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a little space to ponder; |
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Profile |
a little space to ponder; |
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Friday, July 29, 2011
BACK TO SAY THAT SU FUN IS AWESOME
&
MY BLOG SUDAH BASI!
lol trials and life and spm lah.
sorry bro.
p/s I LIKE THE NEW BLOGGER
8:55 PM
Sunday, May 8, 2011
oh..... & I love Mcfly. kisskiss, i'm actually a much happier kid aaaandddd... maybe... just MAAAAAYYYYBEEEEE.... I'm coming back to blog! :) 2:47 AM
thoughts It has been quite some time...but I'm here to type some thoughts that are running through my head. I have a private blog, it was a space where I would pour out my innermost thoughts and feelings I have pent up inside me....When I was 15, brash and emotional. I went back, read it again and I realized..... I'm really different now than I was back then. I've changed. I don't know how, but i have. Sure, I am still dealing with the same issues I had two years ago but when I look back, it doesn't really matter anymore. I used to believe that friends come before anything. I would have done anything to get their attention. I would be hurt if I had to walk or sit alone in school. I couldn't stand not having friends around. I was that person. She was one stupid, stupid girl. Two years rolled by.... I have learnt so many valuable life lessons, gone through so much more and came out of it well. In comparison to my "emotional" blog 2 years ago, its issues were so petty compared to what happened last year. Well as a start,
Here's a confession: Deep down inside this person you know as Wei Yng, lies a timid girl cowering at a dark corner who just yearns for acceptance from everybody. She is just hidden behind multiple layers of masks she has moulded herself into to fit in just to please everyone. I just wonder if there's someone out there to peel away all these masks to find the real me. Sometimes, I feel so conflicted that I question myself. ...who am I???
2:33 AM
Saturday, January 29, 2011
2011 so far...... like everyone else has said, it was a rocky start. senior year and such.... it gets pretty mind blowing. but along with age comes responsibility, stress, peer pressure, confusion, heartaches, heartbreaks, friendships mended, friendships broken and many others. this year, i have decided to live life positively, no matter what. even when i feel like throwing everything and just run away, even when i get so jealous i don't know where to turn, even when i feel angry, upset at someone, i just put a smile on my face. call me childish, but i don't want to experience any sort of negativity this year. last year was...complicated. i admit, i wasn't perfect and it doesn't mean that i'm positive, then i'm perfect. we never are. the key here is to be satisfied with what you have. by the looks of it, if i'm happy all the time, i'm pretty satisfied. any sort of disappointment, tears, jealousy, hatred, i left it all in 2010. i have decided to forget and start anew. during the one and a half month break, i took time to think things through. made some new friends along the way, met up with the exported ones...... and saw an increase in weight as well. oh well, fat people are happy people. someone once told me, i am easily affected by people. i can't agree more to that person. i have to admit, i am a little paranoid. every little thing that someone says about anyone, especially if its something negative, i would automatically think that person is directing it to me. yes, even if i haven't spoken to that person for aeons (exaggerating a little here) a little voice in the back of my head will convince myself that it's me. sometimes, i get so paranoid, i start being afraid of certain people. i exclude myself from society just so i won't hurt anyone's feelings. i think my words and actions through just so that it won't offend anyone. after a while.... sometimes that fear gets permanent. i am not some headstrong person that i may portray, you have no idea how easily i can be swayed by people. especially when its negative statements. this is where the self-esteem issues come in. as some of you might be annoyed/amused/pissed by my new hobby, which is making everyone call me "pretty". i admit, its a little of a confidence booster, but deep down inside, i don't think i'm pretty at all. my friends are so much prettier/skinnier/fairer/sociable/funny/outgoing than i am. i am not jealous of them, in fact i am happy for them, we're slowly growing up and in a good way too. maybe except for me, i'm just increasingly growing.......sideways. speaking of friends........ i have a fantastic group of friends, and they are awesome in every way possible and should not change a bit, every single one of their flaws just accentuates their good qualities, it is what makes them....them. i love them so much my spleen hurts. of course there were a few hiccups along the way, best friends turned into sour friends, break ups with best friends (don't worry, still single since 1994. sad, i know. just waiting for the right one.........yeah right.) and of course.... a whole load of bitching. can't live with it, can't live without it. basically, 2010 was alright and this bit of 2011 has been a little eventful, but i'm looking forward what it has in store for me. (thats what everyone says but i definitely am not. i'm 17 this year and growing up, but i think my maturity is still at 12, i say the stupidest of things at times. and there's this thing called spm where its all study and stress yourself out with dumb A+s. wish i could just skip to 2012.) * dear best friend, i am so sorry for what i have done to you, i know it kills you that we're not talking on comfortable terms because i started distancing myself, but please trust me. its all for the better. just know that i treasure you that much as well. i felt like i lost my bone marrow when i made the decision to cut ties with you. i just miss our conversations. any night that goes by without talking to you feels incomplete. but it hurts so much that i have to cave in......... no matter what will happen, i'll tell you the truth behind this facade because no one is happy but that one person. and to be honest, i don't think its fair for all of us. i deserve to have my way once in a while, i'm so sick of letting others have their way as long as they're happy. sometimes, as long as they're happy, i'm happy doesn't really apply to things i really care for. xxxxxxxxx wei yng you won't see a blog post in any of the days in the near future, so don't bother coming back. xo 1:51 AM
Thursday, November 25, 2010
so sleepy. BUT. out of november, today pretty much outshine most of them. hellyeah, i'm a lady pimp with two pretty fffffiiinnneeee manwhores. ;) 11:04 PM
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
1.46AM sam tsui is love omg. 1:47 AM
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