Just Like Tides

When i gaze upon the skies and the creatures that soar above land, when i look at the seas (or the reservoir when i take the train from Khatib to YCK), when i look at my friends or even the people whom i've yet to come to know, i marvel at God's love. For because of love, He created us and every single detail about us i'd bet He knows. I would love to just take time off to soak in the works of His marvelous hands, and tell Him how much i appreciate the twilight and the stars and coolness and calmness that comes with it. I've always been in awe of how everyone is connected under the same blue sky. I've been amazed at His creations after reading Genesis 1. :) And well, i've also been wanting to blog about what i've learnt recently so that i could impart them to the people who reads my blog, however, have not gotten down to really doing so (as you can see). I shall not be getting out too often this week, beginning to love the quiet time spent doing reflections with Jesus. I will definitely blog more, everyday He teaches me new things! Oh, and yes, this verse given by Philip (which i have up on my MSN name) has been so much in sync with my life- as well as my sister's. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." My sister Davina bought an organiser from Mount Zion just yesterday, and that was the exact verse which was written on the cover page. Jeremiah 29:11, and i thought it was very apt for her as she starts a new phase in her life to entering poly. I want to help her see the purpose of God in putting her there, there is always a purpose, for if not, we wouldn't be here. Last night was really interesting. I had conversations with different people who helped me to realize what shame and trusting in the Lord is. I had never felt shame that way before. I will blog about it soon. I'd like to thank Katherine and Gabriel for the conversation we had last night. Also, Fuji, Barry, Philip, Gloria and Mark for growing with me and encouraging me in getting my relationship with God in focus. They are the people who have been journeying with me on this spiritual walk and the very people God used to shape me along the way, praise be to God! Alright just before i get going, i'd like to make an announcement! I've decided to post my online journals in a new.. erm, what'd you call that, online outlet? Maybe wordpress, maybe livejournal, i don't know yet! Sorry blogger, but i've gotta move on. It's been wonderful blogging in you for 8 years... So much memories that i've gotta let go of. It is my hope that i encourage people with what God has revealed to me and more. Personal happenings would still be written only in my real diary. Haha, so, til then... God bless! Tata! :D

Blogged @ 12:39 PM

2 cor 5:9.

"therefore we make it our aim... to be well-pleasing to him."

i've been spending quite a fair bit of my time giving thoughts to things that i want to prepare myself with (like qualities that i wish to possess for my future partner, bad habits that i want to get rid of, mostly noble things for the good of my own future. i will be quite honest here. i miss the point if i miss the point, no matter how noble are the things that i do. my main ambition should be and is to be well-pleasing to jesus. sometimes i get so caught up in wanting to bring people to christ or be a godly person that i miss the master ambition.

doing quiet time with my siblings has blessed me so much more than i have and can imagine. firstly, there is of course the bonding. everything was going pretty smoothly until today, when my sister looked kinda tired and distracted and my brother was just not taking quiet time too seriously. it honestly felt like i should just stop doing qt altogether and i was pretty much on the verge of giving a scolding but chose to hold back instead. i have a very bad temper and am an impatient person by nature.

i know my sister davina gets really upset with my directness and attitude sometimes but never opens her mouth to say it. i'll have to read it off her body language. i thank god for an understanding sister, don't need to ask for more. :) so after we did today's devotion together i asked for her to pray for my temper. it's good for both her and i.

we've been on the topic of repentence together and it's really wonderful to help each other to refocus our lives back to jesus. i am very glad when my brother prayed for us to do qt like this every night. :)

anyway, i'm blogging from my blackberry (bb) now and it seems like i can't use the caps lock function.. therefore i can't use any capital letters in this post at all. haha how strange.. but blogging through the phone isn't actually sucha bad idea. it's a different feeling from blogging using the laptop.

ok and i have to get to bed now. glo and philip have been away for about 4 days now. am praying for them and the others who went along too. i can't wait to meet uncle fugi again! :) will be seeing glo and phil soooon!

Blogged @ 4:10 AM

"Teach me how to pray for myself. Enough of the self-centred prayer."

Quoted from Barry Soo on facebook.

Exactly what I've been wondering about recently. How?

Blogged @ 2:26 AM

I'm supposed to get up at 9.30a.m tomorrow. haha, well... i have a feeling that i might not be able to make it. I haven't been having the motivation to get up in the mornings recently. And i dislike this attitude of mine. Horrible. I love mornings. and i love the night.

Because the morning and the night is the time when i can start my day and end my day with God... it makes me feel complete. To wake up to a day knowing that God is in full control of my life- and to end it by sharing with Him the things that i have learnt, the actions that i have did that i am proud of or ashamed of.

Haha, i don't know when i sound too full of myself sometimes. I am not a self-less girl. I care about my own feelings. When i am angry i think of ways to rebuke the party who made me angry. When i am sad i think that nobody would understand me. Some of you prolly don't really know this side of me, some of you would know.

