I don't really care what you "SAY".....

it seems like the old adage "actions speak louder than words" is ringing in my ears a lot these days.

funny thing ... i was scrolling thru facebook this morning, and maybe it's ringing in some other ears as well.

i don't know how my parents instilled that into my thinking growing up. i'd like to think it was because they modeled it. and required it.

words are just that ... words.
LetTeRs... combined together to form something we read and understand.

(this is a list i had made to go out of town. can you pick out what Tommy wrote?)

i could type out that i am a movie star.
.... or at my goal weight.
... or 5ft 8 inches.

but it doesn't make any of those statements true.

i can tell you that i am praying for you.
i can tell you that i'm reading a book.
i can tell you that i love you.

but if there is no action behind it  - it's simply not true.

we tell our kids a lot of things. we hope and pray that they 'get' it.
we tell Tucker that 'hard work pays off' -- are we working hard towards our own goals?
we tell Annie that sometimes you have to take the high road -- are we modeling that to her?

love is an action y'all.
love is sacrifice.
love is selfless.

a persons actions will tell you everything you need to know.

my prayer as we begin Summer is this ... Lord, let me be a woman of action. let me be a woman that when people hear my WORDS -- they know i mean them because of my actions.

let my family and friends NEVER doubt my love for them. i pray that they would never doubt that i love them. i pray that my actions show each and every one of them that i love them.

What you DO speaks so loudly that I can't hear what you SAY - Emmerson

It's been a year in our "new normal"....

we have talked a lot about our "new normal" this year.
it looks a LOT different than my "old" normal.

it's definitely not all bad ... it's just new. it's just different.

i think i see life a little differently.

i think i am more cynical. less trusting.

sometimes i feel my skin getting thicker and walls getting taller.

a new normal means 2 birthday celebrations.

a new normal means 2 Christmas celebrations.

it works. its different. 

it has changed the way i look at my kids.

wanting them to know that they are "safe". 

perhaps longing for the security that is now absent from a life i once knew.

answering questions that i wish i didn't have to answer.

explaining things that shouldn't have to be told to their young hearts.

strengthened relationships... that's good.

addressing real. hard. life. with my husband -- that's great.

relying on God and my faith -- that's what it's all about.

A new normal? Yes.

A bad normal? Not really.

A promise of God's hand in my future. Absolutely.

i can't catch up ... so, i'm moving on.

there would be no way to catch you up on my life since i last wrote on this blog.

suffice it to say that my life the past year could definitely be a LifeTime movie.

as long as i keep this up .... you will probably figure out a lot about what has gone on --

 my new normal.

i've always known that life is full of disappointments. 

the hard part is when you realize you can't shield your kids from them forever.

T has been playing baseball since he was 5.

he loves it.

and if he ever gets his hips that his mama gave him into it - he could possibly hit it out of the park.

 (age 6)

this year he was in a slump.
a bad one.
like ... he probably went 4 games with nothing. but. strike. outs.

(age 7)

we had tears.
lots of tears.
lots of silence.

then a request ... "dad - can we go and do some work in the cage?"

... and they did it.
... and they did it again.
... and he practiced - more than just with the team.
... and he swung his bat in the driveway.
.... and he hit tennis balls over the house.

then ... he got that hit he's been needing.
he got moved up in the batting order -- gained some confidence.

this final picture was taken after a game when he had a couple of hits. i happened to catch it ... and i will forever love this picture. ... because he was looking straight at Tommy.

he's my introvert.
he's my serious boy.

this was his way of saying...

 "thank you dad - we did it. the hard work and reps you talked about - paid off".

Tuck's team won a huge tournament yesterday. He played 3 games yesterday ... and he was 6 for 7. I can't even tell you the lesson he's learned. Hard work. Keep at it. If you want it -- you have to put in some extra effort.

It was a great Father's Day for Tommy. I'm so happy that the boys won that ... for all of the awesome fathers who put so much time in for the boys on that team. It was a long day - but such a great win. 

