Let's see Hulk Hogan do that

Thank you, Image Comics for what may be the single greatest panel ever. A dude choking out a dinosaur-like monster with a sleeper hold. All in the name of awesome.

The Antiobiotic-Quest of the Unknown Macrolide

I am assuming that most scientists are also H. P. Lovecraft fans. How else do you explain pharmaceutical with names like Azithromycin, Dirithromycin, Erythromycin, Tulathromycin, among others? It's like reading off a list of the elder gods. On top of that, these antibiotics are all macrolides which itself sounds like a group of demonic ghoul dogs that serves Shub-Niggurath or something.

Beware the Azithromycin! Its chaos crawls with deoxy sugars!

Another thing, any time I think of Azathoth, I'm reminded of Isaac Azathoth, a villianous character from the RPG Macho Women with Guns which is self-described as deliciously tasteless*, entirely satirical RPG of blowing things to smithereens. Now in its second edition, it continues to appeal to our basest instincts by providing sex, violence, and vehicle statistics in one inexpensive package. I always thought it was a game created to make us geeks think that women would actually play an RPG.

Isaac Azathoth is described in the game as: A popular keynote speaker at the annual convention of Extradimensional Aliens Who Want To Eat Our Souls, "Dr. I" is prolific, witty, and a sneaky teleporting hell-fiend. Responsible for over 400 occult grimoires, and well-renowned throughout the seventh dimension for his off-the-cuff cocktail speeches and bawdy humor, he's the only living entity who's ever groped ZsaZsathoth for fun.

The fact that I find that tremendously funny makes me very happy (and surprised) that I am a married man.

Enough rambling, discuss.

Who are you calling judgemental you stupid quiz?

From Ricki.

Your result for The Brutally Honest Personality Test...

Crackpot - INTJ

47% Extraversion, 67% Intuition, 73% Thinking, 60% Judging

People hate you.

Paris Hilton hates Nicole Richie. Lex Luther hates Superman. Garfield hates Mondays.But none these even rates against the insurmountable hate, people have for you.

I mean, you're pretty damn clever and you know it. You love to flaunt your potential. Heard the word "arrogant" lately? How about "jerk?" Or perhaps they only say that behind your back.

That's right. I know I can say this cause you're not going to cry. You're not exactly the most emotional person. You'd rather spend time with your theoretical questions and abstract theories than with other people.

Ever been kissed? Ever even been on a date? Trust me, your inflated ego is a complete turnoff with the opposite sex and I am telling you, you're not that great with relationships as it is. You're never going to be a dude or chick magnet, purely because you're more concerned with yourself than others. Meh. They all hate you already anyway.

How about this- "stubborn?" Hrm? Heard that lately? All those facts which don't fit your theories must just be wrong, right? I mean, really, the vast amounts of time you spend with your head in the clouds...you're just plain strange.

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If you enjoyed that test, make sure you check out my latest venture: The Presidential Capacity Quiz - It's much shorter, just as fun and just as accurate. Find out how far you would get in the race for President. Are you fit to rule the free world?

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If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this.

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The other personality types are as follows...

Pushover - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging

Criminal - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving

Borefest - Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging

Almost Perfect - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

Freak - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Loser - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

Crackpot - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

Clown - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving

Sap - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging

Commander - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving

Do Gooder - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging

Scumbag - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

Busybody - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Prick - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

Dictator - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

Take The Brutally Honest Personality Test at HelloQuizzy

Snubbed

Mickey Rorke was snubbed at last night's Oscars. Kind of sad, especially since the award went to Sean Penn. It would have been nice to see them step out of their box and give it to someone who really earned it.

Otherwise, what I saw of the show was pretty good. Hugh Jackman was the best host in years.

Parting shot - was Slumdog Millionaire really that good?

Thoughts?

Something embarrassing Friday Pt. 2

As promised, embarrassing picture.

