Just Like Tides

Sigh... i just, really really miss my secondary school times a lot. I hope i don't get too depressed because of that really... it's not worth it. All the memories in my head... will be kept close to my heart forever. That is how i will cherish it. It is not supposed to make me feel sad... i'm supposed to smile and those happy times, sad times, neutral times....? lol... I don't ever want to forget... Does anybody understand?

I have to look forward!

Missing Whitley... ='(

Blogged @ 11:55 PM

LOL... there are simply too many things that i want to learn and acheive!!! I just realised... i've always told my friends to take things one step at a time... hehe, looks like it's time for me to take things one at a time now... ^__^; It's POA exam tomorrow! JIAYOU!!! lol... ^^

Oh yeah... my brother's tutor just bought me a new pair of earphones for my phone... what did i even do to deserve this undeserved favour..... T___T I thank her publicly on this blog now... lol.

P.S, I love you.
=P

Blogged @ 8:54 PM

I've kinda had enough of myself... my attitude towards my studies... what am i doing to my life?? >_<;;; I seem to be leading myself towards the path of destruction and doom!!! I can't let that happen. I can't! @____@;;;; C'mon gogogo! *points out index finger and thumb* *and middle finger and ring finger and little finger and all the other fingers on my other hand and toes!*

Blogged @ 7:20 PM

I know i know i knowwww!!!! I know that i'm a very lazy person. And my laziness actually causes me the most damage compared to anyone else. ARGH WHY CAN"T I FREAKING CHANGE IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?! @@&#!@^$%!@(!@*@#^!@*$^*@$&&$*#(@#*$&@#^!@*as dapsdk kdsdkfkfokp sofksp oekfcpskkl;sdsdfksdks dkdfkl !!!

And i think a lazy person should not have handphone. Or MSN for that matter. Or i dunno, house phone? T.V? Bed? Contact lens? Fan? A lazy person should just lock him or herself in the bedroom and laze there all day long! No need to report everything to anyone! No need to do anything! Then, then! Maybe it wouldn't cause so much trouble to others and himself/herself. yeay. :) F.....................reak!!! bye.

Blogged @ 2:53 PM

There are really so many things going on in my mind! I can't put them down for you because i really don't know how to. So many people that i wanna just sit back with and talk to and ask about how they're doing in life... but i just... guess i'm not pragmatic enough! =Z Just one thing that i'm glad i did in a long time tho, and that's going for the Hillsong concert on the 24th of May, Saturday! =DD But mm... Hillsong United looked a bit weary tho... they look really tired, will be praying for them. They did a great job, and i enjoyed the concert a lot. :) So anyway.... YEAY!!! =D Bjorn and i met Chesed and his church youths there! Hehe. His sister, Elika, was there, and so was Kyla. Both still as beautiful as ever! Hahahaha.... how i miss them all. How i miss Abigail Fernandez too. Lol. Fernandez... what a cool surname to have right? Just like Mercado. Cherub Chesed Nonan Mercado. Hehe. =X Alright back to earth.

Life sometimes is a little too misleading, so focus ourselves! We're in a fight not physical, we're in a war, but not of this world. God, always remind me. Lord, open up my eyes to the things unseen. I don't want to be going around in circles and not getting anywhere, i don't want to be the fool. I want to make a purpose out of this empty life and so, in Jesus' name i pray, Amen! :)

"but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." Matthew 24:13.
I need to prepare myself.

Blogged @ 5:58 PM

What's pulling me back together everytime i feel myself falling apart? I'm in a moodless state now... and everytime it happens, i tend to wonder and think. Why, why, why... and why? I seem to need constant reminders, i can't motivate myself very much. I lack self-discipline. Am i really sure of what i'm doing? Where i'm bringing myself to? I feel like an unwanted plastic bad being thrown onto the streets, going only where the wind permits....

I want to cry sometimes because i feel so lost, guilt-stricken of certain things. I want to cry because i'll feel better that way, but i always get only half a tear that won't fall out. My identity is not fully found, and i thought i was so sure of who i am myself.... that i am a daughter of the most High King. But now that my heart is far from God, i don't know if i'm even considered a Christian anymore...? I remember how i submitted my life testimony of coming to know Christ as my Lord and Saviour, I remember what i wrote, that even though "you don't run after God, He will always run after you." I want to know if that is true. I want to experience it for myself instead of reading it from books and listening to a thousand sermons over and over again, but what do i do? Where do i start in the gospel?? Reading the bible is such a simple task, but understanding what God's trying to tell you is of a totally different level. I'm sure you know.
I used to be so excited to pray... for my friends, family, people that i don't even know... the passion's gone.