Life Happens

It started as a desire for a 'little house in the mountains where I can hear a babbling brook" - dad.

But somehow we all (he has 4 girls to do that for him!) convinced him that if we got a bigger house, we could all be there together -- and it could be our get away -- and my parent's 'Big House' - since they had downsized to a townhome in Atlanta.

and so it was.... a place for our family to gather. a place to bring our friends to get a reprieve.

.... a place to do puzzles instead of worry about work.

a place to shoot guns and learn how to be OUTSIDE...

a place for FUN. FAMILY. FRIENDS. MEMORIES.



AC was potty trained here. And my neice lost her first tooth here.

"let's just go to Hiawassee" -- whenever the going got tough.

My grandmother and my Great Aunt LOVED being in the mountains ...surrounded by thier family.

Do not store up for yourself treasurese on earth....Matt 6:19

God had another plan.

He knew all along that we would enjoy this house for 7 wonderful years.

As they put that first log on the foundation, He knew that July 25th, 2011 would be the end of it.

And, if you believe like I do - God had the lightning strike at the exact spot at the exact time to start that fire.

He knew that my parents would leave just 4 hours before the fire started and that the house would be empty.

He knows that my parents put more stock in human life than they do in thier THINGS, although, it is so hard to remember all the sweet things that were there .... and the lives and experiences that those resembled.

So, the rebuild begins.

The mourning of the loss continues.

Memories run rampant in all of our minds....

But, my parents are already ready to start the process.

I'm not even sure how the "Big House" got the name big house. But it stuck. If you've been there, you probably call it that too! We are all looking forward to more memories, more fun times, more laughs, talks, and moments of serenity in the Big House #2.

(July 2011 - last family gathering at the Big House)

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.  -The Wonder Years

Upping my Game

it's hard to explain - but i feel like it is time to up my game a bit.

having your kids in a Private, Christian school - it's easy to relax a bit in the teaching at home.
you know that they are getting solid teaching at school.
you know that they are learning how to handle things the correct way with the awesome instruction by teachers.

i some ways, i feel like i have taken a back seat to really TEACHING my kids at home how to react the way JESUS would react to certain things.

unfortunately, i feel like i haven't been as ON TASK of praying thru problems and for people.... WITH them.

with the change to public school this year, i have an overwhelming sense of wanting to be SURE that i am on my GAME. that i am instilling in them the truths of the gospel as well as the need for prayer, for church, for Jesus in their lives. Displayed ALL THE TIME -- to people who may not know Him.

i'm starting a new journey that i've never experienced before. of course, our home has always been a place where Jesus's name is spoken -- and where we try and live lives that are pleasing to Christ.

However......

i feel like it's time to really get my armour on. to teach my kids how to get their armour on daily. to be ready. to be on alert. to be a reflection of Jesus to their new friends. what an exciting place to be .

i love how life and parenthood are constantly causing you to be a BETTER YOU!

change

i've never been good with change.

maybe it's a middle child sort of thing.

(AC first day of school 2008)

although, i did change my furniture around a lot as a kid.... i wonder what that was all about.

this morning as i woke up to make lunches for my kids - the change hit me hard.

(T first day of school Kindergarten)

there will be a cafeteria.
 i don't 'have' to make the lunches everyday.
as i packed the lunches - i put a note in their boxes -- telling them both to ENJOY thier last day at Providence.

(AC first day of school 1st grade)

soak it in.

embrace the friends, the love.

(T first day of school 3rd grade)

crazy as i pulled up my pictures this morning to download some ... the first day of school folder was open.
wow.... change.

First day of school 3rd and 1st grade

change is good.

and i'm confident in this change.

i'm excited about this change.

emotionally - it's hard, but i know in my heart that it is best for our family.

so, as I pack up all the uniforms today and get them ready to give away  - i will know these things:

 change is necessary.

change is good.

 change brings growth.

change builds character.

 change brings new life.

change IS life.

last day of school with Bob the Bus Driver