Dear friend...

I am so sad that a dear friend and teacher passed away this morning.

Val Ellison

This man literally saved our marriage and changed our lives forever.
He was an increadible teacher. I have never met some one with the ability to touch people's hearts the way he could. He will be greatly missed by the hundreds he has helped in his life. His classes taught us how to be a better people and just plain "do life well". Michael and I are so grateful to have had the opportunity to know him. He is a HUGE contributor to the changes we have made in the past year both personally and as a couple. He was a shining example of service and gave of himself to the very end. We will miss him.

To read more about him you can go to this site...myfox8.tributes.com/show/Val-Ellison-87718174

Almost over

With a hair color and trim

a hair cut

feeding 3 babies

taking a 6 year old to and from school

2 Dr. appointments

3 loads of dishes

4 loads of laundry
a shower while my aunts color was setting:)

1 play pen cover to be made(lets be honest, my mother did that one-THANKS MOMMA)
I didn't have time to pull out the camera yet.
I now get to go do more dishes
more laundry
and make dinner.

Every time I think my week maybe mellow it goes haywire...and I love it.

The adventures of Cage and Aubs...

These two little ladies are just hilarious.
I knew they wouldn't sleep when I put them down for a nap.
I sat and listened to them talking to each other for 45 minutes.
Then Cage just kept crying "auby....AAAUUUUbbbbyyyyyyyy....auby!"
I took her out of the room because Aub fell asleep, but the silly girl still cried for Aubri for 30 minutes.

After the nap I was taking care of Gabe and it got to quiet...
I found them sitting together at the back door of the kitchen sharing a candy or "nanny" they found.
Missed the picture:-(

Their favorite place to play is on the table:-/
It's so cute I let them:)

I have already had everyone who sees them ask if they are twins.And I have learned 4 babies easily fit in my children's room:)


They are so much fun together and Cage is sooo happy to have someone to play with while "laylee" is at school. She's going to be sad when Aubri has to go home.

Upside down.

My world has flipped upside down this week.
The true problem-I knew it was coming and I wasn't prepared.
Not just financially but mentally not prepared.
Financially I tried. I really did and every time I got it going it has to be used:( But I guess that's the point.
I'm trying to stay positive. Negativity will not help accomplish anything.
But it is still scaring the bajeezies out of me.
Just trust in the Lord.
Everything will be fine.
It's okay.
We've been through worse.

In 3's

If this is #1 I'm scared to death for #2 and #3.
If anyone knows of anything I can do to earn some money for my family please let me know:)

I'm optimistic! I'm not just saying that I really am.
I have faith that the Lord knows what is best for me and my family.
We are doing the best we can.

Optimism

I ventured out with my two tiny ones this morning to do my monthly visiting of a few ladies I know:)

I really enjoy visiting and getting to know the people I live around,(it may be because I worked outside the home for so many years) however today was something I haven't experienced before. The lady I go with is going through some hard times right now. As many of us are. She is pregnant and trying to sell her house for more than it is worth to get into a house more suitable for her family. Now her problems seem so small in comparison to some but for her it is affecting everything she does. She did a lot of complaining and you could tell she was having a hard day. Then beyond that she got into an argument with one of the ladies we visit about HOA fees. It was pretty uncomfortable.

In all this I realized I am lucky to have such a good outlook on my life.
We have no idea where we'll be in the next few months.
We also have no idea how we'll make enough money for Michael to go to school and pay our bills. However, I am optimistic about it all.
I know if need be we can fit 4-5 kids in our tiny house.
The bedrooms are big enough and we like being close:)
I know we will be okay regardless of what happens because the Lord knows what's best for us and our family.
I know because we are doing what we should be and striving to be better everyday that everything will work out.
We don't sit back and expect it to work out on it's own...we are trying harder than ever to be self sufficient and self reliant.

I'm just grateful that even though financially times are harder for us than they have ever been, we have been able to still be happy and not let it affect our outlook or our moods.

Am I crazy?

you tell me...

I have
a 6 year old who just seems to get more and more sweet
a 19 month old who is a crazy ball of energy
a 6 month old who is just starting to get mobile
and I want more.

