My Church

I don't think anyone would feel the same way as i do...

But after finding out the real history of our church, i am so like, arghhhh only now i understand why 40 years and youths are SO SIGNIFICANT!

After finding out the real history of church, i am so like, arghhh now i understand why that whole emphasis on joshua crossing the jordan river!

After finding out the real history of our church, i am so like, ahhhh now i now why Ps Tan's message was not just a good message, but it was a God-sent message for OUR CHURCH AS A WHOLE!

COS OUR CHURCH LIFE SERIOUSLY PARALLELS THAT EXPERIENCE, FROM MOSES TO JOSHUA!

Which makes me all teary eyed... cos now after one entire full cycle, i'm part of the bunch that's gonna cross the jordan river and take down the walls of jericho... cos i'm part of a brand new generation... :)

There's a new found respect for all the adults who stayed faithful to this church, there's a new found hope and meaning to what the pastors say when they say we're on the treshold of something new. :) I understand now, i understand now. :)

Saturday Night

Last Saturday night i was stoning like nobody's business. :)

This Saturday night, i'm touched like nobody's business. :)

THANK GUYS, YOU ALL MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT FOR ME. :)

Thanks to everyone in my zone, esp my Project D kids... all of you are amazing guys with such amazing potential! :) I'll pull up my socks and do the best i can to grow all of you! :)

Thanks to all my leaders, who invested in me and believed in me. :) (thanks esp to my coffee buddy whom i still owe coffee too, thanks for teaching me so much))

Thanks to God... :) He's the start, end and everything else in between of it all. :)

My life's more worth than living, my work's more with than just working... cos it's for you all. :)

Dinners, Meetings, Ideas

Yesterday Starbucks was a majorly good time. :)

From then i had many ideas flowing... wow... there's so much to do for this youth group, so much that can be discussed so that we can accomplish our vision. :) I'm so excited. :)

As for the zone, more plans coming up... :) More things happening. :)

I'm in such a dreamy state now i find it a lil insane... but i like it when ideas come, when i start dreaming... :)

This was the question posed to me during dinner yesterday, "where do you see the youth group in 2 years time?"... and it struck me: what i believe for it to be is where it can become at. :)

SAY HI TO DREAMS AND VISIONS. :)

On a random sidenote... hmm... how to find boyfriend liddat ah. Haha. :)

i felt the love of God

So when i imagined Jesus... when i imagined Jesus standing right in front of me, looking into my eyes, stretching out His hands...

I started to hear other ppl laughing... Holy Laughter yoo...

But i started crying. Trust me man, i tried smiling too. But couldnt work. The more He said about the joy of the Lord, the more i cried. When i tried to get a smile onto my face (which i usually do for worship), it didnt worked... i sobbed!

I wasnt sobbing about anything in particular. In fact, today i didnt even care whether crying was weird when others were laughing and he was talking about the joy of the Lord. I knew for sure i was in the presence of God and if He wanted me to cry, i would.

So i sobbed, harder each time Ps Mike Connell mentioned something more about the presence of God flowing.

When he gave the altar for joy of the Lord, i didnt go up. Duh, i was crying for nuts. Hahaha. :) Then Pastor Mark came to me, hugged me and prayed for me while i, well, once again, had another flow of tears rushing out and sobbing.

None of it was sad sobs or sobs over a particular incident or situation. I remmeber clearly thinking that my mind was in a blank! It was sobs of peace, sobs of joy, sobs of i-know-this-is-where-im-meant-to-be. It's was beautiful. :)

Unexpected that i cried? Not really... :) That's the way i usually express God's love flowing into me.. crying... when i feel no sad or negative emotions. :)

I'm very glad. :) Glad that even now, the peace of God is in my heart. :)

THANK YOU LORD. :)

And the finance Word was unexpected, but good... and very happiness. :)

Mike Connell

Nopes once again there wasnt any crazy "manifestations" nor "specific prophecies"... and seriously i dont have to be jealous of that. :)

Because...

God already spoke clearly... i needa speak faith into my own life because God intends for me to be so. I need to believe not just in miracles, but believe that God wants me to have each and every miracle. :) I need to believe not just in a God of abundance, but that God wants me to be abundant.

Yes i cryyyy when i see other people get their breakthrough cos im just so touched and happy for them...

But ultimately i need to believe that even for myself, God wants the best for me as well. :) God loves me, as much as i think and know He loves others. :)

God is so awesome. :)

Him

"Cant live a day without Your presence, closer to You i wanna be"...

How good He has been to me but i've neglected Him...

God, restore, revive, and take the whole of me again.

