Mr Nice Guy No More

Probably I've been too much of a nice guy at home.  And I thought I could be really patient given all that I've withstand for the past 20+ years.

Today's the tipping point.  For one hour, I remained calm.  He would walk up and down, left and right, pointing his fingers, raising his voice and make unreasonably accusation but I simply sat down - listening patiently.  He went on and on till I thought he would have said all there's to be sat.

Then it broke when finally he hit on a raw nerve.  He finally voiced his dismay at how I have used his money and wasted it on studies when it could have been used to support family.  Of all people, it turns out my own father denounces my hardwork, my very presence.  One word: incorrigible.

From now on, no more nice guy.  It's time I let him have a taste of his own medicine.  It's gonna get pretty ugly and this post shall simply mark the beginnging of it all.

Live Positively. Live Actively (Part IV)

25 Ideas at Home

1. If you have use of a swimming pool, do some lengths or dive.
2. Wash your pet.
3. Plant a small garden.
4. Dedicate less than 2 hours a day to television and videogames.
5. Stretch before and after sleeping.
6. Do some gardening, or tend your houseplants.
7. Make household chores fun.
8. Walk up and down stairs.
9. Try to make your games active.
10. Hide things and play treasure hunt with your children.
11. Pedal on an exercise bike with you read a book.
12. Tidy your cupboards or that old chest.
13. Put on music, sing and dance.
14. Get up an hour earlier to do physical exercise at home or go running.
15. Do sit-ups.
16. Forget about the remote control and get up to change channels.
17. Do flexibility exercises.
18. Go for a walk after lunch or dinner.
19. Play hide and seek with your children in the house.
20. Clean out the storage room or garage.
21. Get a Pilates ball and do exercises with it.
22. Make a date with your neighbours to go for a walk or play in the park.
23. Re-decorate your home.
24. Paint the walls or doors yourself.
25. If your have space, create your own gym.

Live Positively. Live Actively (Part III)

25 Ideas for Your Free Time

1. Go roller-skating.
2. Jog through the park.
3. Spend the day in the country with your family.
4. Take a walk with your grandparents.
5. Go for a bike ride with the kids.
6. Sign up for dance classes.
7. Teach your children traditional games, the one you used to play and play with them.
8. Go out to buy bread or newspaper on foot.
9. Walk to the supermarket a few times a week.
10. Go for walks around your city and get to know its streets and history.
11. Walk instead of taking the car.
12. Travel by skateboard.
13. Walk the dog.
14. Use children's parks and parks for adult.
15. Organise an adventure trip.
16. Use sport facilities.
17. Go to museums, to the zoo, to the botanic garden, etc.
18. Sign up for a sport, get in the habit.
19. Go and have a walk in the country.
20. Look for a public swimming pool and do aquatic sports.
21. Dance to your favourite songs when you go out at night.
22. Add music to any physical activity you do.
23. Play paddleball, tennis, badminton, tennis beach or any other racket game.
24. Build sand castles.
25. When you visit another city, travel by foot.

Live Positively. Live Actively (Part I)

25 Ideas for the Workplace

1. Get off the bus one stop early and walk the rest of the way to your destination.
2. Park a little further away from the door.
3. Go by bike in your city or town.
4. Take the stairs instead of the lift.
5. Get up to get your coffee instead of having someone bring it to you.
6. Use an anti-stress ball to move your hands.
7. Change positive every 20 minutes.
8. Hold meetings with colleagues standing up.
9. Get up and walk while talking on the phone.  Have meetings with one or two colleagues that are "walking meetings".
10. Send fewer emails and visit your colleagues' desk more.
11. Take a walk with your colleagues during lunch-time.  Walk down to the nearest restaurant and be active at midday.
12. Stretch your legs, rotate your ankles and contract and stretch your feet while you are seated.
13. Do neck and shoulder exercises when you're at the computer.
14. For your back, move your spine forward, backward and to the sides.
15. Raise your knees when you are sitting down.
16. Rest your forearms on the table and raise your body, without getting up.
17. Relax your eyes by first looking at something close and then at something far away.  Repeat this 5 times.
18. Contract your abdomen for a few seconds once in a while - it will help you maintain better posture.
19. Change position and weight of your feet if you work standing up.
20. Walk around the office or hallway while a large file is downloading.
21. Clean out your office files and cupboards once every three months.
22. Arrange your workspace so that you have more freedom of movement.
23. Organise an internal sports tournament for Christmas.
24. Form a team with colleagues to play a sport.
25. Form a free time activities group with your workmates.

