Thinking or Feeling?

I once came across a study by Swiss psychiatrist Carl G. Jung who developed psychological type to explain the normal differences between people. He concluded that differences in behaviour result from people’s inborn tendencies to use their minds in different ways. As people act on these tendencies, they develop patterns of behaviour.

One aspect of Jung’s theory defined the process and mechanics of decision-making which exists in opposite (thinking and feeling). Depending on the pathway chosen, the conclusions arrived upon can be drastically different among individuals.

This study resurfaced this morning at work and two sentences caught my attention:

People who prefer to use Thinking in decision-making want to mentally remove themselves from the situation to examine the pros and cons objectively, hence "fair" amounts to everyone being treated equally.

People who prefer to use Feeling in decision-making mentally place themselves into the situation to identify with everyone so they can make decisions based on their values about honouring people, hence "fair" amounts to everyone being treated as an individual.

According to Jung, there is no right or wrong for a given psychological preference but to me it does shed some light as to why JD and I often arrive at totally dissimilar decisions for a given situation.

Lens Upgrade

JD's clumsiness wreaked his Nikon kit lens but in the process surprisingly landed him a far more superior setup.

With the new AF-S DX NIKKOR 16-85mm f/3.5-5.6G ED VR lens in placed, I foresee us vying for the DSLR on our next shooting excursion.

Burden Self-Inflicted

Perhaps it was because I had an income, I began to take interest in the micro-management of my family matters during army days. From processes, infrastructure to finances, I started to assume some responsibilities.

Now that I've a larger pay check compared to army days, I progressively become more proactive and will readily devote a large portion of it towards upgrading the standard of living of the family as a whole. I feel that it is necessary because it helps to bring everyone together, keep their daily expenses in check and improve their quality of life.

Then JD made some very interesting observations:

1. Why am I the only person footing the bills when nearly every family member has an income?
   
2. Why am I the only person assuming responsibility if it is truly necessary?
   
3. Exactly how proactive are they towards following through the processes you've laid down?
   
4. Do they even appreciate what you are doing?
5. Last but not least, will they do the same for you without being told?

Well, it seems like the selfless part of me needs some gentle reminders from the selfish part of JD.

4D3N

It's been quite a while since I last wrote an entry. So much has happened this whole time that it's hard to put in words. Life relentlessly throws challenges at you, and besides lamenting, all you can do is to brave it through one at a time.

Mid last month, JD and I managed to sneak 4 days worth for ourselves (thanks to public holiday). I have yet to receive all the photos from him, but a diagram would basically sum up what we had decided to do with that amount of time.

Worried

05:00 Woke up for the 3rd time to check my phone but still no replies from JD. Been trying to call him since over 5 hours ago. Did something happened to him?

06:10 Still no replies. Perhaps there's some problem with my phone. Tried messaging myself and calling myself. Works fine.

06:30 Decided to call him again, but no answer. Can't sleep anymore, so might as well head to work.

08:20 I'm extremely early for work, feeling sleepy. Then it struck me, he didn't sleep the night before. "Kevin, you're darn darn foolish... He chose mahjong which in turn chose sleep over you".

New Gadgets

I just got a bad scolding from my Dad for being late for dinner. But all that is fine because I managed to accompany JD to the PC Show 2008 where he got himself a set of 2.1 stereo sound speakers, an AIO photo printer and an ultra value-for-money notebook PC which he's been eyeing for quite some time. I can see he's extremely happy. I'm gonna give him a call now, and I bet $100 (with myself) that he's playing with his new laptop already.

Waiting To See Him

Waiting is such a terrible thing to make one do. You can wait several hours but the other person has no inkling the torture you're going through. I remember last September I had a similar post like this, and now it's repeating after about 9 months.

"Kevin, you're darn foolish... He chose mahjong over you".

Time Allocation

Today I signed up for voluntary work. Partly it's because I feel like doing something meaningful (which I've been wanting to since a year ago). Partly it's because of JD.

I used to allocate loads of my time for him, so that I could work around his busy schedule and that would mean we likely have more time together. Then as time passed, it got abused. He took the move as a right rather than a privilege. In the end, the one getting hurt is myself. So now most of my time shall go to voluntary work, piano classes, family, friends, CO and OTs.

Office Politics

I'm losing faith with the organisation day by day. The more I walk the ground, the more I realise people holding key positions are sitting on the fence. Either they have lost focus of their primary objectives or they are blinded by the mundane of administrative work, they are not doing enough to ensure benefits of our clients.

Indiana Jones

This evening we caught the comeback of Indiana Jones, one of my favourite childhood movies. Like its predecessors, audience are in for a fun-thrilled adventure ride with this whip-lashing archaeologist. Already 65 years of age, I can't help but wonder if Harrison Ford could still pack a punch as before in the trilogy. Alas, only 10 minutes into the movie, the pace picks up, and I knew I'm gonna enjoy this movie.

I think both Steven Spielberg and George Lucas did great with this reprise of Indy. It gave fans all around the world the chance to see Harrison Ford under that fedora once more and perhaps the last. The most symbolic representation of this is towards end of the movie [spoiler alert] when a gust of wind landed the fedora before the feet of his son. Jones Jr. picked it up and was about to wear it when Indy grabbed it and wore it immediately.

All in all, I give this movie 5 stars. And I'm sure JD who hasn't caught any of Indy's movies before agrees with me.

