half burn candle....

hmmm...having so much thoughts in my head now...well...went to sp to do my assignments today and than head to clarke quay...not for clubbing but to support my brother...despite him saying that even if i go down to see him fly the remote control plane (which is call "go fly kite") he will treat it that he don't know me..till now this sentence is still ringing in my mind...my friends say that he is saying words of anger...but disowning me???it feels terrible...hmm...when i reached around 6.30pm found out that it was raining so i went to ate my lunch /dinner at yoshinoya...and waiting alone for time to pass...saw a good looking inmdonesian guy...and start pondering if he is a model or something...well all my imagination about modeling comes back...well...as some of my friends know that i'm so into modeling and all..its just something i enjoy so much..so no doubt, wherever i go and i saw a girl / guy that looks good, i will start imagining that they will be posing so attractively infront of the camera and which angle flatters their look..ok thats sidetrack...so after eating..i went to have a walk at central..its really nice there..but some places are pretty deserted...so i wonder how will the shops thats allocated at the deserted area earn..hmm...than its about 7.15pm...so i decide to walk by the river in order to find the "field" where leon will do the plane performance...and when i stepped out of "central" the rain is pretty heavy..so i just dashed my way through the rain to riverside point

(one of the pics i took on the way)

so when reaching there, i was keeping a lookout for the field depite the rain..saw some nice view

well...i walked and walk till 8pm still looking for the stupid field which i didn manage to find =(...and the rain didn stop..so i guess it will be cancelled..hmmm...well...i didn let leon know that i went and i don't intend to...so keeping my feelings and writing some general thoughts in my blog will definitely comfort myself...and i'm really happy that brandon, siling, lester, joel gor gor were there emotionally for me...

well just saw this on his wall "i dun hate u..but its just sometimes u do things that make me so pissed off..it just makes me super angry n lose all the respect i have for u.."

well...pissed off for an internet??im so sad...i'm still a human...i make mistakes...even though sometimes i neglected u..but when i care and do things for u, did u even thank me???u don't even remember my birthday...

sorry..was carried away...ok back to the topic..so i decided to head back and on my way, i remembered that i can do my assignments while on my way home..(the work is call POEMS..like observing people and taking pictures..cant expect that every minute of my day, my school work is haunting me..)

and i reached home...realised that mum is not at home well previously i secretly went to make a spare key i agree its stupid that i only duplicated the metal gate and i didn duplicate the wooden door...so i went to look for my mum at her friend's block..sign*...well...people who read my blog should be curious why i name this post as "half burn candle" well basically, it because when i reached home i lighted a relightable candle cause i feel like..so i start playing with fire...blowing it and seeing it relight again..and i realise something...the difference between a relightable one and a normal one..well..in some term, candles means hope..well when a normal one is blown, the room will be in complete darkness..when a relightable one is blown, the flame will come back again..there are some sparks as well...strangly i start to link my life as a relightable candle...again and again, some things will blow my flame away..but in the end i manage to relight again..maybe till the day when the fire decides to cease and theres no more wax to sustain the fire, it maybe the time that i give up...

blank

really feeling in pain...i really want to scream and cry all my sorrows and agony out...why do people don't cherish and take others for granted?i had been in a terrible mood this noon. no one asked, no one care as in my family.the work load of my school work is making me feel so exhausted...theres so much things to do and i didn know where to start...and leon, the one that i loved so much, dotes and cared is the one that hurts me the most...i tried to do what i can do to show that i really love him alot, im so proud of him when he says that he is promoted to sergent major, im really proud of him so proud that i cant wait to show all of my friends that he is my little brother.all the hurts in the past i can just put it aside...im so ready to forgive him even he hurts me a thousand time as long as he say a sorry to me...well....i dont care if people are going to get offended or not when i write such personnal stuff online...i know the risk...people may critisise, gossip but i dun care..i just wanna be genuine..well..frankly to say, i'm starting to hate my life so badly...its just so tough...and i know that i lose my support (my greatest support)my close christian friends should know...so to put in the right words, i'm just slowly fading away...i lost my track and path...='(

it hurts when u have to cry yourself to sleep. torturing your body into extreme tireness so that u will sleep peacefully..........................................................................

shattered................

the awefulllll dinner

went to have dinner with si ling just now..hmmm...i'm really happy that me and her are building our friendship back again. well...just now, went to 925 and eat.(coffeeshop) and i ordered fish soup marcoroni, centuary egg and you tiao so the guy gave me 1 extra piece of fried prawn cracker and i thought he didn't pay attention to what i ordered and i said quite loudly-"i didn't order this. he winked at me and i said "ooohhh u give me arh?" than the boss heard..hmm...i was pretty upset that i landed him into trouble...really sorry for the trouble caused..i hope he don't hate me...

