- わからない -

是要持续仍旧珍惜
还是回到原地
如今此刻的我
的确是有一点疲倦

- ただいま -

So I'm back from a trip that didn't feel like I left Singapore at all. Though I'm back, it felt that the past week was all but a dream - It never really took place. All of us felt that way...

The trip was plagued with problems right from the start that kind of set the mood of the trip. First, our flight was delayed for 3 whole hours without any explanations. Just a SMS the day before to inform us that the flight was delayed -.-

And when we finally set foot on what is supposedly not Singapore land, we still didn't feel like we were out of the country. Muddle-headedly found our way to the hotel only to be informed by the hotel staff that they didn't receive our room bookings. #facepalm. Took more than 1 hour and we couldn't settle it. Our agent could not be contacted and the hotel staff informed us that the hotel was fully booked. We appeared slightly agitated and they offered us a suite which had a magnificent view of the city. It's a 5star hotel afterall...But after some discussion, they decided to downgrade us but offer us free breakfasts in the hotel for the next few days that we were going to be there.

So we were only stayed in the suite for 10 minutes...and this was the view hahaha..Finally got our rooms (without the view) and we trudged out for a very late dinner nearby. And that was how we spent our Day 1. 

Day 2

Crazy shopping tour and ended off with Symphony of Lights where there were much more left to be desired.

Day 3

Disneyland. 

Crazy heat and lack of sleep left me in a very grouchy mood. VERY. Travel companions are terribly important =.=

Received yet another balloon with mixed emotions! 

Anyway, the balloon had lights!! It changes colour periodically.

It was really lovely actually but alas, nothing lasts forever. I was forced to burst the balloon as I couldn't bring it up the plane...

There! This is clearer!

Day 4

NyongPing in Crystal Suite. It wasn't as scary as I thought.

Super duper high. And how bright and sunny it is right!

And the next moment....I can't even articulate my fear...we were so high up...and the winds were howling in the cabin...all that went through my mind was..Thank God I told my parents I'm going to Nyong Ping..at least if anything happened, they will know I'm there...

But thank God, I'm safe and sound haha.

So we climbed the stairs to visit the Buddha after a Japanese lunch..haha..

After which, we walked the Wisdom Path...I don't know why but I keep calling it the Path of Enlightenment haha.

And was greeted with an awesome view. The air was great. And there was peace all around.

Had the Mountain Water Tau Huay and down the mountain we went for second round of shopping!

Day 5

 Bummed around and it was home sweet home.

=======

So there you go! No wonder I didn't feel like I left Singapore right..everything was so surreal. Nothing accomplished..perhaps only watching of Running Man in bed every night was the highlight of the trip :)

Back in Singapore.

Back to reality.

下一页的我该去哪...

- また -

도대체 알수가 없어 남자들의 마음 원할땐 언제고 다주니 이젠 떠난데 이런적 처음이라고 너는 특별하다는 그 말을 믿었어 내겐 행복이었어 말을 하지 그랬어 내가 싫어 졌다고 눈치가 없는 난 늘 보채기만 했어 너를 욕하면서도 많이 그리울꺼야 사랑이 전부인 나는 여자이니까 모든걸 쉽게 다주면 금방 싫증내는게 남자라 들었어 틀린말 같진 않아 다시는 속지 않으리 마음 먹어 보지만 또 다시 사랑에 무너지는게 여자야 말을 하지 그랬어 내가 싫어 졌다고 눈치가 없는 난 늘 보채기만 했어 너를 욕하면서도 많이 그리울꺼야 사랑이 전부인 나는 여자이니까 사랑을 위해서라면 모든 다 할수 있는 여자의 착한 본능을 이용하지는 말아줘 한여자로 태어나 사랑받고 사는게 이렇게 힘들고 어려울줄 몰랐어 너를 욕하면서도 많이 그리울꺼야 사랑이 전부인 나는 여자 이니까 오늘 우린 헤어졌어 부디 행복하라고  너보다 좋은 사람만나길 바란다고 너도 다른 남자랑 똑같애 나를사랑한다고 말할땐언제고 솔직히 나 니가 잘되는거 싫어 나보다 예쁜 여자만나 행복하게잘살면어떻게? 그러다 날 정말 잃어버리면 어떻게? 난이렇게 힘든데 이렇게 힘들어죽겠는데 아직도 널 너무 사랑하는데 사랑을 위해서라면 모든 다 할수 있는 여자의 착한 본능을 이용하지는 말아줘 한여자로 태어나 사랑받고 사는게 이렇게 힘들고 어려울줄 몰랐어 너를 욕하면서도 많이 그리울꺼야 사랑이 전부인 나는 여자 이니까 너를 욕하면서도 많이 그리울꺼야 사랑이 전부인 나는 여자 이니까

