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©Glamouresque. |
Saturday, December 31, 2011
LAST DAY OF 2011 2011 Lived through the year with no regrets. Worked like a dog for very little salary Heart broke into pieces on 17 october as we bid goodbye to linda's mom can't recall how much nonsense I've put through for guys Never ran so much in my entire life than this year Thankful for family and friends who stood by thick and thin. Extremely thankful and grateful to my parents. my pillar. my life. 2012 FINAL YEAR IN SCHOOL! The feeling of moving one step closer to your dream. priceless. All for that piece of paper! A leather bag, passport and lots of money. I'd like to travel alone next year, visit places I've never been to, marvel at things, experience the cultures. and live by the edge. At work A true test of character. this is it. My life revolves around people but people do not revolve around my life. Never be afraid of getting your heart broken Because they only make you stronger PEACE OUT! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! Thursday, December 15, 2011
RANTING It's Friday tomorrow and I've yet started mugging for my MA paper this Saturday!! ZERO understanding. I need a miracle! side track. you talk to me like I'm your kiddo, you correct me at all my grammatical errors with no mercy. you said you expected more from me from the way I speak (via whatsapp)and you firmly asked me to stop using deep words, and use simple words. all and all... you bring me up high and then throw me off the cliff. one moment you're so nice to me, the next moment everything seems like a roller coaster ride. you're no different from other guys. especially the ones who expects me to be perfect. you're a smarty. I'm not. I worked my life up here, I will not allow anyone or any circumstance/situation to bring me down. I'm just not like the other girls, I may be vulnerable at times but don't take it as an opportunity to put me down. Don't treat me like your boxer! wear for a few days and then throw me away! RAHH! you're so mean and irritating!! why on earth!!! why! Of so many things to crush, i have a crush on you???? I can control my emotions but i cannot control who my heart falls for. SUCKS! AND I SEE YOU 5DAYS A WEEK! with your beautiful smile and kick ass bod. and still as irritating and mean. Tuesday, December 13, 2011
I'm the kind of girl who backs off when the guy I've a crush on has another girl along side him. I'm not that kind of girl who throws myself at a guy. no I'm not. I'd rather not get into a relationship to nurture a strong friendship. I want to be in love with my best friend. (he) I'm the kind of girl who believes that no matter what you do, at the end of the day the truth shall always set you free. (FYI) I'm not talking about God here. I'm talking about all the good things and bad things one person could ever say or do, no matter how long it takes it will always revel it's true colours. Been pondering for the entire day for this entry, i was just thinking to myself if it's too childish to even write this way. I mean the whole entire character thingy.. you know? haha boy, I'm amused at myself. This sounds absurd. Sometimes i think to myself, maybe i'm thinking too much about all the chemistry we've had, the amount of coincidence items or the places we've been and left memories with the previous half. While all that good stuff gets me on cloud no.9 there comes along another girl. FML. With regards to work. . I've never taken so many test at work and felt more stressful than preparing for my school exams. Tomorrow, I've got another test to clear and who knows over the next few days there could be more! Brain fried! Accounting paper is this Saturday? Not confident to pass, have to pass to move on to uni. When failing was never one of your option, you will do whatever it takes to win. we're constantly fighting our own battles in life. I've got mine to fight for, I've got dreams to chase, I've got me. DAMN tired. Zzzzzzz Monday, December 12, 2011
When i think about you, everything seems prettier When we talk, i can't see anyone else When you looked me in the eye, you tied knots in my heart. I'm in deep shit. Sunday, December 11, 2011
Josh Rouse Flight Attendant When i think about you, everything seems prettier When we talk, i can't see anyone else When you looked me in the eye, you tied knots in my heart. I'm in deep shit. Sara Bareilles - Gravity (VEVO Presents) Even the words fits like a finished puzzle I guess, this is what people mean> > > " when the song sings about exactly how you feel" Friday, December 2, 2011
Days that calls for celebration such as valentines day/Christmas/new year count down are also days most people commit suicide because when others are celebrating with their love ones they are bleeding on the inside and until the blood runs dry on the inside, the only alternative is to bleed on the outside, the physical, the reality. which eventually leads to death. It is always the new year's eve and valentines day that got me as you get older, you accumulate events that collates so much memories that haunts you some how, but I don't really fancy celebrations cause it's more than that, it is always the people that counts. When all your friends are attached and you're single, sometimes feeling a little empty on the inside is normal. Fill that void with something better worth pondering for, like the good things in life. Always so thankful and grateful for everything that I have in this life I'm already blessed in every area of my life. He's timing is always the timing. you can't rush what's already planned for your life nor stop what is coming. you can walk into it knowing that He will never give you something out of your capacity. Rainy nights, spinning head, time for bed. Thursday, December 1, 2011
These words and feelings have zero gravity and they appeared exactly how it looks like in space. Every night I walk pass my parents room and as I watch them sleep. There's this uncontrollable wave of guilt and burden that crashes upon me like I'm the shore of certain beach. I wish someone could understand how this feels. wouldn't it be nice if I still had someone to talk to on the phone like how it used to be? while all the technologies are advancing, some things should remain vintage. >>(like talking on the phone for hours) Today, i walked into a place that my being felt really uncomfortable for the longest time. There's this certain atmosphere that allows a person to feel that they belong to a certain circumstance? and there's also one that the being rejects. I happen to step into the one my being rejected completely, while i used to have enjoyed myself in that very place but today i know i'd never step in again. I felt stupid, the people there need to get a life, most of them are weird. haha Today, also happened to be the class test for management accounting. while the question seemed easy, I probably did really badly. 10% of overall grade. I pray that whatever time remaining to the final paper will be clear enough to understand, there's only so much hard work one person can do, if the question is not precise it'll be redundant for me to work so hard for these numbers and formulas. Sometimes, I think I'm lost. It was liked trying to be someone new while living in the old self. I probably was lost since 2007. Have i found myself yet? nope. I'm in the new and the old. how complicating does that sounds uh? No surprise when new pals looks me in the eye and tells me how lost those eyes looked. you can have goals, and that is all good but without dreams and visions one perishes. constantly torn by what I want to do in life, what I need to do and what I love to do. dreams VS reality and needs. Can't they work out together you may ask. Yea, but i've got no courage and confident that i'd make it. And what really seems like it's happening now is that i'm putting those dreams aside and attending to what I need to do this season or years so forth. Torn. But I believe somehow God's plan is better than mine. I choose to just put my trust in Him, it's amazing how He's still a huge part of my life even though I haven't been an on fire christian for almost 4 years now. 9 years ago I accepted Jesus into my life. That is just one of the best decision I've made in life. you can't shaft what you believe in, into someone's life. the most you could do is to live out the kind of life what you believe in has taught you. Alright, my eyes are really tired now. and boy, it sucks going to bed only at 5am when i've been trying to go for morning runs. That's all. Zzzzzz . . . ... |
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