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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Seoul Garden

Seoul Garden
Monday
Feeling: tired...

hmmm today went to makan seoul garden wif teck teck and frenz...come to think of it, this is the 1st official outing we ever had after being in the same class for 2+ yrs yeah? teck teck...wenjie...alan...keong...zhen xiang, yang long, zhi guan and i.

we had a really good time together...we took photos, ate like mad, scooped ice cream as though it was free...made coke floats...etc etc...hehe. bui tahan...teck teck they all use my camera tou1 pai1 mei3 mei3 de pics...so sia sway...and worse of all - they seemed to notice! damn! we were lucky we didnt get beaten up by the guys who accompanied them man! hahaha. but oh well, lifes only more exciting wif some dangers once in a while aint it...wad matters most is we had fun? hahaha. not very good thing to do though i must say. hee. neways, i eat til my tummy is bloated...shall skip dinner. hehehe. after that we went walk walk...i bought a set of dart tails for the spoilt dart i have at home...it didnt have the tail so it couldn't fly...gonna try out the tails after blogging...hehehe. if all goes well, i can play dart at home le! hehehe. maybe i'll paste someone's pic on it. better dont let it be u. KEKEKE.

went back to co...tried calling up downtown east to book chatlet...apparently, it seems like the people had knocked off le...so i think i shall try again tml...i cant let the vouchers 5th aunt gave me go to waste! =D if all goes well, we only need to pay for the BBQ food de $$ only! hehehe. this will be a great chance to pull everyone closer together...i hope =D

on my way home i successfully finished reading Aliens: Genocide. somehow, it seems, my hunger for reading has made me sit all the way to hougang central's library. i searched desperately for the next aliens book i could find. i was disappointed though, cos i didnt find any. why am i so siao abt reading books lately? it wasnt something good...it made my head spin all the time...gave me a couple of headaches now and den...but why am i enjoying reading? hahaha. im wierd! but i guess, other then the interesting storyline, the most important part of reading in my life is that it keeps me from thinking abt things...which i dont wanna think, but cant help thinking... so, but, i decided to borrow another book so it wont be a wasted trip...i found a book called goliath...interesting. its abt some high tech submarine the shape of a giant stingray being hijacked or something...i shall read it tml.

came home and chatted with a couple of frens...not a very happy night for some of us though. anyways, i wasnt affected by what was said...but...i dont wanna tok abt it lah...jus hope my fren is strong enough to overcome whatever emotional struggle she's facing...noe she can do it. haiz. wad abt myself? oh well, i haven thought much since i had been drowning myself in gundam and books to numb my thoughts. it seems to be working. now i not only thought less of her...in fact, i dont even give a shit anymore! yay! im finally free from whatever shit ass thingy that troubled me a couple of days b4...i dont know if this is good or bad...or whatever impression i gave those reading this blog lah...but...to me...being cheerful is the most important lor. and my not thinking abt it has definitely made me more cheerful den b4...to me, thats all that matters...its not that i give up easily or wad lah...but...its more like...no point thinking la...sigh...

anyway! tml ah gong going china...i wanna song him! but i will end up late for class. shEeZz...guess i'll long pang car to tiong bahru and bid him yi lu shun feng...den go sch...hehehe. i go sleep le...nite!

potato
1:05 AM

Monday, September 27, 2004

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday!!!
Sunday
Feeling: Very Cheerful! + abit of annoyed

hahaha you must be wondering how ican be cheerful and annoyed at the same time ya? actually the only part im annoyed is the dinner yong han bought for me la...kinda...sucks...the 'liao'...abit er xin...wanted to puke...but damn hungry...bo bianz. hahaha. nvr haf lunch today...cos i was sleeping throughtout the whole afternoon...nvr go for the braddell heights performance either...hehe.

nothing much to say about today if i never link it to activities that happened yesterday ;) so here goes!

woke up at 10-11 +...sheEz tiredZ! but oh well...went online first...saw andrea and QT...chatted abit wif both of them...seems like QT is busy wif something and she said she'll tok again later. oh well...andrea was busy too...doing report...but she still entertained her bored kor - ME abit. hehehe. cos i had nothing better to do, she DECIDED to UTILISE my time a little...by helping her look for some structural formula thingy...alright...i agreed...bo liao anyway. hahaha. QT returned frm her stuff and we chatted a lil' until she went to watch tv at 12. so i slacked my time away until 12.40 likedat den started preparing to go out. i'll be meeting andrea in ard an hour for makan and slack. cos i be going to my ah mah house...den too early go not many youngsters there will be sianz mah...hahaha.

took 83...DAMn i alighted at the wrong bus stop! cos i was reading aliens novel and i thought i nearly missed the stop...kinda kan jeong so alighted nvr really see the surroundings. hahaha. i looked ard - - WAD THE!!! some 500M away from my location, is the temporary HOLY INNOCENTS HIGH SCHOOL!!! wahaha...i've nvr been there b4 man...the old building had been demolished some time now...sigh...kinda regret nvr take pics of it...thats where i spent a good old torturing 4 years! its a place where i learnt the ropes of life...but...now all that is left of the building is nothing but mud and scraps of wood, metal, whatever...but its ok...the school is still in its once ever-glorious state - in my mind...thats all that matters...memories... hahaha. cos i was meeting drea, decided i will not go into the sch for a peek...so waited for 83 again...

somehow i managed to walk my way to her house there...den we went to punggol plaza...whatever that place is called la, wanted to go food court...but...wah lau so crowded...so went other places...had no idea where we'll go so jus let andrea take the point...afterall, if she gets lost here, i really dont know what i should say. hahaha. as usual, lots of funny things happen when im with her. DAMN we walked in some kinda wierd wierd place lor! had a small indianna jones adventure - we stroded by hives of unsuspecting giant ants...we climbed great railings and steep slopes...we waded through tall grass as high as the sole of my slippers...wow...and the most impressive of all! we had to pass a small gushing stream of drain water wif its banks so far apart i had to spread my whole leg jus to cross it! wow! my english had definitely improved. =D hahaha. lAME!!! and here we are at our destination - riverville mall! haha. went to eat burgerking...reminded me of the good old days...and that girl who played rhythmn wif me. hahaha.

we spent some good 2-3 hours there...i brought my camera so we took some pictures...WAH PIANG she pulled my smiley repeatedly JUST FOR FUN lor!!! BISH!!! jus bought it man! den she pull and pull...until the head portion abit spoil spoil likedat. GRRrRRr...baka! hahaha. but oh well, im not in the least offended...jus made me thought of wad ah keong would do if he saw my smiley...im sure it wont be jus pulling or squeezing lor...i dont even wanna think abt it! hahaha. anyways she was playing with it...trying to make it bounce or soemthing. hahaha. so funny. i guess this is where me and her are alike at times...she gifs me the feeling that she has the 'natural child' ego state studied in organisation management...which...is also the same as me...natural child. hahaha. maybe thats y we kinda get along? hahaha. playing wif the camera was fun too...tricked her into pressing the remote control...den the shuttle captured her pic! wahaha! she looked so funny lor! like a very bored person watching tv and pressing the remote...hoping for some interesting programme on the channel...hahaha! so funny. and so, we continued taking pics...she took sneak shots of me...and i took sneak shots of her too...and took a couple of pics together too...fun! she bery photogenic...looks quite nice on photo...hahaha. i also starting to look better on photos...hehehe. *puke puke? =p* oh well some time ard 4 her phone rang her mom asked her to go home le...so we took bus back and i went to my grandma's place. it was raining...but her mom brought an umbrella for her...so i thought it'll be ok if i left first...afterall, i think its better her mom dont see me...cos i looked kinda like bad boy that day...hahaha...it didnt really matter la...but...oh well. dunno. hahaha

yeah had lots of fun wif my cousins too...we took lots of pics...shufen jie jie's kid is soooooooooooooooooooo gei yan lor! he's barely 2 yrs old...den...i took photos of him! he posed for me sia!!! wad the!!! so funny. but - thats not all!!! after a couple of shots, he sort of became bored and said 'mai liao' (means dont want le) den turned to makan. i was like (O_O) WAD THE ?!?!?!?! ur barely 2 yrs old and ur soooooo smart already?!!?!?! holy sh*t!!! wad milk powder do kids take these days?!!?! wahaha...bui tahan sia!!! cute little brat...im impressed! hehehe. took more pics...xiao gu gu said i looked more mature le...haha. x_X oh yeah...was the first time i took pics wif amanda too...we took pics b4 in the past too. but always in a group. first time take wif her alone...hehe. last time when i lived in balestier, she was the cousin i doted most on...played hello kitty together?!!?! wahahaha...the good old days. now that she's grown up, we toked less le...but we still got along...dai dee and all that. hahaha. wei, if ur reading this, amanda, im wondering why you're still single! ur quite cute and pretty mah...shouldn't have problems making bois crash into lamp posts if u winked an eye at em! kekeke. add oil wor...in ur studies... =D well took pics wif andy too...and geraldine...and colin and alan and ben and everyone else...hehe.

the cake cutting session is really nice...a really warm family scene! everyone is singing and having fun...ah mah is in the middle...surrounded by well over 20-30 kids and her children and her grandchildren! wow... very re nao wor!!! hehehe i wanna have a family like that in future too!!! hehehe. took a couple of video clips..shall get QT to help me link them together nxt month! hehehe. although i cant bear to...but, i had to leave for NJ's chatlet cos it was getting late...

shit. i didnt noe how to get to coastal sands pasir ris...i haven been there b4!!! hehe. so in the end, yinzhi, desmond, sze hui and evelyn came out to fetch me from downtown east...hehehe. we jus went into the chatlet a while nia, den set off to a kopitiam to meet beng and frenz...had a big cup of beer there...i didnt noe why...maybe it was due to reaction with the food i ate earlier...that one cup which i 'da' made me feel quite high...hahaha...so as we went back to the chatlet...we were all noisy and all...hahaha. den went to play bowling! challenged weiqiang...whoever lost would have to do the push-ups depending on the difference in scores! the first round, i played like shit...so ended up have to do 46. i managed 31 in one shot...but my hands were numb le...so the last 15 i owe him first. hehehe. the 2nd round! cos my hands were numb, my control over tha ball became worse...BUT! that made me play even better!!! wahaha. wierd hor? in the end i won WQ by 17! hehehe. so sucks. i could have made him do more! i had 4-5 shots where 9 pins came down in the first shot! but i missed the spare! hahaha. but nvm...was quite a good experience :D they said i could be national bowler =.= lol. lamez. hehe. 117...still short of 2...my personal high...only 119 nia. sadz. hehe. amanda...time to teach me some of those techniques u and ur bro learnt le...hehehe.

