I'm on Vacation...Me, myself, and I

As I write this, I am sitting in the rent office downstairs, "working." Samuel, Kalia, and Annaliese just drove away (and my heart sunk.) This was actually my idea, I am trying to remind myself. This was to give me a badly needed "break" from my current responsibilities.

I guess I am taking a vacation from being a mom and a wife. How often do you get to do that? Samuel is making the drive to Phoenix with the girls to go visit his parents. They are going to help him take care of them for the weekend while I....well...what am I going to do?

Actually, my schedule is packed. But I am REALLY excited to just ATTACK my apartment and clean it out and organize it from top to bottom. It's needed it for about the last 8 months. But since Samuel is gone, I have to work 9-5 in the office, trying to rent apartments and make phone calls, and I'm even going to go stand on the street with a sign that says "free rent." I am dreading this part, but it's part of what Samuel is doing right now, and we're basically swapping roles.

I'm nervous about being the Property Manager for the weekend. I'm also a little scared that (worst case scenerio) my whole little family will get in a car wreck...or that someone is going to break in on me while I'm alone, but whew, deep breath, I'm sure it's going to be okay. (And I have my little .22 in the drawer next to me, and I know how to use it. Don't be fooled though, I'm still new at shooting guns. But it makes me feel better to have it.)

So, I gave in to the temptation to blog (hey, this computer is right in front of me!) and now I'm going to make a list of everything I need to accomplish this weekend. Then I really do need to get to work. Yuck....I don't really like this kind of work. Oops. No more complaining!! Working on it! (Thank you everyone for the fantastic book suggestions...I am going to read all of the, I already have 3 books in the office with me now!)

1. Sleep 9 straight hours, three days in a row (YIPEE!! CAN'T WAIT!)
2. Fold and put away 12 loads of laundry (as of now....they are at least washed/dried)
3. Clean out both walk-in closets, organize and store all baby clothes (long project)
4. Go through all my clothes that I haven't worn and donate them
5. Clean, scrub, vacuum, etc. etc. every inch of this place.
6. Clean out and declutter all cupboards and drawers
7. Get a massage...if I have time (I got a gift card for Christmas)...I don't think I'll have time.

I'm worried I'm not going to have enough time to get it done- I also have to be in the office Saturday from 9-1. People are inviting me to do all these fun things and I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn them down because this precious "alone time" is going to go very fast.....
WISH ME LUCK!!

Some thoughts about Complaining

I know it's not good to complain. But...it's still something I struggle with. I remember having this conversation with Samuel about a year into our marriage--he was letting me know in the nicest way he knew how that I complain too much. It was kind of eye-opening, I didn't realize how much I was doing it, and I vowed to stop complaining (at least to him). Now, two years later, that same conversation has come up again. It turns out...I'm still complaining, and I didn't even realize it.

I feel bad about it-- what man is going to look forward to coming home to a complaining wife? What do I complain about, you may wonder? Well, lately it's been about how many hours he's had to work. And it makes me mad that the owners, his bosses, don't even appreciate it. All they care about is getting more units rented. They don't give a dang that he stayed up til 1 a.m. trying to get an air conditioning unit fixed, or a leak fixed, or yadda yadda yadda. If they at least APPRECIATED his long hours, I wouldn't feel like complaining about them as much. So I also complain about the ungrateful bosses (Samuel tells me this is very female/emotional, and business is business, he's not bothered by it, but whatever.) On top of that, he has SOOO many meetings for church, you'd think he was in the Bishopric or something. I feel like I hardly ever get to see him. I try really hard not to complain about church obligations, because I'd definitely be more unhappy if he wasn't going to his meetings and doing his home teaching...but I just want to feel like THE FAMILY COMES FIRST. Sometimes it feels like we're last, but honestly, I know he's doing the best he can.

Well, I know I got a little defensive. "Hey, even Sariah complained in the Book of Mormon" I shot back...but I know I need to be better. But I realized that when I complain, or should I say, VENT, I feel so much better afterwards!! Then I had another realization...that's what girlfriends are for! They (usually) know just what to say, such as, "That's hard!" "That sucks!" "It's okay to feel that way!"

