Borneo and its meaning

Whee I'm tempted to blog again although it's my time slot for studying econs now.

Ok quick updates first. School has been FUN. Really. I love the content of the modules this term... and to a certain extent the class participation bit cos it really makes everything more fun and interactive (though it can get a little stressful when you know your grades are counted...). Hee enough of school updates for now.

I love saturdays and sundays cos they are a holiday from the fighting and struggling and drag and stress of the weekdays. (Hee but bearing in mind that the holiday is just a respite and a preparation for the longer battle in the week ahead) But anyways haha we all need Sabbaths ok, it's biblical! =) So yes, i love saturdays and sundays and all the time i spend with my church friends and the time i spend with God worrying not about getting my degree but instead worrying of how i'm not or not growing enough in Him.

And... MY YM CELL HAD 14 PPL YESTERDAY FOR POST PARTY!!! (It was almost a full attendance just that we were missing Rachel and Christine and Sarah Swee) AND WE HAD TWO NEWCOMERS, JOYCE AND MELISSA! Haha. Yesyes cell, i'm really proud of you all. =) God will be happy too in all your efforts to bring His lost children back to Him again.

And... ooh about Borneo... Haha. Today we had a Missionary pastor from the interior. Cool huh. Guess what. He has 100+ in his house everyday la! And he picks up stray kids and really saves and feeds them (he showed us some photos, and they really look different!). Hee cool cool! =) So amazing how God is moving in his ministry and using his life for such a great purpose. ... Which lead me to think, hee am i walking in God's will for my life now right at this moment and am i availing myself to be used powerfully by Him? Hee maybe... or maybe not... but i shall try. =)

For now, i'm quite sure my calling is to be a good student (besides serving in YM and all la), so books, here I come!!! =)

(Haha. To some ppl, 'persecution' in modern day terms is studying. Heh. But really, even studying is a happy thing when done for the Lord. :) Praise the Lord!)

Commitment. =)

Ok let me remind myself again, i strive for full commitment to Christ. Everything is meaningless other than the things done for Christ. Don't go for the goals for Christ and in the process leave Christ out of the equation.

As for me, I will serve the Lord!

The Jitters...

This is one day before my uni lesson life officially starts.

And... i'm kinda scared.

After having laughed at everyone start school, i'm now currently trying to laugh at myself but it's not working!

My attempt to contact some fellow uni churchies is futile (oh ya i still don't have many of your msn addresses i realised, but ah well), cos they're watching the National Day Address now? Heh.

I think we should really look into forming a uni support group... And we could follow in the general style of Psalms... whine for majority of the session and cry on each others' shoulder as if the sky's going to fall down the day after, but at the end of each session still praise God for the blessing of placing us in our schools and remind each other that there is where our mission field lies for now.

Haha ok maybe not, i'm just being a little anxious right now about school.

So let's see... i shall check out my timetable now and then proceed on to do QT.

=)

Wheee!!!!

Thanks loads to my darling cell for celebrating my birthday!!! (And making me blow my birthday candles from far far away...) You guys rock my world. =)

Thanks loads to all the YMers too. It was a funny "kidnapping session" and hiding under the black cloth awaiting the announcement of our birthdays.

And my binge eating has offcially started yesterday during YM leader's retreat with the Ben & Jerry's ice cream and the steamboat.

Being the free me today, i went to watch Rush Hour 3 with Jayne, MeiYian, James, Kenneth, Sam (Kenneth's friend) and Alex. Exciting movie, although i think i would actually laugh more if you brought me to er, Rahtetooeee or something. Cute rat ok. And the new almighty show, the Noah's Ark one. Haha. I was obviously bored after 1/2 a day of Sims... Well. This is my rest-and-play week.

Oh ya and i've got to record this down... hmmm i was at camp from thur to sat right, so i didn't do QT on thur and fri night... other than listening to the song "take me away with You" while going to sleep i guess... it was just 2 days of somewhat being not-that-close to God... and when i went for YM service on Sat, the moment i started praying in tongues, it was OOOOSSSHHH... the feeling in my heart was so different as i sensed God's presence again. It's really like, better is one day in His courts than a thousand days elsewhere.

