哈罗，各位陌生人。


好久没上来了，今晚要写点东西。

今天没上班，明天也不用上班。
星期一进公司玩一玩。
接下来没有工作，感觉很好。
失业真好！
没有电话来烦我，没有压力过日子。

刚才看了小雨的部落格，原来她最近家里有事。
要打电话给她，发现我不见了她的电话。
急着跟锦义要了电话，她又没接。
朋友，你还好吗？

接下来失业的日子，我要好好跟失去联络已久的朋友们联络联络。

懒惰是我的个性，但我好想念你们，朋友。

It's been so long since i last updated, i am lost.

Sigh.

Tired of work, tired of life, tired of love.

Fucking wanna run away.

untitled

I haven't blogged for so long, i don't even remember the username/password to log in.

Life is fucked up. Back from Bangkok (long time ago), quit my job, working as a freelancer in my old company (fucked up) and going to indonesia for a shoot end of this month.

Seriously. I don't know what is up with me.

Planning an escapism. Planning to fly overseas to work. Planning to purchase a piano.

Planning to commit suicide...maybe.

BANGKOK DAY 1

Sawadeekah~

I arrived bangkok at 9.45pm, which is around 10:45pm in Malaysia.

Have not done much but to get into the hotel, take a bath, watch some TV, go to the 7-eleven and online.

7-eleven is interesting, but not as interesting as the ones in Taiwan. The stuff in the 7-eleven here are like travel packs! Small size! like travel packs.. and they dont sell alcohol after 12am. And there are chivas and malibu and other alcohol behind the counter! It's like, omg....!!!!!!!!!

Work has not officially started yet, but beside this bangkok job, there is another bangkok job that i am helping on but not attending shoot, and several other jobs that i am involved in Malaysia. How i am going to manage all these, i do not know. All i know is to soar to the sky and achieve my dreams.....

Pray for me. For strength and guidance.

王君鸿

"人生有几个十年？？ 原来我的人生只有两个半！！！"
Above are the last words written on his facebook, and he hanged himself. His birthday was 7th June 1984. He didn't even stay for his birthday...

He is... one of the nicest guys i know. The last time i saw him, we were at Tong's party, smoking and gambling our life away... but he looked happy...


It is weird how you will never get to talk to a person anymore, never to look at him, to smile at him, to call him, or to look into his eyes and tell him that everything is gonna be fine....

I remember the days we went to play basketball... I remember the days you drove us around and we went yum cha... I remember the days you told me you wanted to go Hong Kong and have been praying and working hard to save money... I remember how you said, "Xin yi!!! I am very happy!!"

I regret not keeping in touch with you. I regret not calling you. I didn't even know where you were, did you still go to church, did you still have faith, what you worked as.....and, were you happy?

I....

I miss you. That's all i can say and i can talk no more.

RIP.

Despite the nonsense that some people say that it is unwise to end one's life, or that commit suicide doesn't make a difference, i still think that you have been very brave to have lived until the very last day. Who gives a fuck to the people who claim that they love god and still judging your actions?

I just hope that you had been happier. Or that i could have made you happier.

Went home at 3.30am last night, preparing for a meeting this morning.

We are having two meetings today. One at 10am, another at 3pm.

Neverending rushing of work yesterday.


My superior requested me to attend the 10am meeting. I told her the other meeting would be at 3pm and we would have a lot of last minute rushing to do. She insisted.

So i went. And discovered that i would be going to Thailand in June, if everything went well. For the job(s).

I was speechless. I fucked up on the taiwan job, and now they let me go to Thailand?

I am afraid that the short 3-month self-improvement is not enough for this job.

Fear, and excitement.

Untitled.

Guys, and all their fucking lies.

They never change.

I appreciate you telling me you miss me, calling me spontaneously. That night after i didn't call you for a few days, this morning, the messages you sent to me.

I thought i was loved. I thought you were in love, with me.

Until today i discovered that you came down to KL with another girl. April. My birthday month.

All those lies.... thanks.

I thank god for letting me understand you better, in a hard way perhaps, but still, understanding you.

I waited for you to grow up, but obviously you will never grow up.
I waited for the day you'll fall in love with me again, but obviously, you fall in love with one too many girls.

If D were still in KL today, i would have gone to his place to get some weed.
Thank god he's not around.

Dont worry, i am sober, just,
heartbroken.