ernest competition
furniture
result

k went to ernest competiton.... the infocom thingy.... so got 5 sch. junyuan, hwa chong, zhss, st andrew, RI. jun yuan and st andrew have the background of coming to the finals of this competition last year. so when announcing the results.... they said hwa chong was fifth.... happy ah. cuz jun yuan will be fourth, easy to tell, then zhss is in the top three then got pizza from ernest. so when announcing the third in place, it is natural for ppl to be greedy... so, we go curse st andrew..... pray hard.... and strike! st andrew third..... so now we can ask for more pizza.... we should be contended with a second place, but is it too much to ask for more... no. so now curse RI.... and then we came in first.... happy. big big pizza to claim from ernest. he walk offf with $400. as his junior, in infocom club, u get 2 cent, as ernest friends, we plan to go claim $50.
the reason why we went there to support you is because of the pizza... nothing else.... if no pizza, you are screwed ernest... owe pizza pay pizza.

went to furniture shop.... sis buy study desk.... i go jalan jalan.... looked at the bed.... hmm, it is kind of very small to sleep, and even smaller for night scene.... haha. sleep is very the important to me. i need a big space to roll about. then the sofa.... i like those L shaped one.... no leather, cushion ps... i can sleep on the sofa easily. table and chairs.... err.... the edge better be round.... the chair is best with cushion, and a back rest. the the rotatable chair leh.... i like the office one. the head rest so shiok, can fall asleep.

result sucky lah.... a lot of hmk... then dad want me go tuition again.... the only time i use eng, is when i'm at the com, reading articles.... and the time on the com is so short.... what u expect...

teacher says that need more exposure to a language... k.... practise... k.... encouragement.... hmm.... no. i don't see it. as much as it come to support and encouragement ... i don't see it. if i bought something, then it would turn out to be like: "see we care about you, buy you the things you wanted" then part two is: "see lah, we buy you stuff, then you still score so badly..." i bought it after the exams.... i could never tell how much i get in an exam unless i took back the ppr. then they say make a rough guess..... hoho. this also come back.

if i say the test is easy, then screw up, then died liao lor. if do well, nothing happen... cuz u said is easy then you are suppose to do well.

if say test is fine... then screw up then kanna some scolding. if do well, then nothing happen.

if say test is hard... the first qn is "why isit hard? is it u nvr learn..." so its my fault to feel that it is hard lah! damn it lah.if do well, then nothing happen... do badly, then lesser scolding.

the scolding in the sense of not making you feel the fear, but say in the sense that is suppose to make you feel bad.... no the physical pain.... is the hurt you kinda emotionally... so when it come to this... i'm so sian. u do that since like pri sch.... eh.... ppl get numb to those cainning... i get sick to this kinda of rubbish.

tell me who and who had died.... k... so..... two days to get over it.... when you are dead, you're dead... fertiliser you become end of story..... maybe when you reached the last few years of your life, you should ask yourself... "hey, i done my part.... i had F, human life continue. most of the things i wanted to do have been done, so now it's time for me to take a long rest...

then for the other incidents is like some things happen, ask this question... is the person who is the victim, can they cope with it? if they can, not much concern is needed. then if it is abt a person decision on certain stuff, then is whether they regreted this decision or not... if they did something others find it unacceptable, but they find it ok, and no regrets, then you have nothing to say.... what that "unique" person not need is another of his/her friend to come and TRY to make him feel bad abt his decision.

so later go grandma house... yar.... kind of like war time again. photocopy the bill, and go complain. and you don't get the support from the family... not 100% support, cuz 33.33% of the support from dad, is on the opposite side. as much as i cared about.... i seriously don't believe in forgive and forget.... for most people... few exceptions, i can count those "few exceptions" with one hand.

since when one is a child, the parents keep doing this moral value teaching.... yup, they did teach.... but i did not accept much of it... or apply very little of it. everything has a way of backfiring.... more in more out. less in, less out. friends say "you no childhood ah?" yar. i admit. if you refer childhood, a time where it is suppose to be nice and everything.... i don't see it much. so you know this friend of yours had died. so you now know that this blood relative would hurt you to make his daughter feel good.... so you threaten a friend since pri one to get what you wanted... i don't feel the innocence.... it is very energy wasting to keep smilling. but no choice... that bluff is needed. you had been faking everything for the past 9 years, the six years before that you had not learnt how to fake anything. so are you still going to continue on faking? yar. why not.

i like the tune of the chorus of the song "all we are" by one republic... the word "bind" to me means -constipated.

watched the "frontline" news thingy at 10.30pm after news.... so they touched on pm lee speech. and one of the factors is that the ppl nowaday believed in the movie too much. expected their life to be a movie. so they end up on a forever waiting... femal as child bearing apparatus... hmm... it had been that way since the age of the dino. the femal lay the egg. it had nvr changed. blame your "invisible man" if you have one. it's rude, but kind of true. when you are in this department of drama, you see this things differently. to me, drama is like looking at life at another light, creating a story about the life of items. the characteristics of life, added up together... make your life look like a movie.... wait long long. the movie ends in 2.5 hr at max. your life is longer then that. so got this lady in this frontline who was interviewed. she said about "changing" ... don't expect other to change, but change yourself. don't state the request.... unless it is something that is really really really affect you badly.

mr ang is a very "xi xin" [chi] person. it is detailed, careful, person. caring for one till the smallest problem. grief, layman term: over-care.


very long story:
cherp say that couple faces look alike cuz they go through the same things together... one face change with the surrounding. a happy enviroment make one face look cheerful.... and so on.
if we had the two of them completely alike in the terms of how they do things, react to a certain event. like both of them had the same idea, way of doing thing, reaction, ...the pair being completely alike, mirror image. then one day they meet with an incident. which make them very very upset. as they both react the same way, are affected badly by this event, they both kind of break down... then who is going to do the work. who is crying in whose arm.... they both have the same weaknesses. if you are a traditional person, going back to gender role, like the guy ain't suppose to cry and stuff, you are nut case. either party will die of angina pectoris, too much emo stress. thus to me, a difference is important. so one is down, the other party can be sad , to a certain extend, but still okay enough to carry on the normal duties. so in the end, this family still carry on. just a change of who is in charge.... switch role.... so the differences between two people can be made up for with compromise and stuff. understanding. this is what i think.... similar to a certain extend, but not completely similar. slight difference... more differeces, then more understanding...people also need "breathing space" their privacy and pride... control over another party to a certain extend. bad habits can be asked to changed, but "other stuff", may not be that possible. "other stuff" means the things that a person do that is different from others, that make everyone unique. when it comes to control, the back seat, front seat, i prefer to let the other party to have the fun....the front seat. a certain amount of control. but when it is time to get serious.... switch seat... i nvr said this before to her. firstly, she would be bored. it is a long story. to understand and digest.... hmm... tough luck. too innocent to take this.

when i'm tired... i wanted someone to take the front seat... but no one is able to take that front seat. or should i say, handle the front seat... when i'm normal, i think it does not matter much who take the front seat. when the other party is down, take your rest then.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQ-4f9GP92Q
if ppl seriously got time and sit down, wach this again and again for 1/2 an hour , that's pro of you... break my record then.