oh well at chatlet played winning 11 wif beng...hmmm...i managed to play wif him until golden goal and penalty shootout...oh well, hmmm...he was good...but...yang and yuanpei and ah boi they all were slightly better lah...but...still, i had a tough time trying to score...come to think of it...i didnt even score a single goal sia. hahaha.

after that went to BBQ some chicken wings for makan...drank some nu er hong too. but it was too strong for me to tahan...se i poured it into coke...wow...tastes good =D lol. after abt 1 hour+ of peng kang and all...went in...played games wif alvin...played tekkan...anyhow play...den lost like mad...hahaha. den we played inital D...DaNg everything was jap so we dunno wad shit the menu was trying to say. so we changed to grand turismo instead. so hard to play...but...managed to control the car abit lah...hahaha...dont really got xim wanna play...cos kidna tired and bored. haha. den played dynasty warriours...ShEez...used the female character. HAHAHA! i use female characters way better den male ones...cos their actions are faster, i guess? hahaha... in KOF, when i used MAI, i was unbeatable! lol. even ANdy they all play dunno how long one also lose to me when i first played the game! lol! maybe thats y they abit agitated when they play wif me...cos i always do unexpected things and they were kinda sad...hahaha. anwyays, i anyhow play the game...haha end up is chuan cheng playing the challenge mode using guan Yu...wahaha. Guan Yu damn pro hor...can hit multiple enemies with his Qiang...haha. we had a great time playing that game...and the damn horse threw me off its back the moment i tried to ride it. Damn it. hahaha. so CC played all the way til we left the chatlet...

after that went to makan at pasir ris there...macdonalds...we ahd a good time there too...chatting...laming abt...hahaha. after that den go home liao...den i online a while...saw andrea...had a little chat wif her and sent her the photos...haha. den went to sleep all the way til night time, jus in time to miss half an hour of vertical limit! shEeZz....but i watch finish the show le den come online...haha had a chat wif weiling, QT, victoria and miss turtle...hahaha. yeah...

guess thats abt it...i shall go to sleep le...my hands ache. hehehe.

potato
1:25 AM

Friday, September 24, 2004

The Quest

The Quest
Friday
Feeling: not bad at all!

shEez...slept til 11.15 den wake up sia...den gonna meet CC at 12.40...we took train frm AMK to larvender pei CC make passport...after that went to wisma there the Sony maintainence place...CC gg repair his discman...something wrong with the sound output port i think.

after that we went sakae sushi to makan...first thing i notice: wow! the girl opposite us...wah...ok lah...not bery pretty lah...but...excellent dress sense sia. thus looks bery pretty in that black dress of hers. she was wif a grp of frens...the guy beside her was most probably her bf...yeapz...den we glanced over to the table beside theirs...a group of 5 sec sch gals...oh well, noticed one of them kinda reassembled ling ling a little! hahaha. thought: could that be ling ling's little sis? wahaha...cos she also same as her tall tall and skinny skinny one...den facial features quite close...and the hairstyle was the same too! wahaha...tried to take a pic of hers so we could let ling ling see...but...in the end nvr take lah. hahaha. the food was good man. i liked the potatoes most. wahaha...old time favourite still at the top of the chart :p ate in buffet style...so...i can eat like mad no need care the $$...lol...after eating for one hour, i figured i need a rest. my stomach was full...i shall continue at 5! must make my $$ worth it...so me and CC sat there and chit chat all the way...one very interesting thing: i wanted to test CC abt his knowledge of automation...so i asked him, 'hey, u have any idea how this thing works?' (i pointed to the sushi transporting conveyor system)...before he had the chance to reply, the gal wif good dress sense opposite said 'no idea' !!! me and CC was like (O_O) as we looked at one another!!! waHAHA!!! still shocked at that reply as we stare at one another, i saw, through the corner of my eye, the gal lowering her head...like very paiseh likedat...i bet she thought it was her frens who asked the QN!!! lol...SO FUNNY!!! wahaha...den CC said...'ah heng...i didnt noe u got such charm sia...hahaha...oh yeah...i think she's waiting for your answer...' DUH! wahaha! LAME LAME LAME!!! so i went on ahead telling about the conveyor systems i saw in Factronics...and we discussed more abt how it worked...hahaha. SO NONSENSE lor! this reminds me of the days after o lvl...when Poon, EL, Jiang and i were at riverville mall eating BK after playing CS...we were sitting beside the wall...den theres this wooden thing beside me that stretched throughout the whole wall...i knocked into the wall making a small rhythm to entertain myself...then, there was this table behind us wif a couple of sec sch gals too...one of them sort of 'replied' wif another rhythm! lol! so cute! hahaha. this continued for a few minutes den we stopped...hahaha. MAYBE thats y i like xiao mei mei kind of gals...cos they tend to behave in quite a funny and cute way...hahaha.

so we left SS at 5.30...cos CC was gonna meet his fren. after meeting his fren, we went to look for NJ's Pressie...walked ard orchad finding Mystery Item A (cant tell...cos haven gif him yet. hehehe)...we were at TAKA when we saw Feiyou!!! wahahhaa. so Qiao sia...chit chat for awhile...den go over to wisma to continue our quest! we didnt find wad we set out to find there...so we went over to Plaza Singapura to find the item we were looking for...at world of sports, i saw a really cute 'squeeze me' kinda toy! it was a air freshener shaped in shape of a Smiley toy...hehe. couldn't resist buying it...cos it looks really cute and it has a nice smell...cost me good old $8.50 sia...but think its worth it. (ok i better not let ah keong see it...im sure he'll do something nasty to it. I AM SURE!) hahaha. also saw a damn stylo ADIDAS cap!!! decided to buy one for myself. hehehe. we also bought Mystery Item B for NJ at world of sports...hehe. hope he likes it...after that, we continued our search for Item A...went over to OG...YES YES YES! we found wad we were looking for! other places had them too...but they were either too small or looked damn girlish. this place was perfect! it had the size...and lots of varities too! man! we should've came here right frm the start! wahaha. but nvm lah. quite shiok...when we found the stuff we wanna buy...the 'objective complete' kinda feeling. hahaha. after paying the $$, the cashier gave us a coupon for a free gift...den, it seems like there was an accessory promotion going on as well...a jewellery set was on sale...its really really really really really really beautiful lor!!! i thought! HELL! im gonna get it! for who? for my first GF! yes! im gonna give these jewelleries part by part to the girl i like. hee. very silly of me hor? buying something for a person whom might not even exist...but...oh well...im sure it would have its use someday...i hope...so i bought them and we went to lucky plaza to buy colongue...after buying it den we go home liao...SHeeEz...spent $60 today...CC treated my SS meal...its been awhile since i bought something at such prices...im really bad at controlling my $$ sia...need a GF who can controll me...HAHA! most ppl would dread being controlled...but...im different! i like being controlled...cos that means i would be showered with attention...hahaha. WIERDZ hor...lol...

came home and came online...had a lil' chat wif Victoria, Qiantong and evelyn...SIGH...why the person i hope will come online nvr come? sigh...nvm...i dont wanna pin hopes on some event that will nvr happen anymore...guess i should just stop thinking and do things as i wished like i've always done...

oh yah!!! i think i look not bad in my cap wor! most caps i wore, i looked wierd in them. this one...i look great in it!!! hehehe! that is xpected, aint it? - (prepare ur plastic bags) only good looking ppl look good in good stuff!!! HAHAHA!!! *puke puke* lol...ok i very tired le. go sleep liao. nitey nitez!!!

potato
11:38 PM

QIAN bian er TONG

QIAN bian er TONG
Thursday
Feeling: shitty to the core

congrats, QT!!! u're my 100th frenster fren!!! hahaha...u'll be blessed wif my heng heng aura for 100 days! this is a trial edition, u may feel free to suscribe at $99/mth after ur first 100 days of trial! =.= wad i typing. haha MAd liao...jus added a testi for u...along wif the testis i owed a couple of ppl...sheeEz...been so busy i dont even haf time to read other ppl de blog...finally tml i no need go sch can have a good day of rest...

feeling so stuck up after hearing the news SH had for me...though i didnt show much emotion when she said it, but inside...i feel that...IM DAMN STUPID lor...wad the hell am i doing? feel like a f***ing piece o shit lor. dont even dare to ask ppl out...i think i should just go be a ****ing monk lor. feel so shi bai...@$^(*)%^&(&%($#*%$&...ppl are already asking her out for makan and sending her home liao. wad shit haf i done? nothing! jus a freakin failure...i feel ashamed and wanna bang the wall lor! $^%%@&%&#$#&#$&#$&...why the hell am i like this...why do i not know how to advance properly in my attack??? why do i fall for ppl who obviously dont suit me?!?!?! its...dumb sia...shitty...it always seems as though the odds are against me...either live too damn far - so far i cant think of any xcuses to try send ppl home, or they will already have set their eyes on someone le? it sucks man...i suck man. thats y i think in such a sucky way. wad a failure. ppl like me should rot in hell...

wads more...my co-examination for my FYP should be done by this week! i haven even call up the damn lecturer to confirm a date yet! wad shit am i doing?! and mr tan...haven looked for him either...at this rate, the project's gonna go haywire cos of me! wad the hell am i doing?!?!?! i am a dead piece of shit as far as this FYP is concerned. it was a serious mistake electing me as leader right from the start lor! face the facts, dude. i suck at leading. i wanna be a good leader. it has always been one of my ambitions. but...i know myself. i dont have wad it takes lor. i also dunno y i was elected in the first place. i guess its because no one wanted to carry all the shit load of burden and i seemed like the most-easy-to-bully guy in the team...thats y i was asked to carry most of the weight of this mad ass proj? and cos of my poor expression skills, i tried to reject the post but failed?! wad the heck is this man...lifes are at stake dude!!! my grades are at stake!!! sigh...shit it lah...sigh...

totally demoralised...confidence shattered...mind blank...and talking lots of shitty nonsense...ignored wadever i said earlier...i feel like im such a wierdo. one time u see me happy...hehe here haha there...laming abt...crapping abit...den suddenly i turn into one hell of a volcano...fire erupts out of no where and roars of curses and thundering swears could be heard ever so often...these Aliens novels i've been lately is really kicking in some of those 'ass, shit, bastard, bitch' words into my english dictionary man...whenever im pissed, i'll be throwing these new toys out in a lil' sentence or 2...sigh...im a wierd idiot...life's a b*t*h...f*** her...sadz...

potato
1:00 AM

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Tired... Really Very Tired...

