Weird moments.

Haha. This to me is one big joke.

Much as i know fair well the destiny ahead of me, the big dreams that i should have, sometimes i just let myself get bogged down by puny stuff. Maybe it's just the small me in me trying to act up again.

Kill that small me, i should say. I belong to God. :)

I tried sleeping. I really did. Even though i was so tired in the afternoon. Maybe it's just cos of the crying, or the sadness. I'm glad nobody knows. :) 

It's not me... it's just the small me... which the big I wouldn't entertain anymore in any of my days to come.

ALLLLL THHIIINNNGSSSS NEWW!!!!

I'm back from GoP camp!!! :) Woohoo!!! :)

I was greatly inspired... and greatly taken back to the times when i were like them, so open, so good attitude...

So today (after slacking for one full day including watching youtube videos at night), i've decided to declare a NEW PHASE OF MY LIFE! :)

Oki fine probably cos in the earthly sense i'm quite finished with projects for this year (save for accounts etc... what's coming up will be renewed cell plans and also ministry reorg maybe? :))

But spiritually speaking, no more wishy washy stupidity, no more childishness, no more fickle-mindedness. I am who i'm meant to be. Not just called, not just empowered, but loved and cherished by God. :) I'm meant to read every situation as subjectively empowering. God does everything for a reason. :) Every day is a possibility for Him to change me and to mould me. :) I just wanna hear from God more and more... to stay close... to know what He wants me to do.

Haha. Godly decisions always make me feel good, dont they. :)

Hurh. :)

I have decided not to allow emo posts to stay on top for such a long time. :)

Anyway... just a little thought about SMU's grading system. Currently i'm blogging in the middle of lecture... the prof doesnt even look as if he's truly interested,  he seems as if he listens just cos he needs to grade us. Class participation has truly been thrown out of the window... it's just compulsory so eveyrone does it. Perhaps that's why i enjoy marketing class so much. :) 

So just a reminder... to change programme and programme and programme according to the people and culture. What had worked for SMU's culture previously seems to be working the other way now. Haha.

Oh yay, last group presenting. :)

Oki gone from complaining... one really happy thing is that, whenever i read the bible, i feel compelled to never lead a life of smallness. Do you know how BIG God is? :)

It's an honour to be of use

You see... no one truly needs me... whatever i'm doing now, there are many ppl who cld replace me.

But that makes my position really precious. Cos i'm in a place i don't deserve to be at. :)

It's an honour to be able to serve. Of course, i can get kicked aside once my expiry date is up, when someone else better comes along. But i'm glad to be able to serve at this point of time. :)

I'm glad God doesn't ever compare.

Looking back

Hmmm... things happen quite fast eh. :) 

People are always moving in and moving out... or rather, i might be the one moving in and moving out too.

I thank God that usually the exits come quietly... if it's dramatic maybe it's harder to comprehend and there might be bad feelings around?

A few years ago, people whom i thought i could not quite imagine myself without are all... somewhere. I am somewhere else too.

Now i sound like as if i'm a P6er... haha.

I thank God for everyone in my life now... :) Especially for those in the inner circle, cos it's really by God's grace... that such friendships are formed. And by God's anointing, if these friendships can stay strong. :)

Enough thinking... i've got truckloads of homework to complete. Eh wait, that's quite an exaggeration. haha. :)

Yay! :)

Marketing the church

I really think it's quite powerful to apply marketing to church. Even as i was studying for my marketing mid-term, my mind is just filllleedddd with ways of applying marketing techniques to church.... i'm obssessed with this idea now! :)

Just the most fundamental marketing concept... it's not about looking at your product and then trying to sell it, but looking at what needs there are and trying to produce a product that fulfills. In the same way, it's not looking at church as what it is now and then trying to sell it, but looking at what needs are out there and seeing how the church can fulfill it.

And that last line being mentioned, the church is the most powerful solution to all of the world's problems. 

Ok, now trying to practice self-control and getting myself back to studying - the excitement of being able to apply marketing to church is just too much to contain! :)

A lil struggle. :)

Haha. :) There's now a weird struggle going on inside me... 

There are so many many things to be, so many things that i should excel in, so many things that i cannot just do but must do very well at that. I need to score good results, to be a valuable member in the groups i belong to, to add value wherever i am, to prosper, to be the head and not the tail.

The struggle comes... what if i'm not there yet? 

What if there's a seemingly insurmountable discrepancy between who i am now and who i am supposed to be now? The discrepancy is so huge i can get sometimes pressurized by that huge gap that i somehow have to fill. Then there's somehow that distorted thought that it was never meant to be easy; so just work harder! Think about the whole verse about i beat up my body so that it can come into slavery for Christ. So the struggle is compounded when i see that i should never stop moving on relentlessly because that's what i ought to be doing. It's like a struggle to reach where i think is impossible to reach, and that can get quite tiring at times.

But then again. Were they lying when they said they were too ordinary people committed to an extraordinary dream? Was the bible lying when it gave testament to how every single amazing biblical character was once so flawed but yet eventually emerged victorious? Was He ever lying when He said that the Holy Spirit would be my helper? Was He ever lying when He even youths would grow weary but those who wait upon Him would soar on wings like eagles? I can say this for sure - No.

What's left to figure and struggle about? - that even as i trust in God, i need to trust and have confidence in myself, that i can do it too. :)

(sudden realisation... the struggle is cos i'm trying to use my natural strength to bring forth what God was supposed to using His supernatural strength....)

On a random note... i was actually watching tv the other day (wow....), and it was a korean drama. Haha. Greatest take-away: when we look at weak people, sometimes we despise them? We actually think that they're just living in self-pity and they should just snap out of it? But for people you love and when you really know what they're going through, when they're so weak, you dont actually feel irritated? You feel like you love them even more and you really really wanna help them along... you actually want to care for them more. I thank God that He loves me, and i believe that when i'm weak, it just makes me wanna care for me even more. :) Haha. :) It's a comforting thought k! :)

What i was and will be

I finally figuredddd out some important things. I finally recalled and remembered.

When i was a non-christian i was seriously hungry for something i didn't know about... so i looked for people who were totally different... who were actually, super churchy, in a weird sense of the weird. I didn't want people who smelt like me, thought like me, moved around like me... but i wanted ppl who were absolutely different. Different in a peculiar way even.

[Be in the world but not of the world - being relevant enough that you can be there at the same time, but different enough for ppl to notice that you are different]

When i became a christian i really grew by observing the things around me. Much as it sounds weird, thinking excites me. Knowing how ppl work excite me, knowing how things function excite me. Especially human behaviour, philosophy and whatever not. Those things excite me.

