A Baby Story: Part 1

Greyson is 10 weeks old today, and I am determined to do better about blogging in an attempt to remember all of those 'little things' that I don't think I'm ever going to forget, but then I do.  First up on the docket? Greyson's birth story.

So...throughout the course of my pregnancy with 'Bob' I was determined to let the wee babe come on his own timetable, without 'help' of being induced. When I was about 38 weeks it suddenly occurred to me how many of my friends (aka: my backup) were going out of town, and how I really would be in a tough spot if the baby decided to come when Nathan was gone.  Contrary to popular belief, some of the cities Nathan flies into do not have flights coming and going around the clock. Thus, if Nathan arrived in a city mid-afternoon and there wasn't a flight out until the next day, it might not work so well if I went into labor between said times. Then there was the issue about how sick I was. It was back to throwing up, constant fatigue, constant pain (my hips were doing something funky that did not feel awesome), the heartburn, as well as some other ailments that may or may not be socially acceptable to bring up in mixed company.  To sum it up, I was seriously miserable. And so I confess, when I went in on Monday to my almost-39-week appointment, I inquired about the possibility about being induced, and was given the green light. It was scheduled for Thursday June 27 at 7:00am.

Thursday came and the craziness began.  Nathan's family's big Hall-Clan reunion was starting that evening, and Nathan's parents were taking Tanner and Preston to it. They would have preferred to drive over either on Wednesday night or Thursday morning, but thanks to an insistent daughter in law, that didn't happen. I really, really wanted to boys to be able to come see us in the hospital with the new baby before they left town, so his parents agreed to wait until babe arrived to skip town. At 6:00am my phone rang, and it was a nurse at the hospital. Apparently multiple women had come in during the wee morning hours and were in labor, so they were wondering if I would mind coming in later that morning--they would call me when they were ready for me. I was thrilled with this arrangement, as I was a complete bundle of nerves, and welcomed the chance to have a more relaxed morning.  Around 10:00am the hospital called and told me to come on in, and we arrived there at 11.

Nobody seemed to be in a big hurry, and nothing really started happening until about 12:30.  Daniel had told me to request the numbing medicine before getting my IV, so I did, and it was glorious! A little while later Dr. Grabinski came in, chatted with us, and broke my water. They started me on a low dose of pitocin, then left us to ourselves for the next several hours--just coming in to increase my pitocin every so often. Sometime late in the afternoon I had them give me a dose of Fentynal which made me loopy and happy for a whopping 20 minutes. I was hoping to get my epidural during the time, but it didn't happen. It wasn't too terribly long afterwards that the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural though. I cannot say enough good things about this anesthesiologist--whose name was Noelle. I loved her. I didn't love the numbing shots, but I made it through. With Tanner I didn't even feel them, with Preston I felt them--but just barely. With these, I definitely felt them.  Anyway, the epidural went great, and from here on out my details might be off a little off.  Somewhere in this time they checked me and I was at a 6.  Nathan's brother (a doctor) called and asked how far I was dilated. When Nathan told him I was at a 6, he commented that it would probably be about 3-4 more hours before the baby was born. I said that it would be another 30 minutes. After I'd gotten the epidural, Nathan and I settled in and watched a few episodes of The Office. Unfortunately, I'd laid on my left side, which ended up causing all of the medicine in the epidural to drip from my right side to my left side...which meant that my right side was not numb....not at all. It was about this time that they checked me and it was about time to push. I announced that I was NOT having this baby until I had a working epidural. Noelle came right down and worked her magic, and in no time I was good to go. Slightly nauseous, but good to go.

My nurse asked if I'd like some Zofran, but I declined, since I doubted it would work at this stage of nausea (I'd lived off Zofran for the past 9 months, so I was pretty familiar with how my body reacted to it). She informed me that what I'd had was in pill form, NOT IV form. Intrigued, I said 'Sure!' and shortly therafter discovered that Zofran in an IV is nothing short of awesome. That is, until it's pushing time. Then it's a different story. All of us in the room took bets on how big baby was going to be--my doctor said that there was no way the baby was going to be more than 7 lbs 5 oz. I laughed and told her she was wrong. I was guessing at least 8lbs 5 oz.  **Warning: Gross Details to Follow. Skip to the next paragraph if you'd like to avoid them** Anyway, I started pushing, which, just like everything else in this pregnancy, made me want to toss the contents of my stomach. So I did. I went through more of those funky little blue hospital puke bags than I could count. At one point, my doctor laughed and said that my body pushed just as well when I was throwing up as when I was actually concentrating on pushing. She also announced that she was changing her guess--that this baby was not a mere 7-pounder. After pushing for 31 minutes (the most pushing I've ever had to do), Baby number 3/aka "Bob" came into this world, weighing 8 pounds 14 ounces.  I hadn't even pushed out the placenta and Nathan had already called his parents so that they could come down with the boys to see the baby.  I wanted to see the placenta, and when the doctor showed it to me, she commented that I had ONE AND A HALF placentas! How crazy is that? We're wondering if Greyson was originally a twin for the first week or so, and then ate/absorbed the twin. :-)

Dr. Grabinski with my one and a half placentas

The umbilical cord. Tanner was fascinated with the whole concept of the umbilical cord, so we got a picture for him.

