Merry Christmas!

anyway I've been so busy this season that I've neglected my dear friends and family. it's not too late to extend my love and best wishes to all now. christmas has 12 days rite? haha. merry christmas to all my dear friends! especially delvina, i've really neglected u! sorry for being so busy. and all the co-laborers, serving the Lord doesnt have to be so lonely. my ZS bro paul and VL andrew, the whole PC zone - esp to my co-N13 fighter YunRui (47 KIDS!). my dearest Cg, sis meiyan, mingli, ailing, terrence, maoshun, sharon, huimin (thanks for the candle), louis, rudy, joseph, MX, cheewei, elsie, annie, victoria. too many to name! and dear Guen, we will catch up before i start school! i wanna appreciate everyone! love u all to bits.

ok i'll be away in malaysia with my family from 26-28dec. feel a bit reluctant to go.. i'm so tired! but well, shall go enjoy myself.

alright bye and have an enjoyable enjoyable season!

sometimes it amazes me why people do the things they do. like close all the curtains and switch on the lights; when u can open the curtains and let the sunlight in. it annoys me. messy and unorganized people annoy me too. and the sound of girlish gossiping babble makes me cringe.

wad a hectic week it has been! i'm totally zapped off of all my energy, emotionally and physically. perhaps not entirely cos i still have some left for blogging. haha..

yesterday was joyce's 21st bday celebration.

old E195 was entertaining ourselves by taking lame pics.







all i want for christmas is...

joyce with the jacket we bought for her

a few of the pictures we took. haha.. huifang was saying we have all grown. that's true! i've been with the old E195 people since 14. see how time flies? next year will be the other 4's 21st. then the following is mine. i feel old! bro bing hwa asked me today if i was in uni now. and he said 'ni lao le.'

i think today's msg on the light of christmas was really timely. my dark days of distress! argh. well i always find that christmas is stressful. but that wont rob my joy for the season!

think i shall end here. goodnight!

Psalm 73:25-26
Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

A new season means hard work! i need to expand my capacity. new demands, new responsibilities. sometimes i wonder if i am too 'nua'. keep praying for a breakthrough!

anyway i went to sungei buloh with ailing, jinhui and marcus today. quite enjoyable. a lot of funny creatures and bugs. tiring though, and my legs were bitten by many mozzies even when i'm sprayed down with insect repellent. i'm exhausted.. hope the new friend comes back to join us!

More pictures here

I would love this book for Christmas! :)

Wad an eventful week it has been. i went to expo 5 times this week.. tue, wed, fri, sat, sun. helped out in the moving of equipment for cch. Sat was a busy day for me, busing kids from AMK to Jurong West, then back, and rushing to expo for cch service in the evening. extremely tired at the end of the day.. thank God for His strength! expo is huge, 7000 seater. vast, but the presence of God is not diluted.

Alright, i really wanna read the book above! an interesting followup on what Pst Kong preached today. on our hearts and fear.

Human behavior is not just the result of your brain, it comes from the heart.

Just like the brain processes information, so does the heart.

Just like the brain has memory, so does the heart. The heart remembers by recording emotions with the event.

You can reason something in your mind but the heart can overrule it.

Fear is the first emotion experienced by man after he sinned.

Fear is the chief emotion used by satan to rob you of the potential inside of you.

Fear paralyzes you. Fear attracts the very thing you fear.

Fear makes it easy to blame others for your own failure.

Perfect love casts out all fear!

moving on to something greater. can't believe 4 years at Jurong west has flew by! today was our finale service at JW st 91. pastor kong said, 2 groups of people would be very happy wherever we go. the hawkers and taxi drivers. how true!

the last lap is usually hardest to run.

I just got home. met up with guen who's back from australia! thanks gal for your gifts. :) i especially love the green studs! i went to j8 to meet her, realised how much the place has changed. then we went to catch up at starbucks. followed by dinner with my jc friends at suntec marche. shared a jumbo sausage and wedges with guen. salty, but nice!

my relatives from malaysia are here. so far, 2 families have joined us in the span of 1 month! ya know why? cos AirAsia now flies direct from Miri to Johor, so it's cheaper to come to Singapore. heh. they'd be leaving tmr. i've been spending my time after exams showing them arnd. brought them to walk around the city and they slept 12 hrs the next day. totally knocked out! cos M'sian folks drive around a lot, unlike urban folks.

yesterday i was talking to terrence yong ke yi on the way home after cg. prefer calling him ke yi. we were reminiscing how we got to know each other 6 years ago. it was thru IRC (Internet Relay Chat). do kids still do that nowadays? then we didn't realised we were actually in the same cg til one day he heard someone calling my name. haha!

so we were mulling over the things to come. multiplication, move to expo. well i think it's new opportunities, new seasons. about taking it in your stride. i remember the same time last year in 2004. w263 just multiplied to w311. then some people were encouraging me to rise up to cg leadership. pst yk even asked when am i gonna be a cgl. but somehow, that din come to pass. i myself even wondered, could this be my time? but God had other plans, and in the course of the year, many things took place. of cos, i could have sat there and be disappointed at why God passed me by, why was a carrot dangled at my nose and removed. God's timing is always perfect. i realised i was still very incompetent. the vessel still had to go through moulding and fire. and wonderful doors of learning came. i attended SWAT, and i grew thru this course like nv before. i was also given a chance to serve as transport leader. taught bible lessons in the bus, conducted games, learnt how to contain rowdy crowds, capacity for overwhelming kids. training training! initial discouragement but now great great appreciation to wad God has brought me thru. journeys are nv wasted. be willing to submit to God's moulding.

and so, i turned to ke yi and asked, 'if we were sitting at the same bus stop in 3 years time, how do u think we wld be?' he told me, 'we might not be together in the same cg, but we wld be in the same meeting.' i replied, 'yeah! leaders' meeting!'. God has given me a vision. it tarries, but it will come to pass! give me the grace to be steadfast to what i have been called for.

so i end with a snippet of my conversation with my long time friend. keep on keeping on! good night :)

It's the 1st day of the last month of 2005. finally done with my exams, and caught Harry Potter! it was a little frightening and draggy. In 31 days, 2005 will be history while we welcome the start of a brand new year. 2006, what new things will it bring?

God has been comforting me through a beautiful song:

I HAVE FOUND EXCEEDING JOY
JESUS ANSWERED WHEN I CALLED
HIS NAME THAT HAS SAVED ME
PURE LOVE THAT EMBRACED ME

MERCY, GRACE, ETERNAL LIFE
BOUGHT FROM DARKNESS TO HIS LIGHT
WHILE LOST IN MY SIN HE RAISED ME
AND MADE ME LIVE

MY SOUL MAGNIFIES THE LORD
MY HEART JOYS IN GOD MY SAVIOUR
FOR HE LIFTS THE LOWLY
HE'S DONE GREAT THINGS FOR ME
I WILL SING, PRAISING EVERMORE
HE IS MIGHTY AND HOLY IS HIS NAME

I WILL LIFT MY HEAD UP HIGH
PRAISING JESUS THROUGH EACH TRIAL
THOUGH I HAVE NOT SEEN HIM
I LOVE HIM COMPLETELY

Rom 8:37 'Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.' I will rise above my emotions and circumstances! Amen!

my 2nd post for the day.

just felt like saying something. pls respect people's private space! just got reminded of wad my CNM lecturer said. In USA, people value private space a lot. like it's rude to walk between a person (who is choosing a box of cereal) and the shelf. everyone has a private sphere.

got quite peeved by a particular person today in the library. who crossed his leg and let it dangle right in front of me! and i felt so uncomfortable cos i was constrained in my movement. don't invade my private space!

if solitaire's the only game in town, i'll gladly play it.

anyway, just wanna give a shout out to ailing and jinhui. thanks for your advices and confidences!

i'm blogging from the central library now. studying for my last paper tmr. southeast asia. my most dreaded subject.

i saw a christmas tree at the forum co-op just now. everytime christmas approaches, i always get an unsettling feeling. not very sure how to describe it. mixture of excitement, jitters, overwhelming feelings. i guess it's because of the expectation of the magnitude of things which are about to come. just know that i need to expand myself to rise above situations.

yesterday when i was on the train, i heard a gal beside me lamenting over her handphone. "why is it that people whom i wish could care more for me do not, and people whom i don't have feelings for care for me." and there's the saying that goes, it's better to be loved than to love. wonder how true that is. set me thinking a bit about relationships.

for me, i believe that every man has a rib to find, and every woman has a ribcage to fit. the ultimate soul mate does exist.

alright enough rant. back to my 'darling' SEA.

Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath my feet, the earth is ready
I know its time for heaven's rain, it's gonna rain
It's gonna rain, again

Cos it's living water we desire
To flood out hearts with holy fire
Rain down all around the world we're singing
Rain down can you here the earth is singing
Rain down my heart is dry but still I'm singing
Rain down rain it down on me.

Back to the start, my heart is heavy
Feels like it's time, to dream again
I see the clouds, and yes I'm ready
To dance upon this barren land

Hope in my hands

Do not shut, Do not shut,
Do not shut the heavens
But open up, open up, open up our hearts

Give me strength to cross the water
Keep my heart upon your altar
Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my feet don't let me falter

i'm here to blog a bit before i go to sleep. jus completed a past EL paper. think i still have a long way to go.

today was the last lesson of SWAT. a very powerful meeting! pastor and the zone sups prayed for us, and prophesised over our lives. for me, it was really accurate and impactful.

"i see a crown on your head, a crown of wisdom. wisdom that surpasses your peers. i see your family having struggles, but God will use you in the midst of this situation. i see a dove, just like the one sent out by noah to bring glad tidings. it cant find a nesting, and cant seem to fit into a nesting. but God asks it to continue to soar, just soar, He says. God is well pleased, that you have chosen Him over the things of the world. speaking from Jeremiah, do not despise your youth."

wow! hope i live up to these things. i need to internalize every single word spoken and keep it close to my heart.

i enjoyed the weekend service thoroughly. pst kong's sermons are really going from glory to glory! FOCUS. i'm gonna embark on a massive self-evaluation after my exams. think about my strength, and build on my distinctive and my revelation! wad am i single-minded about? feel like i've probably been double-minded abt many matters for a long time. it's about now to breakthrough!

i liked wad pastor said about our lives being too short to waste it on pursuing things that are not of our life assignments. i think it is true that at some points of my life, i have many times lost focus. it's never too late to make amendments! now i shall steer the focus of my life back on track. no forms of distractions or pains can come hinder me! :)

how can i ignore the calling of my life?

well i have recognised the season for my life right now. it is definitely not something i had in mind, but i believe God's plans are greater than mine! my future is secure in His hands.

God is no respecter of persons! let me always remember to walk in humility and have a contrite spirit before You. not my will but Yours!

time for bed and a chat with the lover of my soul.

one down, four to go.

today's philosophy was brain draining. seriously, i dunno wad to expect. the answers aren't really clear cut. i just hope for the best. but no regrets taking this module though, managed to pick up some skills in deciphering things.

moving on to complete the rest of my readings. i hope i don't do too badly for my 1st semester..

been attending the tabernacle study for the past 3 weeks. God is such a precised God! too many things to share about now. (pressed for time! blogging to destress) hmm i realise i always have lots of thoughts in my mind on wad i wanna write here. but when it comes to typing them down, i have difficulty! haha.. perhaps i'm just bad at expressing certain things.

let me find my place.

is this where You want me to be?

give me another confirmation.

my week was quite eventful. relatives from malaysia are here, and it's their 1st time in singapore. they said people in singapore walk very fast.

my father bought me a dell laptop! inspiron 700m. haha, like finally i have my own.

there are many things i wanna say, many exciting things coming up, beautiful things to appreciate.

greatly refreshed during service today. i just wept and wept. no greater love compares! a simple desire; a contrite heart; a burning passion. reminded me of the book, 'heavenly man'. it's a very good and life changing read.

went for the cch meeting abt our move to expo. i was totally blown away. talk abt christians being relevant to society! God is indeed doing a new work.

Isaiah 43:19 'Behold, I will do a new thing. Now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.'

I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!

I saw this in my sister's blog:

hmm...
sometimes i wonder.
its really important to bond with friends.
whether it be class friends or normal friends.
cause we never know when we might need them.
i dont think its nice to 'boo' or 'dao' ppl.
let it be even if u dislike them.
how would you feel if ppl do that to you?
friends come and go.
so just take it easy when it comes to friendship.
its good to have best or good friends.
and its important to have someone u can turn to and stuff.
however sometimes ppl backstab u.
man i hate those suckers.

hai... so how???
be comforted in the fact that there is a God up there.
One who would listen to u.
One who would always be there no matter what.
One who is your Heavenly Father.
One who is your best friend.
One who cares and looks after you.
He can be yours. if you accept Him.
He is none other than Jesus Christ.
think! sometimes do u wonder if there is a God up there?
look around you, trees, building, rivers, lakes, sun, stars, planets.... etc
the planning of what time the sun will rise.
the facts like the, earth spinning round the sun;
why light travels in a straight line;
there out to be someone who has done all this.
there is a God.and only 1 God.
no offence to any religion or race.
but don't you think worshiping a statue is kind of weird?
it has no life and doesnt reply to you.
i repeat... no offence.
but if u accpet christ, you will be able to hear god talking to you.
Christianity is NOT a religion. its a relationship/friendship with God.
yeah... anyway its still your decision whether you wish to convert.
Its not my choice.

This is pure, genuiene, innocent love for Jesus. Come to Jesus today, He cares for you.

SWAT outing
@ Settler's Cafe on Deepavali. :)

Your Birthdate: July 8

Born on the 8th day of the month, you have a special gift for business, as you can conceive and plan on a grand scale. You have good executive skills and you're a good judge of values. You should try to own your own business, because you have such a strong desire to be in control. You are generally reliable when it comes to handling money; you can be trusted in this regard. Idealistic by nature, you are never too busy to spend some time on worthwhile causes, especially if managerial support are needed. There is much potential for material success associated with this number.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Here I am, doing silly personality quizzes again. A bit moody from frustrations of academic work, so decided to do wad i enjoy - blogging! Well, last week was murder for me. I was feeling brain dead from the seemingly endless number of essays I had to do. Lack of sleep, lack of exercise. The hurdle is almost passed.. This week will be full gear in preparing for my exams. Catching up on readings, webcasts etc. Today is the last day of October. Tomorrow will be November. 18 days to my first paper, 29 days to my last paper. Time is not on my side. :(

SWAT is coming to an end. We are left with one lesson! happy thing or sad thing? haha.. actually I feel that this batch is super united. We are playing Angel and Mortal, we meet online to discuss assignments, go for dinner, plan outing. I don't feel a single bit of isolation! I think it's so important to be around great personalities. Pst Robb came this weekend to teach us about relationships. Doesn't it speak out loud? Show me your friends and I can determine what kind of person you are. I want to press into people who will edify me. I want to be a 10 myself, to attract 10s.

Yesterday Pst Eileen said something which really struck me. 'You all are old.' Yes, I do feel old. I wonder what I've done with 19 years of my life. do I already have a clear idea of my future? No. I feel like I'm still wandering. A girl who doesn't yet know what she wants, doesn't yet have a clear vision. Self-discovery, how long is it going to take? My desires keep changing. But through it all, I'm thankful that I have a God who holds me hands. Wasted years and opportunities. His grace is sufficient for me. I will stand firm and seek Him for my purpose.

One Life, Live It. --M1.

The weekend's here again. it's COTM this week, so i can take a breather and spend more time on my projects and essays. so far i've gotten back a few reports and tests, my grades are hanging around B.

went for overnight prayer meeting yesterday and i never regretted going. in fact all the sessions are just so refreshing. sometimes it seems like eternity, bcos cares of time are just left aside, and u can enjoy the liberty of worship.

God is good all the time, this i can never fail to testify. at times when i don't see His hand, i can trust His heart. and i know that He can show Himself true to me. was feeling quite troubled recently bcos of the essays and projects due, not to mention the fact that exams are in less than a month. to add on, i lost my cash card. argh! is it very trivial? but God cares about the small things of our lives too. a friend gave me his later in the day.

and my dear philosophy essay.. i took about 6 hours reading barry stroud, websites on matrix and scepticism on the world, just to digest and think of ideas for my paper. to my dismay, i've gathered nothing much. i think God somehow knows my struggle. my tutor came up with alternative questions which is something i definitely can attempt well, and gave a VERY generous extension to our deadline. (which i shall not reveal here, but i have a weekend more)

wow u see, He hears my prayers and knows my needs. 1 Pet 5:7 'casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.'

