Broken Thoughts After Harvey

My mind is filled.
My mind cannot fathom how this happened.
My mind constantly finds it's way back to interceding for those who have lost everything and for those who are serving.
My mind reflects on my thoughts of Harvey.

The brewing of a storm.

The preparation that is made to ensure safety.

The desperate attempts to flee.

The anticipation of the deluge of rain and the winds that flow.

It begins. 

It does not seem to have an end.

It begins to take a toll on the body, mind, and spirit.

It does not relent and presses on for days.

Silence.

Silence sets in.

Silence becomes frightening and filled with uncertainty.

Silence is the result of a loss of words.

Hopeless.

Hopeless is the feeling of a family who lost all that they have known in just a few days.

Hopeless is the person who sits at home hundreds of miles away wanting to help.

Hopeless is the person without the hope that is found in Christ.
"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
    on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, We wait in hope for the Lord;
    he is our help and our shield." Psalm 33:18, 20

Overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed are the first responders, officials, and electricians who serve tirelessly.

Overwhelmed is the family who wakes each morning in a shelter to realize that this isn't a dream.

Overwhelmed is the person that wasn't affected by the storm in facing the flood of needs staring them in the face.

Perseverance.

Perseverance is the ability to push beyond what one thought was possible.

Perseverance is the husband of a pregnant mother staying on a roof for hours with a white sheet trying to be rescued.

Perseverance are the people that sit in shelters days on end patiently waiting to figure out what is next.

Unity.

Unity is the scene of hundreds of civilians lining up with boats to provide water rescue assistance.

Unity is people of all races, religions, and nationalities rushing to save those in need.

Unity is crying with those who suffer and searching for those who are lost.

Thankfulness.

Thankfulness is found in the form of a helicopter, a boat, a drink of water.

Thankfulness is found in the eyes of a survivor that is given a fresh change of clothes.

Thankfulness is found in the eyes of a child that is given something to comfort them.

Love.

Love transcends trials when one gives of themselves in order to see another thrive.

Love is found in the selfless acts and the material things that money can't buy.

Love wins. Love breaks down walls. Love binds what was broken.
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
Romans 12:10

Hope.
Hope arises when prayers are lifted, hands are joined in hard work, and giving is abundant.
Hope is found in a simple word of encouragement from the Word of Life.
Hope is multiplied when others give outside of themselves in order that others may live.

Harvey.
Harvey came and destroyed.
Harvey unified a state and a nation that was quickly tearing at the seams.
Harvey will not break our spirits or win in the end. 
The ultimate hope and victory for all of us is found in the One Creator of Heaven and Earth, 
Jesus Christ...in Him alone. He is our Rock, our Salvation, and our Hope.

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."
Psalm 18:2

Being A Mom To A Boy...

This blog may not settle on many hearts and minds in a happy or agreeable manner, but I have to put my heart on paper and pray for change.

On August 18, 2006, I was honored with the arrival of our first son, Easton. I had no idea what kind of adventures awaited my life when this little boy came into the world. Everyone always told me that boys were so much different than girls, soon I believed them.

Boys are so different than girls and they are so amazing and precious in their own ways. My Easton, lives with a football in his hands or a receiving glove on his hand. He is always ready to play football, soccer, run, jump on the trampoline, or build a fort. He loves to read, play board games, and most of all he loves to serve others and wants others to be happy. He does love to push the boundaries and prank his Mama every once in a while, to which I nod, smile, and appreciate his creative ways that he shows he loves me.

My daughters are special too. The way that they love and the things that they love are just as admirable. But these thoughts are about my boy child.

As a Mama of a boy, I am troubled. I am saddened. I am frustrated. I am confused.
Recently, I was trying to find a good book series in a Christian book store for boys. The selection was very slim and it bothered me. As a family, (due to the nature of our mission experience) we do not read Harry Potter books, so that is not an option for my son. Then I began to think about new animated films about boys or targeted at boys and all I could come up with were "Up", "Cars", "How To Train Your Dragon", "Kung Fu Panda". Then I thought about the animated movies about girls or targeted at girls and I was even more sad for the lack of focus and entertainment focused on boys. Then it dawned on me that really the only branch of entertainment that is truly boy focused is video games. So, I thought about TV shows, what TV series has a leading male role where he is the leader and not co-leading with a woman? What show allows a man to be a man without being made fun of or being made to seem foolish and ignorant? (Then I remembered why I really only watch British shows. Sherlock. Doctor Who, etc.) Even sports are inundated with women, women half dressed and provocatively dressed. That makes it hard to teach him to be pure and to turn his eyes.

I then turned my attention to the church and thought about what programs or Bible studies are written for boys. Upward. And back in the day RAs or Royal Ambassadors. And a book by Dannah Gresh, John Luke Robertson and a Knight series. Now, I was on the verge of crying for my boy. The church is a woman's place. What is there for boys and men? My husband has struggled to plug into the church because the only thing for men seem to be an occasional men's breakfast and a fish fry.

Why are we alienating men and boys? Why has our society made women so much more valuable and important? God created men to lead. God created them to be the spiritual leaders of our homes and for women to be their help meet. They are being pushed aside by feminism and women's rights. I am sad. I love my father, husband, and son so much and I want them to see their worth and feel valuable by society like I do!