And I'm okay if we're drinking
Grab a beer and disappear with me
Disappear with me
And you don't, you don't have to sympathize
I will try and dry my eyes

And I put a record on
Put it on and get it on with you
Get it on with you

This time you'll find some other gonna mess your mind I
t's too late or too soon
Some other gonna come too soon

Put it on
I will try and dry my eyes
Put it on
Am I something you despise?
Put it on
I will try to dry my eyes
Put it on

I put a record on
I put a record on
I put a record on
Too soon

Put it on
And I will try and dry my eyes
Put it on
But am I something you despise?
Put it on
I will try to dry my eyes
Put it on

the lyrics.... the internet one sucks

some ppl "watch too much movie" good example is liwen... she's nuts case. so we got teacher day.... do the preparation... k.... then she say do the dance... so zhi min came to her and 'scolded' her that it take a long time then she said she will want the class to do a performance... singing, and a little dancing. k... now is me and cherp turn... nut case huh? you are outa ur mind... any five minutes performance, need hell lots of rehearsal... by professional actors... we the class of ppl who study, perform this thing.... crazy liao... dancing and singing... hmm. you got a long breathe. long enough breath to dance and sing...

then she commented on how the song go to waste.. k.... not everything get appreciated... very common one.. then got this main line: "I FEEL THAT IT WENT TO WASTE..." why use "FEEL" not the word "THINK". anyone want to answer this qn...

then go buy tidbit with cherp.... then we told her about the tidbit cost and amount... she say a lot... fine, liwen... go on diet... eat half a fishball, or one quarter of a fish ball. everyone could eat and party... u just go party only k?... don't touch the food.

meet with many accident nowaday.... fell down... knocked down... grief... haven't die that early.... relax k...

i prefer my result then the money. so the soft toy got another 2 day of lifespan from today... then it goes to the ??? as much as i care about now... my result... nothing else. what goes to waste is the thing... it cost 30 dollars.... but it is less important then my result. that thing to me... cost much, but it does not contain much meaning within it... so no point. it was bought, then given....within one day.... it served one purpose, but the objective is reached, so it can take it's rest liao. this time round, the scolding is bad enought liao... i could not find "any reason" to tell my parents why i screwed up my exam... telling them the truth requires trust.... i don't see that.

the video of the spoiled china kids in the school reminds me of lots of stuff. so the teen in the video, a she... said that she would die, than to go to that reform school. she would commit suicide... hoho... all talk, no action. this kind of ppl, they are too scraed to do it... a useful threat.... but not useful enought. real suicide... thought about it... not very fun.... scared i can't fit into the coffin... haha.

i copy hmk.... get use to it... i'm lazy at times...

me and cherp talked about mr ang... his future... what he needs is some people to screw him up on an outing. with someone... a baby making machine...[ if you are saying that i very bad, that's my cover, but it is true ] so mr ang need someone who is ???? dunno... need more info.

so chi lesson, we talked about blogging.... hoho... i'm screwed. all the bad things always come to me. so mr ng said about the blog having vulgarity.. per line... hmm... i kanna that too. ah lah mat... so in deep shit... oh fuck. [that f word is on purpose one k? ]

hell lots of hmk... no discounts.... screw.

reminder:
-claim $10 from class fund
-another $10 from audrey.

my memory is failing like shit.... too much falling down... don't crash other ppl party... don't destroy their cherished belief.... yar... do that.

the songs i like from MSG:

TheBeautifulGirls " i thought about you"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgMT_IUHX9Q



Put a Record On -Unkle Bob's
just listen to the song.... don't like the video. prfer this song than the one above... this song sounded old.... but ok lah...

... funny way to start this post..... some people are bo liao, some people are bossy, some people are kiam pa. some people are all. and there is no reason to treat them nicely... hopelessly no reason. so the person sitting to my left got "kay po" busybody in hokkien.... then asked me three question....

1. do you hate her, want to hurt her.... that bunch of stuff.
2. to what extent, how sad did you get...
3. where is the soft toy....

my ans... simple and sweet. what is for show is for show.
1. no.... err why do that? one reason cover all the rest... so no need lah... the blade can save for someone else.
2. first day and second day kanna. later on okay liao lor.... how sad could i get? more things more dissapointing mah... if your tears could run for a very long time... i call you pro.
3. hmm...unless i could finda place to keep it in my house, then say lah.... i don't want to see it. but i accept the meaning of that thing. no point mah..... i prefer my pillow than that soft toy... slight asthmatic... got those fur things... want me to die huh!

is this the real ans? only i know... for all i know.... this blog is not locked... so anyone could acess here.... and some more is that that "fed up person" is a friend of her... your nuts k? i don't trust you.

doing the sexual abstinence thing... found this article:

Why Sex?

When you are feeling close to another person, it may seem natural to progress from hugging and kissing to sexual intercourse. Many people use sexual activity and intercourse as a way to express love, tenderness, and affection. However, emotional affection can also be expressed in alternative ways and this can circumvent many of the risks associated with intercourse. Enjoying a walk on the beach, a romantic dinner for two, or just a night at the movies can illustrate the same meaning inherent in sex and also allow for the formation of a deep emotional bond. Refraining from sexual activity doesn't mean that you aren't interested in expressing affection for your loved one. To the contrary, abstinence can open up opportunities to developing meaningful Unlike other animals, humans are able to associate sexual behavior with their psychology and emotions. We are able to control our sexual urges and evaluate our decisions unlike the rest of the animal world. As a result, humans are able to engage in a relationship based on sexual fidelity. A lot of couples find that sexual behavior is more rewarding when explored in an atmosphere of deep commitment, and one in which the possibility of children may be explored. Not all men and women are prepared for such a commitment and thus choose to abstain from sex until they are in a monogamous relationship.

go one sick qn... better not ask. for all i know, studies claimed that having a bed scene equals to jogging a few miles... need energy...

today in class, got the fake bird, and the real bird... the real bird making that sound thingy outside our class... then the fake bird in our class imitate the sound too. sometime the fake bird goes off tune...

thinking whether should create another blog, then everytime i do something unusual, then write it down.... see how weird it can get.... then can see the difference. my acting stops when i want to... otherwise, act all the way lah. nice to have a cover mah. also type down where i learnt certain sick stuf.... yar. what i planned to do. and stuff.

why post so much? hmm.... i want to keep my black hair... they turn white easily. why don't tell parents... hmm.... got trust problem..... they taught me to keep my "amno" when in a conflict

yar... done the ten rule thingy..... that was fast. rather fast. that's all i know.... good luck. grief.... how he hell the script does it so fast... well planned though. saved it in draft... not touching it for a long time... very long time.

the spoilers.... i spoil the fun.... haha.

it start with this charlie guy at the tree. then he says his family back ground. his family want him study business. work at tiler king company... [spelling] so he went to new york, cuz cousin had died. a twin like cousin. then he met jordan.. the girl... yar. so she was drunk, brought her back to the friend house, kanna jailed by jordan call to the police. then later in lecture, jordan find him. screwed him up... in his career. the birthday.... the funny stuff. then later jordan brought charlie to a restaurant, meet with the guy her dad pick for her. then charlie gave that gut ten rules to follow. jordan ran off, find charlie, at the subway. so later, they buried a time capsule at the bottom of a tree. year later, they came back. in jordan letter, she told charlie that her fiancee died, and that fiancee guy was like charlie, which was actually his cousin. then she treated charlie like the fiancee guy, repeating what they had done with charlie as subsitute. that charlie letter said he knows what is going to happen, pray for the better liao. so jordan was late for one day. then jordan and her fiancee mum meet at the restaurant, who was charlie aunt.... then they two met, and then kiss kiss, then end liao. grief... the killer is in the last 22 minutes... this is where you might want to use the tissue. eh?

this whole thing, the charlie character, is totally guai. totally being sabo-ed bring along a hanky.... err.... i don't do that... i'll ask for tissue. guai leh.... see first.... worth it? there is one tone in the show... very nice...

hmm.... will follow the movie? na.... nut case. maybe repeat one scene only... then i can say i'm totally done for it. get drunk? dunno. what happen when one get drunk.... the movie depict three scene... one is one got crazy, do stuff subconsciously... next is to drop dead drunk, then next one is where you stay awake, very conscious.... recall the things.... yar. grief... i prefer the second one and the third one.

now rewatching.... the reasoning part. reason not to keep seeing her.... kinda a lot... to see her... only got one. this is when one win all.

the life article..... some part i like.... the meaning, not exact words...:

he would call me to change another dress, too revealing, low cut.
when i go out with some other guys, he would appear fine, but he never told me how he felt.

this means it is reasonable to hold back a part of yourself...

talking abt lameness. got this OW JUN YING guy from tuition, who noticed his a math text book mia.

