just came back from blading...and had a bath...called 'jolene' when i reached east coast cos they having a bbq today, but turned out to be natalie...ha, long story. so went to meet her and saw a few cchs choir ppl. oni toked to wei lie and nat...hai...saw the others like dunnoe them like that...feel so sad that i cant really click with ppl easily. really want to join choir next sem...but one thing is that, not sure whether i can cope and manage the time, the other is dun noe whether i can click with the ppl. my best choir days was in tpjc where i met a bunch of really friendly ppl, they brighten up my jc days...really thank God for them.actually, its partly bcos of this guy whom i liked that i joined choir...he's the friendliest of all guys i have met...no motives or watsoever in getting to know a person,esp a girl, sincere and nice. he has the loudest of all laughter and the charmingest of all smiles...thnak God for him that i came to know Christ.i missed the choir days when we all go out for dinner after choir practice on friday. we would buy dinner to the pavillion and eat there, then hav a game of basketball until abt ten b4 we head home.enjoyed playing basketball with them.and also the choir rehearsals for concerts and musicals....so fun...and of course the indescribable feeling of performing on stage, singing wonderfully in parts and feel the resonance when all parts blend beautifully...missed those times...now, in nus...my life is so stangnant, no colour, no excitement...always feeling nostalgic after every good musical performance i watched. would i experience this if i really joined the choir in nus? really hope so...

went out with barb today...to catch up. went seoul garden then shopping. want to buy so many things but no $$...how nice it wld be if money grows in my wallet...want to buy levi's skirt, jeans, digicam,mp3 player, lotsa clothes and the list goes on...oni window shopping.

i sort of like xiang3 tong1 le...but everytime i thot i did, it'll be different whne i see both of them at the same time...hai..it's not i want but wat to do, my heart is not listening to my mind.

have to work tmr...dun mind staying on but i dun really fancy the boss...doesn't communicate with us.

i had a very incredible bible study lesson today...it's on solitude and practising the 'search me' prayer. We had to find a comfortable spot in church(went to my fav spot as usual, the front porch of charis) to go into solitude with God and practise the search me prayer.i thot i would have a difficult time hearing God but God worked in mysterious and funny ways...i easily Got into the 'mood', into God's presence as i meditate on psalms 139 and God impressed verse 13-16 on me. It's not as if i wasn't aware of the msg but God revealed beyond that and comforted me of feeling lousy about myself, about my life...about God's unfairness. He told me that he understands me, he knows me even before i was made and loves me more than anyone else. i am special in His sight.i was touched and i wept...
when the whole bs group came together after the solitude session, we toked about our prayer experience and wat God revealed to us...we prayed, and like wat the sunday sermon was about, the holy spirit came to us as we gathered...i prayed in tongues like never b4....really, i was shocked myself...we sang in the spirit and judy started the song "The Steadfast Love", i wept as i sang...God was really there and i'm really touched...God also made me realise smth during then: i've always thot that i'm fully transparent before God regarding my everything and wholy relied on Him in watever situations but God said not everything...i sometimes feel tht i dont have the ability to do something and i'll pray to God...but with the wrong attitude...there's still doubt and lack of faith.
so now, i am to change my ways to suit His, but it's not going to be easy and instantaneous...but at least God revived, refreshed and restored me today...