, I do my best to get an inch closer to 'there'. Many ask me till this day why I gave up so much of what I used to believe in to do what I do today. Among my answers are in that passage of scripture above.

Amen :)

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Urban comfort

Amidst chaos, confusion and heat in the disturbing urban settings of this city, there was also a tinge of peace and whistling in the wind.

Beneath the forest-like branches, there is a glimpse of light and hope at the end...

Monday, January 17, 2005

Who am I?

It's been very very hot lately again. The kind of hot days that I like simply because it means clear and nice skies and nice clouds too. But as hot as it is during the day, the nights have been as equally clear, with an array of stars on display, and has been windy and chilly too. Sounds just like how deserts are...contrasting, like a human being, unsure of its personality or trying to find itself.

Welcome back sunny skies! :)


God shines from beyond the clouds :)



The evening approaches...



The night is bright and still. But lately, it has just been clear, without clouds and very windy and chilly.


The many faces of nature and life. Just like the many faces of people. Or a person. Lord, help us to deal with these faces and changes...

Thursday, January 13, 2005

End of the journey

Everything has its shelf-life. Seems like the band's shelf-life might be coming to an end. Of late, things haven't quite been at its rosiest. Although at a 'pending' and 'think about it' stage, I do believe that the brothers in the band going separate ways is only a formality and a matter of time now. Nothing personal, just taking different routes from now on. It shouldn't overflow to our personal relationships with each other. Fumi just likes things done his way all the time so perhaps it's best he ventures into a new phase of his musical career on his own. We'll still support him the best way we can, whenever we can. I'll never forget the times we spent together as good friends and as a band. Ups and downs..we have boatloads of those. We've known each other for almost 10 years. I still remember always wanting to have a bandmate like him because of how well he could sing. He still remembers always wanting to have a drummer buddy like me, though I suck at playing the drums and I still do. These are some of the more 'exclusive'(oh alright! Silly more like!) photos of the band I had the hardest of times looking through thousands for, just to reminisce...







Who knows what will happen from now? I could never imagine myself playing full time with another band and I still find that concept a difficult one to grasp. Fumi cannot accept that he will play with sessionists or strangers or a brand new band again. Could time change this? Who knows? It's not a choice we want to make, but it's more of the fact that we have to. Man...now that sucks.



Here's a song I wrote, it's called 'End of the journey' and was supposed to be on our long-overdue EP but is still incomplete. Not sure if we'll finish this song as well for the EP. I somehow feel we should. It's a song about my journey with Fumi, as friends and also as bandmates. Don't know how it'll apply now...but I guess we just have to hang in there...

End of the journey

When we were young and vulnerable then,
The world made no difference,
Common interest brought us near,
Into a friendship that was dear,
Although we didn’t get to see,
What our futures could be then,
Though you were far and distant at times,
But this what I have to say…

Chorus:
And I hope you find your way,
To the end of the journey,
And I hope you find your way,
To the end of the journey…

Then our paths began to meet,
Opened doors for something big,
But it soon began to fall,
And we could have lost it all,
We didn’t learn to appreciate at all,
Often took things for granted,
Once we came back to it again,
Now it’s time to build it once more…

Chorus:
And I hope you find your way,
To the end of the journey,
And I hope you find your way,
To the end of the journey…

SOLO

Now that we’ve gone through thick and thin,
And we’ve seen each other grow,
But I’ve also seen you fail and fall,
But I’ll be waiting at the end…

Chorus:

And we’ll make it…
Though it won’t be easy…
But we’ll make it…
Just believe…

(Copyright - John's Mistress)




"Wish they weren't breaking up. Wish i knew how he felt. Wish i was with him now, listening to his music while in his arms." (JJ, Jan 2005)

I wish we didn't have to either...

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

TAD - coming together

Reflections. Looking back. Gazing forward.

So many things happened towards the end of last year and so far since the turn of the new year. It's been a while since I blogged. I've been asked quite a few times by different people why I haven't blogged and due to that, and also something else that will be happening soon, I've decided to spur myself back into action. Do I have reasons for not blogging? I guess you could say I've been tired. Don't get me wrong, Christmas was great and I could have easily blogged but after what rocked and shocked the world on Boxing Day, it's easy to understand why me blogging about Christmas, although special and meaningful as I celebrated the birth of our Heavenly Father with many special people; had to take a backseat for a bit.

