Until we say "goodbye" and "I'll try to see you when the weather clears".

Seeing The Starting Line (and Kenny),
(once onstage, once at the airport).
Singing along to Best of Me, Leaving and
Greg's Last Day.

14 year old me, 19 year old me.
Forever.

A white blank page (a swelling rage?)

Our nights are spent at the bowling alley

or some dingy basement with shouting bengs.
Will any of this remain after July 5 2011?

Will you ever find a fourth player?
And fuck, will I ever find three?
*

I'm getting slightly sick of being halved.
You know that analogy about people
(I don't use the word couples, cups)
being two halves of a whole?
Yeah, so, imagine that.
Imagine my side aching and
me having the inability to do half of the things

that I could normally.

I can't let this impair my judgement.
I just need to keep my head.

Fuck.

Man, oh man, you're my best friend, I scream it to the nothingness, there ain't nothing that I need.

How do you get used to be being alone?

You get both of the earbuds, scroll through your own music,

eat dinner in front of the computer, cry for about 3 minutes

and then move on to something else,

without even having to explain.

I don't have to reiterate that this isn't easy.
I don't want to be the itch, don't want to feel it either.
Just hoping by some fucking miracle that we'd always

be this tight, not giving a crap about lack of sleep

messy hair, work, state lines,

expense, angry words,

being... alone all the time.

Just know that this lonely heart

across the globe

is missing yours.