Back Again

 Dear Reader,

   I was sitting here and remembering the times I had as a missionary in Zambia. What a blessing.......but the Master isn't finished painting His mosaic in my life: 

    During this time of year as we near spring weeds often find plenty of food to grow. They often grow more quickly than the grass and just make the yard look ugly. A lot of times (because I get lazy) I try to remove the weeds by mowing the grass more frequently until the grass has time to grow and choke the weeds out. However, this doesn't work on all kinds of weeds. Some weeds have deep roots that can reach a good source of food to help them survive so they just grow right back. Those kind of weeds you have to dig up the roots before you can fully remove them.

    Sin is like a weed....it grows and makes you ugly on the inside and the more we feed it the deeper it's roots grow in us. We like to just mow it down, but like a weed it just grows right back. The only way to remove sin is dig up its root within you. So we turn to God's word in Proverbs 3:7 and it says "Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil." (NASB 1995). That is how to dig up the root of sin, by turning away from it. Get into God's word and read it daily....find out what it has to say about sin and change your life accordingly. Jesus said multiple times in His life to "follow Him" this is the only way to cut out the roots of sin in your life......by following Jesus.

    As the spring is quickly upon us..... believe in the LORD Jesus.....turn away from sin....and enjoy life with Him through the thick and thin. I pray God blesses you during this season.

Signed,

A Piece of the Master's Mosaic

Seasons

Seasons

There was a season when I was a young girl, the daughter to a minister and a teacher. I attended church every time the doors were open. I was carefree and hopeful.

There was a season when I was an independent college student paying my way through college with an athletic scholarship. I was determined.

There was a season when I was a single broken hearted college graduate that often times felt dizzy and lost only clinging to what I believed. I was searching.

There was a season when I was no longer alone because my best friend was now my soul mate. I was complete.

There was a season that I was a tired overwhelmed young mother who never felt like I was really doing anything right. I was downtrodden.

There was a season when I was called out of my comfort zone to a hot, dry, rainy, cold distant land. I was lonely yet fulfilled.

There was a season when I was a nurse, teacher, chef, disciple maker. I was needed.

There was a season that I truly felt as if I had no worth, no identity, a job hunter seeking to ground my roots all the while nurturing young hearts. I was worthless.

There was a season that I was on top of the world educating the future, coaching a sport that I loved. I was encouraged.

There was a season that I felt like I had been left alone on an abandoned road with no hope of being rescued. I was selfish.

There was a season that I felt overcome with all that I needed and decided to give more. I was selfless.

There was a time that I tasted a bit of the darkness and started to be comfortable with my little dips away from the light. I was distracted.

There was a season that I felt dirty from the darkness, angry, frustrated, and completely hypocritical. I was sinful.

There was a season that I was tired of being beat down, under appreciated, and abused. I was hurt.

There was a season that I was fed up, ready for change, determined, disciplined.....I was honest.

There was a season that I remembered pouring into others means being filled yourself. I was humbled.

Seasons of life are an ebb and flow of good/bad, hurt/restoration, joy/pain, dark/light, and so much more. We all go through seasons of life and wonder when that season will end. Often times it is us that needs to change in order for the season to change.

Seeing the need for water in order for the blooms to mature. Seeing the need for a dry spell in order for the flooding to cease. Seeing the need for an increase in the temperature to slow time down and increase growth.

I have been in and through these seasons more than one time in life. Discipline, focus, and faith in Jesus Christ are the only things that have changed my seasons. Recently, my Winter turned to Spring...I can honestly say that it took a great deal of confession, repentance, and patience to get me out of that season. Don't blame the season...learn the lesson that needs to come from the season and use it as you move to the next one. Life is full of seasons, many lessons to learn and many people to meet along the way. Embrace the journey and the seasons.

Broken Thoughts After Harvey

My mind is filled.
My mind cannot fathom how this happened.
My mind constantly finds it's way back to interceding for those who have lost everything and for those who are serving.
My mind reflects on my thoughts of Harvey.

