was at starbucks earlier on.
"a tall java chip please. wait what? hold on, a tall is a small? shouldn't a tall be a tall?"
i've kinda had it with these fancy euphemisms to just create the impression that you are actually getting value for money. call a book a book. it's a small right? it's the smallest size isn't it? then call it a small. it's all just very confusing. and it's not only starbucks.
i remember when i was a little kid, lighting up with the biggest grin on my face and the littlest thing. and i can't forget those days when i would step up to the front of the counter with a tooth missing in my smile, ordering a happy meal with my mother at the nearest macdonalds for the breakfast. a small orange juice at the side please and thank you. i would gulp down the meal, and start playing with my little hamburglar while sipping on my juice. SMALL juice.
10 years later, and apparently "i'm lovin' it" at macdonalds. i'm there again, ordering a huge burger, knowing that it'll probably fill up my black hole of a stomach for an hour or so and also clogging my arteries along the way. "...yeah, and with a small coke. what? no small coke? i don't get what you mean?"
i must've missed the news. small was changed to regular in macdonalds. but in years to come, mcdonalds would change that regular back to small and tell you that that there's no such thing as a large milo. in other areas, a small was a regular, a regular was a medium, a medium was a large, and anything larger than that had to be shipped in from america. it didn't stop there. people then said there wasn't such thing as a small. some even said there was no such thing as a medium. so there was only a small and a large. might as well call it a 'small' and 'big'.
then there's the 7-11's Big Gulp fiasco. there's gulp. then big gulp, and super big gulp. so at that time, it was assumed that gulp was small, big gulp was medium and then super big gulp was large. but people argued that big gulp had the word 'big' in it, thus it should be large. and super big gulp, cause it had 'super' which meant extra or something, meant that it was extra large. so there wasn't a medium? then came an even smaller gulp if i'm not wrong? so is that a extra small? i'm confused. how many sizes are there?
do we really need to be bombarded by all these confusion over something so trivial? and plus, i hate those euphemisms like i said earlier. small became tall. large became grande. i wonder who's feeling so insecure about drinking a small frappe. have we really grown to such extent that we need to feel better by the size of the drink we're drinking from? what, does ego act in direct accordance with the size of the drink? that's a pretty sad. if that's the case, i wonder how those people who drink vitagen feel about themselves. and does that mean people who drink straight from those 2-litre milk bottle really are a pain in the ass. must be. i am.
then anyway, you know at starbucks. they sometimes ask for your name. well, they do when there's a whole load of people. so they can keep track or something. i like to make myself not feel obliged to give my real name. so i just come up with a name. you know, something like raja, or joeseph, or craig. heck, sometimes i don't even give them a proper name. i always like to mess with them a bit. like you know, something like 'batman'. or 'superman'. imagine a barista, in the middle of his/her busy shift. her hair's all messed up. her mascara is off the line. and then she looks up to see who's drink it is. "i have a frappe for Batman". and then everyone will just look at you. and you just play it off by grinning a bit and walking away suavely.
or if i'm feeling in a bad mood, (like after realising your mother wasn't as good as i thought she would be), i just give them a weird name and make them wish they never asked for my name. "Alejandrinajolie".
