Friday, 7 December 2007

???

Down, down, down.
Finding solace to curb frowns.
I am after all, living for myself!
Is it too early to wear the gown?

Sunday, 30 September 2007

On my way home. Loneliness. Building love castles with the Moon

29th September nite. On my way home, from Dear Dear's house.

i was on the train, in the midst of at least three pairs of couples. There were two pairs at each of my side, and one pair in front of me. Suddenly, i felt a tinge of loneliness. I actually feel 'loneliness' when i am in the midst of crowds, more than when i am alone.

The 14th Dalai Lama made me understood that loneliness is what u deemed it to be. When u feel human equality, when u feel that people around u are just like u, everyone is equal among everyone, u won't feel lonely. This is a rather hard 'concept' to grasp; it's only when i felt lonely, i realised the hidden meaning of it. I'm not lonely anymore. I have so many people around me! We are all equal, as we are all humans...

I was too engrossed in A-mei's vocals in her new album, Star. Did i ever say i love A-mei? Yes, i do!~

I love songs that could express my complex and yet simple feelings anytime. I love listening to those songs, and to actually sing them. I love photograhy too. Photos and songs are the best ways to let one's feelings be exposed, conveyed, and shared at the best times.

Too engrossed in her songs that i couldn't determine 100% that the 'guy' of the couple in front of me was a butch, as I couldn't hear her voice, but it's 99% confirmed. U know the characteristics of a butch. I shan't probed further. But a friend told me that the girlfriends of most 'butches' (omg, is that the correct plural word for 'butch'?) are beautiful! Not in this case though. The gal, however, looked innocent and young. She must be a student who still wears uniform to school. And they were actually wearing a pair of couple watches.

Trust me. I admire all kinds of love. The love i have with Dear Dear, love for parents, love for siblings, love for friends, love for animals, a Chinese who loves a Malay, an American who loves a South African, a butch's love, a gay's love, a lesbian's love...these are the most human nature kind of love. The underlying reason for such a love must be a romantic one.

I don't despise the couple in front of me. In fact, i admire their love towards each other. The courage that this couple has to pursue love has greatly gone beyond mine towards Dear Dear. Singapore is still a conservative society. This is already evidenced in Teo Yi-ling's book, Media Law in Singapore.

Walking home, something bright above the sky caught my drowsy eyes. Ah, the same old mid-autumn Moon was still hanging up there in a state of serenity, waiting for me to go home.

Once again, I felt blessed. My heart was full of hope and pure happiness. Wearing a light smile, i no longer felt worn out. My steps were lighter.

The Moon has given me a perfect and happy ending for the romantic nite home.

When the heart is beautiful, everything else is beautiful.

Friday, 28 September 2007

From this moment on

***FROM THIS MOMENT ON***
Written by Shania Twain & Robert John "Mutt" Lange

I do swear that I'll always be there.
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength,
happiness and sorrow,
for better, for worse,
I will love you
With every beat of my heart.

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on





Source for lyrics: http://www.shania.com/cool-5.htm

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

Thanks et!

Hey et,

Thanks for ur advice! U r right.

Actually, many a time, we tend to cling to the past and hope for the future, w/o enjoying the present. If we have not enjoyed the present, we might have never lived at all.

Reflection is something which is vital but often neglected. We are often too busy to think of that in the day, and when night comes, we'll be too tired to do that. Well, i better stop making excuses and make it a point to reflect every nite before sleep!

Prioritising is also impt. it lets us reflect on what or who should be more impt in our current stage of life, and it all depends on us on how much time we should spend on the more impt things and people. Many times we have spent too much time and effort on less impt things/people and have neglected those higher in priority. Sometimes we may have taken things for granted without knowledge. And it's not worth it at all. Or we may have made a mistake in putting 'this' as top priority, but 'that' should require more of our attention. I hope I have placed my priorities right. Time waits for no man, and if time passes, it'll be too late to have regrets.

Time management too...and yes, we can't possibly please everyone and do good in all the roles we play in our whole life. Sometimes blunders make life to be full of ups and downs, but without blunders, we may never have learnt, or enjoyed life as much.

I admit that recently, few unhappy events have happened, which make me feel emotional. Sometimes we need to take a step back and reflect on our life. Always ask, "Is this what u want?" If not, try to make time to reorganise everything to a better position. Life is full of choices.

Oh yes et, thanks for your compliment on the Genting trip post! It makes me happy to write on happy things. I could rattle on and on...haha...again, we shall be looking forward to more happy things!

One last thing - be more positive people! (",) U have a choice to make your life happier!

Sunday, 15 July 2007

My Dad

My Dad juz came back from work. Mum and sis weren't at home. They went to Muar for praying, one of the one-day trips that an auntie from the neighbouring block organises. Dad bought fried chicken wings with butter rice for my dinner, and he has the same too. Dad is always like that. He dotes on sis and i alot, and he always buys things that are our favourites or do the small little things for us. Almost half a year ago, sis has lost her pillow and Dad hand-made one for her. A couple of months back, Dad washed my bathing towel with hands, after seeing that my towel was dirty. I had wanted to replace it with a new one at first. But after seeing how white and clean my towel was, i kept it, and i'm still using it now. U muz be surprised of these little extra things that Dad has done for us! But sis and i were extremely touched.