After the movie, we made our way home when all of a sudden a fleet of traffic police appeared on the roads. Together they cleared vehicles and pedestrians leaving a long empty stretch. Moments later, an convoy of more traffic police surrounding three sedans whisked past the crowd of curious passer-bys. I start to ponder if I were the VIP, lots of people will have to make way if I intend to go do some private shopping, perhaps say the PC Show...

Misses

After not seeing JD for close to two weeks. We finally met tonight for a short while.

Vesak Day

Thanks to this extended weekend break, I get to hang out with some friends whom I haven't seen for a while (two of whom over a year ago) on a Monday afternoon. As per our usual hang-out activity, it was Party World for 4 straight hours.

The good thing about going to KTV with a mix of both genders is that you get to sing duets (I don't mean you can't do that too with a bunch of guys). When there was only half an hour left with still a long list in-queue, we tried to cover the first verse and chorus of his song. I think this is what we call - stretching the dollar.

FHA'08

Today I got to take some time off to head down to the FHA at Singapore Expo. It was simply culinary meet extravagance. Pictures shall do the talking this time:

Down With Cold

After a few days of running nose, cough and headaches, I finally decided to take MC today. The whole office has been very thin on manpower lately with staff going on long leave, on course, on reservist, etc. But I was just too sick to head to work.

Then I receive an email this morning. I realise the department has been so reliant on me that I had only took a day MC, but it requires 4 staff to cover my work. I think I seriously need this break to recuperate.

12 Cards

I finally received the cards today, all 12 of them from JD. To celebrate our 1st anniversary, JD has planned 12 themes for each day starting from The Day. Based on each theme, there's a card with a collage of photos printed on one side and a short write-up on the other. There's also a gift to go along with it.

Each card has been very creatively designed by JD to have its unique meaning to suit the theme. The collage was most probably done in Photoshop. And along with the write-up and gifts, I think JD must have placed tremendous amount of effort into all of them. I think I'm gonna go get a nice little tin box to keep all his cards so that I won't lose them.

Thank you JD!

Apprehension

Tempers become so volatile that they snap at the slightest disagreement. Conflicts happens every other day only to be resolved by ignorance.

The signs were obvious but I choose to turn a blind eye. Apprehension came to me like a brick on the head yesterday. He no longer holds my hand as he steers his way through the crowded dance floor like he used to. He no longer introduces his friends to me almost as if I'm invisible. He no longer bothers about his promises... The list goes on, but I think I'm ending this entry before I get more upset.

Reflection

I recall a friend telling me that when a relationship reaches one year, you will get a pretty good idea whether it's made to last. As much as I wanna remain confidently hopeful, I keep a reserve of conservative scepticism. We are just two very identical people with very different ideologies.

Today marks one. I have loved JD with all my heart for 365 days.

A Time for Everything

There's a time and place for everything. And that's the theme for the upcoming anniversary's celebration. JD is in for a suite of surprises.

I Rather Fail

Once again JD flared in outrage at me for not applying my licence immediately after the test. I am seriously beginning to HATE it when he snaps at me. And all I can do is remain composed. I wish I had failed yesterday.

Class 3

After delaying for more than a year due to work and studies, I finally took my 1st practical test.

JD waited at the gates of the driving centre to give me some last minute best wishes before I hurried to do my warm-up. I was super tensed and the instructor made it worse by being as tensed.

After some briefing and waiting afterwards, I was on the road with the tester in the car. He had the strict look on his face which made my heart thump faster. And when I was told to turn back before finishing my test route, I thought I was a goner.

Then I returned to his office where he showed me the result slip. I passed.

Eye Power

The new My Paper has been featuring submissions to STOMP daily. From pregnant lady waiting to get a seat on train, to hand grenande found in rubbish bin. The pictures and comments show an unfortunate trend - STOMPers more often than not, simply snap a picture and wait for something to happen.

I don't deny that they create awareness. But their lack of actions simply reminds me back in army days where we describe these people as "Cyclops".

Quick Temper

JD's temper is getting worse each day. I get snapped at almost every little thing. I wonder if he is at all supportive of my job.

Stressed

My workload is building up to a point that stress is getting to me. Though stress is no new thing to me, the job is becoming more and more draining both mentally and physically. And my biggest concern is how it would affect the relationship on the long run.

Perhaps like JD, I keep wondering: When my contract ends, should I renew? Is all this work worth my time and effort?

Shouted, Scolded & Fucked At

I wonder who on Earth likes to be treated like that. I'm really a very lousy person to deserve such a treatment.

Timelines Reversed

It used to be JD's busy and I'm very free. He's busy to the point where I could only see him only on weekends. But now as my workload builds up, he has less work at hand. And like a dream come true, he could meet me for dinner almost every evening for the past week and week to come.

How I wished I could just stop work now and spend more time with JD. Because I know this is but temporary. Once JD gets busy again, we'll have much less time together. What's worse, JD just informed me that he's going to take up his former responsibility. We really need to work something soon but I don't know how.

For now, I'm gonna continue to enjoy JD's dessert - "Fu Zhok". Yummy.

New Year Resolution

It's a habit every new year that I list down some goals to achieve over the next 365 days and this year's no exception.

1) to get a class 3 license
2) to draw up a more effective savings plan
3) to better time manage
4) to learn cooking and baking
5) to buy JD a *******

Post-Countdown

JD got so drunk that all plans after about 1am had to be aborted. I was kinda drunk too but luckily still sober enough to send him home before I puke at my void deck then KO on my bed.

What a way to say bye bye to 2007, but anyway Happy New Year JD! (hope you don't get hangover)