:)

Official

It's official. :) I have nothing to do now until tomorrow comes. :) For work only lah. :)

Today i was working on a touchscreen tablet pc. It was... shiok. :) Very easy to use yo! :)

But anyways now i'm in a cranky mode cos im rather tired. :)

Saving the words of wisdom for another day when i'm more energetic! :)

MUCH LOVES! :)

Personal prayer

Haha, i wanted to write that i'd better pray for myself every day, and pray for everything else every day. Then i realised, i should just do a solid tabernacle prayer every day then it covers everything, and bible reading should be within tabernacle prayer also lah. :)

Yay i shall extend my QT time... i needa wake up earlier to seek God! :)

Whole Brain Yo! :)

Honestly i didnt expect i would react in such a way to the whole brain profile that i got. :)

I think over these few months i've been picking up mental notes about who people want me to be... and i've been trying too hard to conform to the image. And when too many people tell me who i should be, i try to fulfill everyone's wishes to try to be everything.

How bout this: if you can love me for who i am, i'd accept myself for who i am right now? 

(well, a few months ago i would have been green. Going by how it looks, i think next few months im changing the red. Correction, red's going up quite a bit already haha. Then after that i'd change the yellow. Then finally i'd fulfill my grand plan to move to whole brain hahahhahaa)

I need to continually remind myself that they mentioned again and again: your thinking style doesnt measure your competence! (then that begs the question... am i competent?)

Who i am now, might actually be more than thinking style: values, behaviours, emotions, intellect, will.

Who i can be though, is something else to seek God about. :) I'd change, if He says i should. :)

I'm comforted, cos God says He loves me (even if i had no brain at all). :p

Change

It was a acknowledgment that within the past 6 months i backtracked the past 3 years.

Case of a common known syndrome of slow degradation where one step down leads to many other small steps down.

Not proud of it - but i'm able to change my lifestyle once again. To mould it into someone i want to be.

Honestly when did shujing start listening to weird chick flick songs man... hmmm...

Sorry, but i'm just going to have to reject your invitations to pity parties.

ecosystem

It sounded really like a good idea... a brilliant idea... a big idea. But what's was missing: the users.

Technology many years ago was production driven - cos back then it was about what was impossible but what people wanted being made possible.

But technology now is primarily user driven - cos now people know anything is possible, but they dont want what they're producing.

Its's a changing space, and the users are the biggest players in the industry.

growing up

We're all growing up. :)

We've grown to love more. Interestingly in church, you realise people get close to people they would otherwise not even meet if they had not been in the same church. It's almost like you get to see people from a totally different world when we all congregate together in the same church. :)

We've grown to worship bigger. To move out of who God was to us 3 years ago, to who God is to us now. Even for my idea of God... and of christatianity... everything has changed so much now. In depth, in breadth, and in height. :)

We've grown to empower larger. :) 3 years ago all i did was protecting. Now, with all my naggings all these years, i dont think i needa protect anymore. You all have your sound mind to comprehend what's right and what's wrong. It's time to send out. :)

We're all... growing up. :)

Work Related

Wheeeeee....

Sat in for a meeting today with a major company (cannot mention here, just in case i get sued for confidentiality purposes...), they were talking about futuretv, futuremobile, testbeds and etc etc. But what caught my attention the most was... something about... the future of the screens is that you integrate your virtual world with your physical world. So it won't be social networking on a virtual level alone, but rather, at least something location based. And if possible, real life avatars, or sounds or signals that combined both physical and virtual worlds.

But i was then once again thinking about the purpose of that. Virtual combined with physical world... hmmm... i would rather a million times over the heavenly and spiritual realm into this physical realm rather than the virtual world. Maybe i'm just old fashioned. But hey, nothing beats having a chat over dinner and then a movie at Cathay (with the good and sweet popcorn). It makes sense... it's sometimes anointing that makes the difference when you communicate with someone. And how do you wanna bring across anointing over the virtual world? Cann is cann lahh but hmmm. I get into more trouble when communicating online or even through the phone k.

But yes i'm not here to whine about the boons and banes of technology...

After all, i just finished playing a few rounds of Baja (car racing game on xbox) at work. :) Imagineee thatttt~~

you are the rhema

At the end of the week, this post stands as a reminder to myself for the many more weeks to come: do not invite petty issues so that you can entertain your life with stupid and unproductive thoughts and tantrums.

:)

But also at the end of this week, this post stands as a reminder to myself for the many more weeks to come: you are the rhema from the logos. :) You are the Christian from the Christ. :) Be found within God... and you'd reMEMBER that meeting that happened before time began; the meeting where God thought of me and you, and predestined us for the greatness in this life. (feeling proud of summarizing the book within a few lines)

:)

Once again at the end of this week, this post stands as a reminder to myself for the many more weeks to come: do eat regular meals and dont skip meals as and when you find youself lazy to eat!

