____________________________ runasfastasyoucan // and don't look back;

Friday, July 23, 2010

sitting at foodcourt 1, i began to realise that actually poly isn't that bad of a place after all. the beautiful green across the foodcourt as you sit down with a plate of your favourite food, served in no fanciful manner, but in a way for you to just dig in and to have a relaxed feeling. it didn't matter it was badly maintained. it didn't matter that the seats were quite crappy, not having a support for your back to lean back on. it didn't even matter that you could smell the toilet even though it's like miles away (it's actually about 50m-100m away). it was peaceful. it was decent. it showed the humane side of poly. the decency of which comforted you. you didn't need to walk fast to avoid social interaction. in fact, that was a place, inviting you to indulge in meaningless talk. something that many have failed to understand that there is a need to. nowadays, everything has to have a specific purpose. or everything has to mean something. it has to, at the very least, be deemed productive in a manner by society. we are so controlled by society. we have become slaves of society. what has society told us? or what does society tell us? i wish i could drag on, but as much as i would. i have much more better things for me to indulge myself in and divulge here. i, frankly speaking, feel this entire paragraph was pointless. meaningless. but, then again, maybe, and i hope, it did made you think a little of what you have to say about this. it's just something for you to tease your mind. make it work a little. after all, we have been for years asked to monotonously crack math problems and drip chemicals from burettes to help us work towards being a salesman in a suit. hmm, let us stray away now.

okay, back after like a week and a half? really busy. projects piling up. report here. hmmm, butall seems to be going along fine. got back accounting. and it's seriously disappointing. argh. my current grade point is a C. how the hell am i going to get an A. i just want to get a grade point of 3.5. i get that, i'll be happy. like really happy. the rest i need to get A. really need to get an A. i believe i can.

and i'm feeling happy today. well, went for a run. my legs hurt for a while at first, but it soon got better. and i did strengthening and loads of stretching. and i feel really good. i think another short run tomorrow. maybe i self-train for a while? then get back to training when i'm better? i dunno, i'm thinking that's better. instead of always having to hit a requirement. and i'll be able to come back stronger. so guess, it's working for me like that i guess. and plus saw her too and had dinner with her. can't wait for sunday. anyway, i know she's reading this so, love you lena. yeah, you've really been great. like, thanks for holding up with my shit and standing my irreverent jokes and remarks. but yeah, thanks babe. oh and plus, think tomorrow, i'm going for a family dinner at like a seafood place or maybe some other place. see where we wanna go. i so wanna have kidney mee sua. shit, i'm hungry.

and i was actually expecting myself to come up with a better entry, but for some reason, i just managed to get it out like that. no any substance. no way to make you guys drool over the keyboard. that is, if you still have enough drool left in you after sleeping the whole day in school, waiting for the time to pass by til the end of lecture. but who am i to talk.

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

i told myself i would never talk negatively and immaturely in this blog. not in this blog. the last blog that i had, yeah, it was so smothered with so many awkward posts. it was unbearable to read. unbearable to just even look through. i can't even bring myself to read those posts. it was unnecessarily and pointlessly awkward over-emotional rants. but now i feel like sometimes we've gotta just reflect. and i guess maybe in a way, this will be a blessing in disguise. maybe i won't see it now, nor will anyone. but maybe, when i'm slowly recollecting the memories by going through the posts, i'll somehow stumble unto this and see how far i've gone.

recently i've got the feeling, that i've found something i've really been looking for in a person (girl actually) and this brought me back to thinking about my past. i know i hate going back to the past. cause you'll always find yourself saying ''should've done this, shouldn't have done that". sure, i could beat myself silly over the fact that i've missed two whole years of track training. but beating myself over it and crying over it, won't bring some dude from the future to bring me to the past and allow me to correct my wrongs. the thing is that, the those mistakes, are mistakes, not regrets. many people always tend to instinctively bury their head in their hands when thinking about the past, cause they find they could've done it better. "aiyah, i regret man..."

in the past, she lied. she lied. and she also lied. sure there were happy moments. and those were really great. but i vowed myself to never think about it. was it also partly my fault? was it partly my fault that it failed? some maybe. but guess maybe i was looking for a butterfly in a a swarm of wasps (wait, does that make sense??). but at least i've never learn to brood over such topics. maybe i feel it's a waste. that's the reason why i don't like hearing stories like this. but what are we to do? we're humans after all, and we have that natural instinct to contradict ourselves and are masters of paradoxes. anyway, maybe somewhere it must've registered in my subconscious mind that all women are liars (great ones, actually, but i don't wanna go into that as i don't feel there's a need to start a chauvinistic war). but everyone lies. anyway, maybe i've just gotta reconfirm it all.