-call me, call me check my bag...
-call again, nvr though that he might left it in sch
-call again, want to know teacher name....

he fucking got no confidence in himself, and need directions.... eh, do this, eh, do that.... that's why he appears like a small kido to me. nvr grow up. nvr. so when dealing with this kind of ppl, lower ur standard, so that they won't feel inferior.... ah lah mat. crazy ass hole.

good grief... the ending 1/4 of the show was the killer part. it is the part where the tissue come in.... not bad mah... the ending.

the destiny part was what i kinda like... i don't trust luck... nor destiny thingy... you do things yourself.... that's the part of theatrerics... only this kind of things happen in theatre..... real life? na... that's the difference between theatre and life mah. one is the real one... one is the imagination that ppl perfect.

then there is this "story thing" whether a story had ended or begin.... good qn.... nvr know.... [very long pause for 5 mins]

so they had this "one year thing" good grief.... this one should not be much of a problem..... for me lah... i think okay lah. not that hard, except thing get real boring.... very bored.

so there is this old guy at the last 30 mins of the movie.... "he is strong in his own way" common sense would tell that everybody got something they are good at and something they suck at...

through this first 3/4, that charlie very guai.... for only one reason.... kinda tolerating all the nonsense and stuff. de... that's why the show is nice.

"10 rules" that is really an excellent one.... 10 rules kinda alot.... maybe only got less than 10.

respect..... hmmm.... got lah. really got. but show it when needed.

got one part is the guy with the machine gun.... yup.... so she left you, but do you think by hurting yourself, it will make her feel bad.... this is the part where female are very strong in. they would not feel anything, so don't bother hurting yourself. save the medical bill. the trip to the hospital by ambulance cost a lot. now fuel price go up.

the joke part:
the most funny part to me was:
we were still at the beginning phrase, i haven't seen his [ahem] yet.

then, i don't think there is hardly any more joking part liao...

through this whole post, sometime, if you removed all the yar, lah, mah, hmm and stuff, then add in in a serious tone, not those normal day when i'm joking or something... maybe will see something.

the main thing about the previous one.... she looks for chemistry.... i look for understanding.
should read the life article, maybe will scan in com... this part is when guys are allowed to be selfish... for a good reason. i'm not sharing what is mine with you... or to any close friends.... mine and mine alone. the article abt girls posing for playboy magazines .... the parent allow, but the guy don't..... the reason is here. maybe we were hardwire with this large amount of jealousy in us.... only the invisible man knows... how easy to find chemistry?.... in theatre, it is easy.... some lighting, some "mishaps" then finish liao... u got the audience.... but how long can it last... this qn is the killer. don't you find it greedy to ask for so much? appreciate what is happening... that's good enough.

get over it..... yup, faster now.... no need 7 weeks, can discount off some liao. right now, i feel just okay... this whole thing.... maybe doing just what my dad do.... let you run wild..... to the dangerous part too, see how long you can survive, then pull you back just in time. grief.... imagine being killed by a olden day heavy tv set.... almost did..... but haven't die yet, still typing...
knocked down by car... will, almost. this is the only part where i go lucky..... haven't die yet mah.

think will rewatch till i get numb of it... sian... got tuition.

went to download MSG.... thought is the korean version... turned out to be the eng version.... k... saved the cinema, and trip to malysia. maybe not the cinema. see first... watch one time, while doing a math, not much attention... watching again...

sian ah... malaysia too cold, sis fall sick, then need write excuse letter again.... why everytime kanna one huh? i walking in rain, she use umbrella still kanna. good grief.

every one month go john yeo blog.... find inspiration or something... not the religious belief... i got my own views... thank you. his blog post got thre topic.... himself, sometime wife, sometime kids... hoho. like the way he treat thing jokingly.... then he post about the child, from the child point of view.... he is nuts, from adult view, change to child view.... he kinda talk to himself... yar... a bit the weird lah, but i also do it... rarely.... his brain very good, got split personality... good for him.

do you ever ask yourself why other ppl let you strike them down, and never bother to retailate to your insults and stuff? ans, they can't be bothered with it.... just a small fly mah. laugh at you silently.... that's why love free show. enjoy it.

this year result till now considered quite ok. 1, 2 term okay, term 3.5 "wan dan"[chi] screwed up only. view thing in a better light..... if kanna during term 4.... oh, that is shitty. the timing can be considered, just right.

MSG: the korean one, may need tissue, the 2008 one leh, no need at all. save the tress. save the earth.... why bother saving the earth when you can't even save yourself.... the next instance, you could be dead... heart attack or something...

ah .... laugh when you are still alive..

shit... went to malaysia, for only one purpose [anyone one who know what i do in malaysia, knows what it is...] but sadly... objective not met. i hate free time.... grief... screw the word "recall" and "memory".... the weather no good.... raining.... "Rain outside my window pouring down" not my window... the coach window... but rained heavy enough..... got lots of time to think abt many things..... k..... got serious..... now slightly better... never kanna so badly...

go there makan steamboat, and seafood..... one aunty commented: the kids nowadys don't eat seafood as much as us.... eh hello mdm. u think i don't get the underlining message in ur speech isit? i ate much breakfast, of couse a lesser lunch lah.... u older ppl eat first lah... take the stuff u want to eat... i finish up the rest lah..... grief, they treated me like a spoiled kid..... got one small girl, abt maybe pri 1... "mama, i want pepsi!" ah lah mat.... eat what u r provided and shut ur trap... come on lah... pri 1 i nvr like that... got chi tea good enough liao...

seafood dinner... eat slowly... as slow as possible. the lighting no good, rather dim. can't see the crab things.... need a bio book to tell me the crab anatomy... the tour guide for the vege/fruit farm bio very good. the plant got ??? enzyme.... oh hell. "help me do my bio ppr thank you"

this time still badly shaken up by that event... 3rd week liao... still got 4 more week. shaken badly, that most test got only -just pass. this time, must act again... get the scolding lah, then what? tell what happen? dream on.... samuel lim lacks common sense and thought for others... it was removed from him when he reads his books.

isit becuz of the way i do things, that end up like this right now? the only one situation where i give more than take... did i ever stated my request? my wants or need? eh... i kept it in silence.
at least be mindful of the timing lah... spare a thought for others... what the other party lack is appreciation... comparison with normal and above normal.... got great difference... this whole thing is like watching a video of someone growing up... i watched a lot liao.... i get bored too.