:)

Neverthless at the end of this week, this post stands as a reminder to you for the many more weeks to come: whoever's reading this... you are dear to me and i love you! Be blessed. :)

:)

work

It was rather hilarious... there was a lift under repair today at my office... and the sign read "lift under stimulation"... was quite blur in the morning so actually missed the "t" until my colleague talked about. Haha. -.-

Well on another rather separate and random note... i was just wondering if such "technology innovation" was just purely for the sake of it; if "experience creation" wasnt substantial enough. Let's take an ebook for example... i dont think im a old-fashioned person, but i wld definetly prefer a physical book - although it weighs more, it can be carried around and you dont have to stare at screens that make you more tired than usual.

Oh btw... they were talking about having the 3 screens combined and collaborated into one single screen cloud thingem. :) Which i thought was a cool idea but at the same time - what kinda medical effects does it have?

I was pretty tired these few days... but not cos i worked very hard, but because i had to stare at the screen for long hours without taking my eyes off them. Think if i were in church doing stuff other than staring at the computer screen, i would have worked hard but not have been so tired.

So... the question at the end of this blog post: what is the point of such innovations?

And the answer... is.... (blank)

blessing

Because i started with nothing, everything is a blessing.

I cannot be fighting for my rights, because whats "right" and "just" has been meted to me.

I no longer work for my own dreams, but i work for the purposes of God... and i know eventually God will bless me so muchhh because of the nature of God Himself; He seeks to bless because He loves.

I dont strive to achieve something big just for the sake of it, but i strive to achieve all God has intended for me (which is usually big).

Every blessing in itself is absolute; just because something is small doesnt mean it isnt a blessing, just because something is flawed doesnt mean it isnt a blessing, just because something falls short of the what is the perfect doesnt mean that it isnt a blessing.

Because of this,

- I dont mind living in a hdb flat in future. That is a blessing. But a landed property or a seaview-like condo is good; it's a blessing too.

- I dont mind driving a small lil toyota yaris or even take public transport next time. That is a blessing. But having a bmw is a blessing too.

- I dont mind if i get 3.4 GPA. That is a blessing. But 3.8 is a blessing too.

- I dont mind serving God along in future. That is a blessing. But being able to serve alongside some man that i've committed my life to is a blessing as well. (i wanted to add more to the man thing, but i decided, everyone has a huge destiny lah...) 

I want the airport

It's another relaxed night and i get to slack a bit... NAH. :) Haha. I was supposed to give angee tuition tonight.... but i pushed it to tomorrow morning so that tonight i can work like mad with the to-do list i happily built up for myself over this afternoon. :) 

Wow shujing really can find work to do man. :) Haha.

So tomorrow, it's going to be another quiet day again. :) I need to be more independent lah. But at the same time. Haiyaaa. Dunno lahhhh. :) I quit thinking.

In all irony, i want the airport.

Office

It's currently a rainy morning and i'm blogging in the office. Hmm. Yes, im slacking right in the office, but not by choice... none of my supervisors are ard... hmm. 

I have decided, the next internship, i'm going to get some bank/finance institution one... the work until you cannot tahan kind. :) Haha. :) I need a more intensive work environment.... cos it somehow feels as if i'm having a holiday around here, haha. :)

Even hanging around in church last year felt better (and working hours were much longer, haha).

I think i feel useful working, that's why i like to work. 

But other than all such workaholic tendencies, i'm quite a normal person - with no plans up for labour day. :)

Big purchases

The big purchases in the coming 3 months of me earning money:

1) The Adobe student set

2) Rebond hair?

3) Ipod classic

Reminder to self: please, save money from the meals and the movies... and give more back to God.

slowing down, only TEMPORARILY!

I just realised, i already watched before the CHC sermon that i'm watching now. Hahahahaha. :) Aiyo, didnt remember, until i reached the super funny part about sexual relationships. Hmm. 

But anyways, so yes i'm like enjoying myself at home now slacking. 

I really think i cant hold on to such a kinda lifestyle for long, but just for a while, to breathe, to enjoy, not to think, and slow down to hear from God, is coolness. :)

I want to watch more of asia con, to think more God's revelations, to become closer to God. :)

When i save up enough money, can i be selfish and get for myself a ipod classic so that i can store music on my ipod instead of my harddisk cos my harddisk is running out of space and my music takes up like 30gb? :)

But anyways if you've seen me in my unhappy mood, i'm so sorry. :( I only just realised how insecure i am... 

the wind

I wanted to blog about the rain last night... :) About how just in time, i stepped into my house and the downpour started. :) I love the rain, love the smell, love the idea of it. :)

But what was significant about last night wasnt the rain, but the wind. When i was walking home i was like, "whao didn't know leaves flew so far"... it was pretty scary in a sense so i walked faster and faster and overtook the couple walking in front of me. Haha, if you think i was overreacting, hey, at was after all 11.30pm already and i was alone k. :)

But you see, with the rain comes the wind first.