Rev 12:11 'And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.'

I will have greaeter faith! well i need to seek directions regarding certain matters. Pray Pray Pray!

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Thanks ailing for reminding me.

Okay, this is a very interesting observation that i made. Last Friday, i was walking along the Arts corridor with ailing and justin, when we saw someone (male gender to be specific) that we knew. That someone saw justin first, and bade him with a nod. then he saw me, and waved at me with a really warm and broad smile. pls assume here that we both have the same degree of friendship with that guy. the difference in greeting left us quite baffled! so as bo liao arts students (who like to analyse a lot), we concluded that to girls, we tend to be more friendly, but with guys, we tend to be less friendly; just a brief acknowledgement will do. and so justin remarked: 'You girls! Guys are more friendly to you, Girls are also more friendly to you. What is this!'.

Conclusion: Girls are nicer, isn't that a well-known fact?

Haha, open thread for discussion, no discrimination here alright. ;)

just had EL test 2. hmm, it was quite okay, i think.

today the lecture hall was cooler than usual. i saw my friend rubbing his forehead furiously.. intrigued, i asked wad for? he said to warm up his brain so that he wont feel sleepy. i learnt something new today. i also learnt that mosquitoes are called mozzies. (pls dont call me wols) do u know umbrella is also known as brolly?

anyway.. at present, i have this sudden compulsion to write a story. not now, when 3 essays and a project are waiting for me to pour my juice on. hopefully i'll still have the inspiration after my exams.

i blogthinged again.

Slow and Steady (wins the race, hahaha..)

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

do people really see me this way? hmm..

The Phoenix Principle

A man is sitting on his porch in Kentucky.
He's just retired from the post office.
His first Social Security check arrives.
He's very, very discouraged.
He thinks, "Is this my life now - sitting on the porch waiting for my check?"
He made a list of all the blessings and capacities he had.
The list was long.
In the list was his mother's recipe for fried chicken.
It used eleven different herbs and spices.
He went to a nearby restaurant and asked if he could cook the chicken.
It soon became the most popular item on the menu.
So he opened his own restaurant, then others, then a string of restaurants.
Eventually Harland Sanders sold the Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise across all of America.

a beginning of something new, doesnt everyone crave for it?

I really should be doing more productive stuff.

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

You Are Chinese Food

Exotic yet ordinary. People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

What Kind of Food Are You?

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

A testimony from andrew:

Praise the Lord, O my soul praise the Lord for His faithfulness that endures forever. God has been so very good to me this Children's Day. my group hit my target of total attendance of 70. don't ask me how, i've no idea. i believe its the memorial offering we gave during the super short and wonderful cell group on "attitude". unless God move on the behalf of man, the labourers labour in vain, and thank God that i'm able to be part of this lives changing team. i've backsliders who came back and brought 3 friends along, newcomers who are so enthu to come again despite the long wait, helpers who are willing to go the extra mile taking ownership of the kids and leaders who fought the good fight together. 1Cor 3:6 says "i(Paul) planted, Apollos watered but God gave the increase." the battle is not over yet, now that the children have came in.. the next battle is to keep them in. but for now... rejoice..

"silver and gold i do not have
what i have is in Your hands
use me O Lord this i pray
to make a difference in this land
70 kids You brought them in
helpers who stood and fought with me
part of this team is a dream
there is You and there is me
all the glory to God's name
Jesus my Lord, praise Your name"

another week has hurried by. i feel like i'm being dragged along the bustle of life..

been pretty sick the past week, down with fever, sore throat and flu. more or less recovered now.

PC310 managed to hit target for the children's big day, which is 70. it's really an amazing feat, considering there were only 20plus regulars plus a handful of backsliders to work on. to others it might just be a figure, but it's so tangible to me. when u plow, saturate, visit, fast, desire it so badly, and God comes true for you, it's just so exhilarating.

I had to visit the newcomers without andrew on thur cos he was very very sick. it's a different experience when u step into the shoes of a leader. armed with my greatest Helper and a street directory, i wrote down the addresses in order of distance, bus timings on flyers, and prayed prayed prayed. it was a big task to me, cos it concerned retention of souls. i was also feeling sick myself, but God provides strength to His servants. thank God that the response from the NCs were good! abt 13 out of the 21 i visited were confirm coming back.

which brings me to mention that bcos of the growing size of our group, andrew has split the group into 2 parts and asked me to take half of it, consisting of 33 kids. of cos he will still oversee the whole group. i dont wish to be intimidated by this. one thing abt me is that i am very afraid of not living up to God's and man's expectations. i hope to do my best and not let His kingdom down. enlarge my capacity, for such a time as this.

in the past i was always thinking abt when my time will come. when will i truly be able to experience the breakthrough i desire. u know, now i wanna think about when God's timing is for my life. when will i experience wad He desires for me. the revelation of recognising my season and seizing the moment has never been clearer. i will rejoice, for i know the season You have planned for me!

haha, finally, i wanna say that my studies is a subject to change.

Psalm 93:4 'The Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters, than the mighty waves of the sea.'
No noise will draw me from You, i exalt Your sovereignty.

I kinda miss my long hair. miss being able to twirl my fingers in my hair, miss tying it up, miss looking at my reflection with my tresses, miss it very much. today somebody asked me if something happened that led to me cutting my hair short, u know all that stuff abt if a girl cuts her hair means she went thru some major breakup crisis.. actually.... nothing happened la. just got irritated with the weather one day and decided to chop my hair off.

Eccl 3:1 'To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.'

Powerful word today. i feel so encouraged. i'm stirred in my spirit. something great is about to explode! it's great to be a part of wad God is doing. The children's big day is so amazing! haha.. Bro paul just msged me the final attendance and decisions. it's above and beyond! PTL! and delvina, i'm glad i'm a part of this too. i've never worked so hard for something before! now i understand the true meaning of taking ownership. my week was really stretching. all in all, God came true for us!

Do not spare! Lengthen your cord, strengthen your stakes. DO NOT SPARE!

you are threading on a thin line. snap out of it. cos God's hands are beneath to catch you.

Saturday's approaching! haha.. well it's children's day in case u din know.

anyways wad a hectic week it has been! i'm feeling very tired now. nvm, warfare's not everytime and i'm happy to be enlisted :) let the 7000 come above and beyond!

how now brown cow? (so chessy rite) i really dislike my southeast asia module. needless to say, i've never had a thing for history. sighs.. i really dont enjoy studying it. dreadful! and i hv absolutely no interest in anything for my research topic. jiu ming!

colonial rule? no colonial rule? me no roots how?

pardon me for being random. can u imagine, i'm reading my brother's o level history text to get inspiration.

why do i even blog so much abt SEA.

as i always say, unpleasant things aside please. ok enough talk. let me leave u with a few nice things, motivational at least to me.

Amateurs built the Ark, professionals built Titanic.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

3 months left of the year, did u realise? make it or break it.

goodnight! hold my hand.

An eventful week.

It's Friday again. i didn't feel like i had much of a term break, guess that's how most people feel. remember i was contemplating on going for a dive trip. good thing i didn't go! if not there'd be a mountain of work waiting for my return. haha..

Well i've completed my home visits. it was a good exposure to the social work scene for me. i was especially touched by the dedication of the principal in Guillemard Gardens School for the intellectually disabled. most likely going there to volunteer my services.

Then i went to the ACM with faisal. it was kinda dark and creepy. dont really enjoy museum visits. felt slightly bored too.

It has been a week of saturation, callings, visitations too! cos Children's Day is coming!

I got a hair cut foc, gonna get my hair coloured, plus free movie passes to April Snow!

Count your blessings, name them one by one. :)

Let me hold your hand

Happy mid autumn festival!

I've came up with my ph paper outline. seriously i'm very confused about this whole topic. I mean seriously, if u r just a normal person, with average understanding (probably someone like me, haha) would u make any sense of this?!! perhaps u wld..

