Just Like Tides

I've been losing my interest in a lot of things lately. I feel like i've been sucked dry. But i'll still stand by one thing:

I won't give up and i will continue to press on with God.

You can laugh all you want. Or you can come with me. :)

But it's only in Him that i have found what i need. It's only when i pray to Him that i find comfort. Honestly, i havn't really been seeking God as much as before. But this is a confession of mine to start afresh, once again, and fall into His arms. You are my witness. His arms are the only place where i can fully take off the mask and show my true self. It's in His presence that i'm not afraid to cry in.

Let me not lose hope, God, hold my hands and walk with me, I pray in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Blogged @ 9:27 PM

I've been having a lot of weird ups and downs lately. It's time to show 'em who's boss and keep them under control! Sigh, but it gets hard sometimes. And really, i'm TIRED of keep having to explain over and over again when people ask me "what's wrong?" I'm just tired of mood swings!

So much to the extent that i would just brush them aside and everything would seem fine again, for that moment.

I don't want to try so hard to be the "perfect" person that i strived to be anymore, because i think that even a lifetime wouldn't be enough for you to acheive the level of "perfecto". And that is why... today, i surrendered myself again to a higher power.

Here's my heart, You can have it. Take it and renew it. Then give it back to me!

I find myself not being interested in many things anymore... sigh... it just gets me down... this would be a good time for tears.

If only they could roll down my cheeks, maybe that would make me feel better? But they wouldn't for some reason, maybe... i'm turning cold...

Please melt my heart. Please... I need You. Are You not my friend?

I've picked out a word from my vocabulary today, and it's called "perseverance".

Perservere, Dor... You know that you are not afraid to fall.

Be a fool for God. When others sit, you stand, when others stand, you stand out!

This goes out to everyone out there who are feeling low or empty, lost or tired. Persevere dear friends! Even when you feel that no one is there to lift you up, remember that there are others who think and are stuck in situations like yours. It happens, so pull up your socks, pick yourself up from the ground, stand up and start walking tall!

Oh and also, don't ever lose the appreciation for the people around you who try to help... Those are the people whom you have to treasure. :')

Blogged @ 2:45 AM

Blogged @ 1:45 AM

After lunch in this wonderful restaurant called the kitchen with last night's leftovers, my brother and i went into my room to talk a bit. I was just looking through the overloaded shelf in my room when i came across this new looking bible, NIV version. For some reason, i was happy. haha.

Nobody knew whose it was! So i'm declaring it mine. heheheh... i think it belonged to my sister though. Keyword: Belonged. Ahh but she has a new looking expensive bible of her own now... so that poor bible is left there on the dusty shelf.

After finding the bible, my brother found a small little magnetic chess set, given to them on children's day in primary school. My brother said many Northlanders (the primary school was called Northland Primary) didn't like it. LOL! And... yea you guessed it! We decided to exercise our minds a little by making use of that little black and white checkered set.

I used to trash my brother in chess. And i used to feel very good about it... but times have changed. Hahaha. He's pretty good i must admit, and i lost. But i thought that i've put up a strong fight, as quoted from my brother himself. Wah lao... since the beginning of the game, i could only defend myself! I was too slow to attack his army. I already knew that if i don't start attacking, i'll start losing my white pieces one by one... and i don't want that cuz... cuz i love white!

Kidding.

I was confident in winning one okay... and i persevered til the very end. :'} Haha, it's either i'm lousy or he's good. Well i choose to believe the latter. Haha! What... cannot comfort myself isit! Humph... T.T ...

Yeaup! And i realised how much his brain has developed. (and how much mine has depreciated haha) My brother's a gamer. But unlike what the common gamers play, he plays the oldies... runscape, PS2 games... and it just struck me on how the new era has developed the minds of children and teenagers here in Singapore.

There are two kinds of gamers. One type is those gamers who just play for the sake of it. And they just kill the enemies when they have to blindly. The other type is those gamers who strategize how to eliminate their enemies before going about doing it.

