As I sit down to write this post I have butterflies, I don't really know why because I am THE most open person in the whole world. I always say I am an open book, honestly I will tell anybody my life story. I have even talked about this particular topic many times with many people, but for some reason writing it out makes me nervous and vulnerable. Blakely is at the age where it has become out of the norm that we don't have another child so questions start to get asked. I am fine to let people know where we are at, but it doesn't change the fact that time is passing and we are without another baby in our lives. I know people have a lot harder fights then we have when it comes to having children, but this is my blog and my story and I am not comparing to anyone else's circumstances, just journaling our lives and this is our life. After trying for a year to get pregnant we were so excited to find out we were expecting and would be having a baby in early June of 2013. Blakely was especially excited and was convinced it was a baby sister, I was positive it was a boy. I was sick, but not near the death experience I had while pregnant with Blakely and we were getting very excited for another Nelson. On Thanksgiving day 11 weeks pregnant I lost the baby in a very painful both emotionally and physically miscarriage. I was lucky to be surrounded by all my family since it was over the holiday. Since I was quite far along to have a miscarriage it was quite the ordeal. I healed physically and then began to heal emotionally. I found the more I talked about it the more I healed. I was/am hopeful that I will be pregnant again at some point, but starting all over again on this journey after trying for a year and then being pregnant for 3 months feels daunting. Here we are another 4 months later still on the journey.... I know our time will come and I have faith that we will someday add to our family, but I have come to truly know it is definitely not on my timing. Heavenly Father has a plan for us and sometimes that plan is hard to trust in. My babies may be 4,5 or more years apart but I will cherish and love them along the journey because they are mine!