I thought for certain I had the Member's Only-style jacket too, but somehow the vest is even worse.

Again, relieve yourself of your embarrassment. It's therapeutic.

Update: I should probably explain that at the time I attended a private Christian school (hence the shirt, tie, etc.).

Gonna make up a blog post about Cor-a-liiiiiiiiiine

Finally got out to see Coraline with Daughter Number 1. It was fantastic. Perhaps a bit dark for younger kids, even DN1 at 9 thought it was pretty scary in places, but overall a great story of "be careful what you wish for you just might get it."

And here I speak less about the movie and more about 3D. Of course we went and saw the 3D version of the film and I think it's the best 3D movie I've seen yet. Animation, particularly this kind of stop-motion animation, seems to really shine in 3D. Rather than looking two-dimensional, 3D gives animation beyond the depth we read into regular film. When shooting real actors, it seems that we read faces and things with depth and curves but animation can really look flat. Good 3D gives us those curves and depth.

Now, I am not a 3D apologist. I am one of those people who used to get sick at 3D movies. Not long ago, we took the kids to see Spy Kids 3D and we all got horrible headaches during the film. I think J-Mom and Daughter Number 2 had to leave the theater because even the 3D artifacting made them sick. Well long gone are those days. The new digital 3D pioneered by Disney and Dolby is fantastic. The glasses don't give you headaches and don't alter the color of the movie. Also, the quality of 3D is much better than those in years past.

The first movie that sold the new 3D format to me was Disney's Bolt. While that movie showed how good 3D could be and how well integrated it is with animation, Coraline goes a step further and shows just how spectacular the format can be.

I still cannot think of how 3D can be applied to live-action film without seeming gimmicky. My wife and kids went and saw the Hannah Montana 3D concert movie and said the only real 3D moments they noticed were a guitar pick being thrown or a drummer pointing his drum stick out to the audience. I know it's coming, but I'm not sure it's going to be good. In the meantime, I'm on the lookout for the opening of Monsters vs. Aliens which looks like it's going to be another amazing 3D animation flick.

Something embarrassing Friday

Because I feel like revealing something embarrassing today (hoping it will take my mind off the other crap going on today), I’d like to talk about the mid-80s, Members Only-style jackets and sunglasses.

When I was in seventh grade – 1987-ish – Members Only jackets were still in, not quite as big as they were, but still all over the place. I was no slave to fashion in my youth, but there were some things I really wanted. This style jacket was one. I didn’t care about brand name though. I finally got one. It was lightweight and gray, a cheap knockoff of the light leather jackets seen everywhere at the time. I loved the hell out of that thing though. I wore it like every freaking day. With the sleeves pushed up to my elbows. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but I sure felt good about it so what the hey?

Now, so you get a complete picture here, take a socially inept, chubby 12-year-old with moderate acne and bad hair. Throw this jacket on him and you have me, although the picture is not quite complete. I also wore glasses.

Most of my youth was spent wearing the standard kid glasses – big frames that could withstand the pressures of being a young boy. However this year was a tad different. When I went in to get my annual eye exam and prescription filled, I decided I wanted to get a darker shade put on my glasses. I had up until this point put a light gray shade on them that was barely noticeable. Heck, my parents were having to pay for these (though at the cool, discounted military rates) so their should be some noticeable shade if they’re having to fork out the bucks, right? I pointed to the second- or third-to-the-last darkest gray shade when they asked if I wanted them to put a tint on the glasses. I distinctly remember the guy at the eye glasses shop warning me, “Are you sure?” he said. “The tint is actually going to come out a bit darker than it looks here.” I couldn’t be dissuaded. “Billy, are you sure,” my mom asked me (the fact that I grew up as a Billy is exactly why I am now Cullen). I was sure. Rock solid certainty.

What a naïve dork I was. The glasses came out as dark as a pair of Ray Bans.

Add to the picture mentioned above these glasses. Then add to this the fact that I refused to take that jacket off for class pictures that year. If I can find a photo I promise I’ll post it.