[Mediating on God's word all the time. By applying His Word to the world around me. Wow.]

I still go on my usual routines, to take any bus other than 13 and 16 to transfer to 155... sit at the same bus stop, tread through the same bus stop path back home. But i thank God i'm growing. I thank God my concerns are different than 1, 2, 3 years ago. I thank God i feel the "sunday service feel" less (it's a very particular feeling i feel... not of routine, but familiarity, it's not that bad but not that good either).

[I thank God that the past was good, but the future will be better]

Phew... :)

Wheee!

Yesterday night did something wrong and really ended up (today morning only) with a rather correct conclusion... i need to have more humility. :)


That aside, landed up with another conclusion today during QT.


When i go up to heaven, i cannot
Show God my ministry resume. What is it that i have done that wasn't enabled by Him in the first place?
Show God how faithful i have been in attendance in church. If i'm not careful even church itself can be a pleasing routine.
Show God how much i've done QT. Haha, this point is super funny, cos sure lose if i go on this point - there are people who know how to pray and worship all day long!


I cant think of any more usual factors used to determine the level of christianny i am in.


But ultimately.


I can only present myself to God, holy and blameless, washed clean by the blood of Christ.


(Although i'd probably still have to account for many other things after i've presented myself to God. Haha. :p)

Something's happening! :)

I have this cute sensing that this term would be quite a breakthrough term if i dare push through my vision. :)


It's the 2nd week of school... ... and i'm looking at the stuff i'm studying and thinking cultural mandate. I'm looking at my friends and thinking presence evanglism.


I'm finally thinking something can happen in school.


Now it's not to beat myself up and say why i never caught the vision earlier...


But to say, whatever has to come, bring it on! :)


I shall start with 1 per week... and we'll see what happens. :)



Everyone's calling is biggg and meggaaa. It really just depends on how much you're willing to fight and push for it to come to pass. :)


Just wanna thank God for all the hungry people in my life... you guys inspire me... :) I'm so so so blessed to have all of you in my life... thank God for you all... and while you guys are pursuing those mega God-given dreams, i'll be here for prayer and support k! :) *hugs!

Thank God. :)

I dunno why God has sent me so many blessings along the way... and i thank all of you who have allowed yourselves to be a blessing in my life. :)


I dunno why, but i thank God. :) So much abundance, so much so much so much. :)


But i hope and pray that beyond the blessings i'll push forth towards the one who gives all the blessings too. :)


Let's hope my birthday would be more than a physical one, that i will be able to grow much much much more in God too. :)


Thank You Lord. :)

Birthday. :)

Hey thanks thanks thanks loads guys! :) This is really one of the most memorable birthdays i have. :)


Well i probably wont see Jack's Place the same anymore. :)


My wallet's different too. :)


If anytime i need to switch to paper PDA, i know what book to use. :)


2 more CDs added to the collection... but they'd be more than just the usual collection of course. :)


But more than the stuff, it's really the people... and really really... you all make me feel ultra blessed and loved. :)


THANKS EVERYBODY! :)

Dead man walking

Day by day it's just really thought after that thought that really.... i didn't know what i was talking when i preached about the Person of the Holy Spirit. I didn't know what i was talking about when i shared among the anointing and presence of God. I really didn't know what i was talking about when i was talking about holiness and continual habitation of the Holy Spirit in my life.


I wanted to say that because of all these i'd stand in awe of God - but even in this i don't know what i'm talking about. If I am overwhelmed by the things i know i don't know, what would happen if i took into accounts things which i do not know of?


It's perplexing and mind-boggling and i really gotta deny my flesh to take in all that's been "revealed" to me. I feel super unprepared... ... even Jesus took 30 years for preparation. But thank God moudling is a continual process... and there's no end to this until Jesus comes back again or of course, i die la. Haha.


Thank You Lord, and teach me. :)

Thanks cells! :)

A BIG HUG AND THANK YOU TO ALL MY YM CELLIES! :)

You all really surprised me and made me feel greatly loved. :)

Each and everyone of you is a blessing from God to my life. :)

(I was almost tearing just now leh... so touched haha!)

Musings! :)

I've come to a gradual and slow realisation that school is starting soon. I guess it's not so much of a dread for school - school's good and i know God has placed me there and i know it is always a blessing to be able to go to school. I guess it's more of leaving the routine that i'm having now that's a bit saddening.


Interestingly the past few months have really been quite a dramatic time in my life. And i don't quite need much prophetic powers to know this - it will be one of my better holidays in my whole entire school life. :)


I'm glad throughout this holiday i have had the pleasure of really re-considering my spiritual life and its ups and downs, that i have got to know a few more people better through work or just pure can click kinda friends, that i have expended my energy and found some satisfaction.


From this point on it will be some sort of paranoid worrying that well, i won't be able to do as much. That i wont be able to dedicate so much time to reading christian books, doing church stuff etc etc. Some sort of paranoid worrying also that i won't be able to spend time with people whom i've actually been accustomed to seeing. Haha, they're really fun people to hang out with, but when everybody gets busier with our own lives, if i'm paranoid i would think i won't even get to talk to them much already?


But at the end of the day, i just wanna thank God for all that He has been blessing me over the past few months. I feel really really blessed. :) Really really. I have been blessed with people who care, I have been blessed that i can do things i really enjoy doing. :) And school will be a blessing too, and i choose to see it that way. I don't know what the future holds, but God take my life... and i know i know i know i'd live under Your blessings still. :)

Thoughts.

In my puny little mind i always have to remind myself these things...


1) The House of God isn't looking for any other worker - it is looking for a lover worker who works to earn not money, fame or love, but to serve and love her God and His people.

2) The House of God shouldn't have people who take the shortcut way out - there shouldn't be concealing of irresponsibility with the veil of "you said, "no power, no presence, no point"... and i don't have any of the above, so i should quit ministry." - Loose words, don't even have that thought.

3) The House of God needs workers who are pure at heart - the heart is deceitful above all things and servants of God always need to make sure their heart is at the correct place - that their hearts belong to God and their fierce loyalty is for the anointed leader placed over their ministry - that in all things they do they can account to God that they have done it with the purest of intentions.

4) The House of God is still made up of people - people have their own thoughts, own styles, own minds, own interpretations even of the bible - Paul had to address the divisions in corinthians! - but always submit to one another in love.


I'm exceedingly covetous at this time. What i'm actually coveting for i dare not proclaim. But let me just make sure my heart is pure and my motivations are clean. Only that will make it a proper sacrifice fit for the King.

Expanding the vision

It's quite a cool season in my life.


I have actually swiftly moved away from stage 1: initial breakthrough into a very cute stage 2:transitional phase of my life.