dad don't really tell my mum everything... i get them more then my mum.... so, the dad role is the censorship guy... limit the amount of info one gets..... censorship.... yar, kinda considered good at it... it is a trust prob, of whether the info get leaked out. the more trust, the more info...
too much trust, or faith to someone too young... testing the limits... but overdone it... got this sense of hostility when with adults.... very careful. word for word... but the prob is that they got more authority than you... that suxs. let ur guard down.... yar.... 100% let my guard down... shit.

went to watch some part the korean version of MSG [my sassy girl] think will need tissue in cinema..... two packets is more than enough. half a packet is somewhat there.... "ur expression switch very fast" by wei ting.... yar lah... bo bian. no choice mah... need cover.

haha... so funny.... hahaha... now jun ying demoted to pri sch kid then to big baby. always listen to big boey advises or he will come and tell you what to do... write it down boey.... after a year or so, go look back and reflect bitch... hahaha. the entertainment is always there....

screw up most test.... yeah! damn it... for a good reason to. when people get bo liao... they are bo liao.... when i thought i lack the virtue of silence, some ppl who are really [big in size], also lacks it more than me... hahaha.... hopeless case.. take a few years to solve that prob.... his prob, not mine....

don't know act know..... not scary...
know, but act don't know, that's scary...

see first then act... but who r u to know all the decision is correct... god? okay... all hail ernest boey the new god of this century... GOD BOEY. his one rule: i'm big you are small.

grief...

tolerance? got..... why not... nothing serious mah... can one lah... asked cherp, if he lowers his standard to the same as others... he said yes. hahaha. what joke.

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

oh shitty... very shitty... shit till full of shit.... oh shit damn fuck screw blah shit damn die ah..... 50% real/fake....

hahaha... like this joke?
and yes it is a joke.... split this post into two....top bottom....
haha... so funny... got ideas for more joke liao... yes! haha... lucky ppl invented 1st april... heng ah... other wise very boring... i live for april fool day...
1030pm

whatever ernest..... i'm still dotting my way through.... it's habitual.... my habit... got prob? clement from 3e5 do one line one line one line.... i do the dots..... the dots.... the dots.... okay?
kanni na... since your are so peculiar abt the one line para... go join eng class then... go create a blog where all ur post is in perfect eng... good grief... i learnt it from charlie brown... still dotting...

imagine trying to post about all my opinion about my friend after the end of sec. sch... the good, bad, ugly things... all at one shot.... ppl will kill me.. 54 years already discounted enough liao... further discount is OR-RI-BLE, not horrible. hor.

asking qn can find out about a person character... yar... more add on to ernest. yan ru never changed much. same to lim also.

the test all screwed up... good. so got reason to work hard for end year. thought that will not be that affected.... then realised that worst than expected... round two... why so dumb? put in so much... then kanna emptied out... shit!

the craig david song, don't love you no more:

Those simple words hit so hard
they turned my whole world upside down
girl you caught me completely off guard
on that night you said to me
I just don’t love you no more

ah ha...
hit so hard -yar, but not the hardest one i kanna before...
my whole world upside down -almost, not completely. 40% burnt out... off course.
girl you caught me completely off guard -de... nvr think much that day... shit!
on that night -it was a day time... so more hours... very bad... but clever lah...
I just don't love you no more - not the exact word, but meaning there, enought liao...

did eng essay... on parenting.... how to do? easy, just almost everything opposite of what my parents did then can liao... many things cannot say... keep to urself lah... then how... can tell meh? tell liao got help or kanna worst... no point, so save the trouble. when u r small, ur parent instill in u the moral value they wanted in u... i got big prob with that. i don't really do that... semi hopless case. maybe september one week holiday, one day take out, use to watch movie... should do great...

in my mind got one pic... just black and white... this person, stand in the middle, with arms stretched out. one left side of that guy chest, dried up and crack off, about a rather huge hole. then the arms are in a messy tangled shape structure.... no feet... fall apart, then rebuild...

thinking more than usual... head big liao.... need sleep. never enough.

read through the previous post.. since sec 1.. got grow up a little? got... why not... last time still very kid...mah...

at this age, it is still understandable to be childish... at an older age, there goes ur chance... so act like kid now... enjoy before its over... kid kid in sch... very fun... totally no brain thinking... like that then shiok... why act old huh? fun meh.... children mimic adults, so that they can feel adult like, superior... so acting mature in sch... does this means u are still having a kid mindset... wanting to act as an adult? acting as an old person kinda pose a threat to sensitive ppl... make them feel unease... so be kid....

go painting again... became tour guide.... reached there, do work, then kai lun, sze lang, audrey came... then kai lun got chatty and started a discussion... whether should the guy pay for all the date... or half half.... kai lun totally support that guy pay all. err... booo!!! half half lah, if after a long time... that poor guy would go bankrupt. then she started asking many other stuff... then i kanna all the bad things.... ok! i can be cheapskate at times... but not that bad one mah... if u considere the current situation... 30 dollars, means starving for a week. hoho... ur nuts. then i was said to be marrying a thailand or vietnam ppl in the future... those ppl very guai... very save money type... their nuts... it is like getting a long term maid that you can [ahem].... stop thinking sick... [ahem] means to confess ur secrets with someone... wash ur sick mind ps... kai lun went talking about how in china, the guy very gentleman... and stuff.... being gentleman need time, effort and money... got any good reason to cover up for all this? almost everything need a reason... except for a certain things.... u should know what... if don't know then too bad.

then noticed that everytime kanna kai lun, she change topic.... avoid... her expectation very high... must be someone who attend to her 24 hour... a bit the self centered ah.... then zhi min and wah lim soon kanna. then they asked me this question: what is ur expectation...

this question say hard is considered hard... i nvr thought about it much... maybe only 2 condition... much more simpler than all those long story that the kai lun give.

1. accept my way of doing things... acceptance... can demand for reasoning.
2. go straight to the point, tell the news urself... don't send me ur speaker.

haha.... must follow my dad... when it comes to housework, keep the skill, do only when necessary... who playing open cards... show all the cards... haha... wait till the appropriate moment then show card... like that more trill.

???? god, bless my car, i'm parking it on the double yellow line road outside your church/mosque/temple.

then they asked why guys like to talk dirty.... hmm... good qn. must give analogy.
-mr ang played the black magic game with us. those who don't get it, give the confused face... very entertaining.
-the disgusted face of one makes u feel delighted...
so the ans is obvious right? for fun purposes only mah... not dropping hints or whatever shit...

everytime listen to the song "never too late", then kinda semi link to the movie my sassy girl...
things i do in the cinema, if i like the movie...
-sure put on the ear piece... as ear plug... some ppl know that...
-pen and ppr. writing comments... for sure if solo.
-i grew out of popcorn... i prefer to watch only... no eating...

wonder what will happen in the cinema while watching... will cry again? dunno leh... should watch? yar... go entertain urself... be sad. should call someone on standby in case kanna again? yar... see first. get a tissue feeder.

zhi min: lao pa, how long will u still live
me: 69 minus 15 years old... so ans is 54.

national day rally speech.. lee hsien long said the story of this guy who visited the gf parents, last minute call the matchmake company asked for advise, then they say must go buy present...
then after dinner with her parents, gf said it was unlikely for him to buy a present... lee hsien long also claimed he nvr buy present the first time he meet the in law.... haha... got excuse liao..
domestic sci lesson for the guys..... no need. i think i quite good liao... need practise only...

sain ah... a lot of project going on....