I am a woman. I am pro-life. I am woman that is proud of who God created me to be. I am a woman that is proud of the role that God intended for men. What will this society look like in 10 years when my son is 20 and he is trying to get a job? Will he be able to succeed or will he be the minority? Why can't we value women and men equally?

Women, I challenge you not to push your men to the side and make them feel like they are inferior but praise them, encourage them and challenge them to be who God created them to be. Champion their manliness. Men like to be loud, crazy, and have some fun....and that's okay. Boys push boundaries, get dirty, sometimes break important valuable items, love them anyway it is just stuff. I want to start a movement to encourage boys to be boys and to love who they are in Christ Jesus. I want them to know that the church is not alienating them, they are valuable. May we as women make a concerted effort to see the gifts and talents God has given the men in our lives and champion those gifts. Men have more uses than keeping the yard, taking out the trash, and moving heavy objects. They have a heart, emotions, dreams, and desires, but do we take the time to nurture those things as wives and mothers?

My heart is saddened, but I know that God is bigger. I desire that our society will begin to focus on our men a little more than what they are right now. God made each and every person with an amazing mind and remarkable gifts, now it is up to us to see those things and value them.

Same Me, New Year

On the 365th day of each year, everyone has a flood of memories of the passing year and a deluge of new goals, dreams, and resolutions. That 365th day feels like that split second when the hides behind the horizon and we anxiously anticipate the sliver of light that peers over the horizon hours later. We anticipate the genesis of the year with incredible gusto and determination. We dive in head first desiring to be better, to be more, and to accomplish goals that we set to live well. Then the evening of the first day of that new year arrives and we already feel like we have let ourselves down because we didn't accomplish all of the steps to reach the new goals. We live in a cycle of excitement, defeat, frustration, and disappointment.

I have never been a big resolution maker, because I know myself. I know that I stink at dedication and I stink at being disciplined in areas of my life that I know need it the most. I don't set an expectation so that I don't disappoint myself. I am okay with being mediocre. I am fine with the inconsistencies. Until now. I am tired of being undisciplined. Worn out from running around desiring to accomplish goals that take time and diligence and wondering why I feel so disappointed. I am my own worst enemy. In the beginning, things are exciting and new. Halfway through things are normal and mundane and I wonder why I am doing this to begin with. Did I set this goal because my friend challenged me to do this? Did I do this so that I can claim one more victory? Did I do this to become a better human being in the eyes of other human beings? Or am I doing this because I have a higher calling and it is not about me.

May 1995, I set a goal to run 500 miles over the summer. In May, the running was fun, easy, and exhilarating. In June, the running was more of a chore intermingled with a slice of excitement. Running at 7:00 a.m. at the beach with my Dad on family vacation wasn't the most exciting, but it was the difference in average and above average. In July, the running was painful. My body was tired and wanted to give up, but the cheerful voices of my teammates running with me kept me going and was the song in my heart. The deadline arrived in the humid, hot, sluggish days of August. I accomplished this lofty goal on the streets of my hometown. There was no parade, no crowd, no bystanders handing me Gatorade or a medal. In my heart, I had won.

Those miles and that goal ring clearly in my heart and mind each time this year. That is one time in my life when I set a goal and stuck with it. At this time in my life, I need more Summer of 1995 kind of goals. These goals need to be more focused on becoming the follower of Christ that I need to be. When I can get those spiritual disciplines in line, the rest will follow. The spiritual discipline that I have become so weak in has been prayer.

Recently, the Lord has been really hitting home with me my lack of dedication and discipline in this area. While on the mission field, prayer was a no-brainer. I NEEDED that time. I NEEDED to tell the Lord all that I loved about Him and to intercede on behalf of so many people. America has weakened my knees and blinded my heart. My prayers are frail and sporadic. It is not because of a geographical change in my life, it is because of a spiritual change in my own heart. Decrease of faith and dependency on Him for everything.

January 1, 2017...no, my goals are not written on my mirror, a poster on my wall, or on a post-it-note in my Bible. My goals are written on my heart. These goals are Christ driven goals. They have been placed on my heart by the Creator of my heart. He has convicted and driven me to desire to be more disciplined and determined in order to hear, see, and do what He calls me to. At the end of the day all of our goals should be for no one else, but Him. If you are a wife, husband, mother, father....God has given you all of those positions, you didn't create them yourself. Therefore, if your goal is to be better at that, then know it is because your Creator God has blessed you with that position, so do it well!

Don't set goals to impress others. Set goals in order to be more like Christ. Our goal everyday, all day, is to be driven by Christ in order to be the person He has created us to be. Do that well, and everything else will fall behind. Stay focused this year and don't beat yourself up if you miss a day of a goal you have set. It is okay to mess up every once in a while. If setting a list of goals is a daunting task, then pray about a word that defines the areas that you are weak in. A word is something we can study, focus on, pray about, and testify to God working that word in our lives.

My word for this year is diligence. The verse that the Lord has laid on my heart is 2 Peter 1:5-7

"Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love."

As we embark into this new year, none of us know what lies ahead. Let us join hands with our feeble hands and imperfect hearts and march onward together. Encourage one another, lift each other up, and challenge each other on to good deeds in Christ Jesus. In that simple way, we can make 2017 one of the best!