- Indignant -

ARGH. I'm feeling so indignant. The dangers of communicating through a screen is that you cannot see the person's expression on the face and hear the tone of that person.

Because of such limitations of technology, and the lack of the use of emoticons, I was wrongly accused of being difficult to communicate with when all I asked was "why must leh".

I got a reply saying that it is for safety precautions which I questioned further the usefulness of these "safety precautions" and how we can improve it further. BUT I WAS VIEWED AS BEING DIFFICULT TO COMMUNICATE WITH.

I read through that conversation at least 3 times. I felt that my questions and suggestions were justified but why in the world was I misunderstood? Was it because I didn't pepper the conversations with "haha"s and emoticons and whatnot?! I was just stating the facts and I had absolutely no intention of coming across as nasty.

But boy, was I wrong.

Basket case.

Hmmph!

- 頑張ったんだけど･･･ -

頑張ったんだけど･･･無理だよ。

なんで一所懸命で？

もう疲れた。笑顔と泣いて最も痛みを伴うよ。

耐えられなきゃねぇー。

強くになりたい。ヨーシ！

- もう終わった -

原来笑着哭最痛。

我累了。真得好累，好累。

想请假，但没空。那天原本请了半天假，却最后还得取消。

你曾经有过这种经历吗？你已经精疲力尽，但却得带着笑容面对世界。

那天和同事在房间真理一些资料，便谈了起来。说着，说着，泪水不知为何地掉落了。我就笑了，说：“对不起，泪水不听我的话，不停地流。”

她看着我，说了一句话，深深地留在我的脑海里。“今天，我了解到什么是笑着哭最痛。”

==========

请你别再问我发生了什么。因为原因我也不晓得。我也不想跟你谈这件事。

谢谢合作。

- いいんです -

もう十分。止まります。

今まで、楽しかったです。
お世話になりました。。

- 困ってるん -

Recently, I found a little more time and managed to get out of my hibernation mode to go out and meet friends that I haven't met in a long while.

Work has been usurping my life. So much so that a colleague and I started the "Life-Preservation Campaign" in an attempt to preserve what's left of our lives. Life here is defined as social life; life outside of work. But we learnt that Life as defined by the management when they say Work-Life Balance, actually means Work-Life Integration. Work = Life. Work is life. Their lives. Not mine.

So anyway, prolonged hours staring at a computer and dealing with nasty people has an adverse effect on my moods. Let's just say I haven't been the nicest person to be with. I can be happy one moment, and the next, all sulky and moody. I even vent my...erm...displeasure on people whom I feel close to; the people whom I do not feel the necessity to hide my emotions.

Not that I'm a person good with hiding my emotions. Every friend who has known me enough say that I'm like an open book. My emotions are written on my face. Trust me. I have been trying to "close this book" in the past 2 years but I really wonder what the success rate is.

Recently, these tear-ducts of mine have also been overly active. I blame it on the lack of sleep and the stress I'm facing. I can't even control the water droplets that are released from these ducts. I don't even know what triggers them. The more I try to control them, the more they try to escape and my face turns all red.

I recall one of those Fridays that I had to report to work at 7+. I was a total wreck. I had a presentation in the morn at 8am and had to conduct a session at 830am. Moreover, the night before I was hurt by some fellow's words and the fear of oversleeping kept me awake for most of the night. Imagine how I looked when I reached office. Eyes puffy and bloodshot. AND half-awake. I felt like a swallowed an electronic hammer with all the pounding and throbbing in my head.