People Definitely Like You

You are very well liked, and many people admire you. You are friendly, well mannered, and fun to be around. Of course, you're not perfect... but that's okay. Your friends are usually willing to accept you for who you are! What People Don't Like About You: People don't like that you forget them easily. No one wants to be friends with someone who doesn't remember their name! People don't like that you put others down and like to gossip. They are worried that you also gossip about them! What People Like About You: People like that you can defend what you believe in calmly and rationally. You stand your ground and gain respect. People like that you take responsibility for your actions and admit your mistakes. They appreciate your maturity. People like that you're interesting and intriguing. You always have something interesting to say.

haha... so fake.... interesting to say..... er what? sick jokes?

Your Independence Level: High

You are extremely self reliant and autonomous. You are definitely into doing your own thing. But you also wouldn't turn down help if you needed it. You follow your own path, but you don't do so blindly.

i can live with just bread and water...

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

ahahaha. i dislike certain part of tradition... it is invented by one guy... and we blindly follow... grief.

cherp reminded me of something... reminded. not taught me. couples have [ahem] for 3 day a week for the first 3 months.... k, that's logical then the rest of the llife leh? no more fun. no more "bing bang boom" which means F. why, get bored? come on lah ... you waited for about 2 decade for it... then you let go of it aft 3 months... nut case. i see no logic...

go painting on monday. very tired, that fall asleeep half way while watching the national day rally speech. too tired. seow wei ting say i change expression very fast.... Really? u're blind.... maybe slightly faster than normal... when you r down, still need to smile cuz ur drama teacher says so... then i notice how ppl can be paranoid abt things... the spelling suxs... i know... don't rub in... rub ur "stuff" then... before we left then budding artist studio, wei ting no.2 claimed i bully her... then aft reaching serangoon mrt... she is still thinking about it... ah lah mat... you done with? 1 hr liao... and the incident still on ur mind leh... think and look at something else... eg: oh my god, that old aunty still want to act chio. wear till like that. take a pic, and crop off the head... replace with something nice.

sian.... today ke ming asked me how to explain "sian".... oh shit... then sabo to do the sl presentation thingy... die liao. leave it to jing loon and ben to do the presentation then... i am "fed up" liao... kai lun, i taught you "pissed off" so now ur trademark is no longer "fed up". i not copying u.

how fake can i get... very fake.
do a survey 3 times. each time do slower. think more, and do slower. result:

You Are 65% Grown Up, 35% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature. Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

round 1: this is the kind of test where it is easy to fake... see, nvr think, then click

You Are 79% Grown Up, 21% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature. Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

round 2: slightly slower. somewhere near accurate. got think lah. not very deep

You Are 81% Grown Up, 19% Kid

Your emotional maturity is fully developed, and you have an excellent grasp on your emotions. In fact, you are so emotionally mature - you should consider being a therapist!

round 3: this one spend time to think... ponder over stuff. plus minus 15 minutes...

questions:

1.You know that jealousy only harms your relationships, and you are able to avoid it. -change topic in mind...

2.You are able to deal with anxiety easily and quickly. -must stay calm...

3.You believe that changing other people is futile - you only try to change yourself. -common on lah. ppl change for you... wait long long. change when it is socially unacceptable. eg: anti gov.... haha

4.You know that you're not perfect, and you're totally okay with your flaws.
-if i was perfect... i get full mark for all the test.

5.It's easy for you to love someone. -tough luck...

6.When you encounter a problem, you try to solve it quickly. Thinking about it only makes it worse. -see first, consider option... go straight... nvr.

7.Rejections in your life have definitely hurt, but you have always been able to move on from them quickly. -the second day, i can tell sick jokes as per normal.

8.You are a very honest person. You have principles that you live by. -my principles, not yours...

9.You enjoy giving more than receiving. -depend on situation...

10.When you are angry with someone, you don't hold on to it. You make your feelings known and then move on. -hey you cock up... damn you. fix the shit, not my prob.

ans:
1.always
2.always
3.always
4.always
5.rarely
6.rarely
7.always
8.always
9.sometimes
10.always

Your Love Type: INFJ

The Protector In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship. For you, sex is nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls. Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in. However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself. Best matches: ENTP and ENFP

not a perfectionist. haha... hold back a part of yourself. de yar. common sense would tell you that.

Your Brain is 13% Female, 87% Male

You've got the brain of a manly man Feelings, schmeelings... tears aren't for you. You could break both legs and not get misty eyed. A great problem solver, nothing ever phases you.

hetro. not homo.

You Are More Cutthroat Than You Think

Yes, you do have that killer instinct lurking in you. And while you may not be actually cutting throats anytime soon... You certainly don't mind clawing your way to the top.

ah hahahaha. me ribs hurts when i laugh.

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISTP)

Your personality type is reserved, methodical, spirited, and intense. Only about 6% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 8% of all men You are Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving.

it nvr really does change..

You Are Somewhat Virtuous

You are occasionally a good person, but you often stop short at doing the right thing. It's just a lot easier (and more fun) to be bad! You do have a reputation to uphold. Deep down, you're a fairly good person. But no one's perfect. You're just a lot less perfect than most people! Where You Are Virtuous You have the virtue of Industry. You know how to do what's useful and avoid time wasters. You have the virtue of Frugality. You spend your money wisely, and you are not wasteful. You have the virtue of Resolution. You are determined to do what you should, no matter how difficult it is. Where You Are Not Virtuous You lack the virtue of Silence. You talk too much, and your words aren't as valuable as they could be. You lack the virtue of Moderation. You are attracted to extremes of all sorts. You lack the virtue of Cleanliness. You are quite messy... and maybe even a little dirty.

see nvr change... always the same... stay original. copy-righted k? haha.
a false advertisement gets you $5000 fine.... i don't see any bill coming my way.

very funny... rather okay... meet dave ming cheng... eddie murphy guy... how much is he paid to do this kinda stuff. still prefer to watch zohan... my [ahem] is gonna burst out of zippa...

6 weeks to go...

very sian... movie must wait till 4 sept or 26 aug. shit. go malaysia on 23 aug. too early to buy... haven't release yet.

fel asleep while reading comic. wake up 1/2 hour later to do hmk... then sleep again. the sleep cycle a bit the screwed.

blah blah... mum said dad a insensitive to her illness. then how crazy my aunt was. oh what the hell.

i got bo liao... yeah!

You Are 90% Skeptic

You're no cynic, but you are a complete skeptic. You don't buy into anything without proof - and you'll challenge any established "fact". In your view, evidence is what matters. You don't believe things based on hope. In fact, you wouldn't even be likely to say you "believe" anything. Believe implies faith.

common sense can tell you that.

You Are Sexually Powerful

Your attitude toward sex is healthy, safe, and sane. You enjoy sex as much as (or possibly even more than) the average person. You're open minded, intelligent, and adventurous when exploring your sexuality. And while you never take things too far, you take them far enough!

ahahahaha... cough cough...

You Are 28% Feminine, 72% Masculine

You are in touch with your masculine side. You are not overly sensitive and not easily moved. Occasionally, though, something will get through and touch your heart!

blah blah...

You Are 67% Open

You're a pretty open person - and you don't mind sharing the good, bad, and sometimes ugly. And while sometimes you do catch yourself blabbing on, you usually exhibit restraint. You're openness is quite refreshing, and it encourages other people to be open with you!

what kind of news have made me felt sick before? sick in the sense that i felt disgusted... disturbed... rarely...

You Are a Little Negative...

You can be negative from time to time, but you rarely go overboard. You have a realistic view of the world, and most people appreciate your honest insights. Like everyone else, you have your darker moods. But when you're feeling super negative, you keep your feelings to yourself.

that's why i could tell sick jokes...