It has been filled with talking to people and reading books which really open up my eyes to a bigger plan, bigger purpose, bigger destiny. Greater glory (especially with the david herzog book), greater move of God in my life, greater anionting.


Sometimes, i really feel like a worm. (worm in a coconut supposedly, but i dunno how that came about.) Worm-ish in a sense i'm just crawling on the grounds of God's glory... there is so so so much more!


When i read the stories of people getting into a portal which transported them into the third heaven... and it just sounds like crazy crazy... truthfully sometimes after reading that kinda thing it seems so much so out of my reach i feel like i don't want to read the bok anymore. It's a weird feeling of so near yet so far... ("we serve the same God" conjures two different responses in me now, one of an encouragement that i can really believe for that kind of thing in my life, another one would be that of some of a ashamed-ness of how i'm not there)


Ok but whatever the response, haha, the discrepency between what i read and what i see in my life is getting bigger... ... so my life's going to get more exciting.


The step to ponder about now? Step 3: Faith-in-action/ways to move into the glory zone itself.

Random, but powerful.

It's quite humorous.


It's always when i feel physically tired or when my day is bad that my QT ends with a "i must seek God more" kinda dissatisfied feeling.


Maybe it's really bringing me into the mini valleys so that i can reach the mountains faster.


I have no idea as of what which mountain i'm supposed to go to... but i know it's definitely going to be a very very exciting place.


Dear friend, i invite you to share in my joy that i have found in the Lord. :)

Random musings

Whether we're a minister or a normal church-goer, our heart conditions are of vital importance.


How many times does God knock you down? He doesn't really. More often He comes only when you allow Him to.


I gotta drill that into my mind and start thinking of a systematic way of how to check the condition of my very own heart.


Haa, i need help to illuminate this deceitful thing... sometimes even i myself have no idea whatsoever of what it is truly thinking.

Blatant inconsistencies

Haha. I'm a weird person full of weird inconsistencies.


I say that i have many things to do, but complain that i'm very free.


I say that i wanna eat, but complain that i don't feel hungry.


I say that i am tired, but complain that i'm getting too much sleep.


Well the consolation to myself is that there is a way of explaining all those inconsistencies... after all, Shujing has really weird thinking which sometimes can be quite unfathomable to others.


But the following is a really scary inconsistency:

I say that i can't do without God, but i still don't pray enough, read the Word enough, and seek Him enough.


Weird, isn't it?

Favourite book

Haha, i'm quite convinced my favourite book of the bible now is Jonah. :) After all, it's about the real story of God providing a fish for a disobedient child with a huge calling. :) Coolness. :)

Blogging in the morning

The term morning has taken on a whole new meaning. :) Haha. :)


But oh well. It's so not me to blog in the morning. But well, i'm in church and currently at the 1st level benches cos there's nobody in the church office and i'm getting a lil tired waiting. Checked my mail, did whatever i had to do, and surprisingly today morning, i have no messages to reply. Wheee! :) So it's some time for God and Shujing. :) And some random time for blogging cos i don't feel like starting on my productive work.


Have been quite busy the past few days, and i foresee, for the coming few days too. :) Lydia's supposed to stayover at my house so that we can discuss engage tonight. Haha. So crazy right.. maybe i should start on that very very soon.


Well but the difference from school projects is that, when i'm in church, i don't ever feel so tired cos i'm always with people whom i know love me and wouldnt judge me just based on my efficiency. It's always much more tiring elsewhere, cos everyone's trying to compete. At least in church, we're all working together. And of course, in school you'd almost never get encouragements; what you do is just what you are seen to be should doing anyway (which is true la). When i do church stuff, at least get a sincere thank-you that kinda thing. :)


Hai... see that's me again trying to compare church and school. Haha. Conclusion? Incomparable.


But God, make me see my school in another way and in another perspective. After all, wherever i am, i'm working for the Lord, not for men.

Hey team! :)

Haha. Finally the Gurmit Singh service is over. Ok wait, but there's still Engage and Youth Camp coming up. Haha. :)


Over the past few weeks i've been going to church quite a lot and have been working with people like Lydia, Shaunster and Hosea quite a lot. :) Not that i've never really worked with them before, but haha, this whole combination of GS, Engage and a bit of Youth Camp is just a lil crazy crazy. (At least i don't have church camp like some others have) Haha. But i'm really quite in amazement how those people work for God.


I tell you, i wouldn't dare to do what my darling 3 months friend could do - she called up soooo many people and still could keep in check who she contacted and what she has to do la.... and not only that. She was at home the other day and we were just flooding her with information from church. She's a crazy crazy girl k. Haha. :) How bout the guy who calls my friend 3 months and me 4 months? Haha... go machine at 12mn! :) And the boss? Hee just see him running around here and there and so busy etc!


And that's just the working part. I guess it helps blasting alleluia when we're working... but those guys seem to have such a love for God... always the presence, the power and the anointing. And 3 months, it was such a bubbling joy talked to you about our own QT lives being brought up one notch.


Haha. This must be something quite precious that i typed out one whole blog post for it. I dunno leh. Really respect them now. :) I guess everybody has amazing bits about them that you wont be able to see until you actually really work with them.


But well there's still a lot more to go. I shouldn't get too happy just yet. Haha. :)


(i hope none of them read my blog btw)


Anyway. Hmmm... i think cellies we should have a annual general meeting soon. Yeps. Haha! :)


And Shujing, let's strive for a more balanced lifestyle yes! :)

All about love, not victory.

An extract from a book...


There is a tendency for people to want to read only about the glory stories that come out of this revival that Jesus is leading, but there are gutsy stories, too. ... ... ... ... The very next Monday, I found myself lying facedown on a grass mat with the mother of one of the little girls who had died. I lay down with thsi woman and wept with her, holding her in my arms. It was then taht God said to me, Heidi, it's about love. It's not always about victory. Our whole life cannot be about victory and glory - but it must be about love.


From the Heidi Baker book who has churches where the blind see, the deaf hear, the dumb speak, the crippled walk, the dead get up.





My takeaway? After crying so hard to Sarah Lin on Saturday... our conclusion is that... God is a God of perfect balance. :)

The smile of victory in Christ

On a really random note, i figured out i love songs that have a victorious feel about them. Like winning a gold with honours at SYF and you're crazily hugging your batchmates and crying in joy kind of thing. But something more. I always imagine... having the celebration of a breakthrough in God, when the whole youth group (in my mind, we'd have already filled the 4th floor) singing a declaration of praise and worship to God. Funnily these songs range from Centre of My Life by Hillsong United to Alleluia to Christ The Lord by CHC. They make me melt you know. Haha.