I'm not a coffee drinker. But in recent months, I have been drinking coffee just to keep awake and force my brain to work that extra mile. Starbucks has become a haven for my happy drink. My manager, assistant and I will trudge to Starbucks a few times a week to reward ourselves with a cuppa. I no longer indulge in Frappes. I drink Cappucino (how do you spell it anyway) now. I love the bitter taste as compared to the sweetness of Frappes. I've matured *ahem*.

But I've digressed. And what else is new? Haha. I meant to talk about the emotions that I have been feeling lately...

So I've been sharing with a number of friends the changes in my life and my inability to deal with the situations and the emotions that arise from them. Most of them tell me that they are excited for me and to keep an open mind.

I'm trying. I really am. But through this journey, I discover more about myself. More bad points about myself that I'm really praying about and trying to rid myself of them. I used to think I would behave in a certain manner if I were to be caught in the situation. But truth be told, I actually behave in a manner that I myself hate, yet cannot do anything about it at the moment.

Thank God I have this friend, who have been really honest and drops me liners about how I'm reacting. Perhaps, 'over-reacting' will be a better word. These liners are like slaps in my face...reminding me what a terrible person I am.

I think that with my current personality...I may lose what I have now.

I really got to change.

God, please help me.

- みんな、さしぶり！ -

Hello everyone! It has been a really long time since I last blogged! March was crazily packed with work and social life since it was the birthday month :D Yep! Mid-twenties already -_-"' And next year I'll be late twenties. Oh mann. 

Anyway, by the time you see Mr Smiley, which is the balloon surprise I received, he has already left us. He stood tall for exactly a month! I mean, this is the first helium balloon that has lasted more than a week, let alone a month! 

And my favourite cushion that I hug everyday at office ^^;;

And tadah~ Below is Chip who is no longer under my charge :)

- シンガポールエーショー -

I don't understand why people like to suntan. Gosh. 2 days in the sun (+rain) for the bi-annual エーショー! and i'm lobster red!!! Gosh. I went home and put cooling masks and lathered myself with moisturizer. Rofl.

I loved the aerial display!! I was ooh-ing and ahh-ing next to my bemused partner for the day. When I saw the Australian air-force's stunts, I was in awe. I nudged my partner and told him that I wanted to check out the pilots later. ROFL.

Anyway, look what my trusty camera managed to capture!! It requires crazily skillful pilots and teamwork to be able to execute such magnificent and jaw-dropping stunts!! I mean, these people are fighter pilots. They aren't paid to do stunts but they are absolutely marvelous. Their stunts are close to perfection, if not perfect. You see the picture below, they were flying so close to each other and one was on top of the other!! They need to have perfect coordination to be able to do that safely O_O

To be honest, it was so sunny I was just pointing my camera in some random direction and then I shoot. Amazingly I still managed to capture some pretty stunning shots, eh? TEEHEE ^^

Gosh. The pilots are so cool T_T Hahahahaa!

Whee!~! Nice shot!

Beautiful shot! ROFL.

And of course, the highly raved about private jet. Yayy! I touched his plane wing!! Lots of times actually. HAHAHA! This is to show I was actually there.

Ooh this was taken at the rooftop garden of our company's chalet's! Looks good eh? Hahaha!

Whee~~Sea view!

It's actually the same spot as our chalet 2 years ago where I posted a post about it 2 years ago. Yea but this time no pictures with any pilots :( And so many things have changed since then....colleagues have changed..my life has changed...

I still recall the message I sent out sitting at the porch downstairs. This time, I didn't sit out at the porch. I sat inside with the comfort of the air-con, sending a similar message.

Actually I like my job. Especially when I'm attending events that are not planned by me. Hahaha. If only the people around will stop getting weirder.

ROFL.

Alritey, movie tomorrow~! Oyasumi!

- 元気？ -

Wow..didn't realise that time passed by so fast. I haven't blogged for more than half a month! Not that anything exciting in my life has taken place anyway -_-"' Ok, that's a lie. It has been pretty fulfilling and enriching and eye-opening and...and...I ran out of words.

Workload has been piling up and the dynamics of the team has changed. More priorities in life now..having to juggle so many things and people's expectations. With the changes in my life, I'm trying not to retreat too much in to a make-believe world of happiness and lose important friends in my life, as with many other people's cases.