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Modifying

Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you. You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion. You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested. You tend to ground those around you and add stability.

whatever....

Your Intrapersonal Intelligence Score: 88%

Your Intrapersonal Intelligence is Very High You've spent a lot of time introspecting, and it's really paid off. You are comfortable with who you are, and you have a life philosophy that you are happy to live by. And you're always re-evaluating what you believe. Because you learn something new about yourself each day!

see.. same as last time...

Your Thinking is Abstract and Sequential

You like to do research and collect lots of information. The more facts you have, the easier it is for you to learn. You need to figure things out for yourself and consider all possibilities. You tend to become an expert in the subjects that you study. It's difficult for you to work with people who know less than you do. You aren't a very patient teacher, and you don't like convincing people that you're right.

not being a teacher... get that right.

You've Changed 40% in 10 Years

Ah, the past! You may not remember it well - because you're still living in it. While you've changed some, you may want to update your wardrobe, music collection and circle of friends.

de...5 to 15 ten years...

Your EQ is 140

You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. You are warm and open. Even when life gets you down, you're unafraid of the world and its challenges. You are comfortable with who you are. And you accept your weaknesses - as well as the weaknesses of others. While you are quite stable, you don't respond perfectly to every bad situation that comes up. But you have enough emotional intelligence to know when you need a course correction.

so is good or bad?

What Your Handwriting Says About You

You are sometimes a very energetic person, but you are sometimes quite lethargic. You're moody, prone to ups and downs, and you don't have a lot of endurance. You range from very outgoing to very shy. You are a shapeshifter who is very versatile. You adapt well, and you look at things from many angles. You are very detail oriented and meticulous. You are a careful thinker and a true intellectual. You need a bit of space in your life, but you're not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well. You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart. You are a poor communicator. No one really knows exactly what you're getting at.

talk more than you write... k? then what's the point of having a mouth? for BJ?

You are the Sense of Sight

You are a very observant, detail oriented person. You are able to take in a lot of information at once. You often see things that other people never notice. You have a good eye for design and aesthetics. You love to be surrounded by beauty - natural or not. When you imagine how something should look, you see it clearly in your mind.

detail ps... no vague ideas..

You Are 40% Burned Out

You are a little burned out these days. You are mostly energized and happy, but you occasionally wear yourself down. Think about taking a personal day every so often. You work hard, and you deserve to give yourself a little break!

yar... i can sleep anytime.

You Are 89% Non Conformist

You're incredibly strange. And a weirdness like yours takes skill to cultivate! No one really understands you. And you're cool with that. You just hope you never have to understand them!

this is what you get with ABCD till the end.

You Are 87% Real

There's hardly a person on this earth more real than you are. You have no problem showing people who you are, flaws and all. For you, there couldn't be any other way. Because it's way too stressful to live an inauthentic life. You're very comfortable with yourself. And because of this, you're able to live an exciting, interesting, and challenging life.

still the same. nvr change.

my cousin phone bill overshot again... screw that cheapskate uncle...
i feel that i nvr use too much. yar "feel" not confirm.

gao tim the blogskin... one day. ["gao tim" is finish in hokkien...]

haha. for e

today go wall painting again... grief.. i cock up. not paying attention. reached ther too early. door nvr open me and cherp outside there for 1/2 hour plus. then the guy there come late half hour... waiting, called mr ang... want to go off then the manager guy come. very tired...

bah... mum eating a kind of medicine for 7 years... to calm down her nerves... then change doc... now got prob with med. different dosage. doc ask 15 question, and 60 dollars for consultation fee. 4 dollar per ques. eh! what kind of job is that... i also want... it will be easy shit.

when ur hair kanna paint... don't touch it... go wash. good grief.. still got many part haven't paint. the china schoolar, finished a wall, sit and sing song. in pri sch. form teacher always use this line call "no initiative"

ignorance is bliss: blood group, unknown. blood contamination, unknown... health prob... unknown... yeah! aft taking bio... no way i'm gonna let you take that needle thingy and poke it into me...

maybe next wed and thurs will go the paradiz centre level 5 to go paint wall. main reason is enthu, kill time. sub reason is to get hours... i not enought! die ah.

yar... jia chin say i blog very unqiue manner.... change from first person to third person.... err. should i say thank you? i am seriously entertain by the talks by boey. very entertaining... as long it's a free one... by all means. tilting head up 4 a long time increaese the risk of stroke... hmmm, maybe should leave the upper portion of the wall to those ppl with a stronger heart. e said: pour water on u without feeling regretful... anything to be regretful abt? if he can kill ppl, without any remorse, then call him pro. ppl he knows.... something like the macbeth play... this effect can only be achieve in theatres.... this reminds me that i still want to watch "funny games usa" shit it is nc16. the guy in the cinema hard to bribe. still got 1 more year, then can.... damn it.

yar... go painting... very hectic. tmr going... not enought hours. A math test and the sci screwed up liao... oh shit. the blogger just gave me the cannot connect thing.

ernest... the big boey... big big boey... very big... yup.. very big. outta stop, sit back and observe sometime... ur dream to be a game programmer... big. my dream... live the next 60 years nicely. that's enough. then last 5 years, is mostly on bed. there was one period of time i was slightly like ernest... so? it's over.. move on. how long do you want to be stuck at that thinking. that so called age.? you disgust me. the period where ones voice his or her views, hoping to gain acceptance. ha. wait long long. ernest and khuang... why they are buddies... simple ans: their mindset is the same. a simple as that... they continue to joke abt stuff. rub in the sad part. me leh, is to rub in when you are mad, angry. you can be sad then to be angry for a long period of time. making someone madder is ok. perfectly ok to me. any one with a normal level of glucose and mitochondria, and be angry for not very long time. when it dissolve away, which is quicker than being sad, it is finished. and you are normal again. cher perng is the type of ppl that is slightly more similar with comparison to me. the only big difference is he have more secrets. and more generous personality. stand at a point and observe what happen first... then you act. and when it comes to observing... observe very long. very very long. the words one say. have a specific meaning... cherp more specialised in body language... his sis doing that topic... lucky guy.

that is the obvious reason why that on that day where the date is a repeative of zero and eights... why call cherp? the only friends that are outdoor near bishan is cherp, khuang and ernest, and zeke and zheng feng. bear and boey... forget it. zeke not much help. zheng feng, wait long long. so cherp lah... abou 99% of the stuff need a reason to do it, otherwise, no point doing it. what are you expecteing? charity huh? you support charity, then why don't you go do all the maunal work at NKF building or something... wash all the shit out of the toilet.

now is very the relax... very peaceful mind... very peaceful. doing things slighly faster than usual. tmr got Service Learning project, go paint walls or something... anyone bring chips... tell me k? i'll eat some of them.... maybe more than some.... how about giving me the whole packet for free huh? it's an ideal trade.

bio got this line call parasitic. yar. normal time i'm a parasitic friend. saying lend me foolscape is nicer... but is it a lent, or a give? this also the same for stapler, pens, eraser, and many other stuff. symbiolic should meant one party gain the other party: nothing happens like that if in a good mood. mutual.... yar... observe first then decide k? everything is always at a pending state... "see first" then act. like that won't have much mistake in the choice mah.