I don't mean in a few years, I mean like in the next year or so. Is this crazy? Have I lost my mind? If they'd let me, I'd hop on a plane and head straight to Haiti! But since they won't I guess the old fashioned way will work:)

We are already going to be SUPER poor with Michael back in school for the next 6 years. We had already decided not to wait 6 years to have more kids. What's a few more kiddos running around, a few more diapers to change, a few more bottles to fill, a few less moments of quiet, a few less dollars in the bank, a few more kids in one room(honestlyI love that our house is so tiny-you have NO choice but to get along+there is no where for these babies to hide). I guess it's something to think about.

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday to my husband.

I love you!!!!

My poor girl :-(

Kailye is definitely very patient with her tiny siblings but the poor girl is a little tired of her gender neutral bedroom. Well I decided it's time to change that.
Her brother is tiny and could care less.
So I'm going to let the girly trinkets throw up all over the kids room.
(I will make a corner of boy)

I'm going to have to enlist the help of my mother but she's usually willing;)

So I was thinking...

...I really enjoy kids. I don't care who's they are. I love them. They are all so cute, so individual.

I watched my sister's kids today and it was so fun. I had a 6 year old, 2 year old, 19 month old, 6 month old, and 2 month old all at once. AND all awake at the same time. They were running, crying, jumping, playing, all over the place and I LOVED it! I think I may not loving watching them as much at someone else's house but mine is so tiny there is nowhere for them to go:-)

The adventure for today...

...the grocery store with 5 kids.
4 of which are 2 and under.
We'll see how it goes:)
Thank goodness the 6 year old is a very helpful girl!

Oh momma

The grief the "stay-at-home-mom" gets...

It makes me sad to have my role down played, as I'm sure it does any mom.

Beyond the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. (Which is a HUGE job all in it's self.)
I am responsible for 3 beautiful children. Not just there welfare but their spiritual growth as well. It is my job to nurture, care for, teach, and pretty simply just LOVE-more than anything else LOVE my children. As soon as this light bulb went off (like anatomic bomb) in my head, everything became more simple.

I almost never get frustrated with them...NO matter what they have done.
I never yell anymore.
I never discipline in anger.
I never let their mood or attitude for that day affect mine.
I wake up to these beautiful babies everyday in awe of the life I have.
They are so sweet, so innocent, so unconditionally loving, so forgiving, so happy, so perfect.

Sometimes it's hard to look past the physical kid and see only the beautiful spirit within them, but as soon as I do I got to see them for their true selves. It amazes me.

My kids don't need stuff, they don't need classes, they don't need the latest and greatest.
It's just stuff!

They need mom and dad.
They need stability.
They need less TV.
They need more books.
They need time to play and explore.
They need to have a relationship with their creator.
They need to color, draw, paint-even if sometimes it is on my walls:)
They need to feel wanted.
They need to feel important.
They need LOVE!

Bliss

I know it sounds so silly but I feel like my life now compared to a year ago, actually compared to anytime other than the present, is just Bliss.

I have learned so much in the past year or so.
I have learned myself.
I have learned to truly love.
I have learned to care.
I have learned to cope.
I have learned to be happy NO MATTER what.
I have learned to be positive NO MATTER what.
I have learned from my past.
I have learned from others pasts.
I have learned everyone deserves a second chance.
I have learned people can change and do.
I have learned to igore EVeRyThINg negative anyone says, No exceptions.
I have learned everyone is a child of God reguardless of mistakes-Are you perfect?
I have learned not to judge.
I have learned no one can offend me unless I let them.
I have learned no one can take advantage of me unless I let them.
I have learned to be accepting.
I have learned life is too short not to keep learning.
I have learned life is too short not to be happy.
I have learned to change the pattern-change the pattern, change the result.
I have learned who I am.
I have learned to be that person.
I have learned so much more.

Just these few things have forever changed my life.
Isn't learning the whole purpose?

Hmm...

As I write I can see an adorable 1 1/2 year old pulling all silverware from the drawer next to the sink and putting it into the sink singing, "diches, diches, methy, methy!!"

While my 6 month old hits the same squeaky toy over and over and over.

That my just about sum up my day.

Oh wait she spotted the cookies. Now she's screaming..."COOOKKKIIIIEEEEESSSSS!!!!!"
Oh I love my chubby little Cage!

Not to much new at our house. We did receive a visit from the Elders President last night asking Michael to be the Secretary. He of course excepted. This really just re-affirms to me that we are doing what we should be:)

Michael has been back to school for a few days and so far seems to be enjoying it. He's a sponge when it comes to education though see I expected it.