In Euthyphro, the question is posed: ought a son to prosecute a father? This is an instance of a general puzzle: under what circumstances is it acceptable to play favorites to those closest to us? The novelist E. M. Forster once wrote: "If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country." Some people find that thought revolting, some people find it very warm and human, some think it's meaningless (because we need to know more facts about the case.) In general, most of us will find it obvious that there are cases in which we have a duty to regard all people, impersonally, as equals; and there will be other cases in which it is obvious that we have a duty to regard some people as more entitled to our concern and attention and so forth. Write a paper in which you state and defend the best possible PRINCIPLE you can formulate for resolving problems of this sort. (Obviously good principles will be clear, have independent plausibility, and produce acceptable results over as wide a range of cases as possible.)

lets put unpleasant things aside for awhile.

i had a good talk with andrew just now. thanks for encouraging me, i've really come to appreciate your leadership. i'm happy serving u. :)

i wanna shout, God is amazing!

u know, i never fail to be in awe of His hand moving in my life. Let me ride on Your anointing and love everyday of my life.

Jesus is great!, i wanna shout.

I'll be your candle on the water, my love for you will always burn.

I just had my EL test. it was quite enjoyable to do! haha.. i hv never found any test enjoyable except for maybe national education tests in primary school.

Next week will be my mid-term break. Mon - Thu to be exact. wonder why cant they just throw in Fri as well. these are the things i hv set out to accomplish:

Mon: Visit to Asian Civilisation Museum
Tue: Visit to disability school
Wed: Visit to family service centre
Thu: Most likely studying in school

Papers due: ACM report, Philosophy Term Essay, EL Project

Consistency is what i need! Hopefully i'd be able to catch up on my readings.

Ripped this from delvina's blog.

Try this test! http://tests.studentcenter.org/jealousytest.php

My results:

You are 28.57% jealous!
For this test, the average jealousy percentage is 35.54%.
310546 people have taken this test to date.

This percentage means that :
•You have very few jealous traits.
•You rarely over-react and have a handle on the severity of situations.
•Whatever jealous attributes you do have will not present a problem in relationships, and will sometimes help.

Quite interesting.. well i'd prefer to discuss if there's something i don't like, rather than speculate. getting jealous just takes too much energy. haha..

Got home not long ago from pc pm. can foresee the next few weeks til children's day will be busy.

anyway just wanna say i'm loving life! God has really blessed me with a great company of friends. :)

roc attitude? nah, not really... heh

Yesterday i was reminded to hold strong to the vision God has placed in my heart. also to love the way i'm created, as a unique individual. i just want to be overwhelmed in Your love. to be truly, myself.

Ps 37:7 'Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way...'

i will hold on. You've brought me through so much.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end
They are new every morning, new every morning
Great is thy faithfulness
Your grace is sufficient for me!

truly me, truly huiling. :)

Today's swat session was challenging!

we had prayer meeting with pastor. she would open the prayer, and in 10 seconds someone has to continue the prayer if not we have to start from the beginning again. also, each point had to be backed up with a scripture, if not she would stop u and restart. nerve wrecking! gotta start building up on scriptural knowledge. think it's a really good way to pray when u back it up with the bible.

after that, went for dinner with shuling, jinhui, simon and alex at meridian. quite a hilarious time, considering the random topics we were discussing. like why do girls wear mini skirts and why is it not acceptable for guys to hold hands, etc.

i didn't log into the philosophy page and realised quite a bit had been going on. the term paper topic is out, and i'm still clueless. it's due 28 sep which is in 3 weeks! argh! need to fulfill 3 blogging posts requirement. quite a few reports due soon.. many readings to catch up on. i need strength and wisdom!

Happy Teacher's Day!

do u know that it's teacher's day today? yesterday when i went for visitation, the last kid i visited actually surprised us with a gift. how sweet and thoughtful. i feel very blessed to be serving God in this ministry. seriously, the kids never fail to amaze me. esp those on N13. i enjoy every single bus trip with these kids.

i need to keep myself positive. deleted a negative post. been thinking a lot recently, too much for comfort. it's really true that we create problems for ourselves. haha. and no one will distract my walk with Him.

attended prayer meeting on Tue night, felt a godly burden from the Lord about my school. wonder how and dont know how. all i know is i wanna be led, so i dont labour in vain.

i met sis mingli and ailing for lunch today. i love fellowshipping with them! :) so glad God has placed them in my life. He gives wonderful people to build us up.

tutorial was interesting today. we studied privacy, and i realised the culture in US and S'pore is really very different. i shall not elaborate further, lest i rant on never ending.

ok, back to Meno and Socrates. leaving you with a thought, what is a chair?

goodnight!

august is coming to an end. it's already week 4 of school term, but i still feel very very fresh. people keep posting questions on the forum, i just dunno wad to ask.

the weekend passed was service with pastor ulf. his ministering is wonderful, and i never wanna take for granted all the food my church has been giving us. if the leaders are concerned about our growth, the more we should be. i was really refreshed during cg and service. nice to feel God's touch again.

currently i'm building myself up in the Word. it's just like a treasure chest, filled with promises. whenever i feel down/up/left/right i will turn there for a word of encouragement and affirmation. it's just so amazing! i dunno wad to say, but i've got a new found hunger for His word. i downloaded an online bible, where i can locate verses easily by typing key words. His word is just so awesome! i dunno how else to say.

Rom 8:1 'There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.'

A leader without courage is a leader without leadership.
Amazingly, for leaders, courage prevails over wisdom.
David and Goliath.
The strong persist through discouragement.
They pursue even when their heart flags.
Personal faith is absolutely essential for the leader.
Failure is not final!
Whether we get up again will render the failure final or not.
High visionary leaders require the failure, final or not.
High visionary leaders require high-level encouragement.
Learn to encourage yourself.
Develop relationships with encouraging people.
Remove unnecessary discouraging influences from your life.
Let everything be done to build up your spirit.
Watch, read and listen to what builds you up.
God moves through people of courage.

only happy thoughts are allowed here. :)

i'm back to reflect on how my life has been the past few days. i always feel that once wednesday comes, it's time the pace hastens. monday will be an easier time, then the whole cycle repeats again. sometimes i wonder if i'm running, running and unsure of where i'm heading. hmm..

so far tutorials are alright, managed to not feel so out of place, make new friends, form groups. actually university life is quite okay so far for me. time to catch up on my readings.

delvina i cant wait to meet u on Tuesday!

I'm pro 2nd chances, He gave first :)

I'm comin' home, I've done my time
Now I've got to know what is and isn't mine
If you received my letter telling you I'd soon be free
Then you'll know just what to do
If you still want me
If you still want me

Whoa, tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree
It's been three long years
Do ya still want me?
If I don't see a ribbon round the old oak tree
I'll stay on the bus
Forget about us
Put the blame on me
If I don't see a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree

Bus driver, please look for me
'cause I couldn't bear to see what I might see
I'm really still in prison
And my love, she holds the key
A simple yellow ribbon's what I need to set me free
I wrote and told her please

Whoa, tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree
It's been three long years
Do ya still want me?
If I don't see a ribbon round the old oak tree
I'll stay on the bus
Forget about us
Put the blame on me
If I don't see a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree

Now the whole damned bus is cheerin'
And I can't believe I see
A hundred yellow ribbons round the old oak tree

I'm comin' home

is this tabby cute? i found it in my camera, believe to have been taken when i went to langkawi in june. haha.. i just love small kittens and puppies. makes my heart melt.

today is my free day, spent my time at home trying to do some readings. but i just cant sit still. wanted to go for a swim but it was pouring outside. cold too.

recently my mind has been clouded with thoughts on what i really wanna do in future, after graduating from university, what's next? what my passion and interests really are. argh frustrating i tell u. sometimes i feel i think too much! to an extent that even after i've made up my mind on something i still will consider what if. bad bad, i gotta learn to be more decisive and solid!

anyway putting that aside, service on Sunday was great! i love it when sy rogers come. he brings messages in a new light, and relates spiritual things in context with physical. and he's not afraid to tell taboo stuff, or things we will never think of in our faces. blessed by his ministering. self worth is sometimes greatly lacking in our lives.

i enjoyed the swat session with pst eileen too. brought all of us back to the basics of leadership, that is to shepherd and teach. we get caught up in the administration, planning so well that we miss the gist of it all. it's so fulfilling each week when i'm on the bus speaking to the kids and they respond to God's word.

so many things in mind! time to get my clutter sorted, focus and surge on! i wanna learn diving!