Tired... Really Very Tired...
Wednesday
Feeling: sucks. thinking abt bo liao things againZ

jus return frm grp prac...today is Cc's 21st birthday...grow up le huh? haha...hope all his wishes come true...

apparantly, i misunderstood my spy's words. so...im resuming my attack! and my most doted 007...maybe u can continue helping me dig info again? i will treat u to that round drug u wanted so badly. hahaha. sigh...i dunno if i did the right choice...the thing i did on sunday. dun dare to tok to her man...sigh sigh. wads wrong wif me? i am very gutsy one wad...why now become turtle? almost everytime i see her, she'll be practicing...how to tok to her likedat? i really dunno...and i better find a way to do that man. if not im gonna feel im useless for eternity...den there's something abt that awkward glance exchanged everytime our line of sight meet...sigh...what have i got myself into again...sigh...feeling abit demoralised now...BUT! i wont gif up...unless im given the red card...sigh...i really am not good at this. ZzZz...if only i know how she felt. the actual reason why i said no need to reply...is because im afraid to see the answer...sigh...i must try again on friday. i must awaken that hidden tigger within me!!! ZzZz hope her ans is something encouraging...

oh well, saw qian tong today. its weeks since i last saw her. when i saw her today, dont think she's very well ba? abit shagged shagged look...like gonna collapse anytime likedat. heard that she just recovered from a sickness. well, i wont know. she didnt seem like herself today anyways...cos she nvr use her 'slicing glance'...well, not that im glad or wad lah...she told me later to help her carry her gu zheng...was kinda surprised ya? last time when i offered to help her carry she will say something like 'wad? dont look down on me ok...i dont need ur help!' or something like dat...oh well...didnt probe further for reasons...den in co room she tune her instrument...the conversation we had was kinda strange. hmm. i also dunno wads wrong wif her. BGR prob maybe? oh well...'gals are so hard to understand.'. it seems gals share the same thoughts too - 'guys...what are they thinking?'...shEez...anyway she seemed pretty bored in grp too. kinda envy her...can sit there listen to music...not like us...standing...den...the string so rough...wish i could slack too...maybe i could, if Benjamin decides to stay. he's not bad wor...quite good i'll say...considering he was sight reading...if he becomes committed...i wont have to worry abt bass section anymore for some time to come.

i guess i shall stop my entry here. i only have 5 hours and 57 mins of sleep left...time to runZ...nite nite...

potato
11:23 PM

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Aliens

Aliens
Tuesday
Feeling: not good at all

first to go, my head is spinning like a yoyo...cos i've been reading the novel Aliens: Earth Hive for one whole day now...i cant believe i managed to finish half the book in one afternoon...oh well...who cares anyway. the book is due to return soon...i hate reading...cos they make me feel as though my eyes are gonna pop out of their sockets...but...the storyline's good. i've been a fan of aliens and predator since the day i knew they exsisted. guess thats also why i've been really disappointed in the Aliens series since Aliens 3...aliens ressurection was only average...AVP...sigh...totally disappointment. hope Aliens 5, which is still under production, will be a classic. my favourite is still predator 1 & 2 and aliens 2.

sigh, jus fixed the sound pole back onto the cello an hour or so before coming online...seems pretty short...but...oh well my dad could do magic wif such stuff...never fails to impress me. i tried to play ard a bit...using the equipment and stuff...but seems like i still haf a long long way to go. so, keep it up. drop more soundpoles so i can play ard wif the stuff. nah. jus kidding. not so free. i would rather catch some sleep. lack of sleep lately...

masks. yeah. everybody wears them. the first person who told me this mask thingy was yong ming...a few years back...hmmm...why do ppl wear mask? to protect their true innerself? to decieve? whatever the reasons...i just know that...i feel that wearing a mask is so artificial lor...i dont like that feeling at all... so i try not to wear masks when im wif frens...always xposing that true self of mine. hiding it only when necessary...but...sometimes...being urself isnt good enough lor. there are too many flaws in human nature...and failure to detect, comply and amend them would result in various consequences. sigh. so wads the true me like? i think i'm a brainless idiot who talks without using much brains...i am hyperactive and expects the same from my frens. if not i might get demoralised? maybe, but seldom. im not someone who is good at expressing my thoughts...so i'll end up blurting out some nonsense which is not very relevant to wadever i wanna say..or end up bottling them up. when such emotions are put into text, its a whole new story. im like a tank. thick armour to tahan lots of nonsense. but i got one big canon too. when i shoot, its fatal. those who've seen it in action should noe...for those who haven't, pls, dont try. why am i saying all this? i dont know...i jus feel very moody now...feel that bcos i dont wear these masks, many ppl is like...taking my for granted my light hearted nature...feel...hurt...i dunno...when i send messages, i expect replies...even forwarded messages, i'll be really glad if the person i sent the message to will send one back to me...but...this world doesnt follow the law of conservation: equivalant trade...so...i dunno. guess im jus wasting money wishing everyone good morning or stuff likedat. anyway, im jus waiting for my handphone to beep...to give me a reply to a message which, up to now, i still dont know if sending it was the right choice or not. whatever. right or not, it doesnt matter now. wads said has been said...things wont change. pls...hp...pls...give me an answer! good or bad...whatever! i dont care! i jus wan at least a reply! all this waiting is driving me nuts...dunno how im gonna face da reciever of the sms tml.

heck. im going to sleep now. head's still spinning from all that book reading. good night folks.

potato
10:49 PM

Monday, September 20, 2004

No Topic

To those who I shot in my previous entry, I truly apologise for whatever I said. I know the way I voiced out my complains was wrong...and...extremely offensive...I did not solve anything...but might have instead created more problems...and probably demoralised whoever read it...

I know what's done is done...nothing I do could put out the flame burning within you...I dont blame you all for being angry with me either...but...I still have to apologise and ask for your forgiveness...

potato
5:29 PM

Friday, September 17, 2004

Life Is Viewtiful!!!

Life Is Viewtiful!!!
Thursday (but written on friday actually)
Feeling: eh, nothing special? lalala

oh boy. i think this is the 2nd time im blogging in the morning. the feeling is kinda wierd...hahaha. anyways, now in T14 using com...cos no one in co room...thought i would come blog...dont waste my time there. =p haha.

this entry is for yesterday...so, here goes...

today (yesterday =.=) i got back my system controls test paper! cher told me to write the marks im expecting before i recieve my paper... i didnt study much for it...so i wasnt expecting to do any better den 60%...den he said 'very good!' and handed me my paper... coco, peishi they all recieved their papers first...peishi got 54...and coco 55...i think. their names were called first...it seems that the people with the lower marks would be called first...and the others are called in ascending order, as the marks got higher...my name was the 5th, i think...i was like 'oh siao liao! so early call my name! die lah!!! >.<' den when i looked at my paper...stun dio sia!!!!! 73!!!! wah!!!! so much much much much better den i xpected!!! to think i was only praying for a pass...i actually got A2!!! hehehe! that made me so happy! but of cos, my being the 5th out of the 20 people in class means that the others must be getting super duper high marks...how true! as expected...teck teck got the highest in class...a stunning 92 marks! alvin 91... keong 88... guan 87... jie 85... haha. among us 5 im the lowest...but...i didnt feel sad or anything...cos i know i didnt put in much effort...and im really grateful for such good marks ^-^

after that went for lab...sigh...i forgot to bring my labsheet...so i dunno wad we were doing...was supposed to do a report to be submitted next week i think...den i didnt even noe wad was going on...den the cher left us liao...sigh...dunno wad to do. no paper. ok lor. i took another chair...kiao my ka...and slept! wahaha. slept all the way sia...at least 1 hour of the 2 hours lab...as i was sleeping i think i heard comments like alan asking teck 'u noe how to do or not?' den he replied 'if i noe how to do, i would be sleeping like someone!' DANG. i hear liao...gave out a cold laugh. haha. oh well...its 15% of the whole semester thingy man...wad the HELL am i doing? sigh...think would end up copying from teck teck again...but before that, i will try to do it this weekend! see what i can achieve...nearing the end of the lesson, the cher came back and said we can submit a month later...as the cher is a joker, im not sure he serious not...but...i bo chup...i take it as he serious! den i will haf time to do! hahaha! so next week i shall try and see if i can get the same results as teckz they all...

after that went slack lor...had dinner wif des, guan, engine they all...saw shu pei! haha! so long nvr tok to her le...but oh well, nvr tok much to her either when i saw her cos the first person she di xiao was des...ha, anyway, nothing to do wif me. haha. had chicken rice + beansprout...and...2 cones! muahaha. shiok. 2 cones both eat together...haf to eat fast fast! cos the ice cream will melt de...dont wanna waste! heh...life is VIEWTIFUL! (o_O)