A fren's Dad passed away just recently, and it has a great impact on me. Honestly, i have never seen her Dad before, but i can somehow feel the anguish she is in now. Yes, i have imagined how it is like if my Dad is gone. And it's not just a passing thought. I have thought about it painstakingly. In Buddhism, Buddha teaches us, human beings, that there should be no attachments on the path to Enlightenment. However, "attachments" is one of the factors why sentient beings can't let go of, and hence, they, including me, have to be in the samsara world. I can't let go of my loved ones, including my beloved Dad.

Dad used to be the typical Asian father, who is strict-looking and a man with few words. He came from a very poor family with many siblings and he is illiterate. He likes reading the Shin Min Daily everyday. A typical Virgo, he has a very monotonous and systematic lifestyle. He used to be a construction sub-contractor but he's now helping out in a coffeeshop. He has very tanned skin and muscular-built body (but the muscles are sagging..*chuckles*) due to the construction work for decades but over the years, he has added a "beer belly"..haha..a typical problem of 'uncles'.

These few years, he has become more humourous and affectionate to us. He makes really hilarious jokes based on his daily encounters with different people to us. U may not believe this, but sis n i usually kiss and hug him when he's at home! And he'll reciprocate...(",) We were afraid to do so in the past, as he's hot-tempered and he would regard it as a disgusting act.

Dad has been an active smoker for years. Frankly speaking, that's the main reason why I have imagined all the more that he would be gone someday. I'm not being superstitious here, death is part and parcel of life. It's just that people can't accept it. Whatsmore, he's no longer a young and daring chap. And he's a smoker! And after realising that the fathers of my few frens were gone, sis n i thought that we should express our love to him clearly. We don't take things for granted, not kinship especially, let alone that it's our beloved dad we are talking about here. Whatsmore, he used to work 7 days a week, without much rest and he does some household chores as well. Dad dotes on us so much that he doesn't want us to do them, especially during our exams.

Two weeks back, Dad called me everyday after work and asked if I would go home for dinner. Each day i replied "no" for a whole fortnight, each time my heart ached. For u know, my Dad sleeps at 8plus every nite and wakes up at 4plus everyday. It's his habit for sleeping and waking up early. I felt so sorry and sad, if it's not work that was holding me up, it's meeting up with frens and others for entertainment. Yes, i have neglected him and he's not happy, but he loves me too much to have 'cold wars' wth me.

"Dad, i'm sorry that i have neglected u for so long. i promise u that i would come home more often and earlier to keep u company." Dad always compliments that im his kai1 xin1 guo3 cuz he would be happy only when im at home. Lately, he has slimmed down alot and his belly has shrunk too. There seems to be more white hairs and wrinkles on his face. He's as stubborn as a bull. Whenever i hear him coughing, i persuade him to see a doctor or go for a check-up, but he doesn't listen. It's just a simple wish of mine to be able to bring him for a full body check-up, but when will this wish be fufilled? Maybe i have not tried hard enuf. Now, whenever i recite, i would dedicate the merits to him as well, hoping that he'll be healthy and happy always, same goes to my mum. I love my family. I love my Dad.

Frens, i just wanna share this with everyone. We may all be young and energetic, and we have so many things going on concurrently in our lives (like me - work, studies, relationship, family, gym, religion, frens etc), but please dun forget or neglect ur folks at home. Please dun take them for granted and do appreciate even the small things they do for u. Dun feel that it's only right for them to do so cuz they r ur parents. They never expect anything much from us, so why should we expect anything from them? They juz wanna their children to grow up (well, maybe we'll only be 3-year old kids in their eyes and won't grow up at all) as successful people and have happy families of their own in future. But they oso hope that we can take care of them when they r in their prime years in life. Maybe u can start by just saying "i love u" to them. Or give them a warming hug...(",)

After having said that, i will have to keep my promise..otherwise, all would have been futilely said.

Friday, 13 July 2007

Genting Trip 150607-170607

Oh my, at first i thought "aiyah, since i have delayed writing about the Genting trip for so long liao, and nobody complains abt it, then maybe i can delay abit longer! Just a bit longer only". Guess what, Edna commented in my friendster that I had better be more 'punctual' on the updates of our gatherings here! She meant that i shdn't let my laziness and procrastination get the better of me. Yar I know darling, i know u mean it. u r soo bad...sob sob...

We had always wanted to plan for a trip overseas since poly days! ok, in case u r as lazy as me, in the sense that u dun wanna bother to count the years, it's 7 full entire years! Oops, does the "7 years itch" apply to frenships as well? i hope not man! *kana spanked* Ok, shall stop the craps and get things started!