Leviticus 6:13 'A fire shall always be burning on the altar; it shall never go out'.

i'm blogging from the central library now. about 40 mins before my next lecture starts. got my tutorial slots. and i'm so thankful that i've got a 3-day week! haha.. though i will be having 4-hour breaks on even week thurs and fri. another thing is i dunno anyone in my tutorials except new media! plus there's project work.. gotta make new friends and find myself a group. my worse nightmare is walking into a room and everyone has their cliques and i'm left alone.. ar.. traumatising.

lets see, my last lecture was 8-10am, and i had a 4 hour break. i actually brought some readings to do.. but i think i ended doing none. after lecture at 10am i went with jing ting to arts canteen, along the way met eng, stayed there for an hour, went to library to photocopy my readings, met justina, went to canteen again, met jinhui and his friends. (and he nv bother to entertain me) so i figured i'd be more productive in the library.. here i am!

sorry to have bored u with my 4-hour into one paragraph rant.

i was reflecting on my life for the months passed. i used to think last year was the year i received the most breakthroughs. thinking through again, it's not really so. for the past few months i've learnt how to lean on God's grace, through fastings, various commitments and events which have stretched me. things that i cannot and don't wish to do without Him. and i'm glad that it is this way, learning how to depend totally on the Holy Spirit. i enjoy my walk with God. it feels like a brand new found love i discover everyday. ah, sounds so philosophical u might say. but nobody will know until he has a true revelation of God himself.

well gtg! ciao.

How You Live Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

So far my lessons are ok. Just that there are a lot of readings to do.. need to start getting the momentum. i think i'd have to use a lot of ink and paper, cos lots of notes to print out. i went to marina on national day, to support sharon's sausage stall, and also saw military stuff.

actually one word to sum up: tired. dunno why i felt so drained of energy. probably the accumulation of past activities. time to recharge myself with the Holy Spirit! more to come..

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting. You focus on living a quality life. You're not easily impressed with novelty. Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

today is the first week of school, lessons officially begin. the pace is quick!

i was tremendously blessed by the ministry of hillsong and delirious at the festival of praise. most enjoyable part being in worship, entering into God's rest. was overwhemled by the peace and love of God.

it was also CHC's 16th anniversary this week! 16 amazing years. i'm thankful God has planted me in this church, and am proud of Sun for going all out to fulfill her purpose despite criticisms. God has prospered her much! i wish to see myself going through such adventures with God! placing my life in His hands is exciting! cos He opens doors of opportunity, bring u to places u have never been. Thank You Jesus!

A man without a vision for future will always return to his past! that's not me!

today i spoke to a someone and she told me this:

i think i like him, i'm losing sleep over him. feel he's surrounded by others. does he notice me? but i know we cant be together, i cant express my feelings for him. it's not the time and i dunno if there'd ever be a time.


then i pondered.


and i pondered...


why do we want but we don't want?

life is tough, there are somethings we have to let go for a greater purpose.

a random post, indeed.

recently i made a pact with myself. might seem a little hard, but i'd go all out to achieve it.

goodnight folks.

praise God i've got a job at NUS as a technical assistant. taking care of the com lab 4 hrs every week. heh i'm quite excited abt it. tho the pay is not exactly high, but it'd be a bonus to my allowance.

i just got home and bathed. -yawn-

today was the nus orientation organised by chc. i went for arts one awhile then left to join them. quite fun! basically played games and had fun as a og. got to see more chc mates in nus. although there wasnt enough time to really get to know my og mates. there are 240 harvesters in nus alone. on the way back 10 people squeezed in a car, think it's jinhui's og mate. imagine 8 ppl at the back seat. 4 sitting, 4 on laps. haha! an experience..

then i went to meet my fas og people for dinner at holland v.

i'm super zonked now. this week is gonna be very eventful and busy. festival of praise, service at indoor, big day for cch. much plowing of the land. pray for grace, strength and a great harvest of souls!

yeah time for bed. i'm seh. goodnight :)

it has been one hectic week.

i've been in school for orientation the whole week, reach home late at night. but i'm enjoying the wacky moments with my stale freshies, reviving the memories of arts camp! :)

i've got all the modules i bid for. bidding is quite fun actually. went to the com lab with my og mates, stone there for abt 1.5 hrs monitoring the pts. like playing stocks.. cant believe modules like philosophy can be popular. so i've decided to use my gem pts to get it. new media was 1 pt last yr, and this yr's min is 71! weird trends..yay but i got it!

tmr i'm starting my swat class! preparing myself to be expectant toward it. although frankly, i've never really thought of rising up in cch. my dream is to be a cgl. wonder where God is leading me? everyday i need direction even more.

Jn 3:8 'The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.'

bits and pieces forming up..

i've planned my timetable. so far i have a 4 day week, with a 2-hr alternate week Tuesday. keep my fingers crossed, pray for favor and hope all things turn out as i've planned! :) and i'm really confused abt the bidding and balloting. ranking my choices is giving me headaches.

dunno why these few days i feel so lethargic. i've been swimming quite often, and the water is freezing due to the rain.. oh guess wad, i went for my medical checkup and realised i lost 1kg!! yay.. ecstasy. hah but it's easy to put on again.

shld be an eventful week. once again i have to wake up early for school. CHC is planning its own NUS orientation next mon! quite interesting. :D

i'm back to being a student.

hey i'm excited to share something! haha..

today had a mini 'bible study' with teacher paul. actually he just wanted to share something short with us but it became a time of discussion and deep thought. well ponder on this, regarding gender equality, wad's your stand?

how do you explain this verse in the bible: 1 Tim 2: 12 'And I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man, but to be in silence.' Does this support the cause of certain traditional beliefs that women cant rise up to lead?

take a look at this from the beginning: Genesis 1: 27 'So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.'

What's the conclusion then? From the beginning, male and female have been created in God's image, and both have been empowered equally. In 1 Tim 2:12, the context was in accordance to a wife submitting to her husband.

herein lies the secret to a good marriage! God did not create male and female un-equally. in fact, both gender had been created in His image, empowered equally to accomplish much. however, one point to note. women were created to be helpers to their husbands!

Gen 2: 18 'And the Lord said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him'... '.. and God took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman.'

do u see the picture? a woman is not under the authority of any man, she is not created to be lower than any man. she is only under the leadership of her husband, whom she has been created to be a helper for.

the secret of a good marriage is when a woman submits to her husband and serves as a helper to him, not pressing him down with her views but guiding him when he turns wrongly. steering him to the right path. submission is not inferiority or pure obedience! get it? the context of 1Tim2:12 is not for any woman, but the woman to her husband. of cos, it takes effort on the husband's side to make things work too..

i hope you understand the point i'm trying to bring across! it's so amazing. i've just received a great revelation! the Bible is truly relevant to every area of our lives! God is concerned abt the way we live, he has given so many guidelines. if only u r hungry enough to find. indeed, the Word speaks mysteries a babe cannot comprehand.

well my 2 cents worth. do drop a tag if u need clarification. i'm so happy to have discovered this! it was here all along from the beginning. who needs counsellors and gurus when the manual for success is right under your nose? if only we all took God's word seriously.

Ish 28:10 'For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.'

i'm so inspired to go to SOT to learn more about this amazing piece of book which was given to us!

school is starting for me tmr, i'd count. cos it'd be one whole week of orientation and talks, dunno wad after that, then lessons! wow.. a new phase of life. heh.. update soon my friends, have a blessed week ahead!

3 weeks of fasting and prayer for Arise and Build has passed! amazed and thankful i could go thru 3 24-hr fasts, 3 overnight meetings. amazing how i pulled thru! thank God for His grace.

Today was Arise and Build. i'm so glad it's another time to sow into God's kingdom. come to think of it i've took part in arise and build since 1997 when i was a kid. i remember Pastor Eileen told us, every dollar u give can buy a brick for God's House. and even one brick can help to hold the House up! so filled with faith i brought my savings. when i stepped into the Jurong church building for the 1st time i couldn't help but cry. God's temple is so amazing.

i like wad a businessman said. Arise and Build is a good investment opportunity, cos when u invest in God's kingdom, returns are not only 30, 40 fold but 100 fold! well eternity is quite hard to fathom now. however i believe i've stored up treasures in heaven! my precious is laid on the altar!

tmr i'm going for pre-camp. actually i'm feeling lazy and unmotivated. but it's for a good cause i guess. haha.. back on Tue. see u guys!