i've got a new one. and i love her. but i don't want this to be some fling. nor do i want us to fall a month later. i just don't want that. at least let it grow and grow and grow. but the thing is, that i am someone who likes to push stuff a bit. and i have the incessant habit to be right sometimes. and i may have a sudden anger attack. is she able to take it? but i am, i hope to be a concerned guy and an adoring guy as well. i'm often seen as the guy crudely scoffing and retorting smartly to stupid actions humans do. being a prick at times. but i guess, somewhere deep in me, is really a guy who's really caring (AWWWW!!!).

i know as times go on, i may not have the time that she may need of me, but no matter what, i'm always there. even though, i find it hard to say how i feel, i'll still show it to her. i guess, that says something. i guess this says something. i am human. i have my own faults. please find it in me and then we'll have a creative discussion (a.k.a argument). it sounds stupid i know. but, yeah, that's more harmonious right?

i dunno whether you are reading this right now. i'm never gonna let go of your hand. i'm never gonna go away. i'm never gonna leave you. no matter what, alright honey?

hmmm, this is so unlike me. okay. i need to neutralise all these sappy thoughts.

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]

Saturday, July 10, 2010

okay, been away for quite long. my leg's in a really better shape. not much pain. and i'm really really ecstatic about it. like finally, my shins are in better form. gotta do more strengthening of my lower legs. so i think, yeah, i'll be getting my fitness up from there. and then, boom, i'm on the track doing 80secs pace.

okay, exams are like round the corner. i've really gotta step up my game. especially for my accounting. man, i've gotta ace the next test. quantitative analysis, yeah, just keep up the good work. i've got the hang of it i guess. what else. oh and marketing research is gonna be a bitch. i can foresee that. i've really gotta buck up my grades and do good man. it's not easy but then again, how hard can it be? i'm feeling a little more relaxed. campfire's done. now i'll just go down for scouts when i can. and try to do more behind the scenes work. of course, my studies right now are more important. i have to fixate my focus on my main goal - sports science or psychology. ntu or smu. which one? if i can't get into sports, then i'll go for the latter. cause it's not as tough to get in, i assume?

okay, haven't been onto youtube so can't really put some videos here. been rather busy. and anyway, world cup's on later. should i watch? nah, i don't think so. had a nice long day out. 10 beautiful hours. yeah.

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]

Thursday, July 1, 2010

guys. seriously. i am just frustrated. the pain in my legs. it's just irritating the hell out of me.

okay, let me tell you guys what happened. the other day, monday, went to the doctor. doctor said, "well, it's just mild stress injury. i know that asking you to rest for 4-6 weeks will cause you to lose your stamina. so i advise you to start at 50% of your intensity. and slowly increase by 5%-10%. if the pain however comes back, you know you then have to rest." so he booked me an appointment with the sports physio and podiatrist (the guy who checks your feet). what this means is basically to squeeze every dollar out of you. yeah, i mean, it's really cool. to know what is really going on. whether you stepping properly. whether you can improve in anyway to help your muscles or bones to not get injured. something like that. i hope. if not, it's just a waste of money. or i could think of it as generous donations to Changi General Hospital. hmmm, no. i think more of it as wasting money.

anyway, monday, happily went down to training. not so happy when i got demoted. but what to do. no choice. bo pian. i was like running, seeing the others 'overtake' me. have to get used to it i guess. why did i have to suffer this. i knew i wasn't ready. yet i still did those superman sets. damn. should've done 10x400m at 1.40 pace first rather than start chiong-ing at 1.20 pace. start slow nav, start slow. i remember what my doc said. "there's this controversy. they say that as athletes, you are to push your limits. but they also say that you should know your limits (as in the sense that pushing your limits will injure you)."

okay now, the reason why i'm frustrated, is cause, the pain is coming back. i know. maybe my shin muscles aren't that strong yet. especially coming out cold after my 2 week rest. but i've also worked out why i'm getting this stress. cause of my foot. i should be dorsiflexing instead of plantar flexing. like when i land, i should land dorsiflex. yeah. you understand? go google. i've included a link at the bottom to a resourceful website which has an article on this issue. if any of you guys know any better sites, well, you can just...keep it to yourself.

but anyway, really frustrated. i doubt i'll be going training tomorrow. either because of the pain (cause i have to rest) or cause of a delay at the campfire site where i'm helping out. campfire. everything is in order. except for the fact that we don't know how many schools are coming. but still, no point staring at the dark sky and hope that schools will drop down from the stars. you know what, maybe for the greater good, i may have to skip training. but i really want to go training. i really need to? argh.

the older i get, the more things i will have to leave behind. that's life.

but sometimes you've got to lose to know how to win.

http://www.sportsinjurybulletin.com/archive/tibia-stress-fracture.html

x Nav ran as fast as he could

[[ never look back ]]