another year over, a new one just begun

The past week was the happiest that I ever had
Dearest Ivana, would you be my girl?
she said 'yes!!! sure!!' to my most nervous question (=

Sunday:
- first time sitting together in church, though just a few minutes..
- a sober challenge by Sahat Hutagalung; be deep in the Word and be active in growing spiritually!!
- sat together again at Juvenum (= I shoulda grabbed her hand!!
- had a great time chatting during dinner

Saturday:
- first meeting with her family; so grateful that they are super friendly and didn't over-react
- she shared loads of info about her extended family; wish I have photographic memory
- her Popo is wonderful, sweet and very motherly; hope to get to know her better
- Jonathan and Joseph, two young boys; could tell the geekiness early!! no time wasted, always on gadgets
- she cooked dinner @ Lenny's; simple dishes and good friends
- had the first date @ Gading Walk; first hand-in-hand

Friday & Thursday:
- on cloud number nine

Wednesday:
- D-day!!
- never been so anxious before
- never been so happy before (=

lose myself

Take all of the good and all of the bad
'Cause all of it's on me
Take all of my ways, the things that I chase
The things that control me

And all that I hide, could You bring me to life?
Could You open my eyes and show me?
Take all that was me and shape it to be
Reflecting You soully

I wanna lose myself, lose myself to find You
I wanna lose myself, lose myself to find You

I don't care how it sounds
Burn it up to the ground
Your kingdom, my desire
I wanna lose myself, lose myself to find
To find You
(I need to find You/I need to find You)

As all of the fates, I'll be on my way
The wreckage behind me
My feet on the ground, Two hands reaching out
The future is blinding

So what is stirring in You? May You stir up in me
All the dreams that You placed inside me
Take all that You see and shape it to be
The story You're writing

I wanna lose myself, lose myself to find You
I wanna lose myself, lose myself to find You

I don't care how it sounds
Burn it all to the ground
Consume me with Your fire
I wanna lose myself, lose myself to find
To find You

I need to find You...
I need to find You...

So do not hide Your face from me
Do not hide Your face
Do not hide Your face from me
Please don't hide

I'm gonna lose myself, lose myself to find
To find You
I need to find You...
I need to find You...

from the ashes and make a new beginning

We all have different lives - we vary in age, cultural background, and circumstances, to name just a few. Some of us can have parents guiding us in our spiritual lives; others against. We might have gotten to know Christ love for us when we were kids, or when we are old enough to make major live decisions on our own. Some of us can develop our spiritual live naturally in a group settings; others don't have the luxury of those settings or didn't have the opportunity to be loved enough to open up. Some of us approach can approach God in confidence through Christ' sacrifice, while others have journeyed through the nightmare of darkness and death.. How are we supposed to follow God when our circumstances are so different from one another??

Imagine that you are a student in an art class. Dozens are learning from a Master Painter. One day the Teacher displays a painting of His own. It's an incredible work of art, and He wants each of you to copy it. You're about to begin working when you look at the person next to you. You're surprised to note that he has a larger brush than you and a different kind of canvas. Some students have acrylic paint, others watercolor, still others old - and every one is using different colors. Though you all have the same assignment, you each have different materials. This frustrates you. Some students have materials you would prefer yourself. Why should they get them?

You're not the only student to notice the disparity. A hand goes up on your left. A girl with only ragged brush and three pale shades of blue on her palette is noticeably agitated. "This isn't fair," she tells the Teacher. "How do you expect me to duplicate Your painting when the people around me have so many more colors to choose from?"
The Teacher smiles. "Don't worry about the other students," He says. "I have carefully chosen brushes and paints for each of you. Trust Me. You have what you need to complete the assignment. Remember, your goal is not to create a painting that mirrors the person next to you, but to do your best with the materials I have given you to replicate My painting."

This is our life assignment.. No matter where we are today or what mistakes we've made in the past, He has given us everything we need to glorify Him right now.

~by Joshua Harris~ paraphrased

I'm with you...

