
I can't even believe that it has been two years since my sweet angel baby passed away. We have had so many friends that have lost little children this year. It has been so hard to watch our friends with the lose of their loved ones. It also brought up all of the emotions that we went through when Rylee died. I was able to work through a lot of emotions that I hadn't dealt with before, after Rylee died. I was so grateful that I was able to offer some advice or help in any way that I could during these hard times.
There are so many times when I wish I could have had more time with Rylee. I want to hold her again, change her diaper, feed her, dress her in a cute outfit, make her laugh, listen to her cry, watch her play with my children, take her to therapy, give her medicine, fix her hair,watch her laugh when a child is crying, so many things that I would love to do again, even just for one more day. I still have dreams that she is alive and I can hold her and love her. Those are my favorite dreams because they seem so real to me. It makes me sad when I wake up and realize that it was just a dream, but at least I can feel for a moment that I still have my baby with me. Even better than dreams are the times that I can feel her spirit with me. It has been awhile since that has happened, but I am so grateful for every time I know that her spirit is with me. I remember feeling her when Jake was born, actually because Jake was almost born about three weeks prior to his birthday, I felt her both times. In fact she rode on the ambulance with me when I had to be taken from one hospital to another during the whole Jake trauma. I was glad to have her there with me, it just made me feel like everything was going to be fine.
I just also want to say that I am so grateful for wonderful friends and family that remember her today. That means so much to me. I could never be able to find the words to thank you enough. We have been so blessed with such great friends and family to help us through hard times. I mostly feel blessed today because I am lucky enough to be the mom to a sweet perfect little angel who taught me more than I could have ever thought possible. Rylee I love you and miss you everyday.