Saturday, January 15, 2011
blogging remembered
its 3.07am now. i have never felt so terrible in my life before. i have never felt so afraid and overwhelmed. i feel like i am never gonna leave this nightmare.i am afraid as each passes, i have nothing for my fyp as indeed, i have nothing.
Something is expected yet, yeah nothing is there.
i am so afraid of this negativity in me right now. i have never been so controlled by a situation before. Its gonna be march that i can remove the shackles, but how am i gonna get there?
being with friends can numb the pain, for only awhile.
i am 23 and i am afraid. i cant escape.
people are asking me to jia you, yet i dont even know if i can. *bitter smile*
Posted by veronica? at 3:07 AM
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
never learnt
i never learn what it means to let go i guess. aggravating the situation is wad i always do...Posted by veronica? at 11:57 AM
Monday, November 01, 2010
November already :)
Wow its week 12! i am so close to graduating.again, i have not blog for eons.
oh wells, i feel so ...
i ask myself if i am a petty person, but i guess its caused I realized I do not know you as well as I expected. frankly, i have no secrets to keep and secrets that i am keeping. and i still have to enjoy your company? see how. but i am abit sian sian...
wadever. i just want to study, and work hard as I used to last time. can't be bothered about trips with them. just want to take pictures with my dslr when exam ends. it will be a great enjoyment.
Posted by veronica? at 1:45 PM
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Final year!
Back to blogging after 5 months...back in school for my final year today right after national day. Coming back to school to study doesnt seem so bad. I think i am going to enjoy this year, or this sem alot actually. Its nice to study during the semester and not plan for any camps.
Enjoyed this totally in my year 1 so it year 1 all over again.
So FOP is changed to FYP this year.
Throughout my involvement in FOP in all three years by doing 2 SCAMPS and 1 SOW, I am only glad for 2 things, that I have learnt some skills and I have made friends that matter.
SCAMP2008 was my first camp. As reluctant as I was initially, I enjoyed and have fun at the end of the day. SOW2009 was a camp that I put in my heart, soul and experience from the previous camp: Service to the campers. It was also a camp where I can start to pass down skills and learn more as a person. SCAMP 2010... it just ended 1.5 months back. Everything is still so vivid...
SCAMP2010 com was the most well-balanced com that I have worked with; 3 year 3s, a very relaible bunch of year 2s and many year 1s with ideas and energy. I am glad the freshmen enjoyed it. I am glad, at the end of the day, I remembered: For the Freshies.
FOP season is not supposed to be a competition between coms, yet it more or less turned out this way. I thought that projects should always help one another... oh wells... Key persons should not be biased... it turned out this way :)
I am glad this year that SCAMP managed to send down loads of freshmen interested in rag dance, and the initial freshmen who went down for OCC and rag. I am glad rag was so strong on their own; crap shit did not manage to screw them in anyway. People who were red with envy on rag day, there is something really wrong with them... I thought you are proud to be in blue? People who held the shields, took pictures with it, and got high on the victories when you all did nothing to contribute... f. I am glad rag won virtually everything that it was a big slap to the &^%^&*(&*(& crap shit people who think they are awesome.
Never loved rag so much before. Never so impressed. The director did what he came to do. Create memories. Winning was an extra.
Anyway... thanks for not mentioning SCAMP. Its ok, its alright. I know we did a fantastic camp in our own right. No need for severe self praise. We worked our asses off and I am proud of doing so.
For the first time... I no longer miss FOP. I miss my friends...
I must remember: Emotions felt are trasient...
It is time to study hard. For a better future.
Posted by veronica? at 11:03 AM
Monday, March 22, 2010
some stress lifted after my completion of my part for the group essay meant for the understanding universe module. i still have an individual 1000 word essay. shouldn't be that difficult coz there is some enjoyment from writing essay. being some weird person, i enjoy doing word counts. i love to see the word count rise at the bottom left hand corner on my laptop screen everytime i checked it.blogging as a 22-year old. doing this essay... haha universe is fun but info loaded. its so funny that 10 years later, i am learning about smt i love when i was young. I dreamt of being an astronaut. Its impossible. So as a consolation, i completed the stars requirement for "I am a young astronomer" badge. Its the easiest badge as i only need to collect 10 stars. Apparently this badge thingy idea is phased out?!?!?! *wonders* I am a young environmentalist and botanist (simple coz my dad owns a nursery lol) as well!
point is, i am now so super fascinated with the images taken from the universe.
i so so want this sem to end. kns i forgot to look for honours prof... again...
Posted by veronica? at 11:24 PM
Thursday, December 31, 2009
2009
its gonna be over soon... :) great! it has been fantastic due to SOW! it has been tiring due to it as well :)oh wells. For 2010, my direction is super clear. Routine: study, tuition, bit of photography and Sci club stuff.
Was thinking about obtaining a Masters recently. shall give up this thought. I will be contented with a first class honours which i will work hard for in my last 3 sems in NUS.
right now, 1 hour to 2010, i am reading my fav book from uni: mu inorganic chem text. loving this sem. coz its transition metals !!
my packing is like 50% complete. shall do more tmr. i need to get hangers. Not excited for FOP chalet coz i hate to have a meeting during a chalet. is this even a chalet then. wth. cbb for now.
hopefully i will go for a jog tmr~ to good health for 2010!!
happy new year~
Posted by veronica? at 11:10 PM
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
results day
the reality is going to hit soon. so soon. i wish it wouldn't be true but its 99.99% gonna happen. how to defeat the odds? its has nothing to do with my own results, but it will affect me soon to come... i hope that 0.01% will come true.worried...
a side note, going out with sow com (pathetic number) was fun. i know that one thing about me is true. i like to win. its not just words coming from my mouth that i am competitive, but yeah, its true. win!!
i am so competitive that i hate it. at least sometimes. coz i do not know wad to do when i am competing with my own frens... till today, i find it difficult.
sian~
most sian is i can't believe i am still liking you... until today...
Posted by veronica? at 12:50 AM
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
the rain and wind at night...
love it! i am feeling so alert now, even though i have just finished compiling SCAMP 2010 programmes first draft games proposal today. 27 pages wow! could be longer of course :)the process is familiar, yet so distant. somehow. i have reached the stage that i can't really churn out games, i am good at copying now KNS! bottleneck when it comes to thinking games... year 3 all i am good is i can definitely anticipate potential problems and i know wad to do without much guidance.
was looking at SOW09 proposal for ideas and kooping :) missed the com A LOT. So nice. in 13 hours later i will be seeing half of them coz its our outing.
I wonder how SCAMP10 will bond. With 4/5 ex scamp09 members, lots of small cliques and random people lol, how will we work? Ex com members :) there is a golden ratio to new blood i feel. Not too much, not too little or at least you are observant and thus experienced :) i wonder, wonder and wonder all the time when i think of SCAMP10. SCAMP will end in june before i know it. Lotsa mixed feelings.
I am regretting some things i have done a few months back... of course i can't take them back. When emotions run high, i tend to lose control of my mind and mouth. sigh~ oh wells. At least things are more peaceful now.
competition? wad competition? LOL i am lazy, tired and old le. All i see is one big joke.
Running SOW 2010 will be my secret dream... a dream... lots of: if onlys... ... my dream team? there already, just that a lot of girls haha.
I am enjoying my tee shirts designing and photo taking currently and now, at 12.53 am, I am enjoying songs from Jason Mraz. Not my normal style coz i like fast paced music, but his music is great lar.
so the rain has stopped. disappointment ... small time :)