another thursday

yeah!!!no school tml..however, still have lots and lots of stuff to do..chated with lester yesterday, he is the oldest in my class..but he is very caring and nice...so sweet of him...gave me morning call so that i will wake up to go for my GEMS. send me an sms also..well...in the end, i still went back to sleep..i'm so tired cause doing the "puppet" for my assignment really drains me...hmm...but he made me feel so guilty...
well, really appreciate him...
promise will try to sleep early..

thank you lester

oooh, and yesterday, sze li went home with me...i think i let her wait so long...sorry about that sze li..we had a good chat on the way..its so fun...and we went to mac as well...one memorable thing is that we suggested a group jacket for the NSP clique and the most interesting part is that we start to allocate colour to the clique (you know, girls does all this lame stuff but its fun)

this is the allocation( i may forget some so pardon me)
sze li-purple(cause its he favourite color)
trina-gold (cause i think its unique)
durian-green(cause durian is green)
yang-
marc-red
gavin-silver
arvin-white(cause he too black)
sharil-(forgot)
soon yi-(forgot)
jaryl-(forgot)
purple-pink(cause sze li says he likes pink)
jeremy-(forgot)

school work, macdonald monopoly and a random turkey guy

(sample of my work dated 27oct)

hmmm...so many school work and its driving me mad...my body is breaking down loh..hai...i need to draw so many stuff...but theres accomplishment la..but the work load is scary...hmm...today i ate macdonald
!!!wee...so happy and the have a monpoly game..i think its really interesting snd the prizes are attractive...wow!!!well..i need joo chiat road, toa payoh, thomson road, tanjong rhu, shenton way, robinson road, scotts road, orchad road and sentosa cove...oh no...hmmm...i hope some one will be nice enough to gimme some of their tabs..haha...today, i realise that i am really that crazy...went around and ask all my friends for the tab..haha

above is the monopoly paper..its so cute right..

and you know what?today, a random turkey guy chatted with me and say some..errr kind of disgusting stuff....hmmm...sorry...so tired to blog now...nights

hope church.

went to er yu's church today, get to know some new friends.its pretty cool.the culture of the church is somewhat similar to my church which is evangel =) hmm...my interview was cancelled at the last minute. so in the end, went to ang mo kio for a walk instead and look up andrew see. week end is going to be over soon and my work isn't realli done yet...sad..

new shoes, ring, batam trip and some random pictures!!!

well, i bought a surfer's paradise shoes yesterday at sunplaze, well, it cost me $5, its just a plain white shoe and i was hesitant to buy it. but it copst only $5 so internally the very auntie side of me says hey, no harm buying, its only $5. so in the end i bought it..haha. and the artist instict told me "hey, its time to work on this pair of shoes" so i did something to it..wahahaha..i dare to cause it cost $5!!!!haha...even if its a failure design (which i won't dare to wear it if the design sucks) at least the $ is not wasted as in my lost is not too much eh...haha...cheapskate hoh..okie dun care abt that..so this is my design..its call

CT ON SOLE
enjoy:

i hope its not too bad..i feel satisfied..but humbly i know its not the best design in the whole world but its my small little accomplishment and i feel good..

and i bought a ring too...but its at city hall, its quite nice la..

but this is not a blogshop arh...not for sale de..haha...

wanna share some pictures i took at the batam trip...of cause the focus is not me arh...is the background scenary

i look terrible in the pics haha.

RANDOM PICTURES

THIS GUY IS CALL SEOW WAH, HE IS NOT SEOW(SMALL) AT ALL..I DIDN'Y LIE ON HIS SHOULDERS HUH..CAMERA EFFECT

THIS IS RAHMAT,HE IS VERY FUNNY

KWANG YI, VERY NICE GUY.HOPE HE AND HIS GF LAST LONG LONG

ZAC EVERKYUT,NOT CUTE ALL, BUT VERY NICE.TAKEN AT TOY R'US

ME AND MY BABY BEAR, AT TOY R'US.I LOVE HIM ALOT BUT CANT KEEP HIM. HE IS A GUY BUT I LIKE TO DRESS HIM UP IN GIRL'S DRESS.I'M KIND OF A PSYCHO

MY FRENCH BF AS IN BOY, FRIEND. BUT HE IS SOMEONE REALLY SPECIAL TO ME REALLY REALLY SPECIAL

THIS IS ALTON, HE IS MY PRIMARY CUM SECONDARY SCHOOL FRIEND.OF CUS HE IS STILL MY FRIEND..HAHA..

THIS IS A PICTURE OF SOPHIA AND I, SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND.EVEN TILL NOW..

