Why never to ask favours from the designers

Loveflower: Sharing with you a very hilarious mail that i got from sel =) Something to brighten up your dull and boring work week. Enjoy!

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Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence...


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not too busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.
This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.


From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?" Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. Why did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

Day 4 - Spa, Sanur beach, Home

No sightseeing for today cos the weather wasn't really ideal. We had a late breakfast, lazed around, watched tv, went for a 3 hrs Balinese massage plus body scrub plus traditional facial at the in-house spa (Cost: Rp 245k per pax) and strolled over to Sanur beach for dinner at Jimmy's Cafe.

We bought England flag Polo Ralph tees at Rp 499k for 2 pieces cos we wanted to spend the remaining Rp which we had.

Our return flight was really early (6.55am!!) and we got Made to pick us up at the hotel at 4pm (Cost: Rp 10k)... Yawn! Queue at Air Asia counter was freaking long and luckily, we saw the self check-in booth and managed to do the self check-in pretty smoothly. To our unpleasant surprise, we realised that we need to pay Rp 150k departure tax before we can proceed to the custom... Ooh!
Okay, this is the end of our fun, relaxing and great 4D4N trip to Bali =) Will definitely be back in the future to explore the remaining attractions...

Day 3 - Batur Volcano, Tirta Empul, Hard Rock

Photos in clockwise direction: Batik painting and hand weaving at Tohpati. Over here, you can bring a piece of white cloth or shirt for the batik artist to copy the design that you like onto the material ; Gold and silver smith at Celuk. Guy was gluing silver bits together to form the design for ear rings ; Wood carving at Mas ; Balinese painting at Batuan.

All in all, the visits to these traditional art and craft places were really disappointing as the people are more concerned with the sales of their products than educating tourists on the process of making them... So, don't waste your time here and get your driver to skip these places!

Rice terraces at Jatiluwih arranged in steps up hillsides, tumbling down steep-side river valleys and encircling villages. The fertile volcanic soil, plentiful sunshine and regular rains create ideal growing conditions that sustain at least three crops a year. Rice farming from the planting of seedlings to the harvesting is done painstakingly by hand.

We enjoyed a simple and average Indonesia style buffet lunch at a restaurant offering a panorama view of the active volcano Mount Batur and its giant blue crater lake. Cost: Rp 90k per pax. It's very peaceful, quiet and cool (as in weather) here; a great place for you to slip tea, read book and laze away the afternoon.

Stopped for a coffee/tea break at a traditional Bali coffee plantation. Here, you can pay to sample Luwak Coffee (aka the most expensive coffee in the world) which is made coffee from beans that have passed through the intestinal tract of a luwak or Asian palm civet civet (re: animal poo!). We bought a packet of coffee powder, ginger tea and chocolate bar for Rp 150k. Yesh, super expensive! We didn't calculate properly and only found out subsequently that we were 'chopped' by the locals... Argh, we consoled ourselves by believing that these are organic products =(

Tirta Empul Temple, aka Temple of Holy Water, is one of the many sacred sites in Bali. The holy water which is emerald in color due to the formation of the alga is fetched to form a bath place in the temple where people can dip in the pool to purify the mind and body.

Legend was that many centuries ago, a battle was fought for a long time between the celestial gods and Beelzebub Mayadenawa. Once, Beelzebub threw the poison in a river, which subsequently laid to the deaths of the gods who drank the water from the river. Among them, Lord Indra could survive and in order to revive the gods, he pierced the earth with a cane, which resulted in springing of the amrita “Amerta” (water for being immortal). On drinking this amrita, the gods came back to life and overpowered Beelzebub. As per the legend, it is believed that this amrita “Amerta” is the holy fountain in Pura Tirta Empul.

End of the day tour (Cost: Rp 350k). We alighted at Kuta beach, wondered around the shops, checked out the grocery store - Foodmart, explored Bali Hard Rock Hotel (which is very beautiful and posh!) and had dinner at Hard Rock Cafe.

Not much sightseeing photos for today cos it's been raining for the whole day! And driver mentioned that tmr would be another rainy day... Sigh! Where's the sun??

IQ question from my interview session

Hi All, sharing with you an IQ question which was given to me during an interview =)

You, your Dad and your Mum are thrown into jail and are made to line up in a straight line facing a solid wall. There are 5 hats (3 Red hats and 2 Blue hats) and the security guard randomly put a hat on your head. The condition for release is for one of you to guess correctly the color of the hat on your head and all of you will be released; if the answer is wrong, all of you will be sentenced to death. No one is to turn around or talk to each other.

Your Dad looks at the hats in front of him (i.e. Mum and You), ponders and says “I am not confident of my answer and will pass”.