Kailye has been doing so great with school. She reads far beyond her grade level and read chapter books like it nothing. I never remember doing that when I was 6. 12 maybe but not 6.

Keija has been enjoying her days ripping apart every square inch of our tiny house when ever she can...she is now ripping ALL the freshly folded laundry off the couch:)

Gabe is getting bigger and bigger everyday. He loves trying to crawl and trying to hold himself up. Although he really just LOVES laughing at his sisters.

I have been avoiding doing the house work, and slacked off with the gym last night. Oh well tomorrow's a new day, now I just have to actually do something with it:)

Now the Cage is putting jammies on now...over her skirt. Oh the mind of a toddler:)

A change.

Not the change I've spoken of in previous posts but to my hair.
From Blonde to Brown...okay actually it went Blonde->Goldish->Greenish->Brown.
I love it!

Limbo?

No not the exciting game where you try your best to contort your body to somehow slide under a pole of some sort with out falling directly on your rump...okay well actually maybe exactly like that.

Michael has decided to go back to school. I am very proud of him for making this decision and whole heartedly support him in it. However there is so much un-answered and so much in limbo.

Michael has been working in real estate for the past year and a half and would really like to continue to do that since the time he will have will be nights and weekends which is fairly conducive to the industry. But he worries about supporting our family.

We feel we may need to move to Salt Lake to be closer to said job, to be more accessible to its gracious employer, cut $500 a month in gas out of the budget, be closer to school, and make it so Michael will see his offspring from time to time with out having to keep them up too late or wake them up at 5am.

So now the worries:

Switching Kk's school part way through the year...this little one will feel the impact of our decisions more than the rest and I pray everyday for her and us to be able to handle it well.

Renting out our house to someone I can trust to take care of it. Technically our house needs to be re-fied to rent it but that's not going to be able to happen.

Finding somewhere affordable to live in Salt lake in a decent neighborhood where we can still keep our dog.

We feel like God has a few more little spirits to loan us and we're trying to figure out when the best time to bring them here...Studying for M-CAT and interviewing with med schools will consume all spare seconds of my other half and I'd really like him to be here for the birth of his children:) Also it would be better to have said babies while we know we will still be in Utah where there is family to help with the rest of the crew. So that leaves us 2 years-ish?!?

Not to mention the massive amounts of debt we are going to acrew in the next 6-11 years AND that this is going to take 6-11 years.

The Great news:

When all is said and done I will have a VERy happy Hubby, a 15-18 year old!!!!, 2 preteens, and likey 2 more in elementary school:-O. Are we crazy?! Okay I know we are not. I know this is part of the plan God has for us and I feel 100% confident that all will work out the way He sees fit. I'm just staying positive and trusting in the Lord.

Michael is doing this for ALL the right reasons. yes, he wants to be able to comfortably support his family, but all he can talk about is how many people he can help and how much more he'll be able to do for those who are in need. I'm just in awe of this man I married and the incredible person he is.

I am SO grateful for a husband that has learned to respect his priesthood calling and to trust in the Lord in all things. I am grateful he is SO dedicated and very much a student of Christ. We have been through A LOT!! in the past year in our personal lives and I am glad we have both come out better people for it. I know I can lean on him for eVEryThINg and he will support me in every decision I make. I'm grateful he doesn't choose to waste his time here on this earth and he tries to work on himself every chance he gets. He makes me want to try harder, do better, and just BE better. I've said it before and I'll say it again...

My husband has become the man I didn't know I wanted to marry.

Michael and I have watched each other "grow up" in the past year. We have learned together and I hope we can continue to do so everyday of our lives together.

New year!

New year's Eve

Babies in bed at 8
Games with the 6 year old & in bed at 10
Cafe Rio for the grown ups
Michael & I watched Movies...Which he paused at midnight to give me a kiss.
Perfection for this momma of 3 & my soon-to-be EXTREMELy busy Hubby.

We enjoyed the long holiday weekend visiting family and seeing a movie or two.
We got our sleeping schedules back on track in time for 9 am church Sunday.
Then we stayed up until 3 am last night talking.
It is only 4 pm & I am feeling it already but I am still not going to miss the gym tonight.

I didn't make going to the gym one of my resolutions for the year, those were all more spiritually based, but I have found a way to love it. A good friend or family member and I am set:)