The next little bit was absolutely crazy. Tanner and Preston came (with Grandma and Grandpa) and absolutely loved their baby brother. They did have a rough time adjusting to calling him 'Greyson,' instead of 'Bob.'   They were only at the hospital with us for about 15 minutes, then they were on the road to John Day.  Meanwhile, I was struggling to nurse baby, since the nurse insisted I was doing it wrong. Somewhere during all this, Greyson's blood sugar wasn't at the level it was supposed to be, and his breathing was not right either. Thus, Greyson was taken down to the Special Needs Nursery (aka the NICU).

The doctor/nurses thought it was funny how anxious we were to find out how much he weighed

Proud Big Brothers!

First family picture: Party of FIVE!

Coming soon....

A blog post (or ten!) with our summer adventures....aka, a lot of baby posts. This includes the whole birth story and what not. My brother has very much motivated me to finally get this done!

Adventure Awaits!

Nathan on the birthday saddle at Texas Roadhouse

 Me and my pregnant self around 35 weeks

 I did not feel the need to wash any of the baby clothes before Tanner or Preston was born.  With this one, however, I pretreated them all (they were all yellowed and smelled a little interesting, probably from being in the attic, and not being worn for so long), washed them several times, folded them all, and neatly put them away.

The changing table all set up and ready to use

It really hit me tonight that we are going to be adding another member to our family. Another personality. A new person.  I think the reason this struck me is because this is such a different phase of our lives than we were in with either of our other two boys.  You wouldn't think it would be so different, since people have babies everyday from all phases of life. And when you look at how old we are, it wouldn't seem like such a difference. But it is.

Tanner arrived in our family 10 months after we were married.  Like any parents of the first child, we were clueless. Not only about parenting (as is to be expected), but most certainly still on how to live with each other and get along.  We really had no idea about what roles we each played in our family dynamic, or about tangible things like tracking expenses/budgeting, or about what kinds of things really and truly made us happy.  I was so frustrated after Tanner was born that my life no longer meant anything in a worldly and scholarly sense, because it was consumed with being a full time caregiver, which was not my idea of happiness. Nathan was able to pursue his dream of being a pilot, while I felt like I had been demoted for the next 18 years.  I was so bitter towards Nathan, and we argued a lot.  Him getting hired on with SkyWest and us moving to Utah was so challenging on us in so many ways.

When Preston was born we moved here to Pasco within 3 weeks, and it was still a struggle just to survive.  Having two kids was obviously a new challenge, as was adjusting to a new place to live and Nathan now being gone for 4 days every week, as opposed to shorter trips on occasional weeks.

Since Preston was born 4 1/2 years ago, and especially since Tanner was born almost 7 years ago, things have changed more than I ever imagined.  For one thing, both boys are potty trained! I would be lying if I said Nathan and I never disagree. When you put two extremely stubborn (sometimes ornery) people together, you're bound to have clashes. :-)  But we have learned a lot! I know that Nathan loves having a nice yard, as well as creating that nice yard.  He likes to referee soccer.  I love couponing.  I have not gone back to school for graduate studies, but it's okay. Because what I would have gone and studied before, probably would have made me miserable. Maybe not, but most likely so.  Instead, I coach high school cross country.  It has added a dimension to my life that I can now see was so poignantly missing.  It is so rewarding, and the interaction I have with the other coaches always makes me laugh.

I wonder whose personality 'Bob' will resemble. Tanner is so much like me--and we clash sometimes because of it. But he is also so smart when it comes to math and navigation--much like Nathan.  Preston is a charmer, a natural salesman, or politician. As his parents, he drives us crazy with how sly he is at avoidable unfavorable tasks. To those who encounter him outside of home, he is positively delightful and irressistable.  All four of us are four very distinct people, yet we've had 4 1/2 years to focus on learning who each other was, and what makes the others happy, or what makes the others tick.  My boys absolutely know that their mom loves Richland High school, coupons, and running.  Preston knows that his brother loves the Magic School Bus.  Nathan is well aware that Tanner loves chess, Preston loves Cream of Wheat, and that his wife is lousy at getting the laundry done.  We all know the different airplanes that various airlines that fly in into Pasco use, and we all love horchata.  I feel like, for as much as the boys push each others buttons and for as much as Nathan and I do things just to get a reaction out of one another, we genuinely look out for one another in our little family, and have learned a lot about how to live together.  This time around we have somewhat of an idea how to be parents.  The kids are probably in for more than a shock than they realize, but really, what is boils down to is that we are starting on a new adventure. An adventure that we are actually more excited for than terrified. An adventure which I should probably consider packing my bag for. Because, as Nathan and I have both learned, I am a terrible last minute packer...no matter how grand of an adventure it is.