I have a dream today!! Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!
Martin Luther King Jr

Maturity is overated
IT

I think I'm clear where I stand on the great Tigger/Eeyore debate. Never lose the childlike wonder. It's just too important. It's what drives us.
Randy Pausch

What you see and hear depends a great deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what kind of a person you are
CS Lewis

I have come so that they may life and live it to the full
Jesus Christ

Thanks for this special friendship we have bro. A friendship that I will take with me to the grace and beyond...
KT

Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love
Mother Teresa

A good stew takes time to cook (=
AC

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, out most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it
Albus Dumbledore - HP and the Deathly Hallows

studying is when we are in school; learning is what we do in life; humility is one of the keys to learn; fear of the LORD is beginning of knowledge
Jo

Gandalf? Yes... That's what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey. That was my name. I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.
Gandalf - LotR: The Two Towers

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.
Johann Wolfgang

Living to glorify God means doing everything for Him, His way, to point to His greatness and to reflect His goodness.
Joshua Harris

I am the Way the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through Me
Jesus Christ

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
CS Lewis

Heaven has never seen such beauty, my Lord. Truly, this is your greatest creation. Ah, but you've only seen the sweet. Now witness the bitter...
Max Lucado

I am such an amazingly blessed woman, today I thank God for my torn ACL because I see how much I've taken my friendships here for granted.
EH

She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future
Proverbs

before you, I didn't truly understand what I was looking for and now that we know each other, you've given my past and future a meaning
Philip Wang - The Last

In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.
Mr Darcy - Pride and Prejudice

I'm with you
Casting Crown

praise You in this storm

I was sure by now God, You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away
stepped in and saved the day
but once again, I say 'amen'
and its still raining

as the thunder rolls
I barely hear, You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands to praise the God who gives
and takes away

and I'll praise You in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm...

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and You raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can I carry on
if I can't find You...

but as the Thunder rolls
I barely hear, You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I'll raise my hands and praise the God who gives
and takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
and I will lift my hands
You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from??
my help comes from the Lord
the Maker of heaven and earth
[Repeat]

I'll praise You in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn...
I will praise You in this storm...
and though my heart is torn...
I will praise You in this storm...

*insert classical tunes - Pirates of Carribean*

recently I've taken a liking to Classical tunes coz of a certain someone
its really an amazing music section, good stimulation of the mind...
wordless which I'm not used to but I really enjoyed how it seems to light up my imaginations..
had the chance to hear and chat with an amazing maestro who is one of the pioneer of Indonesian Classical Music, really hope that things would work out and that the nation's name would be uplifted
met a young boy with great difficulties and extraordinary talents, it is amazing how God shaped him and I hope that he would be able to experience more of Christ and His love

and when you smile

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken
CS Lewis

I want ALL the meat!!!
Monkey D. Luffy

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that
Martin Luther King Jr

How much He loves me, I fail to see; He stretched His arms out, and died for me
Pauline Hamblin

Am I being who I am coz I need to be or I want to be... and when I keep on being who I am, am I a being with love?
Dr. G

You gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!
Rocky Balboa

I don't need everyone to hear me say I'm a Christian but I need everyone to see Christ in me
Nishan Panwar

Our mission is not to build the perfect church; it's to seek and save the lost
Shawn Wooten

Jesus is interested in a relationship with you, not a 45 minute date every Sunday morning. Make Him first in your life
Joyce Meyer

How great is our God, sing with me, how great is our God!!
Michael W Smith

Haha too much good food Jo!
SL

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand
Randy Pausch

Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right
Abraham Lincoln

I mean any fool can have courage. But honor, that's the real reason for you either do something or you don't
Michael Oher

My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent His rebuke,
because the LORD discipline those He loves, as a father the son he delights in
Proverbs

Just shoot for the stars

been close to two years since I've been here, lots and loads happened:
- survived the sundown Mar 11
- epic fundraisings and Cambodia trip Jul 11
- the conference that let me 'choose life' Nov 11
- heart got smashed Feb 12.. worst one yet, still getting over it...
- persevered through 1st half of 2012
- the conference that change my life, on the Mountain of the LORD!! July 12
- one of the clearest direction ever.. go back!!
- struggled through 2nd half with the decision
- took a leap of faith on 9th Feb 2013
- battled through traffic, comfort, loneliness, efficiency, language..
- loving Jesus, loving the church!!!

I miss you like crazy...