The brewing of a storm.

The preparation that is made to ensure safety.

The desperate attempts to flee.

The anticipation of the deluge of rain and the winds that flow.

It begins. 

It does not seem to have an end.

It begins to take a toll on the body, mind, and spirit.

It does not relent and presses on for days.

Silence.

Silence sets in.

Silence becomes frightening and filled with uncertainty.

Silence is the result of a loss of words.

Hopeless.

Hopeless is the feeling of a family who lost all that they have known in just a few days.

Hopeless is the person who sits at home hundreds of miles away wanting to help.

Hopeless is the person without the hope that is found in Christ.
"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
    on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, We wait in hope for the Lord;
    he is our help and our shield." Psalm 33:18, 20

Overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed are the first responders, officials, and electricians who serve tirelessly.

Overwhelmed is the family who wakes each morning in a shelter to realize that this isn't a dream.

Overwhelmed is the person that wasn't affected by the storm in facing the flood of needs staring them in the face.

Perseverance.

Perseverance is the ability to push beyond what one thought was possible.

Perseverance is the husband of a pregnant mother staying on a roof for hours with a white sheet trying to be rescued.

Perseverance are the people that sit in shelters days on end patiently waiting to figure out what is next.

Unity.

Unity is the scene of hundreds of civilians lining up with boats to provide water rescue assistance.

Unity is people of all races, religions, and nationalities rushing to save those in need.

Unity is crying with those who suffer and searching for those who are lost.

Thankfulness.

Thankfulness is found in the form of a helicopter, a boat, a drink of water.

Thankfulness is found in the eyes of a survivor that is given a fresh change of clothes.

Thankfulness is found in the eyes of a child that is given something to comfort them.

Love.

Love transcends trials when one gives of themselves in order to see another thrive.

Love is found in the selfless acts and the material things that money can't buy.

Love wins. Love breaks down walls. Love binds what was broken.
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
Romans 12:10

Hope.
Hope arises when prayers are lifted, hands are joined in hard work, and giving is abundant.
Hope is found in a simple word of encouragement from the Word of Life.
Hope is multiplied when others give outside of themselves in order that others may live.

Harvey.
Harvey came and destroyed.
Harvey unified a state and a nation that was quickly tearing at the seams.
Harvey will not break our spirits or win in the end. 
The ultimate hope and victory for all of us is found in the One Creator of Heaven and Earth, 
Jesus Christ...in Him alone. He is our Rock, our Salvation, and our Hope.

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."
Psalm 18:2

Being A Mom To A Boy...

This blog may not settle on many hearts and minds in a happy or agreeable manner, but I have to put my heart on paper and pray for change.

On August 18, 2006, I was honored with the arrival of our first son, Easton. I had no idea what kind of adventures awaited my life when this little boy came into the world. Everyone always told me that boys were so much different than girls, soon I believed them.

Boys are so different than girls and they are so amazing and precious in their own ways. My Easton, lives with a football in his hands or a receiving glove on his hand. He is always ready to play football, soccer, run, jump on the trampoline, or build a fort. He loves to read, play board games, and most of all he loves to serve others and wants others to be happy. He does love to push the boundaries and prank his Mama every once in a while, to which I nod, smile, and appreciate his creative ways that he shows he loves me.

My daughters are special too. The way that they love and the things that they love are just as admirable. But these thoughts are about my boy child.