Now to the main point of my blogging.


My spiritual life has been nothing less than quite a roller coaster in the past 2 weeks. Haha.


In the lowest i was so worried i was even thinking, "maybe i should just backslide for a while, then when i come back i'd be sooo hungry for the presence of God once again". Haha. Of course that stupid thought was followed immediately by another stupid one, "eh, but even if i backslide and get back to God, 3 years after that i might not feel the hunger anymore too... then hoowwww?!!"


But i guess, yes it's true, the valleys are usually the fastest ways to the mountaintop.


I thank God i'm starting to get a lil more hungry and desperate for Him. It's like, i've never used so much of my energy to try to yield to the Holy Spirit, you know. Not even during YA camp when i was quite sad for a moment as well. (Even then God talked to me directly through the sermon.... it just addressed every single concern i had at that point of time) I guess Wednesday prayer was quite a good time. :) Especially the manner which the Holy Spirit talked to me through Hosea. Made me understand better what's tarrying... ... but at the same time, understanding God doesn't hear you when finally He reveals Himself to you, but at the time you cried out for Him.


I'm quite happy now you know. Haha. I was perpetually smiling almost the whole time yesterday evening. I mean, not continuously la, cos my muscles would just cramp. But whenever there was a lil opportunity to show my excitement i was smiling. Haha. Maybe this might be something called gladness? :)


All that being said. I declare 3 1/2 years after i got first saved, that i have so little knowledge and personal relationship with God that it puts me to shame entirely. But its in the knowledge of that poverty that i believe God will come and teach me His ways... not of the pathetic knowledge i have acquired over the past few years (which is good but isn't enough), but more of His fullness and realness in my life. Like what Rachael said yesterday, we think we know hunger but we actually don't. Hee. :)


Almost 3 1/2 years of my christian life has past. And in the coming years, Holy Spirit i'll be climbing the mountains with You until i finally see God the Father and Jesus Christ the Son yep.


A real and personal relationship with a Person. :)

Perturbness

I'm greatly perturbed.


It's only slightly correct to say this, but i've just realised how little i know about God and His ways.


God doesn't need scribes... He wants disciples.


But i am quite happy that it has come time me to confront this problem straight on... there's no running away now. :)


While i sort out this problem of mine, there are many more things happening out there in the world. I'll save that for another post to come by.

Worm Shujing. :)

I smiled when i read this verse.


Isaiah 41:14. "Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O Little Israel, for I myself will help you," declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel."


Indeed, i'm described as "less than nothing". Not that that disturbs me in any sense. I'm fine with being a worm cos i know there's always a mighty living God going with me. :)


Worm Shujing's quite happy today. :)

Psalms (my own version)

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?


My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
These things i remember
as I pour out my soul:
how i used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,


declaring
"It's the power in the person
of the Holy Ghost.
He is real;
I know He lives.
He's alive, cos' He's so real
In my life."


Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Saviour and my God.

Attempt to make sense of it. :)

Yes once again it's revision, and this time for TWC... and if you would recall i had blogged about this book before. This time again i am yet perturbed... by a few paragraphs talking about by the Spaniards conquered the Incas.


"Governer Pizarro now sent Friar Vicente de Valverde to go speak to Atahuallpa, and to require Atahuallpa in the name of God and of the King of Spain that ATahuallpa subject himself to the law of our Lord Jesus Chirts and to the sreice of His Majesty the King of Spain. Advancing with a cross in one hand and the Bible in the other hand, and oging among the Indian troops up to the place where Atahuallpa was, the Frair thus addressed him:'I am a Priest of God, and I teach Christians the things of God, and in like manner I come to teach you. What I teach is that which God says to us in this Book. Therefore, on the part of God and of the Christians, i besech you to be their friend, for such is God's will, and it will be for your good.'


"Atahuallpa asked for the Book, that he might look at it, and the Friar gave it to him closed. Atahuallpa did not know how to open the Book, and the Friar was extending his arm to do so, when Atahuallpa, in great anger, gave him a blow on the arm, not wishing that it should be opeend. Then he opened it himself, and , without any astonishment at the leters and apper he threw it away from him five or six paces, his face a deep crimson.


'The Friar returned to Pizarro, shouding, 'Come out! Come out, Christians! Come at these enemy dogs who reject the things of God. That tyrant has thrown my bok of holy law to the ground! Did you not see what hapened? Why remain polite and servile toward this over-proud dog when the plains are full of Indians? March out against him, for I absolve you!"


Those few paragraphs served as justification for the mass-slaughtering later on.


Maybe i should enroll myself in some class about God and politics... cos i really can't figure out what the above really amounts too.


And also raises in my mind the question that arises now and then - God is the same forever, but our "religion" always changes with our cultural and political situation. So how much is that ok, and how much is it not?


Well, just for some intellectual thought. Back to mugging my book brainlessly now. :)

Random morning ramblings. :)

Yes, it's once again the happy mornings when i stay at home to study the whole day. :) (And catch up on some sleep as well...) But before i start my smugging, i was obviously reading blogs again and stuff liddat.


Finally after such a long time of reading blogs i figured out that all of us really have our own strongholds (knew that all along but didn't sink into my heart). Stuff that people find obviously wrong about us, but we don't see it cos it's really quite "a part of us" to think or do things in a certain way.


From my current favourite spiritual warfare book by Derek Prince (i shall go buy/borrow some of the books for my after-exam feasting), a stronghold is something that blinds men's minds so that the light of the gospel cannot shine in.


It's not like we haven't been saved yet you know... but it's that part of us that if we breakthrough out of that situation, we'd be able to serve in a greater capacity than we have before... :)


Wheeee i'm still in the process of figuring out what stronghold the enemy has over my life... well, i'm blinded remember? If you have any comments to offer about what kinda stronghold you think i'm suffering in, do tell me (in a nice way if not i'll go crazy). :) Hope i get out of this stronghold soon though... there's so much for me to do such that i really have to unleash my potential. :)


Actually come to think of it (i just visited my own blog), i do have an inkling of what kinda stronghold im stuck in. Haha. It's obvious!!!


But well, in the process of trying to break out of it, it's back to smugging. The topic of the day is Management Science... the world of linear programming, special and queuing models and the such. :)

Bunchies of randomness. :)

Ended off comm meeting just now talking about me building skyscrapers. :) Exciting times ahead! :)


Oh ya another random comment... just realised today that the piano bits in "Best Friend" - the hillsong united album - are really nice! :) Gotta practice my piano harder. :)


Is that all i wanted to say? Yeps! :)

QT. :)

You'd never know how sweet your QT would be until you've done it. :)


Just had to say that - cos my QT just now was especially sweet even though i wasnt in the best of conditions to do QT as i was thinking just one minute before i started my QT when i was in the toilet. Haha.