Before you recieve that water - that dash of life - there's going to be the wind. That blows strong. That sounds so powerful. The wind is only representative of the strength of the rain that is going to come next. If you want some strong rain and the life that comes with it, you'd better be ready also for the wind, the stirring, the dashing and the shaking.

The wind's coming anytime soon... i'm feeling it already... a bit of trepidation, a bit of fear.

But i know the rain's coming soon thereafter. The hope, the love, the faith, the joy, the peace. :)

Yes, i am longing for the time when God answers not cos we're feeling so guilty and dry that we're praying and shouting and nothing's happening, but God answers cos we're drenched in His presence and no matter how far away we were, we know when we return, God comes in immediately as well. :)

The stirring and shaking, is preparation, not to return to a vague past, but a certain future. :)

random

Random...

Random... can i have fibre optics involved somewhere somehow for my wedding? :) On the floor or the walls? :) Haha. :) Candles are old-fashioned already, fibre optics is the new way to go! :)

Random... can i have a nice study room with air-con and a whole entire shelf filled with christian books and a flat-screen TV with a dvd player and a vair vair nice and comfortable long couch and just one movable table for the laptop if i strike it rich in the future? :) 

Random... 

Random Posting!

I was being a nosy nosy girl so i went to check out asia con stuff prices on attributes... i was looking at it then i was like, ohhhhh the CD is expensive. Then i scrolled down and i was like, wow the DVD is EXpensive. Then i looked at what was on my table... (not that i had to see to know, but for dramatic effect y'know)... 

It was the DVD.

Haha. Totally, hands down, win already. Not the price bit of it, but the heart. I wanted to still think "no lar, this kinda thing will get for everyoneee onnee"... but haha, ok, maybe i should change that thought eh. :) Thanks man. :)

So yes, i've got asia con to listen to, AFV, and a few other sermon series which i havent been following. That's going to fill up much of this hols, other than meeting up with people, doing posters etc and normal stuffs like that. :) But i'm really hoping to get back to God... to meet up with Him, and grow in Him to another whole new level. I need a spiritual injection of everything God. :) I need Him more and more and more and more. :)

The wedding. :)

It was a moment of "nopes i'm not going to cry i'm not going to cry, i'm not those romantic teary girls". Aiya, but it didnt take a romantic girl to cry.... well i was tearing when sarah was giving her thank you speech. :)

Awwww. :) I love weddings. :) Cos it's so difficult really, to see a good match coming together (think "championing marriages"), cos so many people pass us by each day and it's only a few ppl whose lives can intersect wonderfully into such an amazing relationship.

Well... am i waiting for my turn? Hoping for my turn? Or just not actually doing anything? :)

Dream weddings are still, after all, dreams. For now. :)

(Although ehhh my wedding ah, i shall get some live feed, more pyrotechnics with a spotlight walk down the aisle and all other lights dimmed other than tealights lined along the sides.)

(Then again, aiyar, meet the man already then say lar. :))

when the big meets the small

This is a beautiful world... Where the big meets the small... they interact and something special and precious happens... the fusion, the intersections, the meetings... :)

Where you realise how that small thing you did created a huge change in someone else's life...

When you realise how that puny job you did elevated you to the promotion that you God...

When you realise how that test you studied for got you that 4.0 GPA (ahhh God...) overall...

When you realise how that small ministry you performed contributed to your huge destiny...

When you realise how this small human being tugged the heart of a big God...

When you realise how this minor being of living is called to something greater and larger...

What do you say when that happens? :) "Hallelujah".

Look around

Look around - the things happening around you; they're not new; i'm not surprised that happened; cos it has happened before to those before you. Haha. Same issues; same age; same blurness until you dont bear to say anything.

Look around - the people around you; they're not new either. Haha. You talk the same to them, you do the same few things with the same few people. Same issues, same dependence on some, same independence on some.

Look around - yourself. That's the only thing that can be new everyday.

Thank God; He has the power to change my life. :)

A B C#m

Apologies for writing down this thought... i really do prefer jotting down sermonettes! :) They inspire, they build faith; but haha, today's mood a bit more "stupid" thoughts lah hahaaaa. :)

Well, let's discuss this in a structured manner. :) The inspiration for writing this struck while listening to CHC "latest sermon" for now, the phil pringle one... because of the worship song.

(Wha he just prayed... phewwwww...)

