this is part 1



this is part 2



retake 1



retake 2

i did not know why, but i finally broken down, those cold feeling were gone for that time, and for he first time after about two years, i cried. after so many years, i took stuff for granted and only then i realise how close i am to losing something so valuable, the person that help me survive those terrible time and when i thought about how easy is it to lose that person, i broke down.
i knew i can't survive without that person , but i dared not approach her. the cold blooded creature finally cried...
it is only something, nicoldemus, clement, jee yong could understand.
-not in this class

wah so fucked up, everything in the fucking lit case is all i do, the girls will be going to have a fucking nice time in holidays while i do the shit. later they will tell me i did everything and did not give them any thing to do.... yeah yeah so what , i don't do then you will do? fuckers and baboon. at night, listenng to the video as zheng yong speak so soft and delayed reaction to the video wasted about 2-3 mins, cut them out, finished liao, down stairs got funeral, next block got malay wedding then next block got funeral again, so lame, screw the inventor of microphone, all thanks to him, i can't sleep at night..... wished i was the one in the coffin, die dying dead death, four useful words... to describe everything any where...

with an empty stomach and headache, my dad told me to run six round aroung the stadium and at the end of it, he stills scolds me, for not doing better. oih, i had finished six rounds okay, i'm exhausted. outside the toilet he told me about GIVING MORE THAN 100% OF WHAT I CAN DO, give my mum moral support.... hellooo, eh when i run, you never give moral support nor give any support when i do anything what the fuck you expect, you tell me lah....... i ain't a robot/ andrew-like, i got a little feeling ok!, although much is destroied through your everyday 'talk' leaving this coldness, i never feel the lack of sercurity as i did not have any in the first place, thus why so i give a damn about how others feel if they are going to be in my life for a few years. i'm more dissapointed in you than you are,

you ask me how many hours i studied in the morning and i replied 3hr, it was 3.30 then. hello again, you asked for morning not till you came back other wise it would be 5.5hr you mama, how dare you still say i never do my part. i woke up at 8.30 in morning and studied till then , yet you still dare to complian screw it.

i wished that there is a way to be dead temporary. if you can't die then how, you try to die, but before you can do it, a little hope appear and you live in that hell for some time then you die again .... the process of die dying dead death is SUPERB man, aafter that you're just an empty shell, empty, hollow. so every day, every second, every hour, it is just die die die die die die die die die dying then take the last breath, dead, finally peace, nothing to harm oneself, eternal peace, owning your own coffin forever without paying for it... its free, and that is good. the good point for money saver

every thing could be so simple at times, it is just four words


DIE DYING DEAD DEATH