THIS IS WEN LING AND I TAKEN NEAR ESPLANADE

THIS IS NORVIN AND I, TAKEN AT THE CHURCH EVENT"CURRY BOLLY AND SARI"

MY WONDERFUL TROOP OF LITTLE COUSINS..NAUGHTY AND CUTE

ALVIN!CONCENTRATING ON (GAME) DURING HISTORY AND THEORY OF IDEAS LESSON

LEON(BRO) AND I, HE IS ACTING COCK EYE, BUT HE IS NOT COCK EYE K.

I LOVE THIS!ITS SZE LI AND I. AT THE ARMY OPEN HOUSE 2 YRS AGO.

TAKEN DURING SEC 3 I THINK.HEE..CUTE EH...

THIS IS ME!!!HAHAHA!!!FAT FAT HOH..HEE

OK, thats for today..im tired im going to sleep because i have some kind of female model ambassador interview at 3pm...grrrr...and will be meeting er yu..yeah yeah..

goodnight

weekend....

weekend is here and theres so much stuff to do..yesterday, siling bought herbal tea for me. so touched..today went to celebrate jeremy's birthday..its the nsp gathering..so happy arh, we buy cake and a happy birthday balloon.actually plan to give him a surprise de but he don't seem surprised at all..hai...at least he should say WHA!!!!!i so touched...cry abit i also happy...haha..maybe later i will be going to stay over at marina..cause maybe helping out at the nike race..still waiting for comfirmation.hmm..

what i did today

argh!!!2nd day of school reopening and what i did!!!i drew CIRCLES!!!c'mon trina!!CIRCLES!!!and now Mr cute james lee wants us to be a photcopy machine!!actually i love to be a copy cat!!!haha...copy copy copy!!!why i say that he is cute is because when he teach us, he is like so kan jiong..but i enjoyed his lesson...haha...he is not bad looking too.in fact most of or SD lecturers look young and gook looking...elaine, she is pretty..iain looks cubby and cute,kelly,i wonder how old is he..he looks super young..(maybe the way he dress) Yong sheng looks decent..and he loves to act cute..but not bad ae..when he serious still attractive de woh..i wonder what is install for tml..HTI...hai...today, Mr foo yong sheng is unhappy with me...hai..cus i was msning in his lesson...i know i will sleep if i dun do anth...its pretty boring...hai...and i reached the stupid class at 8am thinking the lesson start at 8am!!!arh!!!!YS, i'm sorry arh...but i still won't treat fish and co...haha....when i open shop and name it chicken n co than i treat u okie....

starting to hate school

first day of school is pretty terrible..went to dad's office to type an urgent quotation. and its like i woke up at 6am..damn early...yesterday, i skipped lesson with er yu..we went to the library and watch movie!!!wahahaha

i liked nanny mcphee compare to the others more..well, back to my complains about school..hai...its just so terrible.. besides some misunderstanding happened at he last semester, the time table..gosh!!!i thought that i had to reach school at 8am for 3 days in a week...and now stupidly im sitting at T511 typing my blog..and acting cool...haha...(when i rushed to school)hai!!!!i wanna sleep!!!better grab some food now..

sentosa!!WHAT A DAY!

yeah!!!went to sentosa today!well its deepavali and i'm not there to celebrate..
have something excited to share about..but i promise i won't share more than this...so happy that i manage to get a guy's number..he is really cute and in some ways attractive. he makes me wanna know more of him. well okie..i promise he is a hunk alright. and after much anticipation and reluctance cum nervousness i approached him..and okie..thats all. FULLSTOP.
NEXT!its a freaking idiot maniac cum straw hat blotted eye and limpo keep chasing me!!!thank god his role is a limping ghost..wah!!!FORKING SCARY!!!!(sorry..no vulgar) hmm..so its like i saw him after i came out of the toilet. and he saw me..and i freak out..i hope he freak out when i freak out..haha...cause he can't chase me!!!!wahahaha...ok..no link..and ya i know u donb't understand what i'm trying to say...summaries everything, i freak out, and embaressed myselfin front of the public. and in front of my friends and the guy. FULLSTOP NO 2.

ok basically, today, er yu, moses, dan, fah, andrew SEE, bernard, rahmat and i went to sentosa.hai..this outing is pretty much a failure..so sad.. we ordered food for 30 pax...arh its like so much left over...so wasted..THOSE WHO DIDN'T TURN UP!I'LL MAKE SURE U GOBBLE DOWN ALL THE SAND IN PALAWAN BEACH!!!