Alleluia to Christ the Lord

Nothing beats having an out-of-ordinary encounter. And i mean UNusual encounter. You see, you can even have repeat spiritual experiences over and over again if you're expecting the same level of encounter with God every time you go to church, or if you repeat your QT formula over and over the same for the whichever-eth year you have been a christian. But such UNusual encounters come once in a while, could probably get sustain you on a consistent upward growth for the next few months; make your proceeding few months after those months a torture when you find yourself not growing as much as you used to; always remind you to return to God in a powerful manner when you realise your spiritual life is not as before. It's a high, it's a reminder, it's a MOMENT. A moment which i would always remember... that hunger, that passion, that fierce cry. And God, please please give me such an UNusual experience again because i do need to move up to another level in You. The only pain is this - you need to be able to fuel that hunger and passion out of a normalness of experiences to reach the point where you are ready for the UNusual experience.

You are Good

Well, for now, it's school. Sometimes people yes. But generally, the big decisions you kinda make in life that affect you for a considerable and substantial period of your life. Or the small decisions you make along the way about the same particular incident, that accumulates until it features big in your life. Sometimes much tears... but because those are HUGE things, you always understand it's God that brings you through... somehow, i dunno why, therein is the irony: it has been easy to trust God on the big items but having trouble on the small items, but it's precisely through the small items that your big items get formed.

I Just Want You

Petty issues in life that occur... and in economic terms, there are the depreciations and appreciations, and occasionally, over time, as you would discover, the devaluations and revaluations. But yes, petty issues, that get you down for the moment, and get you up for the moment. But that's what you face the most.

If for a huge moment you were considering my sub-headings, allow me to offer some explanation...

Alleluia to Christ the Lord: all-time evergreen favourite song because that was THE song when i had that spiritual experience. Representative of spiritual experiences.

You are Good: probably cried the most for this song, cos it was the song i was listening to when i got back my A level results. Representative of the big stuff in life.

I Just Want You: Well, there was one sunday i was randomly listening to this and teared all the way home. Haha. Unnecessary, but just happens, petty issues of life that occur and i forget when the morning comes.

It's not difficult to differentiate the 3. But i'm still exploring the links between the 3.

Let's think of an example. Have you heard of people who said, "it's all about pleasing God, not about pleasing men" and those who claim "we need to see the people lar". Those are 2 extreme views, true statements but used in warped contexts. I thought it's precisely that you wanna please God (Alleluia) that's why you see what works for the people (want You).

Now this is when i'd get scolded for digressing and not giving an answer after all that i've discussed. Hahahaha. But i'm not teaching or preaching here ok! Haha. :) So i'm safe.

Bleah... abrupt ending here. But hey, sermon's more fun to listen to!

(No more running wild....) 

Random

This is already the last week of school! :) I mean, lessons lah. :)

And andd anddd.... i think we all face many petty issues every day of our lives. :) The consolation i can find in that - we're all constantly pettily irritating people, and we're all constanly getting pettily irritated! :) Haha. (Reminded me of CHC service...) So i cant exactly not get irritated, or i cant exactly stop irritating people... but for starts, to not get irritated at what im not supposed to, or actually, not to get irritated by petty issues at all.

The scary thing is not about the petty issues though, it always lies with the bigger issues of life. :)

That's something we're all still learning how to deal with.

I'm feeling... slightly down... but at the end of the day (ok, end of my thoughts for now), i know that God still has a good plan and purpose for me. I'd be happy in, counting down, 3.2.1.

Happiness that overflows. :) Haha.

If i get to post all these in a more lyrical manner, i can start writing my own psalms already lah. Starting with "oh God my enemies (like the cold air con, frizzy hair, unnice ppl) are against me, where are You" then ending with "praise the Lord oh my soul".... haha... i always had this funny thought that in our current context, any psalm wld just be almost emo (esp for teenagers who lead a good life and have nothing better to do other than do manufacture something out of nothingness....)

New blogger templates

Wow blogger template are now quite cool cos you can add gadgets! :)

Yayyy to blogger cos of google! :)

MA Quiz

Haha... i was falling asleep after i finished checking my quiz twice and wondering why people around me were still frantically calculating stuff... Hmmm... :)

Anyways! :) Haha. Last line i said to someone before i fell asleep yesterday night: "Haha ok... shake hands, be a good friend k." So funny. Simple solutions still rock more than complicated answers. :) I think i wasnt looking for something chim anyways! :)

OHHHH CHC latest sermon (for now), the God i know intro sounds cool! :) I likkkeeeee~~~

I AM OFFICIALLY HAPPY. :) Muahahahahahahaa. :)

And ohohohohohhoh april is on its way!!! :)

Rain

Haha it was pretty raining a lot over the past couple of days.

