ONE WEEK

Here we are- the mark I've been waiting to hit for FOUR MONTHS. The mark- one week until I enter the MTC! AHHHH! I am freaking out with excitement, I can't express it. I'm feeling pretty empowered, like I can do anything. After speaking with the stake president in my final interview before I report to the high counsel me going on a mission is actually happening. The time is coming close for me to leave and it's just exciting. It's especially helpful when your stake pres. tells you all these wonderful and spiritual things about you. {Who doesn't like to hear the good others see in you? In a non-selfish way...I secretly love it sometimes.} Because of what he told me I know I will be okay, I'll be protected by my Heavenly Father and angels. Angels like my mom. 

I've realized that even though I'm jealous of those missionaries (everyone) who has their mom here physically to send them off on their mission, has their mom worrying at home for them, etc. I GET MY MOM WITH ME ON MY MISSION. Boo. Ya. How crazy lucky am I?! Pretty darn lucky. After feeling sorry for myself a bit the other day because I realized how weird it will be to say bye to my family without my mom there I just took a look inside me. Who says you can't be happy even when you're sad? There's always something good to find in our lives. In my case, with my sweet momma, I'm sad she's gone but really I'm blessed to know that she's with me in my heart and who knows- maybe she's actually right by me? That means I'll have that constant reminder of her telling me "Keep a happy face." So no worries, world. I gots my momma. She'll help me touch the hearts of the people of Alabama. 

I want to make a difference in the world. Make a mark for good. I'm serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I leave in a week. That's when I'm giving my all to my Father in Heaven, because through Him, I CAN make a mark. And hopefully that mark will bring others closer to Christ.

Picture via Pinterest

MISSING PIECES

Realizing it's the end of the semester...studying for finals, hoping I'll actually pass my classes, knowing I've survived the first year of college...wow. It's been unreal. I've also noticed that I enter the MTC for my mission in just about a month...plus 4 days. But really, who's counting? With all this happening I find myself gravitating to the baby grand piano in the living room hoping that I can get my feelings out by touching the keys. I've had moments of silence just staring at a piece of music with my hands just sitting on the beautiful white keys. I sit and think about how I'm actually going to miss playing the piano. Then I wonder why I always begged my mom to let me quit, why I would cheat myself by changing the timer to a shorter amount of time to practice when mom was in the other room hoping she doesn't hear the sound of the buttons *beep...beep...beep...* No joke though, I did all that and here I am, one year and 5 months after I quit piano because of schedule conflicts, wishing I didn't have to stop playing. A piece of me is missing without music. I find peace in music; I find love; I find inspiration.

Giving up music I love all together is a tough thing for me. I am a true lover of music. I do love church music and stuff but not gonna lie a year and a half of that might get on my nerves. Although, I have to admit that I have grown to appreciate classical music. (Thank you, dad!) On trips we'd listening to that stuff on the road. I'm totally cool with that. I have fond memories of watching all the trees and grass, pastures, people, cities, etc. pass by with Beethoven, Bach playing in the background. {Another confession: sometimes Brett and I would drive around listening to awesome classical music when we were just in that type of mood. He had the best pieces ever!} Really though, it's actually a sacrifice for me to give up Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Youngblood Hawke, Passion Pit, Miike Snow, Vampire Weekend, Coldplay...need I go on? Crazy, right? I didn't really think it would be that big of a deal for me to give up this music until I read in a missionary handbook that if you need to get through something or have alone time then you better figure out a way to sort out what's going on with your companion around rather than turning to listening to music or playing the piano, laying on the couch and staring off, simply sitting alone. GUILTY! Of all those things haha. My way of figuring out how to deal with things instead of doing the list above....doing it as much as I can now. Probably not the most effective buuuuut let's be honest here, if I can't have it for a year and a half (and this is good stuff) then I think I'd rather take advantage of the opportunities I have now. Then again, they'll always be here. My 18 months comes once in a lifetime.

Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest I'm off to study for a history final I have tomorrow...and tickle the ivories a bit! Wish me luck, world!