Tell me something embarrassing. It’s good for the soul.

A > B, but X < Y by explanation

Mr. Bungle > RHCP

Proof:



This is a fan video of the song Pink Cigarette from Mr. Bungle's album California and it is full of win.

I need to post something so I'll pull something from Facebook

We can't make up our minds if we're industrial or techno! Whatever.

How to Play:

1. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random - The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. Click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 - The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. Visit http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ - The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result. And then ask someone else to play.

5. Give props to the person whose photo you used by linking to the flickr page you got the photo from, please.

I totally ganked this photo without getting the guy's name. Sorry unknown person.

Filibuster

Show some damn backbone.

A meme started by Ken.

A > B, but X < Y

UPDATE: I don't mean to say that you have to weigh in on these topics (though you are certainly welcome to do so). Choose your own. Just take a side.

I tagged some of you with this on Facebook, but it seemed to be fun enough to post here as well.

Here's my charge - take a side. Weigh in on five different topics pick one as greater or less than another. Offer an explanation. Or don't. I'll get things rolling:

Mike Patton > Anthony Kiedis
Kind of self-explanatory I guess. There was quite the dust-up between the Peppers and Faith No More/Mr. Bungle. Patton is by far the superior singer. Just proves further that talent doesn't equal popularity.

Creamy > Crunchy
I want peanut butter, not some peanut butter and peanuts.

British Office < American Office
Personal opinion and quite a controversial one, but there it is.

Tune-o-matic > Vibrato/Tremolo
They just are.

Angry postal workers < Angry Samoans
Though they're probably more dangerous

Have fun.

Inkhuh

I took Daughter Number 1 to see Inkheart this past Saturday. I didn't knoww a lot about the story going into it (DN1 has read the first book and most of Inkspell - she's stalled in that though, don't know why, but she put it down to read the Maximum Ride series). DN1 had told me some things, I had some very basic ideas, but didn't know where things would be going and that's generally how I like to be going into a movie. For this one, though, I wish I would have read the book first. There just seemed to be a lot going on that would have been more understandable if I'd read the book.

The movie is relatively well self-contained, but it's clumsy. You don't get a feel for the characters before the story starts dashing them off to danger and then you're introduced to so many different characters and situations that you're left feeling a bit left behind. I understand that this is an action flick and one geared toward a younger audience, but even Harry Potter spent sufficient time setting up character motivation. Inkheart doesn't. I've just started reading the book and am already beginning to understand some of the characters better than I did after seeing the film.

However, this is not to say that Inkheart isn't fun. It is, perhaps too fun or too dashing, while sacrificing some coherency. I read a couple of reviews after seeing the movie and many reviewers are quick to put most of the blame on Brendan Fraser. I don't see that. I am a Fraser fan - yeah, the guy doesn't have great acting chops, but he's fun - and he fits the role pretty well. The problem is that the changes the filmmakers made to the book were unnecessary but the things they cut out were very important to the makeup of the tale.

While Inkheart can be entertaining, I suggest waiting until it hits the discount theater or video. The good thing about seeing it in the theater is that there's a extended preview for the wonderful-looking Coraline.

Sharp dressed man

It's something I've been putting off for a long time. Yesterday we went out and I bought a couple of suits.

I'm beginning to interact with higher level people in my organization and I've got to start dressing the part. I also have a conference coming up in April and can't dress in my usual polo shirt and slacks, so I've had to upgrade the wardrobe. It was kind of shocking how much money it all came to, but I have to keep telling myself that I was starting with nothing.

While it was pricey, it was still a good deal. The store I went to was having Buy One-Get One sales on suits, shirts, shoes and other items. So I got two suits, two shirts and two pair of shoes all BOGO and some ties that weren't. I can't even tell you the last time I wore a tie. I was still active-duty Army though.

It's the price of moving up in an organization though.