*to those reading my blog, this paragraph is all about games...got too carried away wrote too much le...not interested can skip...HAHAHA!*
reached home at 8.30 liekdat...handed bro my thumb so he can do proj...den went to play VIEWTIFUL JOE! Episode 6 - The Magnificant 5! piang. this stage all bosses one. first it the vampire bat from Episode 1...den the Triceratops from Episode 2...den the Shark from Episode 3...followed by the fake Joe from episode 4...so tough! had a really tough time fighting these bosses man...think they got additional moves and their attack power increase liao...the vampire bat was no kick lah...but i really hated the triceratops though. irritating sia. den after defeating these bosses got an option to powerup joe...but...all the powerup i bought liao! so nothing much to buy...SHIT. cannot save...that means i have to go on playing til i reach a save point...or re-fight all the bosses again! sigh. guess i got no choice...den the episode went on to the boss of the stage...a flaming lion! it looks really like FF8's Ifrit!!! except it carries a shield...the first time i fought was like...Wah! so tough! cos he shoots lots of flaming ball ball and tosses big big boulders across the screen...the boulders were easy to dodge...but dodging the fireballs was impossible! if it was only jumping and squating, no prob...the balls came in a 'SIN WAVE' kind of style! that was only pattern 1...pattern 2 was like...everything came in a straight line. dodge enough le. pattern 3...have to jump...all 3 patterns was like...3 fireballs in a line! den the fireballs came in both frontal and backwards!!! and the patterns keeps changing without warning!!! wah! how to dodge?!?! if i used slow motion, i would still be hit...without slow motion, it was impossible to dodge...cos they were very fast too...and when i finally got close to that idiot, my attacks didnt scratch him a bit! omg! how to fight this kind of monster?!?!?! sigh. finally i discovered the secret...the boulders could take lots of hits...so...i will use 'fast forward' and hit the balls til joe glows red as his speed was so fast he has a flame shield or something...with this shield on, i'm immune to those crazy fireballs! (still vulnerable to boulders though) and...when Joe is glowing, my hit would destroy the boss's glowing flame shield as well...den my normal attacks can hurt him le...his shield was irritating though...keep blocking...so i used Joe's earthquake move + slow motion...den his shield would break quickly and i can attack him more...PHEW...this mad ass is so tough it took me nearly an hour and a half jus to kill him. i thought this was the end lor. killing him...cos it seems like silvia could be rescued after the boss died...but wad the -- a big big evil evil arm grabbed her! omg!!! wad does this mean?!?!?! more bosses to come?!?!?! OH MAN!!! this game is crazy!!! so hard!!! cruel fate has forced me to succumb to yet another challenge!!! sigh...but i can save...AT LAST. hahaha! but i never continue playing after saving...cos i wanna use com...so i can burn jie's discs...

Han has helped me burn 8 out of the 16 discs i had to burn le...so...8 more to go! i think i can finish by tonight...as i burnt the 9th disc, i smelled something toxidic...sheeEZ...wad the hell? i felt as though i was breathing poison! (or is it my nose spoil again? o_O?) well wif that smell, i couldnt last long in front of the pc...so went to sleep after the 9th disc was complete...for the short period that i was online, that canadian girl msg me again...sigh. this is the 4th time le...the first time i was in a bad mood so i nvr tok much to her. 2nd time...she asked me wad she should do...cos she heard a boy likes her...and she kinda like him too i think. den i jus suggested something lah...den she disappear. oh well. the 3rd time she told me the boy didnt like her. den disappeard le. hmp? den this time she said she was nearly mugged. (mug means armed robbery...) said she had cuts and bruises everywhere and was in a state of shock. den said she gtg and disappeared. HMMMMMMMMMp?!?!?!?! kinda...Wierd right? though i had sympathy for her when she said she was mugged blah blah blah...but i thought...i dont even noe her name! =.= and...im not someone who feels comfortable toking to people i've never seen before...the first time she msg me i was like thinking: how would i know if she aint some gay or mad person on the other side of the com? why is she telling me things like that? i dont know...i didnt have her contact in my list either...so everytime is she msg me de...but that doesnt matter...im not at all interested about adding her to my list. but oh well...if she tok, den i entertain a bit lor...no harm done. but i wont tell her anything about me...cos...my 'yi xin' is quite heavy...sigh. think thats a big big prob wif me! i dont trust ppl too much...sometimes even the frens ard me...i will doubt a bit...especially when it comes to BGR, if any secrets are revealed, i will suspect ppl de...this has made a few people unhappy...and im really upset about it...really feel apologetic to the ppl i magligned...but...i guess saying sorry cant undo anything bah...but! i promise i will try to change for the better...will try to learn to trust people more...

anyways, guess thats all for yesterday...guess i'll blog tonight again!

potato
11:17 AM

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Thanks, Mr Lee

Thanks, Mr Lee
Wednesday
Feeling: sleepy

oh well, as usual, i was late for class today...the first lesson was PLC...though the lesson was PLC, i found system controls textbook on almost everyone's table...haha. everyone is working hard for the upcoming test eh...but somehow i got kinda sick of it and didnt wanna study anymore...at least not until the last 5 min before the test...hahaha. after controls, went makan with teckz and frenz...too hungry liao...bui tahan. saw li ling at FC4...wearing so pink...haha...

the test was easier than i expected...at least now im quite confident i'll at least pass...at first i was afraid i'll flunk the test...but oh well, i am a tyko person? hahaha. but seriously, controls is starting to become pretty annoying...electrical and electronics are always the subjects im worst at...hope i can scrape through these subjects man...

yeah ah di came to co today. she played wif my camera a bit...dunno if she got take a self pic anot leh...but i wont be surprised if she did that though...if she did...den maybe i can print out her photo and paste it on my DARTBOARD? HEHEHE j/k... well shes back at the club at last...hope she can come with us to hong kong... for the trip, guess she should work hard ba? heh...

at first, i was thinking...today got no pluck sectional...so was pretty disppointed ya? but...oh well...things did take a turn for the better ard 5-5.30 though...actually, i dont wanna say much abt this issue lah...why is that so? find out in the later part of the entry...

oh well...ah di said she didnt wanna stay for grp...but...somehow, she still ended up staying...im sure it wasnt me who convinced her to stay...not attractive enough x_X...suspect is the liuqin gals she mixed ard wif earlier who managed to convince her to stay huh? dunno...but would like to gif whoever did that some credit...heh...di...so long no come grp...ur skills rusty liao lah...time to put some grease man...come for prac more often...if possible lah, that is...meanwhile...got to restock on lollipop liao...hahaha...

today's da zhu quite shiok...fen yong qian jing...bleh...i was laughed at by CC again for my super action action way of playing my bass (too bad eve and frens...ur backs are facing me so cant see. heh heh heh)...but oh well, im used to it le. hope i would feel so high (no...not that kinda high... drea di di and miss SH i noe wad u r thinking! -_-) in every grp prac...den i will be in a good good mood and play extra well...

i thought i wanna go home by train today so i can 'you-know, you-know'...but i never expected her to pack up so fast and by the time i finished, i believe they were approaching the platform liao...rushed over to train station only to see the train depart...was kinda disappointed...so i walked back so i can take mr Lee's car...at least i would have some company...though abit bad lah...at first say dont want long pang...den end up go back again...but...i guess being slightly thick skinned is better den going home alone...so lonely......

me and cc boarded mr lee's car...we started talking abt co, as usual. but as we approached the gates of SP, the subject changed - - - to ME! oh sheeEZ...i was wondering...ME???? why ME???? but oh well, wont harm listening to wad mr lee has to say... his impression of me was a 'life of the party' kinda guy...i might not be the centre of attraction...but somehow, my hyper personality and me keep being suaned for my height or wadever...somehow...makes everyone around me more cheerful... ... ... i was quite surprised when he said that... he even said i was quite noble! so paiseh...hehe...am i really such a person in everyone's eyes? well, i dont know, but, as long as someone feels that way about me, im very happy le...doesnt matter how everyone else thinks...as long as i got the 'ren tong' of someone i respect...i guess thats enough le...(sounds so naruto...but...oh well =))... he went further on...saying...since im a hyper person, the night should be used for rest...and doing the stuff that i did not do in the afternoon...he feels that im someone who is hyper when im around people during day time...but when im alone...at night...im someone who lets his thoughts run wild...and think about too many unnecessary things... ... ... for the first time, someone actually managed to tell what kind of duel personality i had...i haven told anyone about it...not even EL...or serene...or ah di... ... ... i was kinda shocked to hear mr lee say that...his observation skills...his analysis skills...are really first class. yes. i am that kind of people. guess thats why i can be in a good mood and suddenly go mad...cos my thoughts run wild...especially when im alone...i guess that has also caused me to offend many many people... like mr lee has said...the night should be used for rest and homework...i shouldnt be thinking abt 'you-know-what you-know-what'...cos it'll only make my thoughts run even wilder...let nature take its course...and grab the opportunity as it comes... ... ...

after hearing what mr lee had to say, i suddenly felt enlightened...YES. instead of letting my thoughts venture wildly, i should go to sleep instead....and when morning comes, i can return to my hyper mood...that way, i wont be upset thinking abt silly things...thanx mr lee, you have really helped me a lot by what you said...now i respect you even more...not just as a conductor... ... ... i look forward to letting u see the new hyper-heng in action. u had such high expectations of me...cannot let u down! =)

after thinking about what mr lee has said, i feel that the cause of my mood being terrible lately, is because i think too much. i shall take back whatever i said in the previous blog entries...im back to hyper-heng and no longer anti-social-heng! i guess i jus cant resist my charming frens...with them around, i wanna try to be the cold person i was back then also cannot! i guess...most credit should go to ah di bah...when i was feeling the worse, she tried to break the ice by being lame...i dont wanna 'haha' also cannot! i guess that really helped a lot... ... ... though i didnt tell u when i chat that day, but...i was really grateful for ur enthuiastic replies...the reason why i wanna be cold is bcos no one bothered to reply much when i tried to chat (basically im not good at toking also lah...so cant blame others also)...but ur enthuiastism has really made me doubt what i thought...thats y i dont wanna be tokative today also cannot...haha...thanx drea...u made a difference in my life. really really really glad to haf a wonderful ah di like u... *hug hug* hehe.

oh well, guess i should end my entry here...sleepy...good night!
*let nature take its course...let it do so...!*

potato
1:51 AM

Monday, September 13, 2004

Gundam Seed

Gundam Seed
Sunday
Feeling: okok lor.

woke up at 10 likedat and took a bath...when i finish bathing, my bro has woke up le...gEez...the first thing he did before everything else (including brushing teeth! i think... 8|) was watch gundam seed. DuH...but cant blame him. it is a very nice show. i myself haven start watching the series yet...but...gundams are gundams. they're my fav ;) so i sat down and watch wif him also...though i dunno the entire storyline, but i could catch the part of the story i was watching...sigh...he was watching the last few episodes...which were the most exciting part of the series...lots of fighting action and xplosions...heh...as he watched the last 6 episodes, i forced myself not to watch...cos it'll be a super duper spoiler...oh well. started cloning copy images of the gundam seed series since yesterday. now everything is in place. i jus need to wait for episode 13-15 frm EL =p and say 17 cds? - before i can start burning the discs to watch myself. hmmm.. might end up going to EL's palce to watch after control test? maybe thurs? we shall see...muahaha. oh yah...EL...some of the sub...really cannot make it. i read the words til i wanna puke sia. geEz... but hell...the show was too nice le...so...i tolerated the horrible subs.