Like what i learnt at music prac, you don't wait till you're totally clean before you come before God... if you would learn how to come in the state you are, He'd always be able to clean you up. :)

Morning ramblings. :)

It's a on-off struggle doing what you see the need in doing but at the same time you know you're not that talented at it and there are many others much more talented than yourself. (I'm not the only who who feels this way right? haha...)


But i guess... as i have mentioned briefly before, how talented you are is beside the point; how available you are is what really matters. :)


Tagline moment: God doesnt always call the equipped, but He always equips the called.


Sometimes when we're doing what we arent naturally capable of doing, we really really recognize that we're ultimately working with God cos there's really no "our own strength" to rely on.


(oh yay, i have succesfully averted myself from a potential pity-party, congratulations, Shujing!)


Hopping off for games day now! :)

Turbulence! :)

Haha today has been quite an emotionally turbulent day. One of the days when i just talk and mutter to myself.


Well it kinda helped me understand myself better though (although i probably would think others would find these things about me obvious even though i dont notice them myself)...
1) I am quite "weak" sometimes.
2) I can't hide my emotions for nuts. Haha.
3) To others, things which i think i might have done well are just at most "good attempts" with a huge "try harder" following, and that can be quite discouraging. But it's good cos it also means i've got to be really be forgiving towards others who don't meet "my" standards too. Be slow to judge cos i'm really quite bad at it myself too. :)
4) I'm a bad counsellor. For some people la at least. :)
5) I simply don't know myself well enough.


Haha, God has made His creation really interesting. Sometimes, i think i can get just a lil cranky thinking about it. Heh.

Awed. :)

This post will be incoherent cos i don't really know what i'm trying to blog about.


Just kinda follow-upped with 2 girls from kelly's cell who just got saved. Hee. And they do have child-like faith. Which is to me, really precious. It's amazing how God transforms people and opens up their hearts so much that they wanna know about Him so much. :) Supports my personal theory that when you say the sinner's prayer it's as though God gave you the imputed knowledge that He is God and there is none other than Him. A personal revelation when you open up your heart to God. :) When i see people get saved, it really just overwhelms me over again and again that God is indeed real in a real sense. :) He is, the God who Saves. :)


Come to think of it i have been saved for more than three years already. So fast huh. I remember there was a sermon that gave the statistic that a lot of people sitting in church now wouldnt be here 3 years later, and i remember telling my friend that i dont wanna backslide. Haha. I survived 3 years already, and i'm still saying i dont ever wanna backslide... more than that, I wanna love God more and more.


His love is immense, and His grace is always extended. :)

Da supermarket trip. :)

In my opinion, the most romantic place to go for a date: the supermarket. (I'm serious... hee!)

Weird and random thoughts.

When i die....


... I wanna die when God takes me home. If in any case i become some kind of vegetable state, you can take my organs away, but don't try to artificially cut off my life. You don't know what will happen with a few more moments of breath and really, if i need to die, God will take me away.


... I wanna donate my organs (if they can be used) to anyone who needs them. :) My physical body is really of no use to me when i'm going to have a new more perfect version in heaven.


... I wanna have a christian funeral. Not just because its smokeless, more clean and not noisy, but even after i die i wanna honour God until im burned into a puddle of ashes. Hopefully there will be a full sermon (forcing everyone who goes for my funeral to hear a full sermon) that includes the gospel and a altar call for non-believers. Oh ya, if a song should be played, i'm not really familiar with hymns - but how about doing Corrinne May's The Answer? I don't mind that song for my funeral.


... try raising me from the dead only if you really really (as in really really) hear God telling you about it. Haha. I heard a sermon before where the speaker was joking if u try raising someone from the dead that person might sometimes be angry at u cos he/she prefers to be dead than alive. Haha. Cos the thought of having to die again is just, weird. Just a joke k, haha. :)


Don't worry, committing suicide is not on my mind and i seriously don't think i'm going to die anytime soon cos simply, not being ego-istic and self-confident, i still need to live life because i still have a lot of things to do for God. :) Just wrote the whole chunk about donating organs cos that was on the news. (Yes, i listen to the news sometimes...)


Yay. :) Thank God. :)

A bunch of cool pic

I was attempting to do the poster for the coming week... and stumbled upon these pictures which are quite cool. :) From the point of view of google earth.

When Moses parted the red sea:

Hey look, there's Adam and Eve! Oki this was supposed to be Google earth view of the Garden of Eden but i could never really spot the couple, haha.

Yay next up, Noah's ark. :)

Finally, this is kind of a interesting image of the cruxification scene.

Why in the world do we work?

It's an interesting timing to actually be listening to Benny Ho's sermon on "why in the world do we work?", i mean, the in-thing of the season is evanglism eh? Haha... but it was interesting and well if you're interested to know whether you are a workaholic, do the test below...


Personal evaluation to find out whether you are a workaholic:

1. I frequently meet ppl authority, but who are really no better than i
2. Once i start a job, i have no peace until i finish
3. I like to tell ppl exactly what i think
4. Whereas most ppl are conscious about their feelings, i like to deal with facts
5. I worry about business and financial matters
6. I often have anxiety about something or someone
7. I sometimes get so preoccupied with a thought that i can't get it out of my mind
8. I find it difficult to go to sleep because of something bothering me
9. I often find it difficult to relax; i need to be doing something
10. My mind is often occupied by thoughts about what i've done wrong or didn't do
11. My concentration isn't what it used to be
12. My personal appearance is always clean and neat
13. I always feel irritated by a messy table
14. I am more comfortable in a neat, clean working environment
15. I cannot go through a day without a schedule or to-do list
16. I believ that the man who works e hardest should get a head
17. If there's a job to be done, i'll cut down on leisure time
18. My conscience often bothers me about thinhs i've done in e past
19. There are things which i have done in the past that if made public, i would be embarrassed greatly.
20. I feel uncomfrtoable unless i get the highest grade in school
21. It's a bother when ppl get confused because they don't bother to find out about the facts
22. I frequently feel angry without knowing who or what is irritating me
23. I can't stand having my cheque-book or financial matters out of control
24. I think talking about feelings to others is a waste of time
25. I spend a lot of time washing something or keeping things clean
26. I like always to be in control of myself and thingshapenig
27. I have few or no close friends whom i share my feelings with openly
28. I feel i need to know the future to be in control
29. There are sins in life which i committed which i haven't lift down
30. I always avoid being late
31. I rarely give up until e job has been completely finsihed
32. I often expect things expect of myself tha no one would ask of himself
33. I sometimes worry about whether i was wrong or made a mistake
34. I would like others to see me as not having any faults
35. The groups and organistaions i join have strict rules and regulations
36. I believe God has given us commandments to live by, and we feel if we don't live up to them

My score's a happy 24. Haha. (In the congregation at that time only 1 2 ppl had a score above 25... haha)

Oki so what did i realise... i'm prone to being a workaholic.Tsktsk.