What's in a name

At my last job, before I moved to Memphis, there was an officer there named Nimrod. I'm not kidding. Just like the Biblical spelling and the modern-day euphemism.

And rather than going by his middle name or a nick name or, hell, even getting his name changed (I believe he has ample grounds) he was proud of the name. In fact, when he told me his name and I kind of looked at him for a moment, he shot back with a calm, practiced defense, "Nimrod was a great king in the Bible. Sometimes people don't think about those kinds of things."

Well, buddy, I'm sorry, but the name Nimrod might as well be mud in present-day American culture. I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact that Nimrod is generally tied to the construction of the Tower of Babel and most preachers would point out that this act, while good-intentioned, was dumb. This is the officer's legacy.

But he was proud. Growing up with a name like that, I suppose there are really only two options (providing that you go by that name), 1) Sink or 2) Swim. This particular officer was forced to fight for the pride of his name. Maybe that contributed to his success -- he was a high-ranking officer. Even though he chose to be selective in how he thought about or mentioned his namesake's heritage, he was proud of it.

That's why when I hear about people naming their kids Apple or Moongate or Ratchet or Algebra, I may shake my head, but I've got evidence that it can still turn out pretty well.

Seat belt fire?

Toyota is recalling more than 1 million vehicles including more than 130,000 Yaris vehicles from model years 2006 and 2007.

The reason? The seat belts might cause a fire during an accident.

Maybe they shouldn't have offered the kerosene option.

What the hell good is a snow day

When you wake up and go to work as normal?

We had a snow storm early this morning in Millington/Memphis. But, the base still stayed open. I drove to work in the worst of the weather. The snow was quite heavy, like driving in dense fog, and the roads were slick. My Durango slipped at every turn. At one four-way stop, the tires spun, trying to gain traction. I had to take my foot off the pedal and start out again much more slowly.

This is exactly the conditions that our leadership doesn't want its workforce driving in. However, we weren't sent home until an hour after I got to work and the snow had stopped. Sure the roads have become real icy as the temp has dropped even through the snow stopped this morning, but they're much more clear than they were at 5:45 a.m.

It's annoying to show up to work on time only to get sent home before you can even do any work. Guess that's what happens when the bosses sleep in.

The best online comic

And easily one of the best comics ever is The Adventures of Dr. McNinja. You don't necessarily have to be a fan of comics to enjoy it either; just a fan of awesome.

If you think a comic about a ninja who is a doctor who has a gorilla receptionist and has sidekick who is 12 who grew a handlebar mustache through sheer force of will and rides a velociraptor, then this is for you.

If this is not for you, you might need to seek professional help. :)

To: Cullen; From: Your Sense of Personal Responsibility and Motivation

Dear Cullen,
We work really hard to make you suck less.

We're not very good.

Sorry.

Finally, The Wrestler

The Wrestler finally opened in Memphis. Like Keith Demko at Reel Fanatic mentioned, I’m rather surprised that the movie took so long to make it to this area. He’s out of Macon/Atlanta. Both Memphis and Atlanta are huge wrestling markets. Atlanta is home to TNA wrestling (the only real challenger to WWE) and Memphis is a developmental area for wrestlers and we have a local wrestling show. Seems like great markets for this movie. I’ll comment more on this later as well as the setting in which I saw the film.

The Movie

As far as the movie’s particulars, there’s not too much to say. Mickey Rourke plays a washed-up wrestler. I don’t think you really need to know much more than that. In fact, I afraid to say too much more because while the film covers a lot of emotional ground, it doesn’t do many things, so, instead of talking about what goes on in the movie, I’d rather talk about my impressions and what I left the film with.