Your Mum looks at the hat in front of her (i.e. You), ponders and says “I am not confident of my answer and will pass”.

You look at the wall, ponders and says “Ah, the color of my hat is XXXXXXX!” You got the right answer and you and your family are released.

What is the answer that you gave??

Day 2 - Water sports, Uluwatu temple

We woke up to a bright and sunny day (good day for sightseeing!), had American breakfast and called a few travel agencies to arrange for an afternoon tour but alas, all of them were fully booked for the day... =( On the 6th phone call, we finally found a tour guide who’s available at 2pm. Phew! Tour information: Friendly tour guide, Made (this is his name), will pick us up at our hotel, drive us to Nusa Dua area for water sports activities and temple visit, and return to hotel. Cost: Rp 200k

Hardworking boyfriend at "work" calling up travel agencies

As the tour guide will be here really soon (in 1.5 hour), we checked out Sanur beach quickly and bought chocolate biscuits for lunch. Hahaha…
First stop: Parasailing plus jet ski at Tanjung Benoa beach. Cost: Rp 450k for 2 persons (which is slightly expensive but no choice, cos it’s low tide and this was the only place for water sports)

Parasailing is so exciting and fun!! We were brought to the opposite bank via a speedboat and the operators appeared quickly to assist us to wear the life jacket and safety harness. Instructions on how to land were given to us (see red flag, pull the red color rope; see blue flag, pull the blue color rope) while we stood in front of the parachute and were clipped onto it. The speedboat moved off, we were lifted off the ground gradually (erh, 3 secs perhaps) and were air borne.
The view from above is superb! You can see the villages along the coast, boats in the sea and little human beings on the beach while enjoying the sea breeze… Ah, how I wish I had my camera with me =P Not sure how long we were up in the air though, but I guess it’s only about 5 mins, hahaha…. Landing was pretty ok as there was a group of guys grabbing hold when you are about 3 meters of the ground.

Up next is the jet ski ride with the instructor where we rode out to the other end of the peninsula. I got to take control for a while (pretty cool!) and it's real fun when the two jet ski started to race against each other. (Oops, no photo here, since I don't have a waterproof camera case)

Second stop: Uluwatu Temple (Pura Uluwatu) is one of Bali's nine key directional temples and is perched on a steep cliff 70 metres above the roaring Indian ocean waves. Entrance fee: Rp 3k and you need to be properly dressed to enter; sarongs are available at the entrance.
The temple is inhabited by large number of monkeys who are extremely adept at snatching visitors' belonging, including bags, cameras and eyeglasses. You must keep a very close grip on all your belongings and stow away your glasses!! AG's glasses was snatched by a monkey who sneaked up behind him; it happily bit off the bridges while we watched helplessly from far...
A vendor came by (almost immediately) to throw food at the monkey to induce it to exchange the glasses for food. The monkey naturally went for the food, dropped the glasses and we managed to retrieve them. Gotta "tip" 20k to the vendor for the food. Ah, we concluded that these vendors must have "trained" the monkeys to snatch glasses for food lor... Hahaha... Anyway, AG was just one of the many "victims" that day and he was lucky that he wasn't scratched by the monkey, cos we saw an Indian uncle with red scratches on his face and his glasses gone cos the monkey dropped it down the cliff.

Man trying to lure the monkey to drop his glasses after it took a biscuit from him
Monkey holding onto the robe to beg for more food

Kecak Dance, a Balinese traditional dance performance, is performed daily after sunset on the eastern side of Uluwatu Temple. This is a very simple performance - the men's chorus (consists of about fifty men wearing only a loin-cloth with the upper part of their bodies left bare) chants the words Cak ke-cak ke-cak ke-cak ke-cak ke-cak, in rhythm, over and over again while the story from the Ramayana epic is enacted. Ticket fee : Rp 70k. Check out the short clip below. (Note: You may wish to lower the sound volume on your computer before you click on the video)

Nothing much happening for the evening... Alighted at Discovery Shopping Mall (instead of return to hotel) for dinner at A&W, did some light shopping and stock up of snacks and beers, took Blue Bird taxi back to home. The End.

Day 1 - Arrival at Bali

Our photos plus itinerary for 4D3N trip to Bali, Indonesia. Enjoy!

Fast facts:
1) Bali is in the same time zone as Singapore. No need to adjust your camera / watch / phone clock
2) 1 SGD = 6571 IDR. For ease of calculation, it’s approximately 1.50 SGD to 10k Rp
3) Average temperature varies between 22 and 33 degrees Celsius. The dry season comes between May and August, whereas the wet season comes between September and April. Think Singapore and pack your barang barang accordingly then.