dedicated to people who came
er yu: so nice!!she ,made jelly for all!!!appreciate her effort!muacks!and protecting me from the freaking limpo maniac!
moses:wah!!he is the first to reahc arh!steady dude!(if u read this) and yeah!he accompany me to buy drinks for all.got sun burn=( moses, get well soon...
dan: HE HAD A NICE HAIRCUT!i love it..make him look more handsome...suddenly today i feel he became more good loking...maybe today only or for a period whereby his hair is still short.whahaha!but he is cute i agree...and we went to buy ice!yeah!(DAN, I HOPE UR HAIR WILL STOP GROWING THE FROM NOW ON)
fah: this girl man!she rockx!her laughter and craziness spice things up and the whole beach is filled with her presence!u go girl
andrew see: haha!!though he appear like a cheeky monster, he is a very nice guy. u all should see how he turned 180 degrees and fall to the ground eventually because he cant balance on a hammock!haha!!!nevermind that he fell down once but he did it twice!IN SLOW MOTION SOMEMORE!!SO FUNNY ARH...still can say "your mother is so fat that when she went into the lift, it crashed." i'm not really sure if this is the right phrase he said.. but its 85% correct. yeah..
bernard: idk what to say about him but complicated
rahmat: i love you love you love u!(as a fren)u so funny eh..tell me mok mok story on the monorail.and made me so afraid to go home...haha...even all the hurts u caused!i stil love you!!wahahahaha!!!rahmat sio!!!jking eh
today, theres also many as in really many banglas at sentosa. they are really bad..i think they are so happy that they are having their break.should pat tribut to them for constructing singapore.but they should't be lusting on girls in public.its so darn disgusting. cause i happen to see a group of them staring at three pretty blondes sun-tanning and its like their eyes shows that they hope that the blondes will strip!OMG!!cant they just go geylang =(...just hope they will start work again. so there won't be huge groups of them roaming around...

so sad, so happy...

I just send my lappy deff for repair..now i will miss him...really hope to get him back fast =(..sitting at the fujitsu premiun care at funan and drinking teh tarik now..so sad...=(....however, tomorrow i'm going to sentosa!!!look forward to it!!and yeah, i bought my new nivea sunblock and i done my nails yesterday(looks crooked)!!spend 4 hours just doing it...its so nice now...

 things to do: post pics of my nails and sunblock!!

later, at 2pm i will be going down to koven coslab for facial, eye treatment and waxing!!yeah!!!so pampered!!(love u gan ma and gan pa)

well, its pretty boring these days as mummy keep going out with her aunty friends..i'm so upset by it..i hope pastor casey will read this post so he know mummy is naughty...every time leave me alone at home..no food no nothing..during the holidays, i lost 2kg!!!wth!!!i'm already so skinny!!!=(

and yesterday night, i asked leon"if i go for the singtel grid girl next year, will u vote for me?" and without hesitation he replied "NO!!". arghhh!!!!breaks my heart..i know i may not get through to the final round la...but its okie to have a dream right...everybody have their own little dreams including me..haha...alright...gtg for some shopping...its fun going to different places alone...=) love u bloggy...

STUPID HONEY ALOE VERA

ooh..forget to mention..i bought a honey aloe vera and gui ling gao after the movies at fairprice. ate the gui ling gao omw to YCG. and so excited to consume my honey aloe vera. and WAH!!!I CAN'T OPEN IT! ask bobo, leon, roman, my dad, whui sin for help. but sadly. none can open it. I'm so sad. but the deperation to eat it grew. its like this stupid thing is keeping me in suspense. just like how guys like to be kept in suspense. whatever..haha...its random..so in the end, i placed it in hot water.and argh!no way!it is so stubborn.and i put it in the fridge.and grrr.it won't work.so in the end i used the hard way. i took the scissors, dig it into the metal lid and wah!!!!!!it open!i'm so happy so i'm eating and enjoying it now as i blog.


(THIS IS RANDOM)

FREE MOVIES!!!

WAH!!!despite complaining that today is a boring day, in the end it turn out well. So happy. I went to find MR ANDREW SEE! he is so nice. He feels bored working.so in the end Er Yu and i went look for him at his work place instead. I bought my CLEO mag on the way..when i reach its like OMG!!he look so cute in the cleaner's t-shirt. he look mean and lazy but he is very nice la. Treat me plain water and a cup of lemon tea (i'm having cough). haha...so we went to watch

and

we watch a short 30minutes of the ugly truth to kill time as 500days of summer starts at 5pm. SO........dadada the show start and end. Everything is so cool! AND YOU KNOW WHAT IS THE COOLEST PART?ER YU AND I HAVE THE WHOLE CINEMA BY OURSELVES!!!!i feel like a VIP man!!!but wouldn't have experience all this without andrew...thats why...........

ANDREW SEE! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! YOU ROCKX ROCKX ROCKX!!!(p.s:when my voice come back, i sing rock a by baby for you)haha