Just Like Tides

Have i mentioned how i love waking up to cool morning temperatures that says "it rained overnight while you're curled up safe and soundly in bed"? The only disadvantage to that is that you won't wanna get out of bed. Hahahaha, but who cares about that when you have no school for the day!

When i walked into the kitchen the cool air hit my face. Looked outta the kitchen window. So much movement. Birds. Clouds. Swaying green trees and water ripplies on the roads and two butterflies flirtatiously crossing each other's paths in twirls. Moving cars and people walking on the pathways. I wonder if the butterflies and the trees and the people are happy?

Breathing that kind of moving air in just gets a load off your shoulder instantly. The more you breathe, the better you feel...

And i decided that i loved this feeling so much that i'm blogging in the kitchen now! Heheheheh

To end this off, i would like to dedicate this blog post to God my Father in Heaven. Who gave me the greatest present i can ever receive. Everyone and everything that i have. :)

Oh! And i caught "She's Outta My League" on Tuesday this week. It was alright! A typical chic flick with quite an epic lame ending! "When In Rome" was a lot better :P

Blogged @ 11:40 AM

Funny thing is, i'm seeing history repeat itself...

Funny thing is, i only knew how i was when i see how it is with others in the history that repeats itself.

Hahaha... well... perhaps i'm still pretty much soft inside. Being soft might make one seem more vulnerable to getting hurt. But... i guess, getting hurt and being more vulnerable does not mean that you are a weaker person compared to someone who doesn't get hurt at all. How strong you are is seen in how you overcome the hurt and the pain...

It has proved itself to be true, where they say, "friends come and go", but... "go" does not mean that you would stop being friends. I believe that different friends are there to sail through the different difficult times together with you... there is never really a goodbye, but close friends seem to be changing throughout life. Even when you don't really want to "lose" them.

And i have been keeping so much of what i'm feeling inside of myself... and sometimes, i feel like i'm being neglected, or that i have neglected. But it ain't so much about me, this life. I think if we put the focus on ourselves, that's where we start going wrong.

But keeping feelings inside myself miiiiight not be the best thing to do, hahaha. Every action i take results in a different circumstance. Every action i take gives a different consequence.

Just yesterday i felt that i could not trust in any man (humans). Because men can fail you. I was disappointed with somethings...

Has anyone ever said "i promise that i will be there for you all the time"? Where are they now?

That makes man sound so negative. But when we talk about "i will be there for you all the time", really, we are talking about men's standard of "all the time". It is not reasonable for someone to say "but you promised that you would be there for me 24/7", when it is very obvious that it is not possible in the flesh.

After talking to Shiwei, i realised that my problems were so insignificant as compared to baby omara's. He helped to open me up to a bigger picture, unknowingly. hahahahaha. But it was good! We did not even talk about how i was feeling down. He just told me about the problems in Africa, and about how "baby omara is dying so that baby george can wear organic".

I thank God for him at that point in time when i was feeling low. =)

I have to admit, i discovered that i am still quite selfish, in certain ways... and i'm reminded that, what i love... i have to let go. I was angry. And i was confused in men...

Hahahaa, you know they always tell me "Dorcas you look so carefree!" Yes i am, but you know... i dooooooo have my struggles too, as seen in the now! Haha! I think being carefree is a choice, really.

Well i guess this blog might get a lil more personal if i were to share more of my feelings like this... well, we'll see!

HAVE A GUDDAY! :D Gonna catch a movie later! hahahahaha. Toy Story 3 was fun! :)

Blogged @ 5:57 PM

I am afraid.

There is no one there to talk to...

God, would you send someone?

Blogged @ 10:47 PM

I went for a night walk out with my siblings today, and it was great.

I looked up into the sky tonight and saw many stars. I guess i dream of going overseas (because Singapore is a lil too brightly lit) for star gazing... It's like a far away dream... I heard that there's no night time in Heaven, but i mean, that's not the point. I just dream of staring into the night sky. Getting lost in the countless amount of stars, each of them having a name that God knows of.

I would lie on the grass. Or on a cardboard if the floor is dirty, and i would gaze and tear. Such marvelous creation... such intriguing wonder... magnificently beautiful... and best of all, star gazing is free *true blue Singaporean here*. :D

Surely i would get lost in space. And as i lay beside the one i love... someone who would constantly thank God for me... i would pray for a shooting star. But God blesses us in abundance so He would give us a meteor shower, amen. Stars raining down in the sky... more romantic than any romantic chic flick you've watched in the cinemas. More romantic than Romeo and Juliet because nobody actually dies (okay random).

No i did not draw this picture. It's Alex (see bottom right of drawing). Then then then, i would see my dreams float up... little balls of dimly litted up dreams. Shimmering... and falling to a glimmer. Some would stay tho, and dance around me. This reminds me of some scene from Final Fantasy. Hmm. Anyway, i would cup some dreams in my hands. Their shimmers reminding me of the ocean waters when the sun or moon light hits. I like sharing my dreams with someone that i would love. It feels warm and nothing else would really matter. I put my dreams into a nice long container. Now it resembles a lava lamp. I never had a clue that i have had this many dreams before in my life.

I would become a little girl again. Who loves peace and justice. Who isn't afraid of anything except for her mother and father. And... maybe the dark. But it wasn't dark you see, it was brighly litted up with dreams and twinkling stars.

The naive little girl would start counting the stars in the night sky... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10... wait have i counted that one already? Nevermind. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7...

Is that a ship i see? A ship sailing in the sky? Someone's throwing a net out... it looks like he's fishing for stars. Take me with you. Me and my loved one. And we'll sail away together... just for... tonight. No one would have noticed that we were gone.

Blogged @ 1:38 AM