Social Class

My day started off by attending a talk with JD on autism. It’s an unfortunate psychological disorder that afflicts people whom I incidentally come across constantly in my field of work. The talk got me pondering a lot afterwards, especially on the specific tools and techniques to better communicate with them.

Then it was time for the BBQ. Ever since I graduated, it’s been two years since us schoolmates met. They used to be a bunch I’m closer with but last night’s interaction felt extremely remote and uncomfortable. The main theme of most dialogues circled around a societal standard – the 5 Cs.

Discussions included the specific stocks to buy, the type of property to own, the best jobs with the best paycheck and even the kinds of girlfriends to woo (among the guys of course), all of which I was barely participative. I was overtly busy with eating and covertly in distaste. Interestingly, a couple whom were getting married was not even in the conversation.

After a fair share of food and catching up, I was off heading to meet JD with a sigh of relief. Perhaps it’s in the chronological sequence of the day’s events – one material and the other immaterial, or perhaps it’s in my inadequacy to become absorbed in the unfortunate mundane of this malevolent fast-paced economy, I am not quite looking forward to their next gathering.

A Paradigm Shift

Ever since JD shifted department into a new working environment, I’ve been seeing so much more smiles on his face. He’s now so much happier each day as he goes to work that I’m too feeling his renewed enthusiasm and energy in his work. Nowadays, seeing JD’s smile first thing in the morning simply brightens up my day.

I think in Singapore especially, where the teachings of meritocracy is deeply rooted, work becomes essentially central to one’s identity. It is a manifested persona on the societal fabric which derives most of its characteristics from the nature of the job. Hence, there is such inevitable emphasis and persistence on seemingly unimportant details such as one’s job title.

With such huge predominance therefore comes the symbiotic relationship between work and life. With a quality as intangible as emotional well-being, satisfaction derived from one’s job suddenly turns it tangible and a formula of correlation becomes obvious. The eight hours worth of emotional and physical contribution each day is simply too significant to diminish.

Nonetheless, as significant as it might seem, the forces that drive happiness are more than one and that’s another thought for another time. For now, JD’s happy and therefore I’m happy. It’s not yet a perfect equation but I guess that’s just what love is all about.

Back to School

And so my course' starts this week while JD's follows next. After a couple of years of academic stagnancy, it's time to hit the books again.

It does seem like a huge chunk of burden to add studies into our timetable but I guess after some getting used to, most problems will iron out.

Mini-Concert Countdown

7 days to the concert and I'm still trying hard to memorise the lyrics (it can be quite confusing). But still, it's such a beautiful piece. I hope I can bring that across.

Anti-Cold

I still can't believe that with such horridly warm weather I could have came down with a cold once more over the weekends, marking the 3rd time this year.

Starting from today, I shall start on a Vitamin C supplement routine. It's about time I put a stop to it once and for all (hopefully).

Suck Up

“In tough times, more suck up to the boss”. This article from today’s My Paper somewhat provides an explanation.

At first, this young colleague of mine was producing promising results on the closing reports. He was professional, eloquent and more importantly genuinely enthusiastic in his work. Only a couple months into the job, he has already gotten a few senior staff singing his praises.

Of late, his movement starts displaying signs of ingratiation. Not that I bother to notice, it’s just that I so happen sit outside my boss’s office. His selection of words, the packaging of sentences, the body language and the effort made to walk some 20 metres across the room to reach here simply irks me.

In modern workplace, I don’t deny that some effort is at least needed to PR with your boss. He or she ultimately decides your fate in the company. But what disgusts me is when the person overdoes it to the point of obvious differential personality.

“It becomes a mentality of ‘I not only want to do a good job, but I want to be seen as doing a good job’.”