CE lesson reminded me of something. without acting, not the appearance, but how is a person like deep down inside. the pure ppl have pure friends. the corupt one have corrupt friends. the pure one have corrupt friends who don't show the corrupt side... good for that pure person, but if showed, then the chances of being corrupted.... will be there, but depend on the choice of one... good grief ... at age 17... still pure... and sitting next to me... haha. pity her ears, especially when there is a new joke... cherp? nah, he is no longer pure. he knows much. ps note that pure meaning innocent in terms of RA stuff and other NON-RA stuff. want to have a person who is still pure at age 15? got. call ow jun ying from my tuition. he is still like a pri 3 kid. he will go extra happy by lame stuff.

you joyly we know you should not be serious... joyly well know that you must be a joker now or you will break down again... it took effort to hide everything.... then you lose control infront of ur friends.... talking to yourself ain't solving the prob... but i prefer to let it dissolve. dissolve and forget... ernest started talking about you being too rash, violent to khuang.... yar... an eye for an eye... you hit me it the [ahem] i hit you back... does it matters which method i use... no. footprint can be solved by detregent... and you have it... the ernest get to his "serious talk" again... talking about how much i hurt khuang.... so? is there so many reason to care for anyone.... then ernest said you joked too far. over joked... yar, to you it maybe. to me... i get entertain k? then walked out of sch... till now, you feel that ernest is slightly older then khuang... yar. in terms of appearance... not the true colour... i don't want to see the true colour. it doesn't help me much... then jing loon came in... join the party... still continueing on ernest topic on serious and joking.... a morbid sense of humour... something like that.. thats what i have. joke about ur grandma dead.... ur parents.... u urself.... anything is on the table. why not to be serious.... you get the memories that haunts you... the hate... the anger.. the sadness.... all the shit you want to forget. and a joker cuz you want to stay happy. why join cldds in the first place..... reasons of a slack cca... reason that it realy improves your acting.... pretend to laugh when you are still crying.... treating as if nothing had happen... acting like u don't know anything. ignorance is bliss. the more you know the more you get... knowing that people related by blood would do unimaginable things, for show or over money.... thoughts of suicides.... and so on. so ernest or jing loon made a comparison with hong ren.... he is he. me is me... he can see and forget... good for him, i can't. joyly well know you had not recovered, and it is better to be a joker now.... then became serious and cried again... what to say? you deserve it. huo gai [chi] let the ernest continue his talk... let him have that sense of superiority... k? 7 weeks... better recover within that time frame. a dead line to meet. 7 months to completely erase most of it... never all. must have some vague memories... don't want a empty, unknown past... before you die.. you think back what you had done within that 7, 6 decade of your life at the first or second decade- empty... it freaks me out.

the part of the joking... comes down to the value which i believed in... parents say this... but really 100% take everything... or modify and keep. or over the years, discard away those that bring one sadness. the one where i have big problems with..."care and compassion" i see no point in it... 7 years to learn this lesson.... why care? should one care for those who had hurt you. and if someone who had hurt you deeply in terms of action and verbally... should you still care? ... damn it, i prayed that the person would just die off. one block having funeral, the other block at party over the death.... i learnt this from a period of 5-12 years old....

so the baka, thought can open up to someone at last, but end up hurt again... you never learnt your lesson don't you... observe more next time.

you know you can't tell your parents... you get a scolding, then it gets worst... and still, you are kinda semi expected to solve their prob at times, and not to give them prob.... sucky.

ppl would say this is twisted thinking.... yar..
k... now cool down much more liao. read an article somewhere, saying that the japanes war soldier, kill ppl in the day and rape women at night... why? firstly, they commited great act of violence in the day. at night, it is to neutralise this violence... do they really want to kill, or are they ordered to kill? mostly is ordered to kill. not much of a choice. it's i kill you or you kill me. i prefer to live then to die, so you die... then how... the terror is within this ppl. any guy would like want to make love to forget this... the actual sentence should be like "... i killed many people... let's just make love all night long to forget about this...." something like that. why use "make love" not go play arcade or anything.... during a war, means that tmr, you could be dead. and if that soldier have a life partner... then he would not want to die that fast yet... coming back to the main ques.. why use "make love" ppl view that the males would F when given a chance... but not quite true... the guy would not F a person who he deem as a bad person or a lousy ppl in laymen term... they do it to the good looking.....[it's natural] and the partner. the F session.. is when there is totally no more secrets between them.... the part of chasing aft her, asking for marraige.... then the F. hey that's a pretty long time. its like once you gain acess, you gain acess to it...

so if the love part is hurt, then what... personally, switching back to the violent part is the most logical... grief... i feel less when i watch hellsing. anything else, just don't bring back the shitty memories k?

somethings just need logic... where teachers have BIG PROBLEMS with it... one nice example is the cl script.... that's one crappy script. starting of the show, there will be ppl saying "the sun is great" repeatively... here comes my prob.... starting, there are 10 suns in the sky, killing the ppl due to over heat.... then left one when the "hou yi" person shot down the other 9. that's the first half of the show.... you could see that the sun is a bad thing, killing ppl. then the second half of the show... the narrator would say the sun dropping down, on the earth, becoming illnesses, thus the "chang e" need to go to moon to get the medicine... the second part portray the sun as illnesses.... where is is great at all? huh? major cock up in the script... and it goes unanswered.... ppl saying it to get the audience attention.... next problem... the overall dressing is mordern... the "hou yi" uses gun to kill the first sun... me!... lying on the stage is not funny.... so this thing is set in the mordern place... eating the pill to go to the moon is crap enough, but part of the story... to go to the moon to do what? sight seeing? it was claimed to get the med for the sick ppl. can't they just go to the pharmacy? saying that inflation thus no one could get the cash to buy med seems resonable... but the the "chang e" go moon for what... there is no atm machine up there... so this thing is cock up...

good grief.. saying the test of 35 mark was simple.... "shi fen rong yi" very easy in chi. but direct translation is 10 mark easy, so 25 mark hard lah... so got reason to screw up bio test...

i can only say now that i'm not keeping her in my thought... not a question of why... but where...
where is "in my thought" somewhere in between "she should had bent lower then got free show" and "damn it i missed a free show" yar...

got a ques abt free show.... free show, the common sense way, not the free exibition or commotion. it a situation when one knows it is a free show, if they move slighty, or stay there, should that person move his position? note that it is called "his position" there is nothing call look away... its free, just take it. pretend not to look but still oberving it... [eh this part was in the news ppr some time ago k?] part two, after the free show, should tell or keep quiet.... keeping quiet is better.... but telling got more trill for 10 seconds... depend on the personality of others...

blah shit... still got test.... kanna sai.

ernest and khuang sux at lying.... in tuition when this song got me... where is this song when you need it... it explains the bunch of shit....



rather relax now... very the relax... easier to care-less than to care... tmr go find zhang yan complain abt the rank thing.... damn unfair you know...

ernest said that i could still smile and laugh... err... yar.... then what? you can't smile when you are in the coffin. relatives and friend would say thing poor guy had lost his mind... too anxious to be fertizer for the plant...

rather okay now.... kinda semi okay.... mind a bit the clearer.... then sometime come again.... sad, but no more tears liao... exhausted... tired... lose appetite like siao... good time to slim down... come everytime when got nothing to do.....

rather surprised at the tagboard...

no idea who is that "kinder" guy...

kinder: learn to give up

who? kinder surprise... the chocolate???

anonymoussssSSSSS
-another weirdo.... a bit the too free with time...

anonymoussssSSSSS: if not i go tell kevin chee

this tell me that this baka is yong khuang.... ernest is unlikely

name.
-someone with a fullstop at the end...