by the time i finished burning, its already 4-5pm...decided to install Easyveep to see what it is like. its exactly like what mr. tan said...i can see the animation and all...its really cool...if i could get that thing for our FYP, i wont need to worry about applications at all! i shall tell my teammates about what i saw...and show them the demonstration i recorded with my digital camera...its really wonderful...though the next headache will be how the Easyveep can work together with the message master...oh well...i think i should show the guys first...den hear what mr. tan has to say...im getting abit worried about the log book...im not good at technical stuff so i gave it to teckz to update the log book...nvr really seen the log book since week 3...though i noe teck teck will do it well, i guess i dont wanna take the chances... sigh, the co-examiner thingy yet to settle man...we'll really need to work on it this coming week...whether or not we can enter innovex...might very well depend on it.

hmmm...yesterday night got one fellow msg me on msn...not on my list...but somehow the email looked familiar...when i asked who he / she was, da person said was an old fren from online pool... heck...i dont really trust ppl from abroad...dont really like toking to them either...but something surprised me though, when he / she (lets assume is a she....cos she sound like gal...nvr bothered to asked anyways.) said she jus wanted to find someone to tok. i tot: WaD? find ME? mad AH? sigh...bad timing she had. i was pissed off wif everything in the world...so i didnt really showed much interest in chatting wif someone i didnt noe. she started off by toking abt hairy pothead (harry potter)...i was totally bored...though i still had to pretend im interested blah blah blah...den she went on to toking abt some show called wad green wing or wad...man...im even more bored. cos i nvr even heard of it. den she said shes 19 (same as me? o_O?) and studying wad egyptian language or wad...MAN that was it. im totally bored...den i remember my bro wanna use com and used that excuse to log off msn...sigh..i felt bad...but...hell. den today was watching gundam seed after studying a bit...she messaged me again...but i in full screen mode so nvr saw her msg...well...but i nvr replied her either...feeling really bad now...but...i have to be tough...the last thing i need is to vent my siansation on someone.

sorry drea...today toking wif me was really boring i guess...but...maybe thats the real me lor...when i dont go 'hehe haha' like a clown...boring and sound kinda monotone right...? somehow, i feel more mature being more silent and stuff...maybe wad i really wanted is to grow up more? im not sure myself. i have to face the lonliness inside me...maybe this is the only way to do it. maybe the nxt time u see me, im a changed person already...sigh...

potato
1:02 AM

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Zone Of The Enders: The 2nd Runner

Zone Of The Enders: The 2nd Runner
Saturday
Feeling: damn freaking vexed

phew...woke up at 11am today...obviously slept xtra late due to the fact that i slept at 3 last night.

went to try the game Viewtiful Joe...haha...very lame...the main guy and his gal got captured into a movie when they are watching a superhero movie...the evil villian captured his gal while an uncle uncle superhero wif a big beer belly 'trained' the young man...den he got super powers like super strength and superspeed or slow motion...very nonsense game...when the hero strike a pose all the enemy on the screen xplodes and dies. lame-sation...anyway, that game had quite a lot of entertainment value and has puzzles which are quite challenging...even on normal mode. quite a nice game...should try, u guys wif PS2...

anyways, spent the rest of my day burning gundam seed vcds and most of my time on the bloggy. lucas and andrea had some obvious complaints about my word colour... but the background made it really difficult to put a nice colour while making the words visable...so i decided to change the whole thing altogether...thought i wanna put robots...so i searched for Xenogears and The Zone Of Enders...so...here i am, putting a background of the robot Jehuty...spent lots of time trying to make the picture to size wif a display settings of 1024 x 768... this caused my pic to become slightly deformed...but at least jehuty kept his shape...only skinnier than before... this was all i achieved so far...managed to get rid of the bottom scrollbar...gonna find ways to remove the side scrollbars too...but that will need time...i guess. shall put my taggy on first...the other stuff can wait.

hmmm reading through everyones blog...seems like i haf made someone quite unhappy...again. i admit im in the wrong...hope u will forgive me? i have no idea how u got to see that sms i sent to SH...but when i saw wad SH mentioned in the msg she sent to me, the first person i could think of was u lor...cos i thought SH wont read my blog and u r the person closest to her...and the fact that i told u THAT THAT thing...so its actually quite natural for me to think that way isnt it? though i know its wrong of me to make such assumptions...but...if u were me, would u not think that way? still, i cant blame u for being angry at me...and i seek ur forgiveness...its high time i stop thinking abt THAT THAT thing anyway. its making me so vexed and the time wasted can be spent on things much more meaningful...and i keep making irrational decisions and conversations due to it...im really getting sick of it lor. its time to climb out of a pit that leads to nowhere. someone, drop me the damn rope. im getting out for good.

im really getting sick of talking to ppl...cos basically i have nothing to say to anyone...and i keep saying the wrong things at the wrong time...mabe i should jus shut the hell up like i used to back in the sec sch days...its not gonna be easy to become a bo chup and cold guy like last time...especially since im now very much the opposite of that personality...but...IF becoming isolated again can ease myself of such pains...i gladly will. im really getting sick of sending sms and no one replies. trying to chat but nothing to say. the desire of wanting to tok to people but dont dare, or dont feel like. im really getting sick of socialising lor...cos im basically not a person whos good at toking...and thinking before i speak. it sucks lor...so...might as well dont tok at all? right? i dunno how u guys feel abt me but...i feel that im quite a loser in this field lor. i try to attract attention in the wrong way all the time...pulling ponytails...suaning ppl...i dont like doing such things lor. and those people who kena dont like me doing it either. so why waste my effort? i might as well leave them alone...and save my own energy.

from now on, i shall try to change. dont anyone stop me. i had enough of trying to be the mr frenly alredi lor. its time to let me be mr. antisocial. as the saying goes: life's a bitch. F*ck her. maybe the first thing i should to for a change is to stop coming to CO room everyday lor. and i should pioritise my studies - like wad all the others are doing. no point trying to be active in co when the others only care abt their studies and dont gif a shit abt the room at all, right? dont tok abt year 1s. how many year 2s actually go down there and slack the hell of the afternoon away, toking...makan together...doing stuff together...going home at 6 or 7? maybe its us, the year 3s who go down everyday that got on the wrong side of the boat lor. this world is changing. no studies, no cert. no cert, no job. no job, no money. no money, no nothing. how much is frenship worth? its price-less. time to work hard for my cert. when i got my cert, i got my job. when i haf job, money comes. wif money, frens will come. gals will stick to me like glue. wad the hell? isnt that better? den trying to socialise like a mad idiot - and getting pissed off cos no one is reacting? maybe its high time i zapped myself back to reality lor.

i must be mad tonight, saying such rubbish and worthless paragraphs of shit. im totally pissed off with the world now. to hell wif terrorist or wadever shit man. i am all i care about now.

potato
1:53 AM

Thursday, September 09, 2004

SPCO Forever

SPCO Forever
Wednesday
Feeling: cheerful =)

okok i noe, its a stupid title...but...hey! i kinda like it!!! hahaha. neways, today brought ZG's cello back to sch... had dad re-glue the fingerboard that came off...repairs aint complete though. the strings are too close to the fingerboard...wanted to fix it...but since ZG said he needed the cello...so i brought it back for him lor...now i dont really haf the intention to bring it to my house again...lazy...hehehe...

met CC on bus...went SP together. he take-5 at bus stop...kinda xplains y we were slightly late. haha. before we left, jiachun alighted from his bus and the 3 of us went for the general meeting together.

first thing i did was scan the lecture hall for you-noe-who...hee. *blush* <- (must be mad) neways yeah, everyone was there...all those i classified as M.I.A. ... maybe another main cause for my bad mood was sucky attendance? oh well, today's attendance was excellent. so i was in an excellent mood too! haha. halfway through the meeting, andrea sms me, saying that her mom allowed her to go for co! whoohoo! been so long since i last played kanon wif her. hahaha -> this time, i'll play the melody! muahaha! seems like everything i felt was 'shattered' is slowly gathering and becoming back to a whole... really wish things will stay this way forever...but i guess, there is nothing called forever...

neway, i told weiling and qian tong abt drea...u might wonder...why qian tong? cos they happen to be primary sch mates! wahaha. when i ask her, she was like: 'huh? who was that?' blah blah blah...den i went on saying "oh, that girl lor...wif curly hair...and LOOKED LIKE A BOY IN PRIMARY SCHOOL...the bery wild that girl..." wahaha (dont scold me lor!!! u said it urself 1...hahaha =x =P) den qian tong was like thinking for 5 seconds or so when she spoke again "OH MY GOD" her eyes were opening big. WAHAHA...drea...u better watch out on wed...wahaha...meanwhile weiling's first reaction was "oh no! that means i cant use her co file anymore!" -_- Duh...wahahaha...drea...ur junior lagi best...i nothing to say...hahaha.

after that had sectional...recieved new scores: Fen Yong Qian Jing...hohoho...nice nice...it seemed quite tough during sectional...cos mr. Lee's demands were kinda high, ya? neway, managed to get most of its rhythms by heart and some of the tougher parts more sou...

den went makan wif pluck section ppl...hmm...2 seats away from her...damn! SOMEONE was blocking the way...weiling...nxt time u noe wad to do right HAHAHA!!! =x j/k...

today benjamin came...thus i had to use SE's bass...i didnt realise in the past practices that...DAMN! the bass's bridge was too high! thus its very painful when i try to press the strings for fingering...cos the gap was larger den usual...and as u noe, the double bass de string is quite thick lor...so...very pain when playing first finger...neways, got used to it when playing fen yong qian jing...cos i was sooooooooooooooooo into the song! damn shiok! got speed...got lots of notes...yeah! i liked fast paced songs! heh heh...this is the first song since dong lie i actually felt so high...not even carmen suite movement 5 made me feel so high...haha. maybe its bcos i was in a happy mood too...hahaha.