Someone shared with me that she recently separated from her husband. I was shocked. Totally lost for words because she was the epitome of marital bliss - initially, at least. How does a relationship of at least 12 years change so much in a span of a few months? How does one let go? How is she going to get used to living without this person who has been with her for so many years?

With Valentine's Day just a couple of days away and many businesses cashing in on this overly commercialised day where couples declare their so-called Love for each other, I can't help but wonder what actually defines Love.

Is it just the gifts and flowers? Well, I'm sure many girls will reply 'no'. Yet, without these, the girl may feel that it's not a proper Valentine's Day. Ok, I admit. The girl is me -_-"'

Anyway, I digressed.

So we're going to celebrate Valentine's Day but there won't be any fancy restaurant. Nor will there be any flowers. But who cares about all these now.

We should just enjoy happiness while it lasts.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

- CNY -

As I prepare for the lunar new year, I partake in the annual routine of spring cleaning, which is to make my room resemble less like a pig sty.

A major project.

In fact, 'major' is an understatement.

I'm usually a hoarder. Which means I am not fond of throwing away things. Therefore, you can imagine how much my room has shrunk over the years -_-"' Cards, little notes, even wrapping paper which came with the gifts are some of the secret stash that are overflowing from the cupboard and drawers.

If you have watched Hotaru no Hikari, you might have a clearer understanding of how my room (used to) look like. Yup, my room resembled the lead actress' - the himono onna. そうよ～あたしも干物女です～～＾＾

ROFL.

Ok, it's not THAT bad but if I didn't start packing my room for CNY, it may be like that. The floorboard will be completely hidden and I may have to push things away before you can even see my bed.

Before the floor becomes resurfaced with things which origins escape me, I decided to have an overhaul. I threw away bags and bags of stuff. Stuff that I couldn't bear to throw for years. This time, I threw away some of the letters, notes, chocolates that I received previously and couldn't bear to eat (yes, i know..gross right..but they haven't expired!), gifts that I bought but never gave out...ok, in any case, I adopted the "out with the old" mentality. I stopped myself from thinking how much money I'm actually throwing away :S

Yet, to my absolute horror, after THREE big bags of garbage (which I was actually quite proud of myself for getting over my hoarding attitude), it didn't look like I cleared anything out at all. MY GOSH. So I had to clear MORE stuff @_@

If I'm out shopping with any of you and show any interest with getting any bags, especially bags that I claim are cheap, PLEASE STOP ME.

Yea, I'm sure I'll come up with a smartie-pants excuse and tell you why I need that bag to match with whatever piece of clothing I have.

Nevertheless, if you are a great friend, STOP ME!! Tell me that I'll regret it. Snatch my wallet away if need be!

My new year resolution this year is to stop buying cheap bags because they can't be kept. They somehow start flaking, change colour and whatever not. So if I express interest in getting bags especially those without brands, remind me how many I threw out this year.

COUNTLESS -_-"'

Due to the very fact that I can't afford too many branded bags, my stash of bags will naturally reduce because of my budget constraint. ROARS!!

ARGH. But I'm still annoyed by the fact that despite throwing out so many bags of rubbish, my room is still cluttered. I really got to stop buying stuff, clothes excluded.

Okok, I got to sound less angsty. OH! That reminds me I got to share with you all my weird experiences with 3 cab drivers on 3 consecutive rides!! I'll leave that to the next post!

Happy Lunar New Year, everyone~~

Things look set to be great. Just great.

Muacks~

- 是否 -

如果 再舍不得
这样下去 我们每个人都是受害者
当爱情陷在危险边缘
是否都会伤痕累累
是否都会苦不堪言
爱情教会我们都放不下

- Fare ye well 2011 -

Ok this post is pretty late, considering we are already one week into 2012.

A lot of reflections to do but I don't know where to begin.

Many starts and re-starts in 2011 took place. I'm thankful for everything that has happened though all may not be the most ideal situation.

2012 started off in a...unique fashion. We had a countdown but due to some overdose of fibre intake, I kind of missed the whole point of the stayover altogether -_-"'

So far, 2012 has been pretty good..that is if the world consists of just me and you. But of course it's not, so..let's just see how it goes.