It's the same as chess. You can play it blindly, or you can play it by strategizing every move. It developes your mind differently. My brother was able to strategize his moves a lot better than i can strategize mine.

I'm proud of him... :}

I gotta get on with work now, will be going down to the shooting range later in the evening... Have a great day ahead everyone!

Blogged @ 2:26 PM

Ask me ask me ask me what i love now!

"What do you love?"

Okay. Since you really wanna know, i'll tell you. =)

I love my room when it's golden... ^^ If i ever move, i'd need my room to be facing the morning sun when it rises from the east.

It's a must! Or i won't move. I'll stay here til the end of time.

Off to buy honey stars and whatever cereal that they have now! And maybe sushiiii!!! :}

Have a good day dear friends!

Blogged @ 8:32 AM

When i fall asleep at night

the curtains draw themselves up

and the stars fall into my room where i'm sleeping tight

They fall in front of my eyes, waking me

catching a star in the palm of my hands

i crawled out of bed to the window grill

"Please take me away from here,"

"If that's your will"

The star glows

Floating away from my hands,

it falls to a glimmer

I'd like the clock to stand still

I crawl back into bed and pull up the blankets to my chin,

starring out of the apartment

Starring into the shimmers of the sky

Fireflies in a jar

Are like dreams waiting to be unleashed

The glow from the rear illuminating hope

I open up the lid of the jar

And watch the fireflies touch the air of liberty

My dreams flying off afar

Yet close enough for me to taste it

All these, when i fall asleep

Blogged @ 3:34 PM

Wait for the LORD, be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
- Psalms 27:14

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.
- Psalms 29:11

Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
- Psalms 31:3

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
- Psalms 32:8

Blogged @ 10:10 PM

I know i'm supposed to be in bed by now but i just felt like blogging a short post tonight!

Just a short one on how i feel about today...

NPSC had a paintball event this morning. Not many people could go because there were limited vacancies. There were only about 13 of us, Shiwei jiemei couldn't make it! Aww... but it's alright. His body was spared from the bruises and cuts! Haha.

Paintball is scary! I think i'm gonna get a full body armour if i'm gonna play that again... those pellets are really quite painful when they come into contact with your flesh.

My head got hit twice! Ouchhh. Hahaha. Credits to Daniel for firing that first shot at my head. Orange paint splattered all over my hair. It was oily and made my bald head look even balder! But that still isn't so bad, it wasn't so painful.

The second shot at my head was the nasty one! And i've no idea who fired that shot. It's still hurting. Hahaha... nevertheless, i still had fun...

NOT.

Kidding! Hehe. :}

I am easily irritated recently... sigh. I have to try to change that bad habit of mine. It's not nice to be impatient and show a black face. Or maybe i'm just tired. Hahaha, i need rest.

We played MJ at Dennis' house! =D Hahaha, it was a nice bonding time. There were some nice wins... But i'm proud of my last win which also happened to be the last round for the MJ session. That's like... BOOMZ! Haha. It isn't really very big, but i guess it's one of my biggest wins. Haha!

I won with 5 or 6 tais. Self-draw, 2 pong of the dragon, one flower and another one or two animals.

Gloria had to leave halfway during the game cuz her father was there to pick her up... so she wasn't there with me to share the glory. =( Haha, but it's okay.

Hesitated on whether to follow the guys to dinner at Northpoint. Gave in and went in the end. And i didn't regret it. :)

There were so many different people in that group today... All of them so different in terms of their personality. But seeing how they've put their differences aside and how they'd just communicate with each other kind of melts my heart.

I think it's beautiful.

I thought i wasn't someone that would fit in with them. Hahaha... but like a chameleon, i blended in as well. Every one of them made it possible.

Haha, i just happened to catch their good side today.

Thanks once again Dennis, for opening up your house! Without that, i don't think we'd be having so much comfortable fun! Haha.

I want to thank God for helping me to control my temper today. Had to take quick little prayers in between the outing so that i wouldn't be a joy killer. Haha... Goodnight!

Blogged @ 12:42 AM