Alllll that nostalgia comes back again and again when it's the rainy day. :) I love it when it rains and i'm indoors, cos it gives a warm and fuzzy i'm-sheltered-and-cared-for feeling. :) Esp raining at night (add a bit of thunder and lighting) and when i'm at home when no one else is at home and i'm jamming my usual fav songs on media player. That's my theory. :)

Shaunster mentioned at prayer that it always rains when something good is happening (hahahhaa, there was one day when it was raining and i went to sms him, "eh, it's raining a lot nowadays so there are a lot of good things happening right?"), andddd...

Well he brought up the example of when we were going for fresh fire AG conference. That was like... before my final exams last year. It was going to pourrrr... and i remember sitting with Bel and Shaunster at Hans at Trinity, and i saw the dark clouds looming (imagine scenery... paya lebar there got not many tall buildings... so you get a very clear picture of the sky). And then i remember messaging and calling and volunteering myself to pick up some people from singpost and chasing them to come before it starts raining like crazy. That was the asia con time too. :) And then i went down to my car to actually studyyyyyy marketing! :) That was a special day.

Well there was another time when it was raininggg heavily. The GoP family movie night, when my mummy said the sinner's prayer, it was raining too. That was also, another special day.

A few weeks ago when i went to the airport... it was raining too! :) Not that heavily though, thank God the bus brings me all the way to T2 straight. :) Viewing gallery was cool, but you dont see much when its raining? Haha. :) That was another special day. :)

Yeps, cheers to happy special days. :)

My purpose is found in You

You see the thing is - "i live to glorify God" means different things for different people. :)

I'm not going to ponder too much about this subject...

But birthdays just make me think about how i want to live my life... what accomplishments i wanna have, what kinda career do i wanna have, but more than the superficial resume stuff, the values i wanna bring and the convictions i wanna live by.

It's easier to see the small picture by looking at how it fits into the big one. :)

Ipod! :)

Haha... maybe i do need to get a ipod... :)

My photos and music take up almost 70gb of my harddisk space! :)

:)

But shall work hard for it! :) Yay. :)

All Things New

Remember when the Israelites went out of Egypt they had manna every morning (other than the Sabbath day) which they couldn’t keep to the next day? J The incense in the tabernacle was burnt every morning (Exo 30:7), that means our prayers must rise up anew every morning! Even the meat for fellowship offering for thanksgiving cannot be kept till the next morning!

 

But can you remember how much people like to hold things and emotions across the days? J Haha…

 

But in the same way you don’t keep the manna across the days (if not it’ll get stinky and rot and decompose), you don’t bring your anger or sadness over across days!

 

Lamentations 3:21-23,

“Yet this I call to mind 
       and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, 
       for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; 
       great is your faithfulness.”

 

Once the morning comes and the sun rises, it’s a NEW day and ALL THINGS are made new!

 

All things are made new – your emotions, your soul, your spirit, your mind. And not just you! Your friends are renewed as well… don’t think bad about them across different days because THEY are a NEW PERSON every single morning! (Psalm 30:5)

 

Zepheniah 3:5,

“The LORD within her is righteous; 
       he does no wrong. 
       Morning by morning he dispenses his justice, 
       and every new day he does not fail, 
       yet the unrighteous know no shame.”

 

If you look at the above verse, God dispenses justice EVERY MORNING! The Chinese have a saying… about leopard cant change its spots right? But the fact is this – in God’s Kingdom, change and renewal happens every day! J Give yourself a chance to renew yourself every morning… and give your friends and the people around you a chance to be a better person too. J Only the unrighteous are the ones who don’t change and don’t let others change every morning. J

 

Also, If renewal takes place specifically in the morning and EVERY DAY, let’s make sure we seek the Lord every single day so that we get refreshed and renewed in body, soul and spirit every day. Don’t live on the anointing from yesterday… because today is a NEW revalation, a NEW encounter, a NEW anointing, a NEW spirit of flesh to be placed in you!

 

HE MAKES ALL THINGS NEW!

 

Isaiah 65:17, “Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things willnot be remembered, nor will they come to mind.”

 

I discovered that there was this journal - "Asian Journal for Pentecostal Studies" - in my school elibrary! Haha. :)

Crazy right. :)

Maybeeeeee i can just have seminary info just in my own school now. :)

Simplicity

I would rather talk less if i could. :)

I would rather need less assurance if i could. :)

I would rather think simply if i could. :)

I would rather be more stable if i could. :)

But still, God always makes me happy and joyful. :)

Talk less

Hahaaaaa... it says that the average man talks about 15,000 words a day, while the average woman talks about 30,000 words a day... 

