How I feel

I'm sure most people, especially parents of elementary aged kids, are thinking about the school shooting in Connecticut. I know it hasn't fully left my mind since I found out about it. I was actually at work in the kindergarten room, waiting for my reading group to come back from testing. One of the other aides found out about it on her phone and told me. I felt absolutely sick about it. I heard a little more in the car on my way home and couldn't keep the tears from falling. Then suddenly I felt peaceful about it. That doesn't mean I don't feel heartsick and sad, I do. I mourn with those parents, students, teachers, and community that are so closely effected.
But I couldn't help comparing the way I felt then, to how I felt on 9/11 as I watched the towers go down and held my first newborn baby close thinking, "How could I have brought her into such a world as this?" I resolved in my mind that this world was a horrible dangerous place to be and that having more children would be cruel. I'm sure the terrorists would have been glad to know that.
But when I read posts about other reactions to this tragedy, I really started to wonder why my feelings were so different. I'm not scared for my children to go to school. I definitely tried harder to let them know how much I love them, and let little things slide so I wasn't yelling at them on their way out the door. But why do I have such a feeling of peace?
My theory is that my Heavenly Father is blessing me with the peace that Christ brings to us when we need it. I have come to a realization, and it hasn't been all at once or something I've always had, but I know that this world has crazy people in it. I know that bad things happen to good and innocent people. If it wasn't that way it would be a world where satan had won. Where free agency didn't mean anything. All good deeds would be rewarded and all bad deeds punished. If that we're the case then of course everyone would choose the good.
With this realization comes the next insight that the only thing I can control is myself. My reactions and actions are the only way I can prove myself to my Heavenly Father. I can't stop people from doing bad things. I can be kind to others and help people that I see need help. I can teach my children not to hate anyone (even boys, I have to tell my seven year old). I try to teach them that everyone is given challenges and blessings. Sometimes we can see them, but sometimes we can't see what is going on inside of a person. I try to teach them that people have a right to choose what they do. We still love them, even if they make choices that we wouldn't. All we can do is follow Christ's example. We can love, serve, and accept people while standing firm in what we believe is right.
The other thing I would like to teach my daughters is to be thankful. I know when I was young I thought I was a good kid, but looking back I know I was not thankful for what I had. It takes experience to know what is a blessing sometimes. As I have grown and matured I wish I could go back at certain stages in my life and whisper to my young self, "appreciate this right now." My girls all have such different strengths. They are so blessed, but are so young it is impossible for them to see how much. They will have to have their own experiences to know for themselves. But I hope they come to realize that If we focus on what we have instead of what we want, I know from experience, that we will be happier. It's not easy or natural, it's a choice to be grateful, one I work on everyday. It's especially clear now that what we have can be gone in a moment without notice, so I'm trying even harder to appreciate and respect what I have.
It feels good to get my thoughts out. I treat this blog kind of like a hybrid journal/scrapbook. I want my kids to be able to see the good times we have had and also read about some challenges I have been through and my thoughts on important matters. I love them so much. So it's ok if no one else ever reads this, but I like to know what the people I care about think and feel, so I think some of my friends might be interested in this.

Harry Potter Birthday Party

One good thing about having two girls with the same birthday, is that they only need one party! This year the theme was Harry Potter. We started with the invitations:

It says:

Dear Muggle Friend,

     You are cordially invited to attend a wizarding birthday party for Gracie Harding. This Event will be held from 1:00 to 3:00 pm Saturday, May 19^th 2012. Meet at Platform nine and three-quarters, currently located at the Harding residence- Cove Street, Providence.  We await your owl (rsvp) at 555-5555.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Harding

Assistant to the deputy headmaster of

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

After the owls delivered the invitations, the party began...

We met outside our house and had the girls go to Olivander's wand store to make a wand.

I had small wooden dowels and these important ingredients to decorated the wands...phoenix feathers, dragon heart strings, and unicorn hair.

Olivander (the little sister) was there to help out and measure their right arm...

Next they came to the sorting hat. I made this cake and it didn't turn out as well as it did in my mind, but it served its purpose and was delicious. Next to the hat are class schedules and pins with the coat of arms for the different houses. For the actual sorting process we put a drop of food coloring under the ice in the cup and when we poured the sprite into the cup it either turned yellow if you were in Hufflepuff with the older girl...

Or red if you were in Gryffindor with the younger birthday girl...

The kids picked up their corresponding schedule and walked into the house where we had set up three areas...

Care of Magical creatures class...

The girls made magical creatures with play-dough and voted on the best one...

Potions class...

where they put ogre's blood (vinegar) in a bottle with flue powder (baking soda) the powder was in the balloon and after they said the spell (Inflatio) they tipped it in the liquid and it inflated the balloon.

Then they went to Honeydukes candy shoppe where they got to make themselves a treat bag...

and they played a game where they tried to guess the flavor...

Then it was time for cake in the common rooms

Then there was time for a little Quidditch practice while the parents came to pick them up.

These girls had a magical time!

HP party extras

 The signs I used...

 The cake...(slight fail)

 Honeyduke's treats...

Halloween 2012

This year the girls chose to be seasons for Halloween. Gracie was Autumn, Kestlie was winter, and Sophie was Spring.

 

 Winter complete with icicles in her hair...

 My floral spring Sophie...

And my autumnal Gracie...

 I had so much fun going to thrift stores and craft stores to create their costumes. The part that was the most fun was doing the hair and make up. It is good to have girls. The girls seemed disappointed that I wasn't dressing up, so I through together a french costume and voila...c'est magnefique!

Oh, how I hate to give up control of the camera.

Yellowstone

 

 

So here are some pictures of our adventures in Yellowstone.

 The girls were great travelers on this trip. They usually watch movies on long drives but since the point of Yellowstone is to enjoy the scenery we turned it off and it was nice. They got to see cool things like waterfalls, geysers, beautiful scenery and some friendly animals!

 Kestlie actually cried when the buffalo passed her window, it was really close...REALLY close.

 Of course the battery of my new camera was not charged enough to record the actual eruption of old faithful, but they saw it, that's good enough, right?

 G's favorite were the waterfalls, the girls were so happy to spend time with their daddy.

 Here they are by the emerald pond.

This was my favorite spot we saw...mammoth hot springs, it looks like superman lives here.

 There were samples of antlers and horns at the visitors' center, I saw the girls picking them up and I freaked out and told them not to touch them. They stepped back and pointed to the sign that said "Please Touch" I felt slightly ashamed.

 What do you know, they are jumping off a rock...

 Gracie's face is priceless in this shot, and her layout is probably the best...

 Sophie wanted dad to scoot closer...

 

Kes was all for it, she probably jumped the most of all of them.