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core. You often find yourself on the outside looking in. Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works. You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Let me show you what kind choco chip is...

You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

You are kind, popular, and generous. You tend to be successful at anything you try. A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd. You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Not likely i'd go for a social butterfly

Your Career Type: Social

You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy. Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems. You would make an excellent: Counselor - Dental Hygienist - Librarian Nurse - Parole Officer - Personal Trainer Physical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher The worst career options for your are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer.

What's Your Ideal Career?

this career thingy is quite true :D

i love visiting Blogthings. There are some quizzes which are very interesting and accurate.

a bit of update on yesterday, i went to airport with delvina to eat popeye. simply love the cajun mash potatoes. afterward the mad gal went abt taking pics of herself which attracted quite a few stares. i dont understand her fetish for that flower bag.

my birthday has passed, 8th July. (my last teenage year, sadly)

thanks to those who sent me birthday greetings. every thought is precious to me :) i received money, chocolates, 2 necklaces (one from cg and PC), a green teddy and a mirror. haha.. anymore to come? belateds are acceptable.

i'm still pondering, but i hope i make right decisions, focus and stick to what i'm empowered for. nothing happens by chance, not everybody is called to this. feel privileged. do not despise your calling.

Lord, let me never forget your goodness and seek my own will. open doors remain open.

2 Cor 9:8 'And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.'

so i look to You, no one else will do.

Enlarge me.

HALF THE YEAR IS GONE!

pardon me for the uproar but i'm still trying to come to terms with how fast time flies.

well guess wad? i've finally finished my 6 mth contract with Singapore College of Insurance! cant believe i managed to pull through 6 mths of working life there. it was a good experience but definitely not very enjoyable. haha..

yay so now's my 1 month break before school starts. altho i feel that i'd not really be free. take for example my 1st 3 days has already been filled with activities. but my working stint has enlarged my capacity, i'd say. tired after a day's work, followed by night commitments. great great, pat myself on the back heh.

yesterday met up with guen. she's leaving on tmr for australia to study. we are all moving on. sigh, guen thanks for the 4-year friendship! send me emails alright, keep in touch!

ooh i've received my uob debit card and chq book! quite cool heh

been at the crossroads, and i think i've more or less decided.

ARTSTASY ah wo bo jiak
CID ah wo buey kia
Mai yo mai yo mai yo
Ai yo ai yo ai yo
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh................

The arts camp was a blast! awesome + fun experience. i din feel homesick one bit. :) goodness, when i went to sleep at night i could still hear the cheers ringing. hah.. vanessa i'm hooked on artstasy too!

let pictures do the talking, eh?

Day 1:
Ice-breaking, romanov/ryken, games + cheers




fashion parade

Day 2:
amazing race (running around campus & west coast), fright night + SP interaction


one of the silly things we did with our SPs


4am supper at fong seng..

Day 3:
whole day of games at sentosa + speed dating by the beach



Day 4:
war games, SP dinner + clubbing


@ planet paradigm

Day 5:
break camp, everyone was so shag. went home with new friendships + memories!



haha that's abt it. cant wait to start school!

I'm back from hiatus! haha...

well it has been an eventful week. everyone from chc will be blogging abt the emerge conference!! all i can say is that it was extraordinary.. 'spritual + revival' hunger. that was mainly wad touched me most. not to mention queueing in saunas, which made me fall sick after everything. :(

overall it cant be sum up in a few words cos such encounter is indescribable. 2 songs that ministered greatly to me:

There was this beautiful indonesian song by Sidney Mohede. i think most of us dont even know wad we were singing but the anointing just came so mightily with this song!

Bila kubuka mataku (When I open my eyes)
Dan lihat wajahMu (And look at Your face)
Ku terkagum (I am amazed)

Bila kulihat hidupku (When I look at my life)
dan karya tanganMu (And all the works of Your hand)
Ku tersanjung (I am honored)

Kar'na semua yang baik (Because all good things)
dalam hidupku (In my life)
Itulah karyaMu (They are Your wondrous works)
Kau b'ri k'sempatan yang baru (You give a brand new chance)

Dan ku ingin mengenalMu, Tuhan (And I want to know You, God)
Lebih dalam dari s'mua yang kukenal (Deeper than all that I have known before)
Tiada kasih yang melebihiMu (There is no greater love than Yours)
Ku ada untuk menjadi penyembahMu (I am here to be Your worshipper)

Another song written by Pst Kong:

ONCE I HAVE TURN MY FACE FROM THEE
YET YOU SOUGHT ME AND YOU CLEANSED ME
MADE ME WHOLE AGAIN
JESUS MY SAVIOR MY BELOVED AND FRIEND
YOUR PRAISES I BRING
FROM MY HEART I SING

DRAW ME, O DRAW ME AWAY
MESSIAH TODAY TO YOUR PRESENCE TO STAY
O JESUS NOW CHANGE ME AND MOULD ME
THAT I CAN BE EVERMORE TRUE TO THEE

YOU ARE THE SHEPHERD OF MY HEART
YOU HAVE BROUGHT ME TO YOUR CHAMBER
MY MASTER AND KING
YOU LIGHT UP MY DARKNESS AND GAVE ME
YOUR WORD THAT YOU'LL NEVER FORSAKE ME
NOR NO EVER WILL LEAVE ME

Photos taken during emerge..

queueing up at level 3


w311 with our personalised wristbands


some nonsense..


ok that's about it! i also went to langkawi during the weekend. anyway there's really nothing much there except for a few nice beaches. did an afternoon of snorkelling but nothing beats tioman. langkawi's just a quiet little town, no big shopping centre.. natural and simple. that's how i'd describe it.

it's 7:30pm and i'm still in office doing OT. sighs. see u arnd!

the first day of a brand new month!

i cannot keep repeating myself, but time does fly. when i'm working it jets pass faster than when i'm in school.

i've been living in my new home for abt a month now. enjoying the ease of going down for a swim at odd hours. haha.. there are still things to unpack. still things to bring over from bedok. think abt that next time.

i cycled with my mother on Mon night from our home to esplanade! went via the medeka bridge from indoor stadium. anyway i'm quite happy that my directional instincts are working.

the June holidays are here! i wish i could spend more time with my sis but i'm working. it's hard to plan trips now cos my bro is in poly, my sis in sec sch, i'm going uni, and i dunno when our breaks coincide.

but my family going to langkawi next week for a short getaway. i cant wait! i love aeroplane rides.. hehe. however will miss the emerge weekend. well, win some, lose some.

later will be going with qiushan for her makeup class. i'm going there to be practised on. update again!

i bought the no longer i cd but i still have not got the chance to sit down and listen to it! so far i just keep playing 2 tracks, thank you and change me. haha!

speaking of which, when i bought the cd i felt that i had to give it to delvina. so i found out she actually bought the cd and gave it away! so now she gets blessed back with the cd. wad did i do? buy one more to bless myself! haha..

well my cg is going to be combined with sis mingli's cg. quite excited abt it.. ailing's there, and she's from nus.. i mean sis mingli herself is also! lol.. may our new cg grow from strength to strength!

went for jeanie's bday chalet yesterday! we reached pretty late. it's so far in! haha.. a very big chalet. not to mention her generous buffet spread! and there was still soooo much food left at midnight. and jeanie has a cute john. lol..

Happy 21st birthday Jeanie!!

andrew bought me a green piggy bank from Batam.. to thank me for doing attendance for him when he was away.

well it looks something like this



i think i will start saving one dollar coins. haha :)

back to work! :(

a lazy day.. haha..

well i woke up at 11am and spent my time escaping from 3 chambers! it's actually a game where u r trapped in a room and u hv to find clues to free yourself. very challenging!! wont hv completed it w/o walkthroughs. haha..

check it out here

anyway i went for the arts & ss openhouse with liang yi and vanessa on Sat. oh my, all these bidding systems for modules is making me confused. think abt it later.

time for lunch. :)

Dear blog

Today I've finally satisfied my craving for shaw foodcourt's pork supreme noodles! (i know it sounds a bit corny) anyway, in case u dunno, it's white flat noodles served with boiled cabbage, a special dark sauce and fried fish. i braved a mild drizzle and a jay-walk just to have this for lunch. haha..

i caught 'House of wax' with guen yesterday. when i came out of the theatre i felt like i've just been on a rollarcoaster. it was thrilling and gory. yikes.. quite a shame paris hilton died so uglily. also collected my Basic Malay cert. finally completed the course, i hope i can still keep a bit of the language..

the conference with pst Phil last week was amazing! i believe there has been a breakthrough in my life.. wow the encounter was just so great i cant really put it in words right now. will put up another post abt how the conference has changed me.

i have a testimony of God's goodness:

on Wed night's conference, pst phil wanted to pray for all University & Poly students. i wanted in my heart very much to go down. however i was not a uni student yet! cos no offer..

