It's another moment that I'll remember for life.. Thank you.. =))

I will slowly help you build up the confidence in you.. Let's jia you together ^^

Work life has finally gotten a little more challenging now. Not that it wasn't challenging enough during my training in India, just that it's a different type of challenging I'm facing now.

Starting from yesterday, I'd officially been assigned to handle some real projects. I'm really kind of excited despite 'having work' to do, because I tend to get some sense of satisfaction whenever I can help my customers to answer their inquiries. There're still many things to learn from the seniors but I'm really looking forward to all of them. Perhaps partly because I've been assigned to my preferred region as well ^^

Life is getting better and better since that day onwards.. I'm not sure how long this will last but I will do my best to lengthen it =)) I must, you must, we must.

I'm so happy right now..

Finally I have a reason to carry on..

Finally I feel mentally 'balanced'..

Finally I see the future again..

Finally there's some hope..

I must treasure this last chance and not let it slip through my fingers again.

I really want this to happen.. Will the entire universe conspire again to make my wish come true?

谢谢你的细心，我真的觉得自己好幸福  =))

'Unrequited love is not love at all.'

 -Wei Zhong kor kor 

 I was so glad that he understood it well even before he got into love. Unlike me, it took me so long to realise the importance of the meaning of these words. I learnt my lesson in a very, very hard way..

 Others can very confidently claim that they know you very well.. Me? Ironically I can only very confidently claim that I don't know you well at all. I don't know what you are thinking, I don't know what you want. I have no idea when to say the right things, and when not to do the wrong things in front of you. 

 I admit it, it's a mistake since the start. Fuck my life. 

 Through FB I got to know my primary school classmate got engaged at the age of 23, just this September. Also via FB, I found out that my JC schoolmate got married in December last year, also at the age of 23. 

What am I doing here? Always daydreaming of getting married with someone whom I can spend the rest of my life with. Dreaming of marrying early, perhaps at the age of 26, and be a mother of two before I hit 30. That was my dream when I entered university. During the senior years of university life, I came to realise that this dream will not come true, because there was no one who wanted me. I knew my clock was ticking fast, so I extended this 'deadline' to 28, hoping that some miracles will happen before I reach 26. But hell no, I'm reaching 25 and I am STILL all alone. I really wonder how many people around me have lesser experiences in love and relationships than me. 

 Then I started to doubt myself. I began to question myself if I'm ugly, if my character sucked so much that no one dares to get near me. Or am I not good enough to be a girlfriend/wife material, maybe I don't know how to cook better or do housework better? Perhaps I'm not caring or sweet enough in the eyes of men, or because I don't know how to act gentle and weak in front of guys? 

When everyone in the whole world can enjoy the feeling of being in love, I know the problem lies with me. I know somehow I must have sucked so much that no one wants me, or at least nobody wanted to settle down with me seriously. 

Falling in love is the root cause to all my sorrows. The only way not to hurt myself again and which is also within my control is not to ever fall in love again. If I can't stop it, I must avoid it from happening. Fuck my life for believing that I could have a happy ending in my love life somehow. I should have acknowledged the fact that I'm not meant to have a peaceful love life in the first place. I'm not meant to have a happy love life since the start.

 *    *    *

 Since there is no future, why are we still wasting our time?

偶尔这么突然的抛下一切并逃走的感觉其实也不错。不但少了离别时的依依不舍，更少了在气头上说的那些伤你的话。

Compared to those monotonous or dull colours, I still prefer things that are of bright and lively colours. I guess I'm still slightly inclined to the cheerful side deep down inside me. I hope this continues and perhaps one fine day, I'll fully recover from this 'illness'. 

Anyway, I can't believe that I just spent 1.8k to buy a new lens. I mean, that's worth more than a 2 weeks holiday in Taiwan! My pocket has a giant hole now.. Touch.. It hurts!! But since it has been said that a photographer is only as good as his/her equipment, I hope I won't regret with my purchase.

Oh and I counted my money and found out that I still have almost half the amount of rupees I exchanged before I came over. I'd have left with much more if I didn't for the New Delhi trip, which costed me about Rs12000, making it about SGD$325. 

My next holiday destination will be South Korea and I'll try hard to save up for that. By the way, after watching a few movies last time and some Korean Dramas recently, I really have this urge to pay a visit to Macau too. I think it's a very beautiful place with amazing architectures.. I'm hoping to go there real soon.. 

Anyway, here is a prelude to my New Delhi trip, we went all the way there mainly just to see THIS:

Yup, it's the famous Taj Mahal. Impressive indeed, though I had some TERRIBLE experiences there. I'll explain those in details soon.

P/S: I was so happy while packing up my luggage just now. This feeling just rocks!

P/P/S: My headache is driving me nuts =((

Got back my results for the test yesterday.. I'm quite surprised with my results because I scored much better than I thought I would. It is not really high but I am satisfied. 

Anyway one of the best things I gained from the factory visits this week is......plucking some flowers along the road side. HAHAHA 

I'm serious! These flowers are one of my favourite because they are so small and cute and yet so colourful and sweet. And after some intense research, I finally found out that they are actually called Moss Roses, aka 太阳花 (not the same as sunflower!). They have been flowering 3 days in a row at my window now.. Brightening up my day the moment I see them when I wake up in the morning!  

I really do hope that I can bring them back to Singapore without crushing them in my luggage! I mean , I know there are such flowers in Singapore too but most of them come in hot pink only. Here in Chennai I found peach, yellow, light pink and white ones! ^^

Here is a photo of this beautiful plant, taken at night though so you can't see the beautiful flowers =X

Pretty =))

*    *    *

这首歌总是给我一种特别的感觉，非常的动心、非常的富有感情。

它能让我想起我理想中的爱情，非常的感人、非常的幸福。

最然很不现实，但是我希望我的爱情会是这样的...

想想就好，想想就好... 不然会受伤的...

这首歌给你的感觉是什么呢？

Today's open book test was crazy. When I first saw the questions, I literally starred at them for a few minutes, not knowing how to solve of any of them. Omg! Finally after 3 hours of hardwork, I managed to solve most of them, though not sure if my answers are correct. LoL. Arghhh... Why are all the tests so difficult?? Sigh.

Anyway, I received some good news from my colleagues in Singapore. Hope things will turn out smoothly and may I get what I want again! Shall keep my fingers crossed from now on ^^

*     *     *

Can't believe I will be able to eat all the yummy food again in Singapore next week! I've been counting down since a few weeks back and now it's finally down to the last week! Excited and totally looking foward to it!

I was listening to some classic band pieces via Youtube today... I so miss those band days! How I wish I can watch some good band concert soon.. Will try to accomplish this before this year ends or at least before  CNY bah.

Presenting to you my all time favourite piece, Concerto D' Amore, by Tokyo Kosei Wind Orchestra.

 十二月又到了...

圣诞节也快要来临了...

一个非常喜庆的节日，却往往是让我感到最孤单的一天...

越是像这样的日子就越是让我感到畏惧，仿佛全世界都在笑我；

笑我的孤独、笑我的寂寞...

不知从何时起，我总是喜欢在平安夜的时候自己一个人躲在家里，点着蜡烛，听着电脑里播的圣诞歌...

再怎么说，这也比出去庆祝来得好，因为没人会看见独身一人的我有多么的悲哀、多么的可笑。

请告诉我，怎么才能再开心起来？

怎么才能让一切退回到原位？

突然好希望这一切都没发生过，至少现在的我会快乐一点吧。

*       *       *

偶尔病一下也挺好的，不但能趁机好好休息一下，还能减肥 ^^