Speaking of being spurred into action, God called again. He said, in light of the Tsunami tragedy, something had to be done. My last proper blog entry was dated a week before Christmas eve and it was about extending a hand to others, to help, to love. God had called then. He called again no later than a week and a half later.



As 'advertised' here on my blog and known also to whoever I knew within my circle of family, relatives, friends and acquaintances, me and Jo initiated the Tsunami Aid Day (TAD) in collaboration between our churches - Bangsar Lutheran Church (BLC) and Grace Methodist Church (GMC) Sentul - and also with World Vision Malaysia. Coming together just meant so much and through this entire experience, from the time this initiative was conjured up in thought first, followed by a call to action (I truly believe from God); it was such an experience. The picture of the umbrella says it all. We're all extensions, extensions of God, reaching out and touching lives, helping lives. We may not be of the same color, race, culture or nationality but we extend and connect with others. The tragedy that struck many, killed many, orphaned many, hurt many - also affected lives all across the globe and prompted thousands into action to go in aid of these people.



Tsunami Aid Day, 8th January 2005 - couldn't have happened without the coming together of so many people. Props to everyone involved *bow of respect*. EVERY ONE. Kudos and special thanks to 4 main people - Jo, her mum Rose, Pastor Sivin Kit and Pastor Chew Mae - without them, this wouldn't have materialized. DBKL and the Police also came through for us, sponsoring our tents, chairs and tables. So many BLCians and GMCians turned up, to help in every way thinkable - stalls, sales, music, clean-ups, set-ups, security, logistics, registration etc. etc.

It rained throughout the event, from 10am to 3pm. Not before, not after but THROUGHOUT the event. However, it was so encouraging and heartwarming to see that the rain didn't once deter or dampen the spirits of anyone. Everyone - the toddlers, the kids, the youth, the young adults, the 20 somethings, 30 somethings, 40 somethings, oldies - NO ONE was deterred. People came, although not as many as would have had it not been for the weather and participated. It was fulfilling. God had called and so many answered. It wasn't just about being a Christian. It was open for all. Us Christians who organized this were just God's servants, catalysts I believe to make something happen. It was even more encouraging to see one of the stalls set up by 2 Malay ladies, who are Muslims, selling Nasi Lemak at our event. Goes to show that there are no boundaries when it comes to achieving togetherness and unity in a cause to help others. The event was about the people who were directly affected by the Tsunami. The 5 hours well spent were merely just 5 hours spent of our Saturday morning and afternoon - to have a hands-on approach to doing something in aid of these people as opposed to just having an impersonal approach to viewing this entire debacle, watching it on the television and just feeling a brief sense of sympathy. It's easy to answer a call for aid by whipping out a chequebook and writing a cheque with numbers on it, assuming that that charitable cause in monetary terms alone is enough to help. This event wasn't about that. There was a strong emphasis on not glorifying our own actions. We were careful to not get carried away by the carnival-styled event, as it was NOT a carnival. There were prayer corners, prayer booths and prayer cards to be signed. Many took time off to pray, to contemplate, reflect and really pray. Jo felt that the rain served as a reminder to us from God that things just won't come easy for us anymore. Someone else also felt that the rain throughout just set the right mood and tone for the event in light of what had happened. It almost seemed appropriate that it rained. It gave the event a very apt setting. We didn't take a thing for granted.

Our target to raise via the event was a modest RM5000. To our pleasant surprise, we more than tripled that! Wow. All Praise and Glory be to God! Praise God, truly. He made all this happen.




"All those participating in today's event tried to do our "little bit" trusting it will make "a difference" for those in desperate need. For me, I pray that we would also recognize our own frailty." (Rev. Sivin Kit, 2005)

I'm just thankful as is everyone else, that we have been blessed by God so that we can in turn be a blessing to others. And as the Father has sent Him, He has sent us...

Indeed...

*Photos are taken courtesy of James Tan Chin Choy taken on my Canon Powershot G5. James was also in charge of music and entertainment for the TAD. Blue ribbon photo courtesy of Rev. Sivin Kit. Thanks James and Sivin!*

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Tsunami Aid Day *time change*!

Dear all,

Just to swiftly inform everyone that the time for the Tsunami Aid Day has been moved forward, and will be held from 10am to 3pm instead of the previous timing from 3-7pm. We just felt that this timing would be more condusive and it would be best to have the event right through lunchtime as well. They say that with Malaysians, food always brings people together :) So please inform everyone again about this time change and make the necessary announcements. We apologize for the inconvenience caused! Thank you for your time.

Best regards,
Wong Chin Hor