(let me digress..u might know i didn't do well for my As. it's so competitive nowadays that i'm not sure if i'd be offered anything. felt very demoralised and anxious through this whole period where everyone was going somewhere and i was kinda left hanging with nothing. so much went thru my mind! a few times i wld literally cry to God cos i was depressed abt this whole thing)

but God is good, amen? He knows my heart, that i really wanna get a place in NUS FASS. so anyhow, i was challenged by the preaching to take a step of faith. i went down when pastor phil prayed for the Uni students. guess wad?! shortly, i recieved an email to say i've been offered a place at NUS fas!

wow u dunno wad this means to me. probably some ppl might think, no big deal, can get a place in Uni.. pure coincidence or luck or whatever. how in the 1st place did i get shortlisted for an interview when i didn't apply to be under discretionary admission? it's a miracle! after hearing rejections from ppl who din get a place in. my results would never get a place in normal standards.

but i know He is a God who wont shortchange. He is a God who cares for me. He is a God who is real to me. and all things are possible if i just trust Him. hope this blessed and encouraged someone out there.

Jesus loves me this I know! :)

You Are Milk Pocky

Your attitude: caring and charming Smooth and silkly... invigorating and natural. You are like comfort food for the soul.

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

Hello blog.. How have you been?

Well it has been quite an eventful week for me.

Firstly, there was the fire conference on Mon by children's church. it was really powerful! fire ignited in my bones.. Pastor Eileen shared with us an encouraging word about this race on earth and also showed a video of pastor bill wilson's sermon. after that everyone was crying cos we were touched so mightily by God's presence..

wad did i learn?

The need is the call!

many times we are waiting for God to literally tell us wad's our calling in life.. but Pastor bill said, if you see a need and you fulfill it, that's the call of God. wow.. it was such a revelation to me.

he also shared with us a story of his ministry in the new york city ghettos, where most people are involved in crime, drugs, child abuse etc.. so there was this lady who recently got saved, she wanted to serve in Pastor bill's ministry but she could only speak spanish. he told her to help out on a different bus every week.

gradually, she decided she wanted to serve on a particular bus bcos she found this special kid. he was a dirty boy, not your average kid, and he always kept to himself. but during every trip, this spanish lady wld pick him up, sit him on her lap and whisper 'Jesus loves you, I love you'.. These were the only words she could speak.

week after week she said the same, until one day, after this boy got off the bus.. he suddenly ran back to her and stuttered, 'I love you too'. And you know wad? 6 hrs later they found this boy in the garbage. his mother beat him to death and threw him away.

but at least he knew someone loved him before he died. does this provoke you?

I just pray i will walk in the perfect will of God, love His people and touch lives.

There's still so much more i wanna share.. will do so another time. right now it's time to pray myself up and seek God for a vision for me life! for without a vision, we will perish (Pro 29:18)

be blessed in your coming week, friends! :)

a few entries ago i said a quarter of the year has passed, now a third of the year has passed!!

anyway a few moments ago i watched fireworks from my living room! haha.. cos my new home is so near esplanade. i could even hear the sounds. quite an experience.

well this coming Wed i'm going for NUS fass interview. finally after seeing so many people recieve offers it's my turn! quite scary.. dunno wad to expect.. i'm quite happy that i've got this chance for an interview. thank God for it. will pray for favor and that i can enter.

tmr there's children's church conference.. will update soon again. right now i gotta entertain delvina on the phone and probably prepare my portfolio.

not sure why the photos i posted didn't come out. when i have the mood then i'd go investigate.

right now i'm having a cup of berrynice yogurt from McDonalds. it's a bit pricely, but it's berrynice! there are fresh strawberries and blueberries inside, topped with honey oats. feel more perked up now.

met sianghong for lunch yesterday before he goes to tekong tmr. sort of a simple farewell meal. anyway we ate some very 'sinful' creamy and cheesy pasta. haha.. will try to go healthy for the next few days.

office work bores me more and more :(

some photos taken at the National Arthrities Foundation Charity Gala Dinner @ Ritz Carlton Hotel

taken with my office colleagus, all looking gorgeous..


in the ballroom during dinner

this is gonna be a quick post.

from today, 18 Apr 05 onwards, my old home no. will cease to exist. it's kinda sad.. been with me for 16 years! :(

anyway, i'm now at my new home. boxes and boxes of stuff everywhere, so messy. moving home is so tiring! and we haven't finish transporting all the stuff from my bedok home. at the same time i hv to unload things. wow, wonder when i will ever finish..

right now i feel tired and hungry from all the unpacking. so many things, no space!

delvina u can come soon to walk from kallang to esplanade. or do u wanna cycle? i hv an extra bike with a basket for u. haha :D

actually there's something i wanna post. i will do so when i'm less occupied.

bye!

one week is over!

Today's sermon was on 'Exposing my pseudo self'.. quite interesting. it's really true all of us make up a person who we think we should be, rather than be happy with the unique individual God has created us to be. actually i'm not very sure if i have defence mechanisms in my life. but in some circumstances i do cover up the real me. anyway, it's time for a journey to self discovery. :)

this week i did visitation twice at JW. really stretching..and i think everyday is a challenge to expand my capacity. however i dont wanna end up like martha chasing activities! here's a little passage to encourage everyone.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better ...God didn't put me on earth just to fulfil a to-do list.

He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings. Amen.

well the overnight prayer meeting on Friday was really refreshing. could feel His anointing falling afresh. i do hope for more chances to linger in His presence and commune like this.

speaking of which, it's really time for my CG to start fighting!! felt a burden that 2 members have decided to leave and some members are not really regular. do they even know Him for themselves? are we all so busy chasing things and neglecting the basics? to me, CG should nv be secondary. it's here where we fellowship and recieve the Word. i'm perfectly understandable of the difficulties they face in not being able to come. but r they genuinely hungry? do u bother to ask what u missed when u din attend? or r u merely fulfilling a duty.. i feel sad. i want to return to my first love. i hope we all do...can we stand in agreement for a common vision and for our cg to be strengthened?

Stand in the gap!
Num 16:48 'And he(Aaron) stood between the dead and the living; so the plague was stopped.'

ok i'm gonna sleep now. gd nite and have a blessed week ahead!

i went to highlight my hair red again, plus cut & treatment. wonder if i'm wasting my money cos my hair looks the same.. no difference. blame it on my lack of courage to do something drastic + high maintanence..

well it's april. 3/4 of the year has passed, and how have i spent it?

i realised working makes time fly, leaves less time for yourself, tires u at the end of the day. however i guess it's better than studying cos when u r schooling, u hv to do OT. why? bcos once u r home u hv to worry abt assignments, tests etc when u get home.. while working frees your mind of such, limiting them to the workplace. logical?

anyway, let me give an update of wad happened during the last week.

Mon: went to junhao's grandpa's funeral

Tue: malay class, 7-9pm

Wed: visitation at lakeside with andrew

Thu: NAF charity gala ball @ ritz carlton. was there cos my company bought a few tables. the whole office was released after lunch so that the ladies could beautify themselves.
Guest of Honor: President Nathan. it was grand.. gave me good exposure. met the high class society. we had to wear evening gowns. i wore a pink tube dress with a shawl. (shall post up the pictures soon). it was quite funny.. i learnt how to eat bread.

Step 1: pick bread with left hand & peel off a small morsel w right.

Step 2: shift small morsel to left hand, pick knife w right, scrape a little butter and spread.

Step 3: shift small morself (with spread butter) back to right hand to eat. repeat process.

the food came in small portions in the middle of a BIG plate with strings of sauce dripped around. didn't really enjoy the food anyway. except maybe the mash potatoes with asparagus.

but the evening ended quite well with a performance by kane alexander, 'Music of the night' from phantom of the opera, which i really enjoyed. oh yes i must mention, i took a photo with President and some of the staff.