i cant believe they were going to play Mandala and Xi Xun Chuan Bian Sai for the SP's A.D.D. lor...was like...PM Lee Hsien Long was xpecting songs of 'Yellow River' standards lor...mandala and xi xun was like...DUH...so far lor! (though invr hear yellow river b4 lah. muahaha =x) was actually xpecting songs like at least Dong Lie...Long Teng Hu Yue...Chun Jie Xi Qu...Fen Yong Qian Jing...this kinda song...those really powerful, impact, hear liao shiok shiok kinda song...though mandala and Xi xun is nice lah, but...still feel the feeling not shiok enuff la. hahaha. anyway is mr lee pick one...so i shall not comment also lah. hahaha.

anyway thats abt it lah, other den meeting and prac, not much stuff to say abt my day le...meeting YL for PLC at 10am tml...wonder how im gonna wake up at 8am...hmmm...dont think need SH to call me in the morning liao...my mom got me an alarm clock that played nice nice alarm tones (it even had rhythm of the rain!!!) and the default volume was like...even the deaf can hear lor! if u put directly beside your ear...hahaha. but abit ah kua for boys...cos the pic is winnie the pooh one =.= teehee. smsed her earlier...said was bored ask if she free to chat notZ... she didnt reply...think she sleep le...hope she replies when she sees the sms tml...if not...oh well. dun wanna think abt it. ha, going to sleep le...good night...!!!

potato
2:14 AM

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Stephanie Sun - Wo Bu Nan Guo

Stephanie Sun - Wo Bu Nan Guo
Tuesday
Feeling: wo you yi dian nan guo...

slept til 12 noon today...sheeZ...tiredz...was wondering if i should go sch today...anyways. started the day off by updating my blog's access to my picture galleries...uploaded lots of photos...killed of nearly 1/10th of my total gallery space available...but...who cares? i haf 100mb to spare...when im done, i'll jus sign up for a new account...den i'll haf another 100mb...ZzZz...

by the time im done, its already 1pm...my dad called to ask if we makan already or not...oh well, im lazy to go out...so i asked him to da bao...sheez...so late liao...by the time i makan finish, might as well dont go sch. will haf to leave at 4++ to meet EL anyways...but after thinking a while, decided i dont wanna go out at all...was in a pissed off mood. lucky EL felt like sleeping and didnt wanna go out also...if not i would feel bad. neways, smsed wif ZG abit...too bad for him...i was pissed off at the time we smsed...and...kinda gaf him a bit of attitude...sorry abt that...maybe i jus got sick of carrying cellos onto buses...dad wasnt very happy abt me bringing cellos home all the time anyway...though he didnt say, i think he had better use for that time he spent repairing cellos lor...sigh...y co de cello always got prob one? didnt maintain properly? oh well...sux...

read a bit of the storybook Aliens: Earthhive...as usual, my hate went spinning after a while...but i didnt stop reading...cos the story was pretty addictive...finally i read til 7.30pm i bui tahan liao...if i continued reading i'll puke.

went buy makan...sigh...no money liao...on way up, bought ice cream...couldn't resist that creamy taste...though i was broke. HA...

ate my food, followed by ice cream...den drank milk...den ate a prune. sigh. ate so many things in one shot. sure kena lau sai one. and true enough, i ran for the toilet an hour or two later. shEeZz...wadever...i cant be bothered...one time is alright...too many times into the night, i would kick a$$. tummy felt better...so...yah...

added the song 'wo bu nan guo' to my blog. might take some time for it to load...but...sigh...guess i've always been a very 'bei guan' person...thus this song suited me right...had always been a loser in this kind of love love things...7 rejections, not including the 3 times when i fell madly in love with someone. both 3 times got deeply hurt...first time took me 8 mths - 1 yr to recover. 2nd time took me 2-3...cos that was when the 3rd kicked in...kinda numbed the feeling abit...and the 3rd took me a year to get over...which i jus recovered from...sigh...the 1st - i learnt... to fight for what i want...cos i didnt speak up how i felt then...thats y things got into a big big misunderstanding and ended sourly. 2nd time - i learnt...not all feelings are to be expressed. being tolerant and controlling my easily jealous nature...is vital...my inability to do then ruined 2 frenships permanently...and 1 stood hanging between normal frenz and being condemened...sigh...3rd time - ...again, i learnt i must express my feelings...cos i didnt told the girl i like back then, i eventually lost her to another guy...when i discovered it was too late...sigh... i hate myself...why do i always screw up? why do i feel so helpless all the time? sianZ...

its been some time i haven seen her online. last nite was looking at my msn contacts who were online...she wasnt there...den....suddenly, i recieved an email from her...was like thinking: wad the? u aint online, yet u sent me an email? sigh...i didnt noe wad that meant. i dun wanna bother either...hope i could see u tml...believe i only haf a major crush on u only though...no feelings involved...jus...wanted to tok...and see u only.

life sucks. whenever i fall for someone, she always seems to be so distant from me...so far...so unreachable...she always had her eyes on someone else...i was never in her list...am i really so unattractive so small so puny she would never set her eyes on me? why does this always happens? when will i finally find someone who likes me...and i like her too? AND WHY THE FARKING HELL HAVE I BEEN BRINGING UP RELATIONSHIP STUFF FOR THE PAST FEW ENTRIES??!?!?! all the more it made me look desperate... WAD THE FARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wad the freaking hell am i thinking?!?!?!?! my fingers jus typed all these stuff on its own! aRghHh... wad the heck...ZzZz...i feel like smashing my computer now. good bye. *hammer hammer hammer*

potato
1:49 AM

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Garfield

Garfield
Monday
Feeling: bored...farked up inside

sheez...woke up at 11.15...realised i was 15min late...i could sleep til anytime before 11...but before i know it, i was late...cos meeting yang long for PLC at 1...i made it 5min before 1...wad a miracle...anyway, did PLC for 1.45hours...didnt archieve much results today...only managed to get the conveyors and the right cylinders moving at the right place and at the right time...didnt manage to get the LED indicator lights on though...

went to co after that...so many ppl there. dunno y. but nvr tok to main comm ppl...cos all i could think abt was food. was damn hungry...nvr eat den left house to do PLC...so went to eat...haiz...they all eat finish liao. so sad. thus i went alone...so patheic hor? forget it lah, im used to it le...sighzzz...neway when i returned, shi min and ruo lan has left liaoz...left lay leng, guan, marleen, beng, his proj team mate, yinzhi, peile and me...kuiyu came shortly and the both of them left...den lay leng said she got test, not performing for some performance i think...that kinda stirred up some unpleasant feelings we had bottled up all this while...was toking abt the attendance prob...sigh...as usual, im not good at xpressing myself...so nobody's really interested in hearing me speak...fine...i dont really care anyway...maybe cos the others were conveying the same message...apparently, they were better speakers den me...so...wadever lah...i dont care...ZzZz...

left at ard 4.15 to meet EL and frenz...they wanna watch garfield...wasnt really interested in the show...think its a damn waste of money. but went to watch anyway...cos cannot pang seh...lucky its only $6.5...my economy lately has been a real pain in the a$$...

the show was...alright lah...dont really find it very entertaining...though got a bit of humour once in a while...but...dont really find it worth the money lor. was reading a friend's blog some days ago...she said she wanna watch this show and put it in her 'must watch' list or something...was thinking 'shEezz...wads so nice abt this show...think its a real waste of money...'...but oh well...maybe i didnt had interest to begin with...so maybe thats y i think it sux lah. but...oh well. i dun care anwyay...wasnt in a good mood lately...

took bus home with lucas, yong ming and EL...played ard wif my camera...took sneak shots and tried to make special effects by moving the camera quickly with the shutter on..had some cool effects...come to think of it, this is the first time i took pics of yong ming, EL and lucas...we've been frens for so long...haven even took a neoprint or something...shEez...i admit...sometimes, my thinking is girlish...i like to keep such memories...of frenz...of time spent together...blah blah blah...oh well...girlish or not, i dont care. i bought the camera for this purpose...so...it shall fulfil its mission! sheez...

sigh...i got loads of things to do...but y am i feeling so bored?! and dont feel like doing any my work?! i noe my mind is occupied wif that empty feeling...that must be the main reason why i have no interest in anything...its like the opposite of a vacuum...its making my mind rejecting everything...except...ya...u noe wad lah...sighz...wad is happening to me!!! sianzation...hope someone can make this feeling go away quickly...haiz haiz...

potato
1:42 AM

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Zhang Hui Mei - Ting Hai

Zhang Hui Mei - Ting Hai
Saturday
Feeling: empty inside

met EL at 10.30 today...was really shagged...slept at 2++ last nite...wake up at 8...gEez...so dead...met him at kovan...den went over to bugis pei him buy his PT prepaid card...den went for my job interview...seems like its quite alright la, the job...jus serving drinks and some light snacks...guess it should be pretty easy...but...oh well, i get lazy ever so often...so...the slacker the job...the lazier i become...sighZz...anyway, i'll only get the reply from that mr. jimmy tang by monday...

after that went to EL's house...was really shagged. slept all the way on train...den went his house play abit of DOOM 3...sigh...though its quite ok lah, the gameplay...but...its dark atmosphere really gave me a big headache...i hate playing games where i cant see properly...cos my eyesight aint good...so...yah...my headache got worse...played until i got killed by some fireball shooting freak...den EL took over... ... ... i watch a while only bui tahan go sleep on his bed liao...haf to wake up at 4 though. cos meeting ZG at yishun mrt...haiz. shaggedZ...relunctantly pulled my body out of EL's place to take bus to yishun...slept all the way from lorang ah-su to yishun interchange...the indian man sitting beside me had a strong indian ascent...but im too shagged to bother abt it le...