Haha talking about camp, i was complaining to Sarah Lin during the camp that i'm worried about my new mission field in school and stuffs (say hi to the new uni culture), and i was saying that church guys are much better than uni guys (at least church guys don't speak so much vulgarities). Hai.

See, my mind is traveling all over the place again. It's 1.10am now, interesting that i'm still up at this time, but i guess i should do this kind of late night thing now before school starts and i really need my beauty sleep. =)

Sequel to my birthday!

Haha it's a day after my first day of being 19.

As you all know, I've changed my computer so i've lost all my bookmarks. So, i revisited the blogs (and the links) just now. (haha, i was supposed to do QT in this time slot but my sis is still sleeping and we share the same room so YA...) Discovered a few new blogs which i never knew existed previously (now i do!), and realised that i'm somewhat linked somehow through some blogs (eeks.).

So to my dear shujing's-blog-readers out there, i am very-unpleased to announce that...

Shujing has single-handedly ruined her own birthday.

How, you might ask? I got angry at my parents.

About what, you might continue proding? At not allowing me to go buy doughnuts and having a cake instead.

Ok the real situation is probably much more complex than that, involving 18 years of, stuff.

So yes, Shujing spent the last 2 hours of her 19th birthday crying and getting angry at herself and calling herself stupid all over and over again. It was like, hey girl, "VERY WELL DONE", you've dishonoured your parents again even though you're parents are such blessings and you got childish again and are prevented them from hearing the gospel from you AGAIN.

Argh.

It's painful even reliving these memories from yesterday.

But well, i apologized to my dad yesterday before saying i needed to sleep and bursting into a sob in my bedroom. And stuck a piece of note on the bathroom cupboard thing in the morning apologizing and all.

So i've managed to get rid of a bit of my own guilt towards my stupid idoitic outburst of childishness yesterday night by apologizing.

Hai. Don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm going to cry again.

So, yes, this is the weak part of Shujing. Not the weakest though.

Are you ready to see more sides of Shujing? I guess i'll get exposed to more of my own weaknesses especially in this season of growing in God... cos i have been asking God to reveal my weaknesses to me so that i can work to strengthen them. Haha. So for all you shujing's-blog-readers out there, be prepared for more scoops from Shujing's life. =)

My birthday! =)

Haha thanks to all those who have made my 19th birthday a really blessed one... Nelson (who has been constantly reminding me that my birthday is nearing, haha), Vanessa, Coral, Mishuelle, Fang Xian, Winnie, Jayne, Kenneth, Meiyian, James, Xiuyu, Hui Koon, Alex, Bertrand, the whole Poh family including Pastor Mark, Aunty Aye Lan and Faithe, Christine, Avelene and Serene and my whole YM cell. =)

Oh special thanks to Winnie and Kenneth who went with me to Simpsons movie and refused to let me pay for anything. I really appreciate that. =) I mean, not the not paying part la, but the kind gesture. =)

And of course God. =)

It has been 19 years... 19 long years, kinda... many mistakes made, bad character built, disobedient times etc etc... but i guess the past no longer matters now. Time to look forward to a blessed future now. =)

Thanks again, everybody!

Random. =)

This is insanity... it's 1am already and i'm still awake.

Cos i've gotten my new Saviour of the World CD!!! From Sarah Lin. So i'm rather busy now previewing all my songs.

Oh wells. I'm going to sleep soon i think. Really can't take it. Eeks i wonder which organ of my body is working properly because i'm not sleeping and letting my body rejuvenate at the correct times.

Anyway. Yes, i'm going to get rid of my pride and my ego this season. It was put on hold for some time... seemed like i was still in my kiddish spiritual days that even if i didn't get rid of my pride, i would still have a whole lot of area to grow. But now, it's time for me to confront my pride. It seems to be a ceiling... if i breakthrough this, i'd probably grow in leaps and bounds.

So just a reminder Shujing, don't feed your pride anymore!

I think as the days go past, i don't dare to that confidently say that i love Jesus anymore... i mean, i do so many things to hurt Him and stuffs... but i still would say, God is so good to me.

Thank You Lord. You're the best. =)