August 2011..
Third day of being back from Cambodia, still having CWS >.<
So so many things to miss, the people: Gerlinda, Chivin, Sovann Sothoun, Panya, Chhavelith and so many other brothers and sisters.. I can feel my faded memory falling apart but I hope that I can engrave their love in my heart.
truly a trip to remember..

bringing sunlight to the dark..

Don't complain. Just work harder.
Randy Pausch

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
Apostle Paul

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,but fools despise wisdom and discipline.
My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the LORD discipline those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.
Proverbs

It is the perfection of God's works that they are all done with the greatest simplicity. He is the God of order and not of confusion.
Isaac Newton

Fight and you may die. Run and you'll live. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance - just one chance - to come back here to tell our enemies, that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our FREEDOM!!!
William Wallace - Braveheart

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with MY righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life.
Mufasa - Lion King

Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37

Thank you govt for your timely donation
now we can put things into consideration
but we may still consider the opposition
and let's not forget the Resurrection

Give me five minutes with a person's checkbook, and I will tell you where their heart is.
Billy Graham

the first superhero: able to leap tall buildings, x-ray vision to your hearts, fly? teleportation? walk on water? raising the dead!!! He's Jesus Christ!!
Wee Keong (paraphrased =)

I'm dying and I'm having fun. And I'm going to keep having fun every day I have left.
Randy Pausch

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!!
Apostle Paul

Plan ahead as much as possible and reserve your will power for the inevitable unpredictability of life.
Vic Magary

People are thirsty and too many drink from the toilet.
Mark Driscoll

A champion is not only a champion on the court but also a champion in life!
Hendrawan - 2001 IBF World Champion

Disneyland is a work of love. We didn't go into Disneyland just with the idea of making money.
Walt Disney

Fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals. You've got to get the fundamentals down because otherwise the fancy stuff isn't going to work.
Randy Pausch

If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world
C.S. Lewis

"For I know the plans I have for you", declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"
Prophet Jeremiah

None but ourselves can free our own minds
Bob Marley

God love your soul and your aching bones
OneRepublic

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito
Dalai Lama XIV

Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.
Leonardo Da Vinci

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein

Boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Boy: Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
The Matrix

Look, I'm going to find a way to be happy, and I'd really love to be happy with you, but if I can't be happy with you, then I'll find a way to be happy without you.
Randy Pausch

If you will not determine to be pure, you will grow more and more impure.
George MacDonald

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Apostle Paul

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
C S Lewis

As the centuries pass, the evidence is accumulating that, measured by His effect on history, Jesus is the most influential life ever lived on this planet.
Kenneth Scott Latourette

Jesus Christ was an extremist for love, truth and goodness.
Martin Luther King Jr.

Jesus Christ founded His empire upon love, and at this hour millions of men would die for Him.
Napoleon Bonaparte

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give His life as a ransom for many.
Jesus Christ

Church, we are plan A and there is no plan B.
David Platt

We cannot change the cards that we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
Randy Pausch

Keep your eyes open, hold tight to your convictions, give it all you've got, be resolute, and love without stopping.
1 Corinthians 16:13 (MSG)

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?
Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
Abraham Lincoln

You're blessed when you stay on the course,
walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
Psalm 119 (MSG)

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
Abraham Lincoln

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom
Proverbs

A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day!!
Aragorn - LOtR

A genuine man goes to the roots. To be a radical is no more than that: to go to the roots.
Jose Marti

Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world.
Thomas Carlyle

I know of only one duty, and that is to love.
Albert Camus

No one has perfect running form, but everyone can improve their running mechanics.
Danny Abshire

If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
Lewis Carroll

The key is not to prioritize your schedule but to schedule your priorities.
Stephen R. Covey

God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk.
Meister Eckhart

But with what we have.. I promise you that.. We're marchin on!!
OneRepublic

To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
Marilyn vos Savant

Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kind, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance!!
James

God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight.
Reggie White

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
Albert Einstein

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Henry A. Kissinger

The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low.
Richard Carlson

Movies can and do have tremendous influence in shaping young lives in the realm of entertainment towards the ideals and objectives of normal adulthood.
Walt Disney

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
Oscar Wilde

Don't take life so serously, no one comes out alive anyway.
Frank Arduini

Gratefulness is a choice; choose wisely.
Cesar Lopez

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.
Albert Einstein