But I thank God because no matter what my feelings are, as long as i entrust them to God, i know that He will empower me to take control of it as i choose to put Him as the main focus. Only God can transform my heart of anger into a heart of love.

Only when i look to Jesus Christ can i genuinely serve my fellow brothers and sisters. For being a leader for God is not to become a superior, but to become a "doormat"...

Matthew 20:28 (NKJV)
"just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

And i've realised that i drain myself out very easily when i try to lead at camps because i'm focusing too much on myself and people.

Adapted from Utmost for His Highest:
"The mainspring of Paul's service is not love for men, but love for Jesus Christ. If we are devoted to the cause of humanity, we shall soon be crushed and broken-hearted, for we shall often meet with more ingratitude from men than we would from a dog; but if our motive is love to God, no ingratitude can hinder us from serving our fellow men."

I shall not consider myself complete until i've met Jesus with my whole heart.

A very quick post here tonight, sorry if there are any typo errors or disorganized sentences. Or lack of depth in analysis. Haha! Goodnight/morning everyone.

I'm almost done with school.

26th Feb- Sales Management paper
28th Feb- International Business paper
3rd March- Brand and Marketing Management paper

Blogged @ 4:25 AM

I've just realised that i do like to use the color red when i'm jounalling in my book. Haha, although most of the journal entries are written in black... i actually felt good writing in red today. Not sure why i have this feeling, isn't it strange?

Haha, i think i'm strange sometimes. But you know what, I LIKE IT! haha!

Yeah this is a really random post. Hmm. Oh well, guess it depends on my mood when i'm writing into the journal. Today just felt.. really inspiring. So red was the color to use. Thank God for colors, they help to express ourselves.

Alrighty, adious! To those who are studying for exams, gogogo! And to those who are already done with school, do something useful! Haha!

No but really.

Will be praying for people who are studying for exams. Remember, studies isn't the most important in life. It's your attitude. Study with the right attitude and for the right reason! Ok end of nagging, Ciaos!

Blogged @ 3:14 PM

Sometimes, an opportunity doesn't come around twice.

When opportunity comes knocking at your door, you either take it or there shall be no regrets. We should at all times be anticipating an opportunity, and make sure that we're equipped with a hungry spirit and a good attitude or in other words, to be prepared.

I was in the bus today, on the way to Changi Airport. It was a wonderful bus ride, the scenery was totally beautiful, and i could even say that it was breathtaking. I looked at the greens and the oranges and reds, with the baby blue and white backdrop, i just had to praise God for His wonderful creations. I couldn't even open my eyes properly against the bright sun light. I wonder how it would be like when God's light shines. It is far greater than the sun light.

Unimaginable.

Then i was thinking about Heaven. Would Heaven be like this? With beautiful trees and flowers? Would i be able to fly? What kind of mansion would i be living in?

Then i was thinking, i want to do works in this world that guarantees me a nice mansion in Heaven. But as i wandered on... i realised that it was a really selfish thought.

I do want a nice mansion in Heaven.

But in this life, i feel that i wouldn't be complete if Jesus isn't my personal best friend. I want to do His works because I know that it would make Him happy.

I believe that He would bless me too, when i do what He wants. Some times, we have to open up our hearts to receive the real blessings that He gives us. We can't see the blessings that God wants us to see if our hearts are closed up.

Blogged @ 12:06 AM

I find myself coming back to the familiar question of

"What am I doing in my life?" again.

So many, many things happened over the past few days. Sadly, I haven't been jotting them down. But first and foremost, I'd like to thank God for the completion of my crazy period of projects, presentations and tests, and even other CCA activities and so on. And again, it is not I who managed to pass through this crazy period but Him who reminded me time and again to have the attitude of Christ.

I don't know if I have passed His standards while in the midst of the busyness. But if you were to let me be very honest, I would think that it is a no.

However, it doesn't matter very much what I think. Because the reality isn't about how high God's standard is that it is impossible that I achieve it, but the reality is about the redemption that brought about the atonement.

If you were to ask me how I'm feeling now, I would say...

Incomplete.

Somehow, there isn't anyone that I can talk to. This is between God and I.

I was looking at this drawing stuck on one of the walls of my bedroom. It was a drawing from my sister a few years back. In the drawing, there are many many people, and they formed a queue. What are they queueing for? At the extreme right of the drawing there is a huge golden door and this girl was next in line, and she is waiting to enter it. An angel flew above the peoples, and there were musical notes following behind the angel. Right beside the angel is a huge rainbow and the words that settled on top of the rainbow are "God's Promise..."
There are clouds and a cross with wings and then more words that said "Kingdom OF Heaven". Finally, right below where the people are standing are these words that she wrote:

"I don't mind waiting a MILLION days,
walking a MILLION miles,
go through hardship a MILLION times...

Just to see His face..."

Looking at the drawing makes me feel sad.

Blogged @ 12:31 AM