Oki besides that part, one thing which really hit me was that there's this thing called primary calling, and this thing called secondary calling. Our primary calling is a calling to being, which is, in other words, a calling to be a child of God. Our secondary calling is to be something - teacher, businessperson, engineer, whatsoever. And those two have to be in balance.

Also, ambition is fine - just that it's like hunger. Too much of it and you become a glutton... too little of it and well, errr, that usually doesn't happen. Haha.

Wheee~

The need to be special and loved. :)

Wheeee i was just thinking back about what Rachael shared at YM service a few weeks ago about girls needing to feel special and to feel loved. Like a princess.


I never really liked to admit that i have such a need (which is usually more subtle that i don't realise its existence... the only time it's obvious is on my birthday if i'm free enough to even think about it), cos it used to seem to me like a sign of weakness. I mean, we're supposed to be complete in Christ yea.


But yea, i'm proud to admit that i have the need to feel special and that need has been fuflilled by God.


Don't know if you actually know the story of how i got saved, so here goes:


The first time i went to any church was when Fangi brought me to City Harvest cos i missed EAOG's christmas service haha. I was blur like sotong and wasn't even really interested in God before that... i had real stupid reasons for going to church k. Firstly i figured i needed a religion, just in case i died early, so that i cld get to at least some heaven. Secondly, i was hearing a lot about the end times coming from my classmates and i was like, huhhhh i'd better get a religion soon la then even if the world came to an end i can save my own skin (actually on hindsight, this was actually a way that God attracted myself to Him... cos i hardly heard about ppl talking about end times in my school etc after i actually got saved, hah). I was actually quite open to any religion... so why did i choose to try out christianity? Cos to me then, it was the more appealing one cos my more "cool" friends are in it. Haha.


Well ok despite me entering church for the wrong reasons, guess what, i had an encounter with God the first time i went to any church. Never even heard about Jesus before, mind you. But in the first service i went to, when the praise song started playing, it was a crazy wooooshhhh. I suddenly felt a sense of deep peace, but at the same time, i felt like cryingggg... not because i was sad. I wasnt unhappy at all at that point of time cos my prelims got a real good perfect score. But ya, i felt peaceful at the same time i felt like crying. Like nothing i have ever felt before. In an instant i was brought to meet God, even though i couldnt even make sense of what was happening around me and i refused to cry. (well which is actually why i value worship so muchhhh... because the start of my salvation was during praise and worship) Anyways, first time to church, nopes didnt accept Christ.


FIrst time didnt accept Christ, never mind. Second time was to EAOG for a production (which i never figured out what it was haaaa... i was honestly blur throughout the whole thing). I suppose an altar call was given... but i cant remmeber that at all. All i can recollect now is that after the whole production ended, i was crying again because of a special touch from God... crying to Sarah Seow and Fangi was around too and some others. Can you imagine that? I was crying like nutttsss AFTER a productionnnnnnnnn.... there wasnt even any nice music in the background! Anyway, had in mind possible parental objections so didnt accept God then.


Third time to a church... this time to Ignite. 22nd Jan 2005, if i'm not wrong. That was the service which was, as i learnt later on, supposed to empower believers, i think. Dunno if an altar call was given for newcomers. But that day the hall was sooo crowded i think some of our churchies were standing on the steps to the stage. I was in like quite a happy corner of cornerstone... and guess what. Crying again. Couldnt help it this time... felt God's love soooo deeply that i knew i can never ever deny His presence and His reality. Aunty Aye Lan came over and she obviously could see me crying like mad and she knew i was new and she asked me whether i wanted to receive Christ. By then i was in a whole puddle of tears and figured, there was no way i could deny Christ ever. So i said the sinner's prayer. And in that instant, it was as if i suddenly knew who God was, who Jesus was... and when i confessed that He's my Lord and Saviour, i did it with all my heart, not cos i learnt about Jesus before that, but because of an instant imputed knowledge given by God when i confessed all my sins.


Ok that was a long story.


Eventually it took me around one month to stop crying during service. I'm serious. I was crying every single time i talked to someone about God or someone talked to me about God. And i stopped crying not because i didnt feel that touch anymore... but because, i got used to it. That peace which made me, the sinnerr who knew nothing about God and didnt really wanna know Him, cry and sob, is now readily available. I still feel the presence of God coming into my heart everytime i talk to Him... on the bus, when i'm walking, when i do QT... though i don't cry because of that anymore; because i'm soooo used to it already because it's always so available to me.


The other characters mentioned in my testimony have probably forgot about all these things already. But i remember, and God remembers too.


And until now i haven't heard of anyone else who has a story in this same manner and in the same encounter. This is my own salvation testimony, which makes me feel sooo special, and greatly loved. Just a princess? I think even more than that. :)

Recess

Shout with me, "RECESS!"

Yayyyyyyy.

Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day today (not exactly because "today" is yesterday).


I was actually half-sad. Not because i didn't have someOnE to celebrate Valentine's Day with other than my fellow churchies, but because nothing happened in my school. Nah no initiative giving out any presents, lollipops, tissue packets, no nothing. I'm envious of the NUS and NTU people. Really envious. Well at least i did what i can with the people in my sphere of influence.


Ok to the happier things.


I realised i haven't thought about BGR issues for quite a long time already. Did think briefly today since after all, it was Valentine's Day...
1) A nice song to play during my wedding would be "God must have spent a little more time on you"
2) I think a year later during Valentine's Day i might just start singing "Somewhere out there".
3) The most romantic scene i can ever think about is the sing "Bless the broken road" duet while playing piano accompaniment at the same time. (Then again, i'm not carrie underwood, so maybe not haha)


I'm drawing nearer to the marriageable age but i still have no idea what i look out for in a partner. Hmmm. But i'm quite happy with having every as friends now. It's much more relaxed and better than complicating the whole thing with anything else other than friendship. :)


Anyway, hope you had a good Valentine's Day. :)


God's my biggest lover. :)

Interesting. :)

Dear reader,


Yours truly here is currently trying to figure out why you read her blog. It's boring, normal (even though i know a christian's life ought to be exciting, but much exciting things i forget to post here -.- ~), repetitive in theme, and even the style is the same (duh, i write it everytime, haha).