As a Mama of a boy, I am troubled. I am saddened. I am frustrated. I am confused.
Recently, I was trying to find a good book series in a Christian book store for boys. The selection was very slim and it bothered me. As a family, (due to the nature of our mission experience) we do not read Harry Potter books, so that is not an option for my son. Then I began to think about new animated films about boys or targeted at boys and all I could come up with were "Up", "Cars", "How To Train Your Dragon", "Kung Fu Panda". Then I thought about the animated movies about girls or targeted at girls and I was even more sad for the lack of focus and entertainment focused on boys. Then it dawned on me that really the only branch of entertainment that is truly boy focused is video games. So, I thought about TV shows, what TV series has a leading male role where he is the leader and not co-leading with a woman? What show allows a man to be a man without being made fun of or being made to seem foolish and ignorant? (Then I remembered why I really only watch British shows. Sherlock. Doctor Who, etc.) Even sports are inundated with women, women half dressed and provocatively dressed. That makes it hard to teach him to be pure and to turn his eyes.

I then turned my attention to the church and thought about what programs or Bible studies are written for boys. Upward. And back in the day RAs or Royal Ambassadors. And a book by Dannah Gresh, John Luke Robertson and a Knight series. Now, I was on the verge of crying for my boy. The church is a woman's place. What is there for boys and men? My husband has struggled to plug into the church because the only thing for men seem to be an occasional men's breakfast and a fish fry.

Why are we alienating men and boys? Why has our society made women so much more valuable and important? God created men to lead. God created them to be the spiritual leaders of our homes and for women to be their help meet. They are being pushed aside by feminism and women's rights. I am sad. I love my father, husband, and son so much and I want them to see their worth and feel valuable by society like I do!

I am a woman. I am pro-life. I am woman that is proud of who God created me to be. I am a woman that is proud of the role that God intended for men. What will this society look like in 10 years when my son is 20 and he is trying to get a job? Will he be able to succeed or will he be the minority? Why can't we value women and men equally?

Women, I challenge you not to push your men to the side and make them feel like they are inferior but praise them, encourage them and challenge them to be who God created them to be. Champion their manliness. Men like to be loud, crazy, and have some fun....and that's okay. Boys push boundaries, get dirty, sometimes break important valuable items, love them anyway it is just stuff. I want to start a movement to encourage boys to be boys and to love who they are in Christ Jesus. I want them to know that the church is not alienating them, they are valuable. May we as women make a concerted effort to see the gifts and talents God has given the men in our lives and champion those gifts. Men have more uses than keeping the yard, taking out the trash, and moving heavy objects. They have a heart, emotions, dreams, and desires, but do we take the time to nurture those things as wives and mothers?

My heart is saddened, but I know that God is bigger. I desire that our society will begin to focus on our men a little more than what they are right now. God made each and every person with an amazing mind and remarkable gifts, now it is up to us to see those things and value them.

Same Me, New Year

On the 365th day of each year, everyone has a flood of memories of the passing year and a deluge of new goals, dreams, and resolutions. That 365th day feels like that split second when the hides behind the horizon and we anxiously anticipate the sliver of light that peers over the horizon hours later. We anticipate the genesis of the year with incredible gusto and determination. We dive in head first desiring to be better, to be more, and to accomplish goals that we set to live well. Then the evening of the first day of that new year arrives and we already feel like we have let ourselves down because we didn't accomplish all of the steps to reach the new goals. We live in a cycle of excitement, defeat, frustration, and disappointment.

I have never been a big resolution maker, because I know myself. I know that I stink at dedication and I stink at being disciplined in areas of my life that I know need it the most. I don't set an expectation so that I don't disappoint myself. I am okay with being mediocre. I am fine with the inconsistencies. Until now. I am tired of being undisciplined. Worn out from running around desiring to accomplish goals that take time and diligence and wondering why I feel so disappointed. I am my own worst enemy. In the beginning, things are exciting and new. Halfway through things are normal and mundane and I wonder why I am doing this to begin with. Did I set this goal because my friend challenged me to do this? Did I do this so that I can claim one more victory? Did I do this to become a better human being in the eyes of other human beings? Or am I doing this because I have a higher calling and it is not about me.

