We're gonna play no matter what they say.

Wow, I really miss my friends back home.

Be a body.

Maybe I'd stop obsessing about boys who don't

call me anymore, boys who only flirt

with possibility and promise,

boys who appreciate my body and my mind, yes,

but in that order,

and manage to finagle my heart into the deal.

Yeah, maybe I'd stop if

Ezra Miller gave me a call.

 There are a million girls in Montreal,

so maybe you should stop fucking with me if

I'm never going to see you again.

I'm living on the moon.

Wow I don't know why I try sometimes.

Take me away from people and emotions and

making an effort and maintaining some semblance of being okay.

Edit:

Stupid 8-page paper is done (it's actually like seven and a quarter)

and I have enough time to sleep for six and a half hours but I'm just

looking at this stupid fool's face on fb, stupid before bed ritual.

We keep having these talks that he doesn't want to have

and I am just aching for something like reciprocation.

He offers up facts like: he hasn't been with anyone since me,

and that's a good one month there, but then he was drunk

when he told me this and

I guess this negates it. It doesn't mean anything,

he said, there are no intentions behind his actions.

I wish there were.

Why would you let me have

some hope for significance there?

I know your type, well-meaning but flaky,

self-preserving, indulgent.

I know the effect of you on me, how I would

do most anything if you would only

ask it of me.

I think I should let a week or two pass.

I've made hundreds of mistakes and peace with dying in my sleep

Stop letting me down.
I thought you were so cool.