{A little something to maybe brighten your day}

A CELEBRATION

A celebration is a celebration no matter where you are. If you're just next door or if you're 2,000 miles apart. Today I'm celebrating. It's your birthday. Yup, that's right it's YOUR BIRTHDAY! It's amazing that in this case we are 2,000 miles apart but we can still celebrate the same occasion! You're 19 today and that is such an incredible thing considering you're on your mission in New York, and you've accomplished so much in your lifetime (in my opinion anyway, some may say otherwise), and since I know you so well I am happy to say that you really have done a lot in your 19 years. Have a wonderful Birthday today, my handsome missionary!
Hill and I decided to celebrate early so we could send a little birthday love your way in a package. So, here are a few pictures as a tribute to you from our adventure and a few others:) Happy Birthday, Elder Cloward:) Love you!!

Look how you've grown!

 

WHATEVER YOU DO

I had a great conversation with one of my best friends tonight, she's my twin (not really...we just say we are). We talked about how great of a time we had when we were in high school. How we branched off from our little group of girls for a little bit and found ourselves. It makes you feel so accomplished to realize that you were able to be strong enough to take yourself away from others so that you can find out who you are and be more free. Hillary and I had such a great time in high school together and soon with the "5 Amigos," as we called ourselves, and we reminisced about our memories all together. No joke, we both ended up with tears and hurting stomachs from laughing so hard about all the things we remembered about the crazy things we did! It was the best. Basically she's awesome and it's all smiles with this crazy one! I'm so glad that she and I became so close and found out that it's okay to be yourself...even if it's a little crazy and other people think you're nuts...but what's the fun in being boring and not having adventures to look back on that make you happy? 

Moral of the story is: Whatever you do- be yourself and be happy with you.

HERE'S TO YOU

To my cutie patootie sister Erin....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

 (and Erin you know this blue shade just says birthday to me...and cake...)

I want to dedicate this post to her. Erin has always been my best friend. We grew up wearing matching dresses...she hated it...but I loved it. Getting to be like your big sister is a DREAM to us little ones...especially when you're the baby sister. She has set one of the best examples to me, it was always a quiet example, but has made an impact on me that I cannot deny. I've always loved how crazy she is- the fact that she's not afraid to be herself. She's always quoting movies and making me laugh. And that she's really awesome at school. She owns it! It's so cool. 

Well, sis, you're amazing. Words can't begin to describe who you are. And I am so glad that we are sisters and that we have awesome memories together, and that you're one of my best friends ever. Thanks for the advice you give and the smiles you bring. Keep it comin'!! LOVE YOU!!! :)

Now world...it's time you really get to know her because she's so grand.   

BE GRATEFUL

 

Somewhere my mom is probably hitting her head thinking, "why is Tara NOW getting this? Didn't I teach her at all?" You certainly did, mom. You certainly did.

Today I've just had so much on my mind, it's kinda crazy because I feel like I didn't do a ton...I guess I really didn't. But I did have some conversations with a few people who I really love today that made it seem like I did a lot. Those conversations made the time worth while and seem like so much more to me. B's sister had her baby on Monday and today I went with their mom to see the cute little one. Oh my goodness, he was the cutest little boy ever. Sitting in the hospital holding him, being surrounded by wonderful people, I began to think- It's an amazing opportunity we have to be thankful for our lives, the happiness that comes and sometimes may go. B's sister, even amongst the pain, sat there telling me how she doesn't remember the bad parts of being in labor really, she just remembers how happy she felt and the good times of the whole process. I thought that was phenomenal because, goodness, being in labor doesn't sound like a lot of fun; but I was just so impressed with her positivity and her grateful heart. Today she was an example to me to always be grateful. So, I'm committing myself to find even the tiniest things to be grateful for. 

Why not? It'll make me even HAPPIER. 

TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE

Whoever said "Time is of the essence" really had it comin'. Today I've been thinking back on time...just things that have gone on in my life and those lives around me just within the past two years. I honestly cannot believe that two years have come and gone. That may sound silly but really. Noticing the accomplishments, sorrows, pain, happiness, and grateful hearts of me and my family and friends it's incredible to think of what we have gone through. Time changes events and lives drastically, but it's always for the better. 

Thinking back two years ago I was in my junior year in high school, was struggling to find a balance in my life as I was figuring out what I could do for my sick mama. I remember how my family became so much closer than ever before. I began to realize how important family was to me. It was something I started telling myself I would NEVER take advantage of because they're the ones who will always be with you in the end. Friends can come and go but family stays by your side. But with these past two years we've gained family members, lost our mommy, had graduations, weddings, pregnancies, births, mission calls, sister moving out, better jobs, vacations, traditions continued, responsibility, grateful hearts, a reality of how important an eternal family is, etc. It's amazing what life brings to you. Through all of this we are blessed immensely. Truly the Lord has a plan for each of us. And life does go on...