after meeting ZG, ah beng and engine, we took a small walk at northpoint and proceeded to take cab to sambawang park for bbq organised by ling ling and her frenz...so it was like...i dunno ling ling's frenz...ling ling and ah beng...den zg and engine...im the odd one out...that aint so bad at first...but...as night fell...engine and ZG were sitting by the beach...looking into the sea...blah blah blah...basically...that was something i really wanted to do...if i had a girlfren...was like feeling...haiz, sianzation...but lucky beng wasnt toking to ling ling then so we toked abt some small small stuff...at least it kept me entertained...kept me from thinking abt bo liao stuff. den bbq halfway malaysia side seemed to haf fireworks...den the 2 couples was like...watching together...blah blah blah...u noe? the kinda sweet sweet feeling that kidna thingy...GeEz...that was total sianzation for me too...i watched for a while...den was like...fark...this is annoying...was kinda pissed off by the strong feeling of jealousy...decided...forget it...i'll get back to bbq to keep my mind off this as well...2 things tat i wished so much to do wif the gal i like...but...sigh...this always happens...im so close to being wif the girl i like...but last minute i'll screw up...3 times liao lor...i swear i will not let the 4th girl who gets so close to me escape from me again...really sick of this lonely empty feeling. anyway, concentrated on bbq-ing to stop thinking abt things...yeah! i promoted le...last time i only in charge of applying honey or butter to the food...now i peng kang le! haha...and the quality quite ok...kinda satisfied wif this achievement =)

ard 10.30 likedat we left the place...took bus to sambawang mrt...den took mrt and transferred to bus home...shagged...wanted to reach home a.s.a.p. ... i wanna sleep early!...thus...didnt elaborate much in today's entry... hmmm...seems like i'll be feeling down for quite some time...pls...someone...make me fall head over heels in love wif u so i can fill up this emptiness in my heart!!! guess it wont be easy finding someone i like...xpectations too high? maybe. anyway, the gal i fall for will never fall for me. this always happens. life is sad. im not desperate...not for sex, not for hugs and kisses wadever...jus...desperate for the feeling of sense of belonging...im someone who needs lots of social and emotional support...when no one toks to me...i will go nuts...and as u noe, co used to be such a strong emotional and social support for me...now that its relations network seems to be so falling apart and scattered, my emotional and social support shattered as well...maybe that explains why i've been moody and crazy since year 2...i really need someone to fill up this big big big big hole in my heart...haiz...forwarding sms seems to be a very bo liao act...cos basically, no one bothers to reply...maybe i should stop decieving myself that i could attract other's de attention by forwarding sms...who's attention am i trying to attract anyway? sigh...kinda...sick of such a lifestyle...i dont feel close to anyone any longer...other den EL and poon...i need a gf! this entry is soooooooo contradictory wif the one posted last night...but...heck...i cannot hide my emotions any longer...if not i will go mad. *need serious help...but no church pls. thanx*

potato
1:04 AM

Friday, September 03, 2004

M2M - Don't Say You Love Me

M2M - Don't Say You Love Me
Friday
Feeling: okok...jus bored...looking for ppl to chit chat...

HmMmMmMm...jus came home from grp practice...a bit tired...today practiced my favourite song - dong lie! though quite some time nvr play den abit rusty lah, but...i still danced to the tune! haha seems like only dong lie and feng shou luo gu and those super fast speed song could make me so high...for now...hahaha. today's grp prac was kinda patheic though...ZERO YANG QIN...ZERO LIU QIN...ZERO ZHONG RUAN...only one gao yin ruan and one pipa...den...1 dizi nia...percussion 3...cello 2...bass...ME only...den ard 6++ erhu...haiz...wonder wad everyone is doing...are they really so busy? or they dont feel like coming anymore? of cos, some ppl i noe their reasons lah...but still cant help but wonder wad the year 1s and 2s are doing...wad is siew ping doing? wad is weiling doing? wad is li ling doing? wad is victoria doing? wad is samuel doing? wad is sze hui doing? wad is qian tong doing? wad is shi min doing? wad is yuru doing? wad is kai xian doing? <-- did he come today? i cant remember...hmmm... wad is lifang doing? haiz...seems like...the ONZ kinda feeling teck seng they all, chuan cheng and frens...the feeling we all are putting so much effort into to create...to make everyone onz...got the feeling its abit in vain lor...are we really getting old and haf generation gap? everyday u'll see me, ah beng, zg, yinzhi the few of us come down co room slack...but how many year 1s and year 2s do we actually see? as far as year 1's concerned, i'll say samuel and sze hui are the most active ones. we got so many year 1s...all of which we tried to befriend so much and get them to stay and all...how many actually did the same thing as us? i wont xpect them to come down to co everyday...but...prac? lately i haven seen many coming down lo...maybe its the exams, tests...and the projects...but...its like...yeah, true, its a lot of workload...but...didnt evelyn manage well? she even got into the top 3%! she from business school lor...why she can come down to co room everyday, come slack and chit chat...while the others cannot even jus come down for practice? i haf been really angry wif a few people because of this lor...i dont wanna mention names, but, u noe who u r...even my best frens are doing it lor...as a fren, yeah i really loved them for who they are and all...but, as a fellow orchestra player, i kinda condemn them lor. its jus 2-3 hours lor...cant even sacrifice that small bit of time? u think u can really study that much in that small time frame? not studying for that small amount of time wont fail u right? didnt we do the same? tml got test, haven study, but still come for grp prac anyways...its not we dont pioritise our studies lor...but...its a form of responsibility...though verbally its not compulsary...but...its kinda like...expected lor...this is part of a player's profession...though i also pon tang SPSE's prac lately, but, its like...if i dont wanna go, i'll tell them straight in the face lor. nothing to scared wad...in fact, if i get my job (see below), i really got no choice but to tell them that lor...but i will never let my job affect my co practices...i will make sure co is still my top piority. as a year 3, i haf adopted an 'isolation' point of view with matters regarding how the co committe works...but...how can i tolerate a grp prac likedat? this is the most most patheic grp prac i ever seen lor. not even the braddell heights symphony orchestra, which i kinda condemn for their sucky attendance, is as sucky as this lor. i dont wanna say such stuff to the committee...neither will i blame them...cos i noe they are doing their best and are doing a good job. but...im still angry over this attendance issue lor...its like...its such a pain lor...and u dunno how to get rid of it...this prob...this is unlike having meat stuck in my braces...when i need water or a toothpick to 'shuang'...i dont even noe the solution to this prob...sigh sigh...teck seng ah teck seng...wad is wrong? can u guide us? oh well...guess u cant...this is a problem we haf to settle on our own...and as i've mentioned ever so many times, i dunno how to express myself properly in real life...so...i hope those who read this blog will understand and try to do something about it...

btw, i dont bully ppl cos i wanna bully them lor. its like...my way of trying to get closer? maybe its misunderstood by many as ungentlemen and all...but...how else can i get closer to ur true self without expressing my true self? i dont like being fake...hypocritical...and all. cos i've had enough of that as a waiter...u want me to be gentlemen? sure, i can be the number gentlemen u gals wanted ever so badly. but...will i be sincere? thats another thing. if im ever gentlemen to anyone, den its a fake me u're seeing. of cos, i will put on that fake mask when i first tok to ppl...but as time goes by, i will slowly remove that mask...and...when u see the true and ungentlemen me, thats when u noe u r closest to me...thats when i really really regard u as a fren...and expect the same from u. why am i saying this? i duno. jus felt like writing, so i wrote lor.

anyway, prac might suck, but, guess the rest of they day still oki oki la... the human resource from raffles hotel gave me a ring...seems like they need a waiter...if i nvr hear wrong, i should be getting 1k for working every weekday (xecpt wed) 6 - 11 and weekends 11 - 9...or something likedat...anyway, will be going down for an interview tml at noon...maybe will be meeting EL...not confirm yet. guess working could earn me some allowance for the hong kong trip...hope i get the job...sigh...i bet my parents are gonna object if i tell them now. wait til i get the job...den i'll tell them...HAHA...not very respectful of their opinions...but...sometimes, action has to be done before consultation for things to work ya noe? so...yeah...hahaha. anyway, working could get my mind off lots of things...especially those which i wanna run away from or those i dunno the ans to...though its cowardly to run...but...wad could one achieve by brainstorming and worrying abt things u cannot do anything abt? i shall use that time to work...and let other stuff go smoothly along wif the course of time...

i was walking towards co room when i saw this girl in blue...wearing specs...slightly curly hair...walking towards me...and keep looking at me...i thought...wad the heck? but...she kept looking...OH YEAH she looked familiar...i think i noe who she is...but...i dont think i wanna call her out...in case i see wrongly...den as i walked pass her, i stopped in my tracks...cos she also stopped and was like glaring at me?! den she exclaimed: 'oei!' wahaha yeah yeah yeah...thats andrea...still as CUTE as before eh...kekeke. such a strange way and strange palce to meet...in front of security booth near mrt...in the middle of the road somemore. wahaha. oh well, who cares if we're affecting the flow of traffic right. hahaha. so we stood there and started chatting --> o_O lol. seems like she's still having some flu...glad that ur cough and sore throat is better le...silly girl. haha. pls, pls, andrea...pls, abort that idea of taking my blood...though its an HONOUR, a GREAT PLEASURE to be ur number 5th guneiea pig...but...i shall admit...THAT IM A COWARD...THAT IM AFRAID OF NEEDLES!!! though i managed to muster enough courage to donate blood...but...I STILL HATE NEEDLES!!!! >.< *<-- no acting cute!!!* GeEz...guess bo bianz lah. promise u liao...haf to be ur sacrificial being...sob sob sob. *<-- no acting cute!!!* haha, kinda miss the good old days when we took train together everyday...chit chat til 3-4am...i'll let u in on something which u might not noe...or maybe u do noe...but didnt say...that...at that time,

I LIKED U

feeling shocked? like the whole world has collapsed? that ur feeling a thousand swords has been pierced into ur heart? that this is the end of the world? wahaha. anyway, decided to say cos i really dont wanna keep this secret anymore. felt that its something u should noe...though now there's no such feelings, but, i feel that if i dont say it, it will be a knot tied forever in my heart...BUT...dont ask me more about this! i shall not reply any messages that are sent regarding this! pretend u nvr see it :p now we are really kor and di liao... ^-^

gEez...mad le...dont write liao...nightz...
oh ya, think i kan kai le...now i jus wanna earn money for HK trip and foster closer bonds wif the others...no more other nonsense...time to seal my heart from such emotions thingy le...

potato
11:35 PM

Thursday, September 02, 2004

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
Wednesday
Feeling: ok-ok lor...

sigh, today's PLC test was a total flop. i didnt manage to finish in time...watched in vain as nearly 20 marks flew off as i handed in my test paper unwillingly. that totally ruined my mood for the day.