Mom's are great listeners too, but I think we have to be careful with that one, I learned in a class once that if you complain about your spouse to your parents, they'll get overly concerned that you don't have a good marriage, since they don't get to see all the great things your spouse does that we all probably take for granted.

I wish there was a really good, helpful book entitled, "How to Not Complain to Your Spouse." I am going to go search for one now. But if any of you have any thoughts on how I can be better at this, I'd love to know.

**Added Later**
THIS book has good reviews on Amazon, and my library has it, so maybe I'll start there.

This smaller cut was so deep, this is the one that severed the sciatic nerve (75%)
This is what I saw when I pulled her out of the bathtub. Most of that blood is clotted. I saw more raw flesh and fatty tissue, like you can see behind the blood clot.

V Day

We had a simple Valentines Day this year-- I was so tired, I just wanted to pretend it was a normal day, but thanks to my mom (a big holiday buff) and Samuel for encouraging me to make it at least a little special. We just did Olive Garden take-out and Cold Stone too. I do have one rule for Valentines Day though-- NO FLOWERS. It's one of the only times of the year that the price of flowers/roses doubles or triples, and there's no way the bargain shopper in me can feel good about the money spent on them. I hate to feel ripped off like that. I told Samuel that he can and SHOULD give me flowers any other day of the year, I really do love them. But please don't waste that money on Valentines Day. I like love letters the most anyway. And chocolate, now that I can eat it again. And I got both this year.

Kalia got a balloon for Valentines Day. She loved it so much, she had to take it in the bath with her. After awhile, the balloon stopped rising- something happened to the helium? Anybody know why this is? I'm sure there's a great scientific explanation. 5 minutes after the bath, it was back to normal.

Well, we are headed back to St. George today for ONE more doctors appointment with Dr. Kaddu, a pediatrician who is a GI specialist. I've heard some really great things about him. Annaliese is still doing pretty good, but she might have a little cold. Kalia has a really bad one. It's been so cold and rainy...I'm ready for some sunshine!!!

Well, sending my love to all my friends, Happy (belated) Valentines Day.

Getting to the Bottom of it...

Who is this baby? It's Annaliese! Look! A smile! Finally caught one. I had to post a few new details about what's been going on (and why Annaliese is feeling a bit better these days.) About a week ago we switched her over 100% to a Hypoallergenic formula by Similac called Alimentum. It's made specifically for babies with milk allergies. We tried it before, but not completely, I would still breastfeed her at night because I was too tired to bottle feed. Anyway, we did find out that this formula is the "lesser of the two evils".... She still has little bumps and rashes that pop up at least once a day, and she has cradle cap and the red ring around her little bum, but she is NOT CRYING ANYMORE!! Unless she's hungry or tired that is. It's such a dramatic difference. We are going to see the allergy doctor Wednesday to see what other formulas we can try so that maybe we can eliminate all her symptoms.

Unfortunately, she has some other things going on since we've started the formula. I hope this isn't TMI for everyone, but she has stringy mucous in her poop. We took her to a pediatrician in St. George, and it tested positive for blood in the stool. Her urine did as well. The doctor thought she might have an infection, but we're waiting on some lab stuff to see if that's the case. My gut instinct says that's not it, but I would love it if I were wrong, because an infection is an easy-fix.


We are still seeing the chiropractor, and some of you mentioned the NAET method, and that is what he is doing on her. He doesn't know how long it will take for it to work on her (he says it always works), but we've been 7 times, and I'm capping it off at 10. It hasn't worked so far. I REALLY want it to work, and I am even pumping to try to keep my milk just in case we can keep doing that. If not, so be it. I took the advice of a good friend to let Annaliese know that I love and accept her just the way she is. She seems to respond to loving words and loving touch, way more so than Kalia ever did.

This picture had to be documented: She has done this twice this week, just falling asleep sitting up in someone's arms. Usually she has to be swaddled and bounced with a binky. So I think this is a good sign. And it's so darn cute. Thanks everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and concern. Hopefully we will have more answers soon.