 Life truly is an adventure. Quite frankly, I love mine so far. Times get tough but there are so many things that I can be grateful for and so happy about. Granted, there are things that I am still working on, but aren't we all? One of my biggest goals this year is to find out more about myself and those around me, and to be happy about what my life offers me. Truly the hymn "Count Your Many Blessings" can be sung each day and can be applied to each of us. "Count your many blessings name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

SEVEN HUNDRED AND THIRTY DAYS AND COUNTING...

Here we go...this is it. I can officially say I am part of the "I'm waiting for my amazing, handsome, special, sweet, kind-hearted, strong, and miracle missionary" club. Don't quote me on that club name. I couldn't be more happy and proud of this sweet guy. Honestly, it would be impossible for me to say how truly amazing this guy is.

 

 

                                   Isn't he a cute one? He is.
Brett entered the Missionary Training Center (MTC) on February 20. After speaking with his mom, when he said goodbye to his family he didn't even cry. I'm tellin' ya, this kid is nuts. He hardly cries. He's a tough cookie. And after grabbing his luggage out of the car and walking away with the other missionaries he didn't look back. This kid knows what he is doing is the right thing. He just knows that on his mission is where he needs to be. He told me the day before he left when we went on our last date that he was going to be in the place where he needs to be right now in his life. That no matter what happens at home, it's important for him to take the time to serve in New York to help people to be as happy as he is and can be. 

How could you be upset about that? As hard as it is and was to let him go away for two years (24 months, 104 weeks, 730 days) I cannot be upset about the fact that he is going to serve the Lord for this time. His time, starting this last Tuesday night after being set apart, is solely dedicated to our Heavenly Father. I miss my best friend so dearly. I never thought that it would be so hard to say goodbye to someone you know you're going to see again one day in two years...but goodness that was one of THE hardest goodbyes I've ever had to say. At first when Brett and I did say goodbye I literally couldn't get words to come out, I could only look at him with tears in my eyes hoping I could say the right thing to him to make a lasting impression. 

It's been two days...surprisingly these days have gone pretty quickly. Who am I kidding. It's been TWO DAYS. That's two days I've made it through thinking of my best friend hoping he's doing okay, hoping that he's happy and having the time of his life and working so hard. It's difficult to not be able to just pull out my phone and call him and ask how things are going, if he's eating, sleeping okay, able to get accustomed to the schedule, if he and his companion are getting along. Lots to think about. On top of that I'm having dreams of him getting lost in the MTC, or that I go to find him just to try and talk to him but he doesn't know who I am. Those are the scariest. I think I'll be okay when I get a letter from him. 

Anyway, on the 19, Tuesday, he and I went on a date to all of our favorite/most memorable places. We went to some parks to sit on our favorite bench, went for a walk on the trails, went to a hiking trail, and went to a hill where we danced one time and looked out over the city. He called this "Love's Journey." He even drew a little map of where we were going and had a little caption for each place. So sweet. That day was wonderful and bitter-sweet. We laughed, smiled, cried, talked, danced, and enjoyed our last day together. It was even the perfect day-blue skies, fairly warm-ish, and had a nice breeze, and the air even cleared up so we could actually see the whole valley! Perfect. He and I love days like that (who doesn't, right?). 

Excuse the wind-blown hair.

I even had the opportunity to go when he was set apart as a missionary. That was one of the most amazing experiences ever. Our stake president had him look around the room at everyone and say who they were and why they're important. Every time he looked at someone knew it was something special. I couldn't help but tear up at every single thing he said (like I've said before, I'm such a sap). Seriously he looked at his parents and I started to cry. 

This journey so far has been phenomenal. I've had so many wonderful people reach out to me to help me out in any way. Brett's mom and sister and I went out to lunch yesterday and it was so nice to be with them again and be able to talk about this amazing boy we all love. Brett's mom is the sweetest woman I have ever met, she is so caring and concerned for others, she is so supportive and is one of my favorite people to talk to.

728 days to go...not that I'm counting.