went to co after that...the first thing i did? look ard. sigh, nvr see her. oh well...kinda expected that (i think she told me last week she wont be coming...but im not sure...dont remember very well). sheeZ...that ruined my mood more. took out my bass lazily and kinda...unwillingly. as i UNDRESSED --> o_O my double bass, marleen was like asking me not to practice in front of her. wad la...who wanna prac in front of her...was jus preparing my bass...sheeZ...den sze hui came in...oh well, saw her before entering co room...she's having this glum look on her face...wonder wads wrong wif her...cos she usually haf a cheerful face hanging on her face all the time one. asked her...apparently, shes not interested in saying...so, let her be lor.

haiz, recieved new scores...sux...long time no play bass liao...was like...so unnatural...playing those songs...like bery offtune, off tempo and the sound i played was far from soothing...sianzation. anyway, got new tempo...so mr lee taught me a thing or 2...oh well, kinda appreciated that...the first song, di tanjong katong (wadever, i dont care how u spell it) was like...so sucky. fast speed + lots of notes...sigh...hate that. the 2nd one was an indian song...no kick...so mr lee released me early to makan...cos i was hungry...and kinda pissed off that the others went to eat without waiting for me ... at least thats wad i thought before i met them outside...seems like they haven left yet...haha that brightened my mood a little...

actually today my ah mah was gonna bring us go outside eat good stuff...but...cos...i wanted to see her...i know the chances of catching her in grp was small...but...i guess i dont wanna take the risk that she might be here and im not...so...i rejected my grandma...and stayed for grp, though i didnt feel like staying...in the hopes that she'll come for grp...dont wanna miss a thing...

so went to makan...cos my mood was horrible...so i bery guai lan...weiqiang queued with me a waffletown...kinda like suan him (and offend him abit...very sorry weiqiang...bear wif me...sorry for whacking ur butt so hard when going home too...my terrible mood at work.) all the way...i know im offending ppl...but...its jus my mood...i couldn't help it...good thing i managed to control abit and made it look like i was joking...so he also joke ard wif me...but inside i was like...haiz...sianz...cc saw me kinda sianz...he asked y i sianz...but i dont wanna tell him why...so i jus said im tired...blah blah blah...yinzhi ah yinzhi, y i feeling likedat? isnt it jus supposed to be a crush? maybe i've fell too deep into the pit...but at the wrong time...not sou wif ppl den fall so deep...im in deep shit liao...drop me a rope!!! anyway, will try to control a bit...but...she haven been online lately...kinda...going nuts liaoz X_x...i should sleep more in co room to avoid offending ppl...

the cck ppl were here to celebrate teachers day wif mr lee...HUI TING was here...celia was here...EVELYN was here...sigh...seems like things are still in a bad shape...didnt tok to hui ting at all...tok to evelyn a bit...basically only one or 2 sentences nia...that she wanted me to pass a cd back to EL...thats all...dont mention celia...i nvr even tok to her b4...sigh...seems like some things can nvr be forgotten...but at least im trying to make some effort toking to them again...if they treat me as normal frenz again, i would be very happy liao...but...oh well...nvm...nvr tok much to them also bcos of my mood...dont wanna end up offending them again...

throughtout combine i was pulling a long face. i was tired. my legs hurt. my fingers hurt. i was feeling farked up. i had no mood to count tempo. basically, i was just like a zombie there...jus playing the notes when i see them and not even bothering to add any dose of emotion into my music...even a simple song like xi xun chuan bian sai i play until like shit likedat sigh. this is one of the most sucky combine of the year. and to think tml there's SE and on friday prac again...i really dont feel like going for both man...but i'll still be back in sch (though i got no lessons at all) hoping i wont miss her...sheeZ...

after combine asked SH asked if i wan her to go home together anot...den i asked cc if hes gonna take 74...he's gonna take cher's car...and asked me if i wanna take cher's car also...kinda caught in a dilemma...to go wif cc? or to go wif SH? after considering how farked up i was feeling, i thought it would be a better choice to go wif SH...cos at least she's someone i could tok to without offending her (though its the same for cc...but on cher's car...i dont wanna tok to cc abt my personal life in front of mr lee...)...sigh...aroused some gossip again. that ah beng was trying to be funny...but...heck...im in no mood to bother abt him...

on bus she told me why she's pulling a long face in the afternoon...and toked abt lots of stuff...i felt like telling her why i was pissed off too...but i guess dun wanna let her noe how im truly feeling...so i jus said i was sianz blah blah blah...sorry, for not telling u...though u r my v gd gd fren...jus dun like xpressing my true feelings face to face...i would prefer writing them in text...and having u guys read how i truly feel here...when reach NP there she gg alight liao. thought that the time was rather late...not v safe...so i sent her home. though i nvr tell u much abt my day, but toking to u abt music and co was making my mood sorta better already. thanx, sH...

reached home at at 11.40 likedat...so much sooner than i xpected. guess thats something good ba...had a bath and came online to read everyone's blog...watched a flash abt some love story from weiling's blog...somehow, i wasnt touched at all...usually when i see a sad love flash i will also feel abit emotional de...but...this one didnt arouse such feelings within me. i wonder why. oh well...cant be bothered either...

ah di, for the command for this song, i will gif it to u when i see u online. i cant post it in this blog entry...so sorry...

looking forward to friday...hope she'll make her appearance by then...and tok more to me...that way maybe my pissed off feelings will disappear...yinzhi...if she got come...dont di xiao me...or i'll kill u...hahaha.

"PeTeR pAn SaId,
ThinK
oF
a
HaPpY tHoUgHt
so
yOo
can
f/y...
GuEsS wHat?
yOo
mAKE
mE
fLy. Gd morning..
*hugs* (",)"

for ur info...that message u sent me sent me not jus flying...but rocketing...send me more...send me more...that was the only msg u sent to me...i haven deleted it yet...sighX...

tml 8am proj...gg sleep liao...gd night...

potato
2:20 AM

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Yesterday

Yesterday
Tuesday
Feeling: worst den yesterday

the day started real bad...i went to the wrong lab for practical. its supposed to be at T12...i didnt noe. went to W11...no one was there...called alan and finally found out everyone's at T12...sms-ed ZG earlier to ask...he didnt reply...kinda pissed off because of that...i dont blame him, cos his hp got problem...but still, i dunno y, i felt pissed off...but of cos, i bottled up that feeling...cos i thought it was kinda...unreasonable or something...ended up being late for around 20mins...the machine we saw today was cool...could make metalic artifacts wif EXTREME precision...kapo some SP logos from the lab which they fabricated...tried to take a picture of Peishi for Zhen Xiang...came up wif some lame xcuse: "eh peishi! i jus bought a new digi cam, haven took much photos yet, can i take a pic of u?" den she say she not free. muahaha. think she noe wad i up to...but...oh well, too bad, zhen xiang...she rejected....so there goes ur pic. hahaha.

after that went for makan and then to lecture...controls lecture was cancelled...so i had plenty of time to sleep since i makan le...so went to co...slept til 1...den went to lab...damn. the cher came 1 hour late...alan didnt tell us...sigh...i could haf slept longer with that time man...haiz...anyway, drew lots for miniproject...seems like me and yanglong we chose the easiest project...sorting station + master relay...managed to draw out the function chart by 4pm...when we went off.

went co room after that...slacked for a while...den went home together wif SH...met Chan at the bus station...so we 3 took the same bus...nvr tok much to chan though...afterall, im not very close wif my class/lecture mate...so me and SH tok all the way til she alight at NP...den i sat down, the seat was kinda close to chan's...omg...the first thing he asked: 'is she ur galfren?'. sigh. was already kinda bored before that, was even more bored after he said that. didnt bother much...didnt feel like saying anything abt BGR abt myself...so changed topic to him...oh boy, jus as i tried to change the topic, he wanted to alight. MAN! didnt he live in ang mo kio?! he replied: oh thats my GF's house... =.= so the nxt time i saw him in AMK means...HEH HEH HEH...anyway, only gaf him one advise: SAFETY FIRST. haha...those who understood wad i meant, good. those who dont, too bad. hahaha.

slept on the bus. was semi awake as i reached AMK station...fell asleep unawaringly...when i woke up, the bus was at xinmin there...1 bus stop after the bus stop i was supposed to alight...when i noticed that, the bus started moving again. tmd...ended up walking 2 bus stops home. saw eggs on sale on my way home...called my mom asked if she would like to buy some for my ah mah...afterall, it cost 3.50 / box...which is a cheaper 'standard price' for eggs these days...but there's a limit: 2 boxes / purchase.

so, i bought 2 boxes home. 20 eggs. den i rallied support from my brother and took the money mom specially reserved for buying eggs to buy more eggs. went downstairs...my bro and i took turns to buy 20 eggs at a time...by the time we left, i was carrying 140 eggs. in my hands...including the 20 i haf at home, alrogehter there are 160 eggs. 80 bought by my bro, 80 by me. there was a silent competition going on. hahaha.

round 2 - this time, i got 80 eggs while han got 60. MUAHAHA i lead by 20! the last 20 eggs was bought by me...the whole box of eggs was empty now, thanx to me and han. hahaha. den i asked mom if she wanted me to buy the $4 per box ones...as she was on her way home, she told me she'll call me later...so we went home carrying the eggs...han said he was caught by the aunty...who asked him: 'do business one ah?' but he bo chup her and bought the egg...he blamed HIS HEIGHT for that...said he was TOO BIG SIZED...EASY TO NOTICE...shrugs...a$$ hole...countered by saying: so wad? u lost to me by 20 eggs...u still lose. so big size still lose. baka. WAHAHA he lan lan and said 'shut up' hahaha. abit rude, but there was a funky tone in his shut up. hahaha.

den a few min later, went to buy eggs again...40 this time. so my end score is 200...leading by 60...HA...kinda bo liao...but...oh well...cant be bothered to care...

for some reason, dont seem to haf very good social relations wif a couple of ppl today...felt kinda sad cos of that...and...she didnt come online tonight...but even if she did, i doubt i would haf anything to say to her...i dunno...i haf the feeling we're not made for each other...thought the horoscopes says that our signs is a wonderful match...blah blah blah...but oh well, i gave up in horoscopes long long ago...she seems to be a quiet person...and i, too, to a certain extend, am quiet too...but shes also abit crazy like me at times too, i think...also a FF7 fan...blah blah blah...but...ARGH forget it! suck it!!! suck it!!! suck it!!! im going to sleep good night.

potato
12:32 AM

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