9 Aug 08, 06:13
name.: wah i dun wan post anymore later it become more than $1

okay... who would be at the com at 6.?? pm.... maybe its yong khuang again. i'm not amused by this.... so shut the fuck up thank you.


someone u may know:
agree with name. tho

someone u may know:
oso not like she die or wad...

this person... is some what like ernest.... can tell from the oso... his style of speaking... he goes:" .....oso..... " and what u meant by "agree with name. tho" my england not good make it simple ok? the big problem with the name.... the part of "someone you may know" it is either i know you or don't know you... why put "may" if that person is not ernest, then it is "someone i don't know" the prob lies with the "may" ... a bit the not common....

女儿(zhimin): there are many things to look forward in this world. dun be taken back by this incident. However, if u nid to cry, rmb we will always be there for you.

she sounded so old... like those prob hotline ppl. i prefer to do things solo, when i don't want to be seen thank you... ur concern is appreciated... i guess.

puvan: ull nvr b emo...

this time can be considered emo... k? emo may mean that i slash my wrist etc... but emo + narcassist = emo without injuries... get it... narcassist should mean those who love themselve a bit the too much and would not hurt themself.... yar...

till now is still considered ok state... how to tell its not ok is when i drop dead on the floor... hey, that may be a good time to take out your handphone and call the ambulance ....

my current playlist...





















then the neutalizer....

08/08/08 what kind of date is it..... ppl say its the start of olympic.... day before national day.... i hated that day..... previous post would have told you that i post what is on my mind... the uneditted version of stuff....god damn it...it was a set-up, already planned in advance... i was not using my brain... now i don't give a shit to anything.

so i was dumb enough to say that i saw hui yuan.... stood in the queue being dragged out by the sleeve by you. not enough iq to stick out my hand. too shock to chase after you.... damn it. it's over... you went down the escalator quickly as you planned. so fast that you were gone. xiao yang came with the explanation, then hui yuan with the soft toy.

the speech you were suppose to give, was said by xiao yang. she claimed that you did not know what to say, or how to say it. indicating you would be embarrassed if you said it. since when did you ever need a messenger. you had been doing things your own way. getting message across your style. the soft toy hui yuan held on to, is to show that you did not want to owe me anything.... that's a good idea... but i need a face to face explanation will do... it ain't too much to ask for right? xiao yang continued that at first you also thought that this was going to last long, but then you had grown tired. tired of this. something like you could not feel anything... tired and a burden. for me... i only can say "get used to it" since when everything was created to be smooth sailing. nothing is that easy. many times i felt that, but i remain quite about it. you didn't want to hear it so it was not heard of. many time that i had "eaten vinegar" due to the fact that i did not know certain thing. i admit that i did cry becuz of this.... you always say "be a man" yup... i took the news, thinking over it, not acting on the first impulse. [this thing is also planned] but who said that we are not allowed to cry. i could tell that you were tired the decrease in your sms can show it.... but what could i do.... maybe if that day i gave chase, would it be better? i never treated this as fun and game, that's why i kept quiet when i felt that i was tired. i continued on.
xiao yang siad that you were serious about this. from the starting. yes, i could tell. if you ain't serious, you would not feel anything. you would not have the tired feeling.

then xiao yang continued to the main point. the age thing. she said you and your mum came to sg and being in a foreign land was not easy. you needed someone who you could depend on, someone older. some one more mature and relaible. so this means that you neede someone more mature in thinking. a person age does not reflects the thinking they have. what i've done in school is the kiddo side. the part where it is still innocent and naive. the screwed-up part, was never shown. what's the point of acting like an adult treating things so seriously. i doubt that i will live past 60 and the only way to past life now is to be cheerful. i don't want you to be freaked out by this part of me. i had watched my kindergarden friend meet with an accident. i could not remember whether he live or die. i had had seen how people play strategic way on human relationship to get what they want. knowing that what kind of society out there makes me hope that i could continue studying not going out to work. usually sad news of death struck me... maybe be upset about it... maybe a few tears, but overnight, it is gone. but this two-word news had made me cried since yesterday till now. who wants to show the one they loved, the screwed up side of them. so i kept it away from you. the fact that we were still schooling... i could not change it. yes we are schooling, the burden of homework and test, the feeling of "tired" was an extra burden. an optional burden. i always said not to be distracted by this. not making it affect the studies, but i was all the time distracted. i thought i could blocked out the emotion, but i couldn't.

and thus like that you were gone... i really hope it was a joke, but it ain't. so after xiao yang left. i took the soft toy and headed for the toilet.. called cherp to come. cried for don't know how long, till cherp came from amk to bishan... went to watch [$ no enough 2] treating it as an neutralizer. the funny part, i could not laugh. the sad part, i could not cry... why cry over the movie when there is something more upset to cry about.

i remembered my teacher saying that his friend grief over the break up for 7 years... maybe i belong to that kind. 7 years may be to long. 7 month or 7 week. reached home, pretended to be bathing while i was crying. the sound of water was able to cover up my cries. went to tuition... so emo that i could not think. just basicly copying everything. came home, went to sleep early, crying under the blanket. early morning at about 4-5am, woke up, could not sleep. everytime i closed my eyes then i started crying again. i once read a book and it stated that an average person cries many times. i wondered how it get to such a huge number, now i know. the happy times was over... now the emo period. maybe you had time to prepare to break the news. but i wasn't given any. it isn't fair. now i understand how the artist get inspiration for their songs... if i was 18+ i would get myself drunk. from april fools till the start of olympic. the time spent was nice. many thing i wanted to say, wanted to do , but did not have the chance. it was a short, happy moment. sad, emo. so emo that it affected my injuries on my ribs. don't break can? a long pause will do. very long pause. i'm still watching my sassy girl. solo.

watched the trailer in cinema.... will be watching... nice mah.



MY SASSY GIRL--IN THEATRES: August 26, 2008
funny...



how the hell this band get their inspiration for this song???



the live ver.

then zhi hui just came with the hp camera and snap snap.... i'm toasted.

2 aug flag day:
reach sch... yan ru also there. the teacher want volunteer with the can giving. me and yan ru go, when only need one. then everyone else follow. then call zeke to switch with us. mr ang asked why, ans is "part time, change shift." get can, go out to serangoon circle there. on the way to interchange, got my first donation. went with ernest, yan ru and samuel lim. that ernest brought some coin from home... home donation. so he got headstart. then at interchage practise asking for donation... ernest hardly get any. then got one small indian girl just approach me to give donation, when we standing in a group. ernest a bit the mad with me... i work well with kiddos. the parrent sure must give. then go serangoon circle.... go there get some donation... kept jay walking.... ernest say he must cross road by the pedestrian crossing... [screw the spelling] then very bored, i suggest go library. yan ru said toa payoh. go there was also screwed. got whitely secondary sch. then damn shit. go fair price buy 1.5 litre of green tea... after some time, lim say go plaza sing to get donation. go dohby gaut, saw zheng yong and jamie there, but they very little donation. left one hour, so no choice, very thick skin... asked for donation like siao. not bad lah... quite heavy.

ppl who donate:
-elderly.
-group of girls shopping.
-japanese: they emptied all their coins into sam lim tin.
-very few caucasian
-parents with kids.
-boy/girl friend: only those who are holding hands, putting their hands around the waist.

tourist hardly donated!!! ms tan was wrong....

then after that go out with her... need not explain who... got pic liao. go watch "the mummy" go arcade... makan shop, go home. this time never count the spending... now need one month to recuperate. financial and health.