Happy First Birthday Baby Brothers!

February 2009

Today is William and Jonathan's first birthday! We are so happy to have "baby brothers" in our family.

December 2008

I remember being shocked when we got the news that we were having twins. I even struggled with it a little. But now...I know that life would not be as sweet if I didn't have them both. I love my little guys so much. I have just loved that last year. It has been a lot of hard work, but it has really been great! Happy birthday, baby brothers! We love you so much!

March 2009

*Knowing that this day would be pretty emotional for me, I wrote this a month ago, in anticipation of today. I am glad I did it then!*

It is actually February 25. I know that the boys' first birthday is fast approaching, and I want some time to gather my thoughts, to say exactly what is in my heart. This birthday is bitter sweet. I can't believe a year has passed me by so quickly.

July 2008

The details surrounding their birth are still a bit fuzzy although as I have replayed that time in my head, I feel that Heavenly Father was truly watching over my little family. I recognize that He knew and He had a plan, even though I had no idea. Maybe I will blog that one some other time, but not now. It is too much.

Blessing Gowns

October 2008

Anyway, the details surrounding the birth are still pieced together in my mind. I remember going to the hospital. Being told something about a high liver count, low white blood cell count, babies now, put you to sleep, your husband cannot be with you. I remember being wheeled down the hall, into an operating room, sweet, sweet nurses in blue scrubs, blue face masks, and blue hair "nets." Counting backward. Blackness. Waking up, feeling groggy. Aaron at my side. Aaron by my side, asking if the babies were okay, if I was okay. Oxygen masks. Wheelchair. NICU. Not getting to hold William. Falling asleep while holding Jonathan. Leaving the hospital. Leaving my babies there. Coming home, empty house. Daily trips to the hospital to see the babies. Pumping, endlessly.

March 2008

Babies coming home. Washing bottles. 11, 2, 5, 8, am and pm. Wake the baby, change the baby, feed the baby, put him back to sleep. Wake the other baby, change the other baby, feed the other baby, put him back to sleep.

I don't think I can do this. It is still too hard. Words seem to make it cheap. It is not. The most bitter part of all this is the time. I don't remember it all. I feel like I missed it. So much of it. I wonder where I was, but I was right here for it all. I feel like I missed them as babies. But I know I didn't-I had six more weeks of baby that most people get.

April 2008

I wish that I had held them more. I wish that I had snuggled them more. I wish that I hadn't been so sleep deprived. That there weren't so many bottles to wash. That there had been more time for rocking and holding. Those are the most bitter parts.

May 2008

But then there are the sweet parts. Like Jonathan's smile. Like going to get William from his nap and seeing him bounce up and down in the crib, holding on to the edge. Hearing them laugh. William laying his little head on my shoulder.

August 2008

Seeing how happy they are when Emma walks into the room.

July 2008

Watching their reaction when they hear Aaron's voice. Feeding them Cheerios. Sneaking in to watch them sleep, noticing that they are both sleeping in the same position. Dressing them alike so that I am the only one who can tell them apart. Carrying two babies at once.

September 2008

Watching them crawl all over the living room. Seeing William pet Jonathan's head when he is supposed to be asleep. Laying in the floor and being attacked by two smiling, slobbery babies. Jonathan playing with my hair.

November 2008

Watching them try to share their Cheerios. Seeing that there really is a bond between twins. Knowing that it must be fun to share life with your best friend. Wondering if they were such good friends in the pre-Earth life that they couldn't bear to be separated while on earth.

June 2008

I feel so lucky, so blessed, so happy, so pleased. Excited to watch them grow. Excited for what lies ahead. But there is also apprehension. Apprehension in knowing they will continue to grow up. Knowing they will go to school. That one day someone might be mean to them. Missions. Having two sons gone for two years...at the same time. Knowing that boys like to be daring. And brave. And silly.

October 2008

Knowing that my boys are "Hale" boys. (Don't understand that? Do you know many Hale boys?)

January 2009

One day, Aaron and I were talking and he said, "Can you imagine life without both of these little guys?" And my answer is, "No way!"

November 2008

Although it has been hard at times, some of the sweetest moments of my life have been as the mother of these little guys. Nothing could ever prepare me for the love that I feel for them. I once wondered if it was possible to share the love I had for Emma with two more kids. I was told that it was possible. That it was definite. I am here to say, you were right. I think a mother's heart only grows. It only produces more and more love.

