One look and you took my heart

I'm in San Francisco and it's pretty pretty pretty pretty.
Hmmm, I think it's Halloween at home today right?
BE SURE TO TAKE PICTURES FOR ME IF ANYONE'S DRESSING UP,KAY?


IN-N-OUT burgers = the best the world. GOSHHH, we've been deprived.

Brekkie at IHOP! (:

I want to live in a place like this, so I can sit out on the fire escape, and write to the sound of police sirens in the distance and maybe you would come to sit and talk with me?

Juliet: Goodnight, goodnight! Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.

NEHNEH!!!
I don't want I don't want Idon'twantIdon'twantIdon'twaaaaaaaaaaant.

Okay.
I have to leave.

SUCKSSSS.

FREE HUGS

Ccyanide again. On a mission to spread the love.

I came down for recess and saw them standing there. I grabbed cardboard and a marker.

And then we got banned, for "being disruptive and offensive".

Oh, I forgot. Mrs Ou Yang was telling us that

"You girls should try to lead a spartan lifestyle. Maintain discipline and cease to engage in frivolous activities."

So is this frivolous? Trying to make people happy?

The world is such a sad sad place.

*

Those people who supported free hugs, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.

I'll sing it one last time for you, then we really have to go

I'm looking forward to single-serving friends, the company of Andre, Disney!, Hot Topic, spotting deer through the window at four in the morning, snuggling up by the fireplace with a zillion blankets and a ton of DVDs, baking cookies with grandma, San Fran which everyone tells me is awesome, Halloween, hitting golf balls up in the woods into the junk pile, seeing baby Jack! [ who is probably no longer very baby-ish] and Evy and Nancy and Katie and Tommy and Danny and Patrick and Lily! [who I bet is GORGEOUS], waking up wondering where I am, bagels and cream cheese, sunnnnnny Florida, awesome pizza slices at Independence mall, FUSE + MTV + MTV2 + VH1, leaning against the car door looking up at the night sky because somehow it just feels different.
I'm feeling upset cause for me to do and have and feel all these things would mean that I am going to have to leave on sunday.
For a month.
And a week.

At least I know that, that night sky I mentioned?
I know you'll be looking at the very same thing.

Someone who I went to primary school with died two days ago.
And one of my ex-neighbours died yesterday.

It's weird, cause I was not close to either of them.
But it's like, they were always just there.

I would see her in class and say hi every morning, and I guess that was probably the extent of our friendship.
Saying that we'd keep in touch at graduation.
But of course we didn't.

And I'd see him every evening through my window when he came back from work.
And I'd always say hi too.
Almost everyday.
And having to endure the "Wow Taina, you've grown taller/skinner, how's school/exams/life?" every chinese new year, Christmas.

I never thought that they'd just die like that.
Makes me wonder how long I have until the guy who doles out the death cards comes to mine.

And what are people going to think of me?
Sure they knew me.
I mean, I was always just there right?
I don't think I leave a lasting impression on people.

It was kind of annoying when my mom, who used to teach my friend when she volunteered in school, found out that she was in the hospital, was all "we must go visit her" and "poor her".
I mean, poor her?
When I got angry, she accused me of having no ... compassion or something.
I was just upset that she, someone who totally didn't know her at all, was acting like she was so affected by it.
I mean, what about her parents?
They feel enough grief, there is no need for you to go and add on.
Especially when a month or so later, you'd have forgotten about her.
And those that loved her would be missing her every single day.
Okay, maybe I'm not really making sense, but that's just what I think.

And yesterday at the wake for my neighbour.
I was really confused as to how someone could just live their whole life... only to end up dead, lying in a coffin with people who practically didn't know you coming to peer in at you, tell your crying family that they're sorry, and then sit down and eat peanuts or whatever.
I don't know.

It was a really weird place for all of us neighbours to meet up.
I was sitting there trying to explain what emo was to Arthur.
Zer Ming and I kind of got the general meaning across, and then they suddenly declare that I'm emo.
Jeeze.
Yay, i'm getting an army jockey cap from Arthur!

Yeah, I think it was June

If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad

Cyanide doesn't go to school together anymore, I just realised.

It's just us left.
Just you and me Va.

I'm scared as fuck.

Stepping stones away from the limelight

Monday was shopping with Eva.

Tuesday was tanning at Sentosa with Lydia and Lifen.

Wednesday was THE ZOO with Eva and Sarah.

It's now thursday and I'm tired.

*

Remind me NEVER AGAIN to come up with crazy schemes and enlist the help of Clara. Actually, how about just no more crazy schemes.

NEVER AGAIN YOU HEAR.

Hey Miss Murder, can I?

There's this gorgeous thing called freedom, that will commence shortly for me.
At about 9.30 tomorrow morning.

Hellooo late nights and more crazy stunts out in public with my partner[s]-in-crime.

I'VE GOT A WEEK TO DO WHATEVER I WANT.
If you have a sudden urge to go out and wreck havoc on the singaporean populace, I'm your girl.

Qi Xuan gave me a shopping trolley.
Okay, she gave ZOE a shopping trolley.

*

I need a guidebook on how to hold proper conversations with people, thanks.

Headfirst for halos

So I found my guiding light
Lambent, flashing red and white
Through a starry night
I'm better nowhere-bound
Than drowning on your solid ground

Although my room is pretty, and colourful, and pretty colourful, sitting in here all day long highlighting stuff, memorising formulas and making notes can make you go crazy.

This is me fourteen years and 364 days old. I wonder if I'll be any different when I turn fifteen. You tell me okay?

*

"Are you EVER going to grow up?" They asked her.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Why don't you ask me tomorrow?"

*

If I had known then That these things happen Would they have happened with you?

I didn't think I could feel this way.

I didn't think I could feel this way about you.