Just Like Tides

Just a quick post tonight.

I had an experience with failure today.

It was my Cost and Managerial Accounting (CMA) paper today and i did not do well for it. I have always done last minute studying and... this time, i feel like i've met my match.

I don't think that i will pass the paper... sigh. Even though it wasn't too difficult. I knew that the paper was completely do-able. Scoring an A for CMA is very possible.

But...

I've not done my best. My mind rusted and old. I need something to stimulate it... I'm not able to catch things as fast as before. While attempting to fully concentrate and revise yesterday at Coffee Bean with Gloria and Dennis, many thoughts just kept coming into my mind... Them negative thoughts just kept playing over and over like a broken radio. I felt like giving up so many times, felt like breaking down... so that i'll feel better but, no.

You know what's worst than breaking down? Wanting to break down but cannot break down! *suffocates*

And you have no idea how many times i've thought of absenting myself from the CMA paper today. I've tried my best to stay positive... and i sat through it all.

Sigh, so today, it felt like a failure when i couldn't do the paper. Haha, i am completely aware of where i went wrong this time. As in all the other times. Hahaha... but this time, i want it to be different. And i know it will be!

I made a promise two days ago. And the promise is to revise and to do well for my exams. It's for God. I think i'll start fasting lunch for this promise soon... hmm. I've had queries about fasting. This prompted me to ask my cell group leader, Ryan, if it was alright to fast for this promise. And he said that it was fine so...

It's just a matter of when to start! ^^; Tomorrow? After my paper? tee hee

Where i am and where i'll ever be. May God lead me the way.

Amen!

Thanks to Dennis and Gloria for helping me with my studies! ^^V

Blogged @ 10:53 PM

I feel so inspired as the smooth breeze glided lightly and elegantly through my window and into my humble abode this morning!

So now, let us go into the study of breezes to understand them better. Once we do that, we will be able to enjoy them better. Ready? Let's go!

This is a googled out image of the sea and land breeze...

Hah! Kidding. I have no time for that.

Back to feeling inspired.

Umm. Sigh. It's sad that i can't even remember when the last time i've ever been to the beach was. I think it was Sembawang beach. Went there at night with B. But it was quite some time ago... And the cool breeze this morning just makes me wanna fly to Siloso beach at Sentosa right now. Haha, since i can't go to Batam or Langkawi... T.T ...

I guess Sentosa would be fine. tee hee! ^^;;;

Yeah, so that's what i'm feeling inspired about. I shall must most definitely WILL organise an outing to Sentosa when i am free!

No more procrastinations! I shall bother Gloria about this soon. Hehehe. Oh and of course, my steady JY... she's been wanting to go to the beach for tanning. Urghh... what's up with tanning??? I think i look better in fairer skin. But... but... the idea of tanning stirred up by my steady JY is just....

It's just tempting!!! T.T.... Did you know that having tanned skin takes about 5kg off your silhouette?? People look more sporty with tanned skin.

But i look better in fairer skin. Noooooo! Hahahaha. It's okay. I'm sure my mother didn't love me because i was fair. Or else she wouldn't have loved my sister. Hahahahaha. =')) Ohmygosh since when have i become so sarcastic!?!?!? @.@;;; Arghhhh!

Oh! And dear online diary, i havn't told you that i've recently joined two CCAs in school, have i? It's Shooting Club (airbangbang!) and Christian Fellowship! Both are cool. Made many new friends there...

Today, airbangbang's having this monthly shoot. And i think it's just over. Dennis just texted me his scores. Hahaha. Hmm. Shooting is pretty addictive when the people around you are actually serious about shooting and are NOT serious when they aren't shooting! That's the way uh huh uh huh i like it uh huh uh huh

Okay Okay. I gotta start on my revision again! I study to honour God. With my results... come on Dorcas. You can do it. Immanuel forever. I didn't drop my relationship so that i can slack more. I did it because i want to be ready...

Ohmygosh i just remembered that my sister has my blog URL. hahaha but i don't think she'll read this. i think.

If not we'll be having a battle of the bloggers like Singapore's very own Xiaxue and Dawn Yang! Hahaha. Sorry i'm just practising self-entertainment ignore please!

Have a good day ahead dear friends! Or... anyone who reads! T.T

Goodbye for now. :)

Blogged @ 12:37 PM

It has been exactly one week since we decided not to contact each other until both our feelings have stabilized.

It's still counting.

It has been a journey of enlightenment. From knowing my responsibilities as a girlfriend, to knowing the importance of commitment in a relationship, to things like learning how to trust and love in the appropriate way so that the love that we have is not selfish.

It has been hard sometimes.

But for more of the times, it has been good.

I just wonder if he's doing fine so far. Looks to be.

Okay I think i shall not digress any further on this for now. Hahaha. Shall talk about this again in time to come!

After being in a relationship myself, i've come to understand better on what it is really about. Just a few moments ago, a close friend of mine sms-ed me, saying that she just broke up with her boyfriend in the midst of anger...

Another close friend of mine in the same clique as the previous friend i mentioned just went into a new relationship after breaking up with her two-year long boyfriend just recently...

What's all this about?

It is clear that being in love is what many people desire. The thrill, the ecstasy, when you score a goal, when you have someone to love and feel loved by. I guess i have just one thing to say to all of this for now... it's just my own personal opinion after experiencing one myself.

Rushing into a romantic relationship is for the moment, but a romantic relationship equipped with patience will last. Ceteris Peribus!

When one sees a relationship for the long-term, they wouldn't think that they need to rush into it. But i know people that would beg to differ.

There is no right and wrong in this. There is only the self-centered and the selfless.

So which are you?

**************

Moving on to a happier note, i'll be going to a Hillsong concert with my friends on the 25th! Hahaha. Excitedness!

Even better, i'm gonna have 2 tests next week on tuesday and wed! @___@;;;

I should be studying now. Haha. Gooogogogo! *points out index finger and thumb* :)

Oh! and just before i go, i wanna post up this video...

I'm casting my cares aside

I'm leaving my past behind

I'm setting my heart and mind on You

Jesus

I'm reaching my hand to Yours

Believing there's so much more

Knowing that all You have in store for me is good

Is good

Chorus:

Today is the day You have made

I will rejoice and be glad in it

Today is the day You have made

I will rejoice and be glad in it

And I won't worry about tomorrow

I'm trusting in what You say

Today is the day

Oh, oh, oh

Today is the day

Oh, oh, oh

I putting my fears aside

I'm leaving my doubts behind

I'm giving my hopes and dreams to You

Jesus

I'm reaching my hands to Yours

Believing there's so much more

Knowing that all You have in store for me is good

Is good

(Chorus)

(2x's)

I will stand upon Your truth.

(I will stand upon Your truth)

And all my days I'll live for You

(And all my days I`ll live...)

(Chorus)

(2x's)

Today is the day

Oh, oh, oh

Today is the day

Oh, oh, oh

- Today Is The Day by Lincoln Brewster

Blogged @ 9:22 PM