Finally, Thomas, who juz came into our group (and he's not even our poly classmate, let alone our "sister"!) suggested an overseas trip, together with our Kelly (Ms. Mathematics Expert) and tata! Here's the toast to our 1st overseas trip in Genting!

Here's an interesting picture. We just reached First World, as u can see from DD's expression. Actually i wanted to capture the "sleepy look" on their faces, but each of them gave different expressions. Thomas, can u pls explain why Jace was glancing at u so happily when it's only 5am?!?!



Thomas: (Putting up a victory hand signal) Yeah, shan't tell u the secret man...heh heh...


There were only the 4 of us left! The other 4 "put plane on us"...sigh...


But we certainly had a good time outside breathing in the fresh morning air and embracing the "cooling fog" in Genting Highlands!


Then again, I dont understand why we had to hug the tree shrubs...seemed stup#d to me, but if u observe, we were trying to test if we can embrace the shrubs with our arms and hands joined together. Of course, the bigger guys had to stand beside the bigger shrub, and us, the more petite sex, had to embrace the smaller one...hee...and we were laughing like nobody's business after taking these pictures, because we really felt stup#d. haha...



Awesome, cooling picturesque! I luv Genting's weather!


Dinner time! Aiyah, u muz have guessed by now why there aren't pictures from morning time to dinner time!!! *Cuz we were at the casinos trying our luck lor...wat else could we do in GENTING?!?! (winkz) Of course, we managed to catch some sleep as well, so that the panda eyes won't be that obvious...u know, we expected to take pictures, and the pictures would be kept for a long long time (till we delete them, simple!), and having those panda eyes won't look nice on us, and..............

Good Edna and Bear were rinsing the cutlery and crockery in a basin of hot water provided to us, and counting how many we need...hey, thanks so much for the voluntary work! U know, going for an overseas holiday with such a big group of frens, all of us had to take some initiative to make the trip an enjoyable and memorable one. Like i had to bring my digital camera out to capture the initiativeness of Edna and Bear doing this task for all of us; this is oso a form of initiativeness! hee...



Look at that delicious mouthwatering butter fried fish! No wonder Edna and Bear couldn't wait to get their hands on it. Ok, we r fair and impartial too. We let Bear finished the whole fish after we had our share. Oh my, u know what bears eat? Especially white pola bears? They eat fish! Edna's Bear eats fish too! A round of applause for him! He savoured the whole fish, especially the head and bones, in a very cultured way...wow, we were amazed...something that we had aboslutely no knowledge on...







Wow, from the happy look on our faces, u would have guessed we had a sumptuous dinner! Well, we are quite easily contented!


Brief introduction of this eating place: It's actually introduced by my ex-coligs in PIL when we went to Genting together in Feb last year. Called the Mushroom Farm, the place grows mushrooms and vegetables for sale. It's within walking distance from Genting, except u gotta walk downslope all the way. However, if u have the contact number of the place, there'll be someone to fetch u to and from Genting First World! The place sells 'homegrown' mushrooms in different species, vegetables, local products and sovenirs.

Edna wanted to try the Bak Kut Teh over there for lunch on the last day, Sunday (there are other food stalls and eateries over there as well), but the stall wasn't open. Since we got a lift from the same eatery where we had dinner the nite b4, and the food was so tasty and yummy, we decided to settle our lunch there again. The generous 'lady boss' allowed us to order bak kut teh from the other stall! Wow, we were so happy, as we could have the best of both worlds.




See, our Edna and Bear rinsed and wiped the cutlery and crockery for us 'as usual', so 'as usual', we let Bear finish the fish that we ordered, this time round, the Hong-Kong style steamed fish...(",)

The couples pictures! The best couple i like is Kelly and Herlina, our unofficial couple, but the pair that i like the most! Their frenship is beyond imagination...Kelly, u should be really touched after seeing this, but Herlina sms me the next day after our clubbing nite, if anyone sent u home. If anyone observes the pictures, Edna and Bear may be in white, DD and i may be in green (different shades somemore), Jace and Thomas may be in the same tanned skin colour (cuz their clothes colour don't match la..hee..), but Kelly and Herlina were in both white and grey...sometimes, don't underestimate the chemistry of true frens...



Souvenirs pictures! New things that u may not have seen before in Genting!
The turtle with a dragon's head, looks quite splendid ya? all of us wanted to touch it to get some luck..haha..



Mushroom head, Da4 Tou2 Da4 Tou2, Xia4 Yu3 Bu4 Chou2. Ni3 You3 Yu3 San3, Wo3 You3 Mo2 Gu1 Tou2...hee...Herlina and I were laughing out loud when i told her this...













We wanted the whole group to squeeze into the biggest mushroom head we can find, but Thomas is just too big to fit in, so he gotta lie down sexily on the ground...hee...



The aftermath of visiting casinos in Genting, is to continue gambling on the coach, on our way back to Singapore...


We had a fun time ya...it was a really unforgettable first overseas trip that we had...it's a trip where fond memories would be shared by the eight of us...ok, going off now to plan for the next trip guys!