And i feel like decreasing mine to less than 30,000 words. :) So talkative and whiney lahhhh, i don't quite need it. :)

Actually hmmm i wld think it's not how positively it can go, but how much it can survive pressure and fights. :)

Sneakyyy ahhh

The sneaky overseer is blog-surfing... and really... through surfing through the blogs, you kinda get an idea of who's good friends with who. :)

But muahhahahhahaha i don't get a tagboard. That's good. :)

And neither am i a believer that any portion of my life can be make known to public. :)

Ohhhh weellllll but anyways this portion, after sniffing life (i said it's like drug addict and alvin said yeaaa you're addicted to Jesus so makes sense), is to learn how to be a good friend. Aiyooo even such things are so unnatural! :) Haha now ppl teach relationships until i kinda know what i'm supposed to do... but can someone teach me about friendships first? :) Haha. :)

21st birthdays

Haha...

My ideal 21st birthday is simple. :)

Just bring me out for a movie, then have supper afterwards at one of the usual places. :)

I dont like mass gatherings cos then i'd have to entertain myself and feel sad about why i spend my birthday alone even with so many people around.

I dont like expensive food either cos food to me doesnt mean much.

I dont like impractical presents cos i have too many other things i want. :)

I'm so picky lah. Buddenn again, i'm softhearted. :) So eventually, anything will be good and amazing. :)

Communications

It's interesting ironic that with the plethora of social networks and communication channels, we're just not exactly communicating a lot... :) 

You gotya facebook, twitter, msn, blog... but it's lke reading your bible without knowing God.

CAN WE COMMUNICATE MORE? Roar.

Human tendencies

We're always trying to strive to reach some kind of happiness equilibrum... :) There's a tendency to wanna try to correct what we think is wrong to what we think is right... to correct what we think causes unhappiness to what we think wld cause happiness... to correct what we see shouldnt be the case to what we see should be the case.

It's easy when your happiness equilibrum is changed by yourself... but often times your happiness equilibrum is affected by many other people as well. :) Or rather, you affect the happiness equilibrum of other people haha. :)

Whichever case, hmmm best is actually if you could change your own thinking and attitude so that you reach your own happiness equilibrum with the same old situations. :) So that you dont hurt the people around you; so that you dont cause any unhappiness for others. :)

This is such an egoism (one of the ethical theories) point of view lor. Haha. :) So sorry, utilitarian just couldnt suit the picture at this point of time. :)

Went one whole round and figured...

Wheeee! :)

I'm realistically saying, i don't understand that thing called romantic love. :) Haha. Asked, looked, tried to decipher, but nothing much gave any answers. :)

It would be nice if the principle of reciprocration worked everytime... but the problem is it doesnt always. :) So it's weird when it doesn't and weird things happen. :)

Then you're trying to balance out caring for someone, and really protecting yourself too. :)

Haha... well everything helps confuses me further, doesn't clear the air, does it?

I should stop thinking so much already, sorry for the blabber. :)

Anyway... i miss God, do you miss Him? :)

Awwww

One of the most romantic lines i've heard so far... rephrased of course... "Eve wasnt taken out of Adam's head to rule over him - but from his side, close to this heart and under his arm - to be loved and protected."

Awwwwww. :)

Haha.

Boo

It's a generation searching and crying out for love. And because there's love, there's hope and there's purpose, there's something to protect, something to care for, something to bother about.

You were a product of love, and you are meant to be a bringer of love.

Love that's unsmeared, beautiful, and holy. :)

Haha

Aiyarrrr... i should stop thinking so much. :)

Waste energy only. Haha. :)

Relationships. :)

It's really an interesting time of my life... :)

This year GoP really that loud word is "connecting" and "relationships". :)

And thank God over the past month i've already learnt so much about relationships... sometimes through the hard way, sometimes, thank God, by looking at the relationships for others. :)

Whatever the case, whatever experience i have, to use it to minister to someone else, and use it to honour God. :)

(Wow, good job shujing, that was a nice ending. :))

Young and growing

You're young and you're trying to grow and figure out where you lie in God's mighty plans.

You try to dream bigger than yourself because your God is bigger than yourself.

You try to love more than what you did yesterday because you know there is much more to care about than your own needs.

You try to connect and influence more in a godly gentle manner because you kinda know that's what you're called to be.

But you still struggle between the girl inside you and the woman you are trying to be.

Sometimes the picture is unclear although at the moment certain words will dictate how you expend that portion of your life.

Other times you try to have your life founded on the Word of God, but often it is unclear what the direct decision should be.

The beauty of it all? You depend on God... because you are He says that you are beautiful, you are His beloved, and He believes in you. :)

Discontentment

Was as usual getting out of bed (after a really weird dream) to do QT in the morning... well, i was ultra gonggggg today....

Then i realised... hey, actually why am i doing my QT? Out of a routine, or do i really believe God to talk to me? I mean, yes i can still feel the presence of God after i speak in tongues etc, but is that at a level higher than before? If it's not, then why do i have to do QT to get to a level that i've been at before?