Marriage 101

April is always a funny month for me, because that is the month Nathan proposed. It is also the month that I said yes. These two events were not on the same day though, lest you think they were.  Anyway, for some reason (maybe because it's April....or because I am pregnant and constantly musing.....oh wait, I am constantly musing even when I'm not cooking a baby) I've had a few thoughts I've been wanting to jot down before I forget.

To anyone out there who remembers and/or loves Runaway Bride, you will recall that the reason relationships never worked out for Maggie is because she was more hung up on being someone she wasn't than she was learning who she was and what she actually wanted. True story here: I used so many clips from this movie back in one of my BYU-I psych classes, and always felt like I related to the main character (Maggie) so much. This is ironic because even though I realized it, it would take years before I realized the magnitude of this comparison, or what to do about it.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about where we--Nathan and I--are in our lives.  Partly because this pregnancy has to many similarities to my pregnancy with Tanner in terms of when baby is due, what I'm craving, etc.  With this one I am so excited for baby to get here--which I am sure I was with Tanner too, but more in an "I'm so excited because this is just going to be the most quaint little life, and we're going to be the cutest little family."

When Tanner arrived here we had been married for TEN months. That's it folks. Ten months. Most of those were spent figuring out how to live with each other. And me throwing up. And me being a stressed out wreck. And moving twice. Add a new baby to that, throw in some postpartum, and you've got one less than ideal situation.  I remember when Tanner was only 2 weeks old when Nathan worked ALL DAY at the Portland Air show, and Tanner was up for 15 hours straight because I'd drunk a Coke to try to get rid of a headache. I was exhausted, tired, and crushed by nighttime because it hit me that I would never be able to be myself again, and instead would be dedicating the next 18 years of my life to raising this tiny person. Never again would I be on a cross country team, or ballroom, or have time to myself. Basically I was now a parent, and as such, could not do anything else.  When Nathan got hired the next year with SkyWest and started living his dream, I was more bitter than you could imagine. He was living his dream--which was pretty darn luxurious if you asked me--while I was stuck at home all the time with a 1 year old who threw up or had diarhhea daily, had no friends, and I managed a 77-unit mobile home park.  I developed some nasty anxiety and sleeping problems, and for some reason, Nathan and I rarely ever got along.  We had not even been married for two years during all of this! There was some pretty serious going on in Nathan's family at the time as well, which made things interesting.

That was six years ago, but it feels like an eternity ago.  To those who don't know me very well, I probably don't seem too different. I still complain and have my opinions, and yes, it's true that I will be battling most of those anxiety and sleeping issues my whole life.  But behind closed doors life paints such a different picture.  Where there was once nothing but arguing and crying, we laugh together and at each other. We call each other names, and we do things to get a reaction out of the other person.  

BUT we also incorporate things that make us happy.  Nathan referees high school soccer games, and he loves it.  I coach high school cross country and track--a job that makes me happy and which I constantly wonder how I lucked out so much. 

Boating last summer with our neighbors. It was such a fun day, just tubing and cruising the Mighty Columbia 

Baby thoughts

I am 18 weeks pregnancy with Baby Number 3, and had it confirmed this month that once again, we will be seeing lots of blue, and not so much pink.  I have had so many different emotions since finding out--finding out the gender, finding our we're pregnant, finding out lots of things. And, before this moment in time passes, I wanted to write them down.

The people to whom we have told the gender of our baby seem to look at me for a reaction. Am I happy? Am I disappointed? Was I hoping for a girl?

With Tanner, getting pregnant a month after getting married was more than a little shocking, and some days I was pretty upset about it. When I found out that I wasn't getting my little girl, I was in mourning. For MONTHS.  When he finally came, I loved him dearly, but remained green with jealousy when I saw other women with tiny bundles of pink.

However, with Preston, I was pretty much neutral. A girl would have been fine, but I thought that a brother would be perfect for Tanner. So many people said, "Oh.....I'm sorry," when we told them we were having baby boy number two. Other simlilar reactions were, "Well....you're young. You can still have more," or, "I'm sorry to hear that. It must be a disappointment." It infuriated me to no end, since I  saw no reason to mourn over the addition of someone who had technically been a member of our family even before this earthly life began!

