I Can Never Go Home Anymore.

I honestly don't feel anything about graduating.

I wasn't even going to post anything on it,
no heartfelt essay about the times I had the past three years,
the friends I made, the stuff I did,
the things I'll miss.

It felt so transitionary, and somehow
it didn't ever become my life you know?

I wasn't invested.

I was mostly disappointed
and then, apathetic, and this turned into
dissociation from most of the people
I had to interact with daily.

In the context of school, mind you, not my whole life.

Somehow, school stayed school

and Real Life stayed Real Life.

I had friends at NP (this number has dwindled considerably,

but now sits at a nice, strong two

haha - do I have to name fingers and point names)

but they don't just remain my "poly friends",

I mean, that concept is so odd to me.

They're my Real Friends and I love them,

and I hope it remains this way always.

I'm leaving in about a month,

to College in America where I will have

New Exciting Experiences but the thought

rather depresses me right now, truthfully.

But not because I miss poly, dear god.

The next four weeks are going to go by in a stupid blur,

I'm fucking scared,

it's hardly enough time to do anything.