A CONSUMMATE LIAR

Journalists' journalist Keith Waterhouse has died and with his demise another final nail in the coffin of Great British scribes.

With writing partner Willis Hall, KW penned the iconic Billy Liar, filmed just a few miles from here in Bradford circa 1961.

Like many of his generation, Waterhouse moved from his early radicalism and Daily Mirror column espousing Labour's cause to the Mail and growing reactionary politics. I found his later stuff tedious. But in his heyday he was a champion of wonderful writing- his book on Daily Mirror style was a classic for all aspiring journos who wanted to express themselves clearly and well. And his famous advice about fish and chips still holds true today.

There are only two possible accompaniments, he said, to the Great British Dish and they are either a steaming pot of tea or champagne.

When I go to Brighton in a couple of weeks' time, might well throw financial penury to the winds and have a bottle of the latter in his memory...........

DIANA APPLEYARD - THE TRUTH!

A favourite saying of mine is that if you sit by the river long enough then you will see the bodies of your enemies float by....well I can't say I'm surprised to see my ex colleague Diana Appleyard "outed" on Labour Home as a xenophobic, reactionary hack plying rubbish for the Daily Mail.

A leaked e-mail now doing the rounds on the net reveals that she was looking for " anonymous horror stories"of people who have employed Eastern European staff, only for them to steal from them, disappear, or have lied about their resident status - with £100 upfront for the privilege of taking part (Diana by the way will get about £1000 for this trash) .

I worked with Diana 20 years ago as a young cub reporter - in fact I owed my job to the fact she was leaving. AmI grateful? No. She comes from one of those privileged Lancashire families who live in the Forest of Bowland and go riding ie the "county set." She slummed it for a bit in Manchester but, as anyone who has read her rubbish in the Mail will testify, soon moved back into the world of ponies and privilege. I think, when I knew her, she was a member of the NUJ. If she still is ( which I doubt) then frankly she should be kicked out. The agenda she is pursuing breaks every rule in the NUJ Code of Conduct - indeed I think I shall quote it to my media ethics students on Monday morning. Absolutely shameful stuff.....

CHRISTMAS IN THE WORKHOUSE

At the weekend, I read the sad story of a former journalist who is now dossing on a park bench due to a series of personal misfortunes. I am thankfully a long way from that fate yet, but as a freelance I am also continually at the mercy of people who appreciate my services but don't seem to like shelling out until they absolutely have to .....so currently am owed a couple of thousand pounds with minus money in bank account and a week to go till Christmas. As a result, no presents have been bought and no cards sent but am expecting a couple of cheques in next 24 hours. To be honest I feel like Billy Bunter eternally waiting for his postal order . Even the weekend run to Lidl was paid for on my overdraft. Have just been forced into bursting into tears to resolve one financial logjam. Christmas in the workhouse beckons....thanks to Scrooge employers in the private sector.

GRIM IN GRUB STREET .......

Well, that's the trauma of being 50 over with. Still looks awful in black and white. My thanks to friends for Armani perfume, antique jewellery, gold bracelet, and bottles of wine which along with a jolly curry in Todmorden helped soften the blow. No doubt I will continue to waste money on wrinkle creams and potions because, as every woman knows, we still continue to be seduced by the evils of the cosmetics industry. Even lefties like me.
Ageism also continues to be more of a problem for women than men and from henceforth my CV will be subtly edited . The journalism industry is particularly harsh when it comes to mid-life work opportunities. Most of my contemporaries, however talented, simply get sidelined or kicked out of staff jobs once past 45. So more often than not you have to take what you can get ie hack writing in the interests of paying bills.
Freelances , despite what you may think, are ( especially outside London) often grossly underpaid. Indeed, if I COULD turn back the clock, I doubt I would have gone down the journalism road at all. Still, we are where we are and that means the next few hours will be spent waxing lyrical about the Hat Museum in Stockport. John Pilger, eat your heart out......