Years went by, and finally when Preston was almost 3 we decided we were ready for another baby. BUT, I decided I was getting my girl. I was determined, and I told the Lord and pleaded with Him for a baby girl.  For the first time though, we didn't get pregnant right away. Or soon after. Or months after.  After awhile, I altered my pleas for a baby girl, and simply prayed for a baby. Still, months went by, and it got to the point that we realized that we might have to come to grips with the reality that we weren't able to have anymore kids. Now, I realize that for those couples who tried for years on end unsucessfully to conceive a child, a mere 14 months is nothing. But for someone who had a two-month old baby on their ONE year anniversary, 14 months with no results is more than a little dis-heartening.  My mantra after about 8 months became, "The surest way to find oneself in the depths of depression is to take a pregnancy test." Yes, I was more than a little frustrated.

But then one day in November I woke up and started to get ready to go to the Cross Country state meet, where I had a group of high school runners competing. On a whim, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I don't know who was more surprised by the results--me or Nathan. It was such a happy day. My optimism did wane quite a bit when the sickness came though, but I was still grateful deep down for this miracle.

Now, I am aware that it is a blessing that I did not get pregnant before now. With track, then cross country summer training, and the cross country season, I could not have handled the sickness and all that. I feel the Lord's hand in this. I also feel that, if after 14 months of trying, and praying, and pleading, and fasting, that the Lord has heard our prayers. And, if I were to be angry at Him for sending me the 'wrong' gender, I would be incredibly ungrateful, and so very immature.  I love this baby.  I truly do. He is wanted, he has been waited for, and he is a part of our family--I can feel it.

Happy New Year!!

My favorite photo from our trip to SLC. Preston and Nathan walking back to the car near the Conference Center

I am normally not a big New Year's resolution maker, especially not to the point of writing them down. But.....I have the desire this year to set some goals. Not that I can't set goals other times of the the year, but perhaps the desire is caused by hormones (why has it taken me until my 3rd pregnancy to realize that I can blame everything on pregnancy? It's glorious!)  What I mean by that is, for the last 8 weeks I have been about as far from productive as I feel I've been in a very long time. I've had no energy, no motivation, lots of nausea, and, I kid you not, my mantra has been "I just don't care." Add to that the typical Tri-City winter weather, which is gray, cold, and extremely dreary, and it's a pretty good equation for feeling "blah." I always dread the days when it has gotten completely dark by 4:30 at night......less than an hour after Tanner arrives home from school!  

The nausea is still here, although it is calming down a bit. The weather is still dreary, and it still gets dark rather early--although it is not 4:30 in-the-afternoon-early.  Perhaps the most important factor that has changed is that suddenly it does bother me that my kitchen table hasn't been wiped off in days. It does bother me that I exercise so rarely lately.  I do have motivation to do things, and to not be a total hermit!

So, with that, I am taking this opportunity (and motivation to write a blog post) to jot down my 2013 Resolutions:

*Read the Book of Mormon this year, and make scripture reading a priority. I have completely fallen off this wagon. And, being in Primary playing the piano and often missing Relief Society activities due to Nathan's schedule, I think my spiritual intake is pretty much zilch. And, I know that I need to change that. I also know that it will be really tough at first, just as setting any new habit is. But, I also know that it will be worth it.

*Pick up running/exercising/etc again! I have a treadmill, I have a 4 year old who loves walks, I NEED to be out there. I crave it both mentallly and physically. I would like to be in shape enough to run throughout this pregnancy, and to run with my cross country kids this summer and fall, after the baby is born.

*Make a diligent effort to keep the house cleaner. This might require a cleaning schedule, which makes me shudder. I visited my cousin's house last month and was in awe of how clean and neat it was. Now, Nathan will tell you that being neat and tidy is not a talent of mine. Not there. Again, I am putting an emphasis on EFFORT, not perfection.

*Have more patience and love for my children. And Nathan. And others in general. Why is it so much easier to look for the negative than the positive? Is it because we let ourselves get that way? I don't know, but I think this boils down to prayer, and changing one's attitude. Wish me luck.

And with that, I will call it good. Another resolution/goal of mine is to do a 2012 digitally-designed scrapbook (like I did for 2009), and I am a whopping 2 pages into it. So, I think I'll try to go hammer away at it for a few minutes before calling it a night.

From the mouth of Preston

Tidbits from Preston lately:

[setting: dinnertime, where we are eating ham, fried potatoes, and green beans]

Preston: Mom, where does ham come from?
Me: (gulp) Um, well, from pigs
Preston: Well, how do the pigs make the ham?
Me: Hmm, well.....maybe you should ask Dad

[interjection: Dad is away on a trip, so I didn't feel TOO guilty saying that]

Preston: Well, next time I see some pigs, I am going to ask them how they make ham. Does that sound like a good idea?
Me: Yes....definitely.

[setting: in the kitchen]

Preston: Hey Mom, would you mind if I went potty right now?

[setting: Preston did not get his way, and is throwing a fit because I did not give into him]
Preston: Mom!! You.......are NO FUN!!!!