May 1995, I set a goal to run 500 miles over the summer. In May, the running was fun, easy, and exhilarating. In June, the running was more of a chore intermingled with a slice of excitement. Running at 7:00 a.m. at the beach with my Dad on family vacation wasn't the most exciting, but it was the difference in average and above average. In July, the running was painful. My body was tired and wanted to give up, but the cheerful voices of my teammates running with me kept me going and was the song in my heart. The deadline arrived in the humid, hot, sluggish days of August. I accomplished this lofty goal on the streets of my hometown. There was no parade, no crowd, no bystanders handing me Gatorade or a medal. In my heart, I had won.

Those miles and that goal ring clearly in my heart and mind each time this year. That is one time in my life when I set a goal and stuck with it. At this time in my life, I need more Summer of 1995 kind of goals. These goals need to be more focused on becoming the follower of Christ that I need to be. When I can get those spiritual disciplines in line, the rest will follow. The spiritual discipline that I have become so weak in has been prayer.

Recently, the Lord has been really hitting home with me my lack of dedication and discipline in this area. While on the mission field, prayer was a no-brainer. I NEEDED that time. I NEEDED to tell the Lord all that I loved about Him and to intercede on behalf of so many people. America has weakened my knees and blinded my heart. My prayers are frail and sporadic. It is not because of a geographical change in my life, it is because of a spiritual change in my own heart. Decrease of faith and dependency on Him for everything.

January 1, 2017...no, my goals are not written on my mirror, a poster on my wall, or on a post-it-note in my Bible. My goals are written on my heart. These goals are Christ driven goals. They have been placed on my heart by the Creator of my heart. He has convicted and driven me to desire to be more disciplined and determined in order to hear, see, and do what He calls me to. At the end of the day all of our goals should be for no one else, but Him. If you are a wife, husband, mother, father....God has given you all of those positions, you didn't create them yourself. Therefore, if your goal is to be better at that, then know it is because your Creator God has blessed you with that position, so do it well!

Don't set goals to impress others. Set goals in order to be more like Christ. Our goal everyday, all day, is to be driven by Christ in order to be the person He has created us to be. Do that well, and everything else will fall behind. Stay focused this year and don't beat yourself up if you miss a day of a goal you have set. It is okay to mess up every once in a while. If setting a list of goals is a daunting task, then pray about a word that defines the areas that you are weak in. A word is something we can study, focus on, pray about, and testify to God working that word in our lives.

My word for this year is diligence. The verse that the Lord has laid on my heart is 2 Peter 1:5-7

"Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love."

As we embark into this new year, none of us know what lies ahead. Let us join hands with our feeble hands and imperfect hearts and march onward together. Encourage one another, lift each other up, and challenge each other on to good deeds in Christ Jesus. In that simple way, we can make 2017 one of the best!

Is This All?

Sometimes the desires in your heart are greater than what you can seem to physically attain. Sometimes getting from A to B is harder than it sounds because after you take one step towards B you lose confidence or wonder why you are doing what you are doing.
Wandering aimlessly in your mind never being able to settle can cause us to lose heart or to even wonder if we are obeying what God has called us to do. Others come alongside you and say, "what you are doing has worth, you are doing excellent!" Their words are heard but sometimes you still feel like something is missing.

This has been a struggle in my heart for some time now. We love our home, our job, and our friends, but I find myself asking, "is this all? I know that God has created me for more. Where am I falling short?" Being 37 years old, I don't feel old, but my life seems to be passing me by. Is it wrong to feel that there is more in life? I don't want the fancy car, the huge house, or vacations at 5 star hotels. I just want to live according to what God has called me to do. Maybe along the way of getting on God's course for your life you have to have some pit stops along the way.

Leaving Africa was hard. Coming back to America...harder. It has been almost 4 years now since we returned and the reverse culture shock has been more than we could have ever imagined. Those missionaries that preceded us told us of the struggles, but until you live them you can't understand. Fitting in can be hard. Finding your place. Feeling like you belong again. Fervently praying that your kids will adapt and not be too different to fit in. Many friends have reached out to us and walked with us through some trying times. Although they may not have always understood what we were saying or feeling they were there. Going from being a missionary in Africa to a school teacher can seem to some like a step down. To me, I see it the same, different people group, different culture.