I’m a wrestling fan. When I was a kid my friends and I used to fake wrestle. We made our own championship belts. We made fake rings on friends’ trampolines or just rolled around in the yard. But even at the younger ages when I first started watching, it was pretty evident that it was scripted. The suspension of disbelief doesn’t last long. When you realize that a person just can’t get beat up like they do every week – actually sometimes 6 or 7 days a week – you realize that it’s all a show. But it’s an entertaining one. Given this, I fully expected to like the movie. And I did. There are some powerful performances here. Hearing what some wrestlers and some people in the industry have said about it, I was expecting something that railed against the wrestling industry a bit more, but it wasn’t really like that at all. It just paints the portrait of a washed-up athlete. There are actually plenty of sports industries where older athletes find themselves in the same place that Rourke’s Randy “The Ram” Robinson finds himself in this film.

There was a time when I felt that wrestlers were like rock stars. I thought they wined and dined and lived the high life. Rick Flair had a lot to do with this opinion. I’m sure some of them actually do get to live like this, and it’s probably better today than it was in the ‘80s. But there came a point in time that I realized that a lot of these guys wound up in trailer parks or were living paycheck to paycheck just like a good many blue-collar workers in this country. Sometime in the early ‘90s, I read a magazine article about James “Buster” Douglas who had started an organization to help boxers manage their finances and provide them with all kinds of counseling about medical coverage and the like. It really drove home the point that a lot of these guys who get into these sports may at some time live the high life, but a great many of them don’t end up there.

That’s where we find The Ram – on a rapidly accelerating downhill slope from the top of his career. He’s playing the small indie circuit, getting paid cuts from the door and showing up for autograph signings at American Legion halls. One of the places this films greatly succeeds – aside from the stellar performances from Rourke and Marisa Tomei – are the moments behind the scenes between all the wrestlers. It’s intimate. I know it was for film and it was staged – but then again, that’s what these guys do all the time, stage their shows. So this intimacy came off documentary real. It’s not quite the same feeling you’d get sitting in the same room with these guys, I mean, you become a part of that dynamic then, too, but it was like watching these guys from behind a two-way mirror. It was visceral and almost voyeuristic – almost uncomfortably so. And if you’re more than just a casual wrestling viewer, you’ll recognize many of the faces as the director hired a lot of underground and low-card wrestlers to play these back-stage wrestlers.

One big thing this movie isn’t is a redemption tale. I think American movie goers get caught up in that concept. We like the ideas of vengeance and justice and redemption even though the first two aren’t always realistic. Yet, we continue to look forward to those things in all our entertainment. Many of the films that “phone it in” or “take the easy way out” simply play those aspects with little other plot. This movie isn’t any of those things. The Wrestler is kind of like a Greek tragedy where the protagonist is the guy who finally listens to fate. He accepts his destiny and finally, simply revels in it.

It doesn’t leave you feeling good, but it leaves you feeling.

The setting

I saw this movie at Memphis’ only indie movie theater. It’s the only place in town carrying it. It was my first time going here and I rather liked it, to be honest. It’s a small five-screen theater, but the seating, screen and sound were modern and rather good. The cinema is distinct in this area in that it also has a café and serves food prepared on site rather than simple nachos or hot dogs.

I went to the 1:40 showing today (Sunday), it was the first showing of the day. I didn’t expect to have to fight for parking or fight crowds, but I admit it was a pleasant surprise. When I got into the theater, it was packed. I found a seat, but wound up scooting over so a couple could sit next to me. That was a mistake. The lady sitting next to me had bathed in her cheap, smelly perfume. This became a problem as the movie progressed. The film was shot with a lot of hand-held cameras, so there were some shaky sequences. This visual jumpiness coupled with this chick’s odor made me nauseous about halfway through the movie. I powered through and did my best to ignore it, but it just served to remind me why I hate going to see movies in the theater. It’s an environment where I have little control. I can still feel the full-body nausea in the back of my neck. But even after that, it was worth it.

Go see it.

Cool tools

A while ago, the cool-new-thing was Stanley's Fubar.

Now Gerber comes out with something that I could actually justify owning: the KICK Axe. Means I'd have to start camping again, but I might be able to make that sacrifice.