Life in itself is full of viccissitudes. One moment it can be good, then the next second it becomes bad.
I'm starting to feel a little detached from them. Because of this difference in what we believe in. They think that christians believe in a foreign god and disregard their ancestors and elders, while we believe that respect to elders does not mean that you show it only after they are no longer around; you do it when they are alive and well.
Trust me, it's not good when you are living under the same roof and you have to bear with all these. How to tahan the 2 years staying with my parents until the house comes?
It feels worse when you share it with your friends and seemingly no one understands you and think that your thinking is wrong.
Sometimes the same old questions plague me again: would it be better off if i was a 2nd or 3rd gen Christian? So that i don't have to go through the countless tauntings, the countless "i'm-not talking-about-you-but-i-don't-like-christians-to-share-the-bible-with-me" talks, the countless "what-on-earth-did-you-just-say" kinda faces. Seriously, i could really do better with less of these. It's making me less focused on other things, such as work, and marriage preparation... but somehow reading what Nicholas wrote in his fb made me realise this: God is in control, even in the seemingly hopeless situations, he is still in control. It's just that we don't see it yet. All is in His time.
"When your life seems to be a major disaster; know that God has bigger plans to use your life for great things. The story you see may not reflect the long-term story God has planned. Therefore, trust God, knowing that he works for good in all circumstances (Romans 8:28)"
We have started our "a thanksgiving a day" daily prayer before we go to sleep at the end of the day since last week, and i'm really comforted by the fact that even though we live in such a hopelessly fallen world, yet we have so much to be thankful for. The house (which will only be ready in '14), having small tiny progress in our marriage preparation, being delivered out of a situation where you cannot possible gain much in working in that particular company, and etc. All these, we give our thanks to God.
Sometimes i feel ashamed that our walk with God only becomes closer when our little boat runs the risk of getting grounded. For 4 years, it has been about ourselves, and ourselves only. Yes, God is in the picture only in the beginning when i was persecuted for coming to church. But the more the things became better, the more difficult it is to remain close to God and not take everything for granted.
I guess being in this situation is part of His prompting so that I will have more things to tell Him when i go home to be with Him one day. The testimony that glorifies God should not stop at merely the beginning of the faith or the end of our lives on Earth, but throughout the entire life process on Earth. :)