I want a new beginning. And i'll have to start by creating it... know it's not gonna be easy, it's time-consuming, it takes up a lot of boldness and courage, which i don't really possess either. Lol. And hopefully, i'll be able to express myself more by tearing easily at the end of the day. hahaha... Crying's a beautiful thing! Doncha know...??? ><

Blogged @ 2:30 PM

Remind me if i ever get too busy in hectic life. Take a step back, breathe in, relax. How's life, ya'll? :')

Blogged @ 11:43 PM

Don't expect too much from me. Don't expect too much from anybody.

Blogged @ 12:38 PM

Stranger. Different. Change. Determination. Above. Solid Rock. You.

It's all about You.

Blogged @ 12:20 AM

I tend to assume too much. And it isn't good at all. NOT ONE BIT! @.@ Paranoia, perhaps? Everytime something crops up, i'd always without fail, try to think about the possibilities that could be happening or could happen. If i did this or this... would the results come out the same? If i just pull myself away, is it really the best choice? And it is true, what the teacher said today in LMS (Life Management Skills) class is true, that when we assume things in our heads, these things usually become our reality, it has already been set that that has happened, even without you going to find out the truth. You didn't need to know the truth, since you've already assumed the truth in your head. (I know i'm lor sor, but sorry, i ain't gonna apologise for it. :x)

And... hahaha, the stupid thing is... usually what you assume is not what it really is at all. But before you know it, you've blown up yet another matter which is actually really minor. At the beginning. ^__^;;;

So i'll be working on it. My paranoia. I shallnt let it take control over me. because it does not only hurt me but sometimes... the other party as well... Heheheh. Alright... it's a boring post today, just felt like blogging about something. That all. Ciaoz.

Hehehehe.... oh and Mother's Day's just aroun' da corner!!! xD I love my mama... what should i do for her? ... ='}

Blogged @ 9:56 PM

I have the desire...........

TO PLAY NUTBALL AGAIN!! xD

How i miss those times. It was so fun. I wonder if i'd get that feeling again in poly. Hmm.

Oh yes! Something that i just have to share.... I've learnt my lesson today.... DLDY, ALWAYS PREPARE FOR YOUR TUTORIALS!!!!!!!! #*&$@#(*&*$#@*($
I was asked to present in class today. Along with fishball(my friend, yuen teng LOL) hahaha, and god! I didn't even know what i was presenting at all!!! And so... i practically was just reading off the screen...... SOBS......... i feel like a fool. I must be ready for the next tutorial. And all the following tutorials thereafter!!!!!! Presentation is something that you must get used to in poly life. And they're nothing like the presentations in secondary school. Secondary school is more.... i dunno, slack? hehehe. I guess it depends...

So c'mon Dorcas, change yourself! The world won't stop for you! SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!

("O_O")

Blogged @ 9:38 PM

Sigh. I just wonder... how much time do we have left? If we were all well aware of it, i'm sure we would be doing things differently, or doing different things from what we are doing now...

Sometimes i want time to go by slowly... Sometimes i want time to stand still. Sometimes i want time to just pass by, as fast as lightning! But of course, time will never wait.

Urgh i've been on this blog posting page for the past hour and have written only so much! Reason? Have been chatting online and trying to submit some poly stuff on MeL... >_<;; Oh well. Guess i shall blog again some other time. Lost all my inspiration to blog alr la! :x

Oh and, i had so much fun at the BBQ yesterday(3rd may)... it was my first time organising a birthday BBQ for myself and i really really really have to thank everybody who helped out and went for the event! It's been such a fun time... sec school friends are just the best :) Blog about it some time soon! ciao ciao people! ^^

Blogged @ 12:17 AM

Sometimes it hurts to know the truth...

But would i rather be better off being hurt and knowing the truth or being hurt for not knowing the truth?

And why are you so quiet...?
Why am i feeling this way?
When did i let my heart slip?
When did i fall in a little too deep??

Or no... i shouldn't start asking so many questions now...
I may not be able to understand certain things, so please enlighten me if you will! I don't understand why you aren't replying to my text msg... >___>;;; Blah! Don't tell me it's another miscommunication again! I don't understand! But i'm gonna try and compromise. Hahaha, i guess i should not shield my heart anymore... it's something about this time that makes me wanna give my all. Maybe it's because... i really want to know how powerful love can be.
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..... Corny!!! hahahaha, but hey, that's what i'm really thinking!? Anyway... back to the topic....
Sigh. But then again... Maybe it's you.
I shall not rush. I shall not worry. God, You'll take me to where i should go... I LOVE JESUS! You're my hero! :'P

Blogged @ 10:18 AM