Fri: Cell group. sis meiyan announced w263 + w311 will be meeting separately from this wk on.

Sat: Children's church service. after that went back to church for meeting with bro paul. gave us a few scriptures which greatly encouraging.

Sun: Service, i left quite early to go back to be with my cousins. we drove to parkway to buy watches, magazines, walk around. but didn't stay long cos they had to drive back to KL. i watched Turn Left, Turn Right. rather touching, tho' the whole plot was jus simply 2 people missing each other. for once i didn't get sucked into a romance show and think about it for the next few days. :)

right now i'm really sleepy. gotta rest and i will not neglect u blog for long, promise.

it's good friday today!

has been a rather eventful week. let's see.. on wed after work, went to do saturation at lakeside. met brother paul at suntec before going down. thot we were taking train there together but he drove us in a truck! quite an experience sitting in a truck.. and it kept beeping cos he was driving above 60km/h. well it was quite fruitful cos we managed to catch the after school crowd. did a bit of visitation after that and got very lost cos andrew was not arnd.

thur was the easter egg hunt party for the kids. i took half day to do busing from toa payoh. when i got there i found out there were only 5 kids! many din come cos of sports day..wad a pity. the party was wow! esp the drama abt the toy-maker sacrificing his son to save his toys from the evil snow queen. isn't that the easter story in a way the children could relate to? it was quite touching. after that, i did return trip to toa payoh.. then it was back to lakeside for saturation and visitation.

thank God for strength. it's time to plunder hell & populate heaven.. there's more to come this weekend!

I'm finally back to blog.

after i got my results, i was kinda depressed and shaken. to me, it was something big enough to determine where i'd be going and doing in future. and i knew i had tried hard studying. well, i was disappointed and felt very low.. but i was 'prevented' from drifting away by the conference with Rev Benny Hinn at indoor stadium. i was really hungry to be refreshed by the Holy Spirit. and He met us in the conference so mightily! the presence of God was so saturated, i was transformed after the meeting. it was really great. just cant describe the encounters and miracles i witnessed that day. the anointing just fell so strong in the place! indeed if you seek Him with all your heart you shall surely find Him.

anyway, despite the wasted tears, i'm glad emerged stronger from milestones in life. not to mention the people around me who care so much! they are the pillars of my life.. :)

A level results are coming out tmr.

wonder if the anxiety caused me to be sick..

anyway, i'm down with fever, sore throat and blocked nose. felt unbearable so i took half day today. i just woke up from a 3.5 hrs nap. sigh.. probably the stress at work had a part to play.

i hope i become well soon so that i can have strength to do more things.

wish all the A level-ers out there all the best! :)

time for medicine and more sleep.

before i go, let me leave u with a website.
www.blogthings.com (click)
it's full of quizzes and fun things. for u to do when u r bored and post on ur blogs!
enjoy..

Yes joyce, i promised to blog today, and i'm blogging now! haha.. well i wanted to blog in office but there was so much work to do! and i didn't go for lunch. :(

today's the last day of february. i dunno how the month passed so quickly that i've only got one entry! today is also the release of O level results. which means.....A level results r gonna come out in 1 week. i just went thru some courses with my brother. looks pretty interesting. makes me wonder why i didn't consider the poly route last time.

yesterday was MIC. the teachers went thru a children's church service with us. quite fun, i participated in games and pretended to be a newcomer... brings back memories when i was in cch. went home with joyce and jennifer after that. felt more focused after speaking to joyce about her experience while she was commited to cg & cch. well i will learn how to expand my capacity and do wad He wants me to do for now. just need to continue praying for direction! but 1st things 1st.. i need to be called to christlikeness!

the seminars & services with pst ulf really refreshed me. it set me walking.. sometimes the more i push myself to become something the more it doesn't surface. anyway, there r still many things to discover in my walk with Him. ultimately, if i dont understand my primary calling of loving Him and having communion with Him, there's nowhere else i wanna be.

You know that i love U
You know that i want to know U so much more
More than i have before
These words are from my heart
These words are not made up
I will live for U, I am devoted to U.
King of majesty, i have one desire..
Just to be with You my Lord
Jesus U r the Savior of my soul!
and forever and ever I'll give my praises to U!

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

wow time passes so fast! chinese new year is here. and 2 weeks of feb is gone! haha.. let's see how my past week has been. friday was 3rd day of new year. most of my colleagus took off. but i decided to go since my dept head was not around. however, she left us a lot of work to do. still called the office to see if we were doing our work. anyway, some of us went for lunch time kbox. quite expensive cos got some new year charge. but it was quite fun. a bit malu singing with them at first, but in the end it's just abt chilling and enjoying yourself. oh i recieved 2 ang baos too! :)

i went back to johor for reunion dinner. the hot season is back, and it is quite unbearable. met up with my cousins. realised how much we have all grown. everyone's starting out their journeys in life. this new year is quieter and more family based for me. i spent a lot of time sleeping and being with my family at home. haha.. i appreciated this cny break. a time for new to rest, recharge and gear myself up for greater things!

Psalm 42

As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.
My soul thirts for God, for the living God.
Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me.
The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
And in the night His song shall be with me;
A prayer to the God of my life.
Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

For the things which are seen are temporary,
but the things which are not seen are eternal.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.

today something interesting happened at work. it was the EMD graduation. and i was passing certs to the guest of honor. anyway my colleauges said since i'm on stage i have to look pretty. so they made me up with so much makeup i looked like an air stewardess!! haha.. i almost couldnt recognise myself.

this graduation really opened my eyes to the insurance industry. it was for those top manager agents who are drawing high salaries. they dress sharp, look posh and have the high status aura. however some of them are very down to earth. mostly men present, cos according to gwen, men know how to 'pia'. dunno how true that is. the whole process was an eye-opener for me! impressive people.. plus i was in charge of operations, seating arrangement, agenda, refreshment orders (i even had to go carrefour to get sushi), certificates, reminding vips + graduands to come.

haiyo i'm jus a temp and they gimme so much work! but it was quite fulfilling, rushing and stressful! thought i could get away with mere admin work. but that would make my life boring so i think i appreciate it. haha..

i've gotten my digi cam. decided on dimage xg. cos it was on sale at harvey norman, and i thought it was pretty worth it. $399. plus it's quite small and compact, rechargable batt, so suited my expectations. so far i'm quite happy with it, so if anyone has negative comments abt e cam dont tell me ok? hehe..

i miss baby!!!!

in case u dunno who baby is. it's.....




isn't it adorable!!! the mother dropped it at a carpark, near the void deck where my cg was fellowshipping..

being the gracious us, we decided to return it to its mother cos she could care for it best.

if not.. i could have brought it home. =(

mother's milk is the best. cos kittens who drink cow's milk wld get gastric. where do u find cat's milk anyway?

i wanna buy digicam. Minolta Dimage Xg or Nikon Coolpix 3700??
advices, anyone?

this is a short week. fri is a public holiday! haha.. actually time passes very fast! mid-jan is already gone. which means i'm nearing the release of my A level results. actually i'm quite scared of university after hearing abt huifang's time table! have to go to school at weird timings like late afternoon til night. :( however after 3 weeks at SCI, i've developed a keen interest for actuarial science and financial planning.

well my week at office has been so far so good. just that i've experienced a bit of culture shock. i prefer to be deaf and dumb under such circumstances. went cny shopping with my mother yesterday. managed to get quite a few good bargains. i met zubaidah. she looks so matured now. i must say most of us have all grown up and look better. nu ren shi qi yi duo hua. hahas..

i was looking through 2 of my colleagues' (gwen and cecily) wedding photos. so pretty and sweet! haha.. not in the mood for love or romance la. just that thinking about the perfect wedding is actually quite fun! eg wad kinda flowers u want, the venue, food etc. haha i was so bo liao just now i actually went to look through flower galleries! and my conclusion is :

CABBAGE ROSE IS REALLY NICE

ok no more time to talk so much. going over to my new home to check out soon. shall find some time to write about a perfect wedding i'd love to have (in a longer time later).. haha!

delvina su you owe me a gym and a walk from kallang to esplanade. tag to notify IOU. :)