There are many other lives that seem more exciting than mine to read about, many other bloggers who have much more interesting thoughts to share than me, many other blogs that have more beautiful templates than mine!


Which leads me to this question: why do i even have this blog to start off with when i didn't have in mind to entertain my audience or let people know about my life? The original reason has kind of altered over the years because of the shift in demography (i'm using this word in the wrong sense here, haha) of the people that are reading my blog. The current reason why i'm still keeping my blog, is plainly because I ("i" with the capital letter) actually read my own blog...! (And come out of my blog getting bored only to browse through others.) Well, i read my blog to do a mini revision of my life everytime i read my blog entries because each entry brings into mind not just the things written in that entry, but the feelings and emotions surrounding the event stated as well as surrounding events and things that happened during that time frame. (from which i note the things i think about have really changed over the year.... hee!)


But i still wanna thank you, dear reader, for reading my blog (whatsoever reasons you do it for) -- for even the puniest of interests you have in this life which God is still moulding.


Just to demonstrate my point that God is really still moudling me, i shall refer you to my past blog at http://ham-omlette.diaryland.com/. (Password: asdf, Username: asdf) (in the time that protected blogs were in fashion) Go to the archives and it dates all the way back to my sec3 days and also the first few months when i first got saved. I have to admit that i deleted that blog only partially because i was too lazy to update it... the main reason is because i was quite embarrassed about how i used to think and what i used to talk about. It's like, airing dirty lingerie. I got disgusted after reading my own entries (worse than a emo sec3 girls' school girl). Scroll down the archives all the way to the 03 ones to get my point. Haha. The only entry that isn't repugnant is probably the latest one on that blog... the rest of the blog entries, please read at your own risk. My dear friends and cell kids, if you're reading this, you can be elated that i have improved quite a bit (although still farrrrrr away from what has been intended for me).


Haha now, after reading my past blog, i feel as if i lost all my anionting already. Whaaa who am i, or rather, who was i Lord? Thank You Lord for tolerating me all this time, and now as well. (in this instance, i'm reminded again of God's grace towards all of us. If i looked at my blog in my capacity now as a 3 year-old christian who knows at least a little tiny bit of what being a christian means, i could never ever imagine that the writer of that blog would be anything great in the kingdom of God... just, look at how she talks and the way she thinks! But "look what the Lord has done hey hey hey!" -- I never deserved it, don't deserve it even now - how much You love me, how far You've brought me, how high You've flown me on Your wings, how many times You've carried me on Your back when that was all i could wrestle to pray for. "And You loved, a people undeserving")

"You ask me how, how i can be sure, how i know it's not just something else for fun.
Cos He's so real, so real in my life, He picked me up and turned my universe around.
Jesus came in, He came into my life, and i know i never felt so good.


Cos everything's changed, everything's different.... now"

-- Everything's changed from planetshakers (all that i want green colour album i bought probably wihtin 4 months of my salvation)

Chinese new year! :)

Hee i'm totally tired out after a school week (which is 3 official schools days and 3 project days, although today is only a wednesday... hah), so i might just sound a little grumpy here.


Hah recounting from my memory, had reunion dinner already on Sunday night. I was unfortunately stoning throughout almost the whole dinner (and silently observing interesting family dynamics), until my uncle asked whether i was still in the same church or not. Wheeee my uncle's an elder in his own church and all. A little more info about my family... my family was quite full of non-christians until 3 years ago when my clique of cousins started getting saved (every single reunion we have we'd talk about church church church and more church), and i think during the dinner i overhead something along the lines of my eldest uncle attending church too. Interesting eh. Good thing my ah ma was saved before she died (although me and my puny brain then didn't quite process correctly what being a christian meant, all i knew at that time was that i was glad to attend a smoke-free funeral). Ok back to the main point... after the dinner ended (oh ya the desert was some coconut thing again... quite cool... and ate something they called pen cai, some mixed vege and meat in a whole tub thing... which was ultra filling!), my uncle told me "serve the Lord!" as his ending message. Haha. It really sounds happier to know you've got a family member who's on the same side as Jesus too... not that my cousins arent, but it feels good to know that God is working amongst the "older" generation too. :)


Ok i'm really a bit tired now... eyes lids have that kinda closing kinda feeling. My dad proposed to visit the sentosa flower exhibition later. I'm like seriously like not interested in flowers (especially when i just feel like plonking myself onto my bed and hibernate until like, end of chinese new year or something haha), but i think i'm just going to go to spend some time with my family la.


Until tonight, an a few hours time when mini reunion dinner starts, it's going to be hi TWC for now.


Signing off, Shujing from within the tummy of the school library. :)

Ignite-d. :)

Is it possible to fall asleep well after having listened to 3 sermons in a day (of which 2 i found particularly amazing) and responding to 2 powerful altar calls straight after getting home? Haha. Well i did a bit of homework after getting home from ignite... and then fell asleep. Hah. So horrible right.


But well i've planned out a new battle plan by today morning. :) I won't announce it here though, it's a rather big plan, but if it's successful you'd definetly hear about it cos i'd probably share my testimony sometime. Haha. My life's going to be quite exciting in the days to come i think.


Well with ignite yesterday night, whenever i come across the verse about having a sea of witnesses surrounding us, i'd never think about the same things again...