I love you so much baby boys.

This Friday

The boys turn one this Friday. I am a mess, emotionally. No, I take it back. I am a complete WRECK emotionally. It is different than it was with Emma. Something about twins.

There. It's out. I said it. Now, I am going to go somewhere and cry.

February

We enjoyed a few warmer days in February-warm enough to go play outside for a little while one evening. This is Jonathan (on the left) and William in their little wagon (the one we got at a yard sale for $2-did I blog about that yard sale?). I love the little outfits they are wearing in this picture. I bought one for William to wear back in December when he was going to have his surgery so he would have something soft and comfy to wear. I couldn't resist one for Jonathan, too. I think this is one of my favorite pictures of these guys. I can tell who is who by looking at the side of their heads. Can you tell? No? I will tell you then. William is on the left and Jonathan is on the right. Just another picture in the wagon (Jonathan on the left, William on the right). And I can't leave out Emma, terrorizing the yard in her Barbie "Jeek." Here are the boys, in Tennessee, at Nannie and Papa's house. They loved the glass door. Aaron kept hiding around the corner and at the end of the porch so I could get this picture. It was cuter in person!

Daddy Daughter Date Night

In February, we went up to Tennessee for the annual Daddy Daughter Date Night in the town I am from. My dad has taken my younger sister the past several years, and this was the first time that Emma and I went. My dad took my sister, Katherine and I, and Aaron took Emma. I think it was fun for everyone! Earlier that day, my mom took Kat, Emma and I all shopping for something to wear (well, something for Kat and me, Emma wore something she already had-but my mom bought that a while back, anyway!). This is Emma and me, posing before leaving for our big night! (I have double chin in all the "nice" pictures of us together, and so you get the crazy one since I look the best in that one.)(Also, I know my shoes don't really look that great with this dress. Believe me, I looked all day for something, ANYTHING, but it just wasn't meant to be. Oh, and I guess we should have moved the mop before taking pictures!) Emma, being her usual self. The Daddy Daughter date night theme was....CINDERELLA. They had a girl there in a blue poofy formal, wearing white gloves and a crown. There was a giant cardboard castle. The centerpieces to the tables were glass slippers or a glass horse and pumpkin carriage. Emma got to keep the centerpiece (we had the horse and carriage). I tell you, there could not have been a happier girl on the face of the earth than Emma that night. See what I have to work with?!?! (And do you notice a theme to Emma's pictures? Nice tongue, Emma!) My dad taught me some of his best swing moves when I was little. We would swing dance together when I was in the youth program at church. He taught Kat some moves, and is now teaching Emma. I love that this is something he has always done with us girls, and that he is continuing the tradition with Emma! Yes, they are doing "that" dance. (I don't know what it is called, but you know which one it is. I will call it...the knee jive.) Emma and Aaron, after a long night of dancing, eating, door prize winning and fun!

More Catching Up from January

Okay, after my last post, when Aaron was doing the editing read (I always make him and my mom read my posts in case I need to edit anything), he informed me that there was plenty of space on my computer for all my pictures to date. He had cleared off a bunch of old junk and I just forgot.

Anyway, on to the pictures!

So many people have commented on the picture of the boys trying to squeeze through the two couches, that I thought I should post this one, too. Since only one head will fit into that crack at a time, they found a way to both look through the couches. Pretty smart, huh? If I remember correctly, William was not too happy about this (he is the one on the bottom). In January, we got a visit from Grandpa and Grandma Jones. Not thinking clearly, I did not take a single picture of them with the kids. Yes, I regret that. I think they should come back to visit so I can take pictures! JoLayne also came down with Julia and she (JoLayne) took pictures of the kids playing together. Emma loves to entertain the boys. And they love it when she entertains them! I am not sure what was so funny to William... maybe it was this face that Emma was making!

Come back to visit later this week, as I have lots more pictures to put on here. On a side note, here is some family news: Sampson and Brittany had their baby girl, Phoenix, on March 11. She is beautiful! (I would love to put up pictures of her, but I need to get their permission first). Our little niece, Brooklyn, turned one yesterday. Happy birthday Brooklyn!