Hmmm... wellies... i've decided to figure out my own goals of doing QT... not just a blind routine anymore, but something specialised for myself. :) Beyond knowing it in its terms of "devotion" or "quiet time", to know why i'm doing QT. :)

Lalala... if i get the resources, maybe we'd see youtube videos my cell blog soon! :)

It can always be better, but be contented

Life can always be better...

Friends can get closer and be there more;

Ministry can be much better without me making so much mistakes;

Studies can be so much better with me studying more;

My preaching and sharing can be so much better with more empowerment from the Holy Spirit.

But i am contented with what i have now and who i am now.

Happiness. :)

Wheee... my happiness isn't dependent on anybody else or anything else, just dependent on God's continual goodness to me. :)

I shall always be happy. :)

And you are invited to share in my happiness (and sometimes whining! haha). :)

Spiritual Life

Whaaa... all that's floating in my head is "put God as your first priority!" then everything else will come nicely in... that's the most basic.

That's something i aim to do consciously... God is not just my first priority, He's my only priority, and all other priorities arise from there. :)

God's my life. :)

And also, thanks to all of you who have been a part of my life... you make my life colourful and vibrant. :) Yay. :) And to all those who love me dearly, apologies if i dont love you as much as i should. Reciprocration is difficult sometimes. Haha. :)

Quiet Time Thoughts

I think....

We all need to continually ask God to help us know Him and love Him more. :)

To ask God for that discontentment with your spiritual life now that you want it to be much more alive and active and that He'd wake you up even early in the morning to pray. :)

To ask God for that discrepancy between what you are doing now and what has been written in the bible that you can do so that you'd know you should go the extra mile. :)

To ask God for what His heart is for those around you that you might be able to know what matters to God and that He'd enable You to do the things you ought to do even if those things are out of your comfort zone. :)

We're all not there yet on our own... ask God, to enable us to know Him and love Him more. :)

Weirddd...

There are a couple of emotions which you might experience in your lifetime...

Exhilaration... usually when you get to do something you really wanna do.

Excitedness... usually when you get to talk about what you've always been wanting to say.

Purposefulness... usually after you've gotten a revelation from God, for me usually in the morning.

Happiness... usually when people praise you for what you've done right and what you are supposed to do.

Disappointedness... usually when you thought you did something well and you're proud of it and someone else comes along and bursts your happy bubble.

Ashamedness... dont even know if this word exists, but it's usually when you've done something somewhat wrong and you weirdly don't wanna tell anybody, including God, about it.

Cognitive-dissonancing... usually when you've done something you wished you didn't do, but you try to convince yourself you didn't do anything wrong still to make yourself feel better even though you can be uber guilty about it.

Hopefulness... this is usually after you brace yourself up and find God and ask Him about not so much what happened, but what will happen. :)

Groundedness... when you hold onto a real promise of God for your life; not just something you heard over the pulpit but never prayed about it; and you know how God is going to lead you there.

Livingness... usually when you realise that God is God. :)

I used to attribute emotions to simply hormonal changes... and now i don't quite think that excuse works. So now the next question... how do emotions actually work, and to what extent can they affect your life? To what extent are you supposed to extend your life? I mean, yes i know God isn't so much against emotions... He just wants us to have God-centred emotions. But... rawr. Hah. :)

I just want You, my Lord. :)

I loved this sunday evening.... it was tremendously beautiful. :)

This song was playing in my head... "i just want You, Jesus... i just want You, my Lord."...

I like to preach loud, fired up, prophetically, correction, rebuke, faithfilled, inspirational. I believe that's how things are supposed to be. :) The challenging, faith-building, praise jerking messages.

But now and then, i still get the reminders, my really true real style... 

is for a soft quiet assurance.

It was beautiful... tears not of joy nor sadness, but tears of comfort. That you know you did wrong, but it doesn't matter. It was peaceful, it was restful. It was, God and me. "I just want You, Jesus... i just want You, my Lord".

Haha on a pretty random sidenote, just now comm meeting we were talking about GoP YAs going up for valentine's day, and i was like, huh we don't follow our cell groups meh? Then it was like, oh ya hor some of them need to be up... haha! It's now at the weird age where everyone's dreaming of getting attached and married. As for me... well, i used to say there's no need for a boyfriend. Now i shall put it the real way... without the correct guy, there's no need. But when the correct guy comes along, there will be a need created, so only then will there be a need for a boyfriend. Makes sense makes sense? :) So that you're not in it because you need to have a relationship with someone, but you're in it cos you sincerely love that person. But anyways i'm not qualified to discuss those matters, so for now, it's to pray real hard that the correct guy comes along. :) 

Aiyaarrrrr finding the correct one to love is small issue larr (it's just that time of the year so have to think about it somehow)... big things coming our way... we're positioned for growth!!! Praying hard praying hard!:)