• In AD230, there was a girl named something like Cecelia? :) The church was still young at that time and christians were still being killed. Cecelia probably knew what was going to happen to her then when she started spreading the gospel. She did get martyred at the tender age of 16... but by then, she had already shared the gospel with 400 other people.
• In AD304, there was a girl named erm, dunno how to spell this, Lutchya? She got saved at 8 and she felt shortly after her salvation that God wanted her to remain single so that she can serve God wholeheartedly. But sadly, her mum had already promised her to someone else in marriage. Fortunately, she shared the gospel with her mum and her mum finally got saved and agreed to not making her marry. However, the prospective groom's family wasnt too happy and brought them to the authorities. She refused to marry nor renounce Christ... so she got sentenced, not really to death, but to lifetime prostitution. She was so sad she prayed to die. But when the soldiers tried to get here, she was immovable, even by the cart. They then tried to sentence her to death. Guess what, when she was on the stake, the fire couldnt burn... She finally got martyred only when a soldier used his sword to pierce her neck.
• In AD1597, there was a young man in Phillipines who got saved at 15. At the age of 16, he felt that God had led him to Japan to become a missionary. So he went, with his other friends. They shared the gospel and got caught by the police when they were 22 years old. They were cruxified on 22 crosses outside the city... And you know what? They never gave up preaching the gospel... they were still preaching and telling the people who were looking at them about God's love right at the time they were on the stake... until they gave up their last breath. Someone got saved then, and even told the soldiers to cruxify him as well. That probably formed that foundation for christianity in Japan.
• In 1685, in Scotland, a revival was happening amongst the young people. But soldiers were commanded to go around to the villages and pose to people the question "are you christian?" following which if they said they were, they'd be killed. Many of the young people fled to the hills and formed villages filled with young people. One of these people were Magaret Wilson and her sister. One year later they were told that the persecution was dwindling so they wanted to go down to see their businessman father. Unfortunately on the way down, they got caught and were handed over to the authorities. Their businessman father sold everything he had but could only redeem the younger daughter... so Magaret had to die. They pinned her to a stake at the beach at low tide, hoping that she would have the time to actually renounce her faith when high tide slowly came. She never did, although many of her fellow townspeople and her father were begging her to. She eventually drowned... slowly, as the water level began to rise.
• In 1914, there was a ship called "Empress of Ireland. That was 2 years after Titanic, and although people were fearful of ships, they never expected Empress of Ireland to sink cos they thought bad things dont happen twice in a row. Of course they were wrong... the ship eventually collided and it went down, in a mere 40min. Almost everyone on the ship couldnt survive unless they had a lifevest on them. Survivor accounts eventually gave witness to a group of young people from salvation army, who actually threw their life vest to other survivors on board. A 40 year old man recieved such a life vest as well, and at first he thought he was 40 and the girl who threw him the life vest was still young, so he threw the life vest back. The girl got angry, threw the life vest back at him and said "i know i'd die better than you". She eventually died, alongside the whole group of salvation army youths who were there.

Crazy stories huh. I almost wanted to go home after the 2-4 service. Glad i didnt, cos i would have missed such powerful stories. Thing is, they are not just fictional. They were real people in real events (pardon me if i got any names wronggg or something). They were youths some even younger than me. They probably had no maturity much higher than mine... but they did have a faith bigger than mine. Just that, their "suffering" was really to get martyred. Ours now, is to live our life to the max and reach out to the maximum number of souls as possible.

As an ending i'm going to make a really anti-climax statement... i shall whine no more. :)

Thinkin'

Wheee the end of the week is almost here again! :)


All the sky might just fall because Shujing has started to think! :)


- Note the word "started" though. Whether i wanna continue is a separate matter.


Anyways. Well i was talking someone last night, and that person got me quiteeee thinking. I realised i haven't confronted God in a really really crazily long time... or, put it more accurately, i haven't sought God to confront me in a long time. In this busy busy period unconsciously i have made decisions to progress in some things, to change some of my character, and made some important altar call decisions on the way... but i've also unconsciously forgot to let God confront me, relegating my QT to a really happy and relaxed time. "I-am-far-from-there-yet-but-at-least-I-am-on-the-right-track" kind of feeling. Now it feels almost delusional that all-is-well.


Maybe it's time to sweat during QT already... to meet up with God face to face and ask Him to dig up the issues that are buried further down near my heart. Honestly speaking i dont even know what they are... but i guess it's these things... the very subtle blind spots which others can't even tell but somewhere at the bottom of your heart you can feel it hovering and sometimes floating into your mind then disappearing after a swift moment, that ultimately matter.


Thank You Lord!

The guns and the germs.

I thought this Technology and World Change book was interesting cos it was filled was historical stuff and really cool stuffs.


But when i opened the book... it went to talk about evolution and stuff and all the dates are dated back to 11,000 years ago and i went "ohh....".


Although i'm inclined to think that the Genesis Chap 1 ought to be taken literally, i'm open to thinking otherwise so as such i still haven't made up my mind about whether it's a literal thing or not.


But that's hardly the crux of the question.


You know how evolution said that we originated from the lines of apes and chimpanzees into homo sapiens? And we lived in the stone age for quite a bit? In Genesis 4 Cain and Abel were already keeping flocks and working the soil. Dunno how all these add up together and not really sure how. Certain timings and events don't match.


But the underlying tension is that... science and faith don't seem to match now. Interestingly scientific enquires were sparked off by greek judeo-christianity. Personally i feel science and faith match pretty well... or i should put it this way: i view science as a subset of faith. I've been taught faith doesn't exist cos science doesn't prove it; instead, in proves it wrong. Now i know the reason why science can't prove faith is because scientific inquiries go as much as only the natural world - it can't prove what is the supernatural for the very fact that supernatural is supernatural. How can you ever prove the supernatural by natural methods as if you were testing natural conventions? Another reason is simply that science (as i have been taught in secondary school and generally what ppl tell me) refuses to be subjugated to the supernatural realm. It acts as if it is independent or superior to faith. But really, i think God created and owns science. He uses science to help us work out our lives but He's to subjected to science and can perform supernatural miracles notwithstanding the fact that many miracles can indeed be created through the use of science. Think of the manna, the sun going back a few steps...


But then again, i'm no investigator of these things. I just got only minimally acquainted with science and evolution. With my really limited knowledge i have written down these things really to air my thoughts.


Along the 3 years i've learnt to see and read God's work in this world that seems to work independent of Him.


Oh ya that reminded me of the other thing i was wondering about. I have my doubts about evolution, but i have no doubt that the human kind did progress from stone age into the new world and to our current progress (such that i have to study technology and world change). So i had this question: is God the one who determines how we progress and who progresses? Or is it just another one of mankind's exploits? My own formulated answer: I dunno, and perhaps it's unnecessary to know. The main reason for me living is to save other souls and fulfill God's commandments - although academic study can be a bonus to my occasional spurts of curiosity. But anyway back to my original question. Neutrally, the bible isn't a science book. Science is in the bible but isn't a major topic of it. So it's difficult to tell. But i know God has been active in catering to people of the different ages; i'm quite sure God as pleased with the old chorals as the current pop christian music, although the former might view the latter as disrespectful and the latter would view the former as religious. But in my own limited knowledge of the bible, i can't figure if God has been actively promoting technological improvements all the time, although He as always been a pioneer in many ways such as ark building (water technology took up a considerable part of the TWC book... and i'm proud to say, God invented the "boat"!) and the many rules and regulations regarding like diseases mildew and all. Actually if God really wanted us to have the knowledge of these kinds of things He could just tell us straightforwardly right? But perhaps it's in our search for science that we see God too.


Well i dunno. I roughly "hated" science as in my secondary school days. Never got to know what was science science until now really. Hee maybe interest in some subjects can really be stifled by the need to score well in school. Tsktsk. Cos in the end every thing is quite related so i can't say i hate "science" anyway.


But well ultimately after such a long session of babbling, science doesn't rock my boat. God does. =)