I wonder how many people out of the 7 billion people on earth feel like they are missing something in life. I wonder how many people feel that they were created for more but can't get there. What would we be willing to surrender and risk in order to be obedient. I was reminded this morning in worship that are are called to obedience. We have jobs to make a living but we are to be obedient to the Lord because He will provide for us. The Lord gently whispered to me, "Joy, what if I called you back overseas?" The tears welled up in my eyes and I began to run through the logistics of school, college, packing, and if we ever did return. The thoughts were overwhelming then the word blared in my pounding head...FAITH. We are called. We are called to serve where He has planted us. Right now, it is Texas. Next year, it may be Texas or around the world. But today, I choose to look around to serve and love as Christ has loved me. Stop worrying about more. Stop worrying about being the best mom, teacher, father, coach...OBEY and do everything as if doing it for the Lord. Jesus commands us not to worry. So I choose to abide in peace and to cease striving after the wind.

The road is not easy. The world will tell you that you need another certification and another job and another promotion. What truly matters is Jesus. He created you for a purpose. Live that purpose and that charge with passion and with love.

"Let all that you do be done in love," 1 Corinthians 16:14

"Whatever  you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men..." 

Colossians 3:23

“Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created.”

Revelation 4:11

Justice

My students at the school have been diligently working on an essay about a time that they had to overcome a barrier in their lives. For some, it was quite simple to pinpoint that one time in their lives when they had to push through and overcome. For others, it was quite a struggle. The struggle to choose a specific time when they had to overcome. Another perspective of the fight was putting the deep groanings of their heart on paper and truly illustrate their desire to continue to overcome. The essay that pricked my heart came from a student that has overcome many obstacles, and yet he has challenged me. I pray that his words are an encouragement and a challenge to all who read it.

Justice

 Justice is punishing what is wrong and rewarding what is right.  In God's sight, justice is punishing sin and rewarding the righteous.

 When you have justice, you have something to fight for.  I started fighting for God when I came to the U.S. from Ethiopia, which is located in the horn of Africa.  While I was fighting for God, I faced many temptations.  I went through scary things:  visions, dreams, and I had tough choices between right and wrong.  The temptations I faced were jealousy, lying, stealing, and so much more.  The scary things (visions and dreams) are when I saw the devil in my dreams and visions that happened when I am about to fall asleep. The choices were even harder for me because whatever I thought was right turned out to be wrong.  When I was going through these hard times I prayed to God that He would help me out of these temptations, scary things, and tough choices.  

 Another thing that happens when you are fighting for God is that you will struggle with sin.  Sin is what God hates, but He already defeated sin.  When I sin I just ask God for forgiveness so I can start a new chapter.  Sometimes when I do something bad and I know I am in big trouble, I just feel like I am in some kind of darkness because I think about what my punishment is and what God would do to me.  Another thing is I'll start having a bad feeling about what I did and why I did it.  Darkness and bad feelings become a habit when I sin big against somebody.  The only thing I can ask God is that I'll get out of this mess that I made and that He will forgive me.  

 After God was helpful by helping me out of the mess I was in and forgave me, everything went easy for me because God was with me and He was being helpful.  Then I began to have joy because God was working through me and I felt His helpful hand on me.  Then, finally everything was peaceful because God made it and God had already won the battle and I don't have to worry about it.  

 In conclusion, a barrier that I face daily is being tempted to sin.  When you are fighting for God the devil tries hard to destroy you, but God is in charge of the devil.  Sin cannot stop me from fighting for God because God has already destroyed sin and God is powerful.  When you are fighting for God, He is helpful, strong, kind, graceful, and He gives you blessings and freedom.  

 Justice is punishing what is wrong and rewarding what is right.  In God's sight, justice is punishing sin and rewarding the righteous.  

*used by permission of the student author