At the waiting lounge in Terminal 1

We took a flight by Air Asia; return ticket at SGD 188 per person, includes departure tax from Changi Airport and excludes departure tax of Rp 150k or USD 20 (obviously at a very disadvantage exchange rate!) from Denpasar Ngurah Rai International Airport. Do remember to put aside some cash yah and don’t be like us… I had to empty my wallet and gave all my Rp 140k while AG had to pay USD 21 (the extra dollar was to make up my remaining Rp 10k tax…)

It’ll be better to get your hotel to arrange an airport transfer (which we didn’t do cos we found the price of USD 20 per car a bit the expensive) as it’s really difficult to find a metered cab (we didn’t see any official taxi queue lor) and the "unofficial" cab drivers will pester you to take their car at a ridiculously high price of USD 50 per car. I’m sure if you bargain hard enough, the price will go down. (Note: We concluded that it’s more economical to travel to Bali in group of 4s as the prices for airport transfer and sightseeing tours are usually quoted per car and splitting the costs four ways will save you lots of money!)

We walked towards the domestic airport and managed to get an "unofficial" car to Sanur area for Rp 80k (~SGD 12) after bargaining down the price from Rp 100k. (PS: We realized we "shortchanged" the driver cos a metered cab from Kuta area to our hotel cost us Rp 78k and the journey from the airport to hotel is definitely longer!!)

Balinese style chalet. Our room is on the 2nd storey and overlooks the swimming pool

Our hotel - Sri Phala Resort and Villa – is nice, quiet and charming with distinct Balinese architecture, nice small swimming pool, lots of greenery, in-house spa, poolside restaurant where complimentary American breakfast is served daily and is a few hundred yards to Sanur beach via the back entrance.

4 nights stay in a deluxe room, private bathroom, TV (it’s really tiny) and 2 bottles of mineral water daily cost us USD 228 inclusive of taxes and bill is payable in Rupiahs (at the hotel’s exchange of Rp 9600 lor, so high…) upon check out. As we didn’t have enough Rp, we paid by credit card and this payment method will incur an additional 3% charge.

It was pretty late already and we looked for dinner around the neighborhood. Available choices are 24/7 KFC outlet, Dunkin Donut shop, Jazz restaurant and etc and we decided to do dinner at Jazz restaurant as there was a band playing live music (songs in unknown language when we first entered and become English songs after 11pm). Bintang beer is good and cheap while the prices for the usual main course are comparable to Singapore.

Jazz Bar and Grille restaurant and its live band

Enjoying our bintang beer. Cost: Rp 25k, large bottle

Top: Fish and chips, Rp 45k ; Bottom: Chicken cordon bleu, Rp 62k Both dishes are yummy! Total bill for dinner = Rp 160k (~SGD 24). The flip side is that all prices are quoted before 21% government plus service taxes =( Our 7% GST is considered little lor, hahaha.

Rapunzel-Not!

Trying to give a last shot at being a 长发”美女”before I turn 30 (a very big change in the digits), I decided to go for a hair extension. Everyone tells me to just grow it out. I can’t help it if my hair grows very slowly right? I wash it every day (one says this accelerates hair growth), I try not to trim it too often (but it goes so out of shape, it’s horrid)… But to no avail. So instead of waiting for 2 years, I decided to use only 3 hours and 400 bucks to get my splendid long hair.

How it works is that they will match the colour of the extensions as close to yours so that it looks natural. The standard length is around 40cm and you have to decide if you want the curly or the straight version. Actually, they are treated to be either curly or straight and after your first hair wash, you will realize that it immediately loses the effect. I chose the straight this time to go for a younger look.

There are 2 attachment techniques: one is the braiding and the other clips. Clips are just metal rings to bind the extension to your hair. So the hair will go through a metal ring and a plier is used to compress it. The other is braiding whereby the extensions are braided together with your hair and tied together with a tiny rubber string. As seen in the picture, the top end will be folded down to be tied.

And the overall effect is as such.

I have 480 pieces of extensions and each piece is of a certain thickness. You have to be wary of shops peddling cheap prices per piece as they are probably giving you very thin extensions thus you need a larger quantity.

So with that done, I can freely iron and curl my hair as the damage is done only to the extensions. If you are wondering where does the hair extension come from, sources say they are from third world countries. Not from corpses! It’ll be like “The Eye” movie! Instead of seeing what the previous owner sees, my extensions will arrange itself like its previous owner’s hairstyle!!! *Cue horror music*

Horror hairstyle machiam like Amy Winehouse

Oh and the hair doesn’t smell. =)