2003 thank-yous :

1) odac family : 1stly, mr lim.. thanks for making me cry. haha.. without u i'd never knew i could do so much. medics ( yuerui and may) .. nonsense friends who shared the experiences of the memorable nov xp and other mad trainings.. yuerui for teaching me first aid stuff and running 2.4 with me, and.. being there for me when i was down.. *haha*, and may for extra comfort when we slept at the cold cold summit! of cos got other things to thank her for la.. great classmate who is sometimes a bit qian bian cos she's BLUR and always lost and stoned.. haha.. lijuan francis.. for motivation.. lijuan for introducing me to thai balacan fried rice! .. and all the others, qianyi, danielle, em, shida, eunice, lifen, yingfeng, mana, zhong, zijian, lixing, andrey, jason, blah blah for friendship and all the fun we had! haha.. so much to talk abt odac.. but dunno how to start..

2) canoeing : only there for 3 mths, but made some really good friends, JOANNE!!, vivian, lavinia, ben tan, mark, jon, others.. and canoeing & dragon boating helped me lose 4kg in 2 mths! haha..

3) 1T33 : bestest class in the whole world! thoroughly enjoyable. haha.. thanks to philene, joanne, pq, jaime, ele, aldrich, zijian, ivan, hangmeng, wenjie .. and the rest!

4) 1T29 : not forgetting my current class.. though not very united, but still great! with wonderful teachers like mr ang, our dearest ht, mr ho!! super funny math teacher, mr tan ( i'm his rep), mr ho.. nice nice pe teacher.. lao shi.. and ms gopal.. forever nagging.

5) city harvest church : my cg!! saw it start from a 6 members grp.. to now.. 30 members! haha.. love everybody.. pst kong, sun, huifang, joyce, jess, jason, yihang, maoshun, keenan!, jianting, peggie, and lots lots more.. and my kids and teachers from children's church for bringing sunshine into my life.. =)

6) guen : without u i couldn't survive in cj. haha! thanks for being my partner since sec3, our friendship, study sessions, (u always lent me your math tutorials), .. there's too many things to list here. thanks! haha..

7) DONG!!!! : jieru.. u got this nickname since.. i dunno how it started long before our time in the southern province of china... haha! i love u!!! glad to share my ups and downs with u and many more. cherished pal for mine. *muacks*

8) melvina : super idiot gal.. haha.. 3 years liao still with nelson.. i've known her for so long, know quite a bit abt her, know her family, know this know that. haha.. another great and cherished friend.. we kinda planned to go cj together. haha!

9) candy : another close friend.. loved the times in cedar we spent with nana, minglee, having fun in pb..

10) last but not least.. GOD!! for always watching over me, being there to heal my emotional wounds, blessing me each day ... so much to thank Him for.. my existance in the world .. keeping me alive, His mercy and grace.. haha... and of cos my family too! my ma, pa, bro (cooks really good fried rice.. =D) and ting.. for always being there!

hmm... looking back on the year... it has been hectic... ups and downs.. remember stepping into cjc on 2jan.. and i hated the sch right from the start.. cos it looked soooo gloomy, and flag raising was appalling compared to cedar's... but as a consolation i got into 1t33!! a very nice class... then joined canoeing, which helped me lose 4kg.. it was quite an experience training in kallang... haha.. and then.. after 'o's, i got into cj again! i recalled crying cos i was so confident i'd get out of that place. i even told michael tan i'd not be in cj anymore.. and he caught me on registration day for ankle socks.. yup.. then there was SARS... some epidemic... and in april i went to esplanade and was really happy... hmm i joined odac in the 2nd intake.. cos may asked me to.. never regretted joining it.. made good friends, experienced so much, got pushed, cried, got uncomfortable, freezed, melted, climbed, bled, got injured, got cuts, got LEECH bites!! haha.. then came promos, u could say i gained and lost during that period. gained cos i was rather pleased with my math, which improved from O to A.. i think cos the paper was relatively easier la.. lost cos he left.. anyway.. that doesn't matter anymore..
i think this year, i've learnt ample and experienced a great deal.. learnt not to hold onto things too tightly.. wad's meant to be mine would eventually come.. and then.. i've learnt that i've gotta be more.. spontaneous and outgoing! i was quite antisocial and dao initially la.. but changed? probably.. haha.. in a sense i got closer to Him too.. cos needed emotional healing.. and someone to turn to. countenence changed too.. and i definitely got closer to my cell.. used to dislike my leader in the past, but realised wad she did had a purpose, and everything she said was actually for our good. well i'm glad for 2003, for everything bad and good that has passed, for the new friendships forged and for discovering more about myself! change is essential. i remember yingfeng telling me.. jiu de bu qu, xing de bu lai. haha..
time to move into a brighter 2004.. my resolution? to do well in 'A's of cos.. grow more and more.. be a pretty gal! haha.. eh.. go uni... and.. fulfill my secret wish.. which i shall declare once it's realised! haha.. i can make it if i try. haha! new year quick come!! i got my morning run on 2jan arr!! haha.. okie .. thanks folks for making this year a truly valuable memoir!! muacks to my darlings! =)

had odac meeting in sch today.. danielle and eunice bought these MR MEN & LITTLE MISS books for us.. remember those small books we used to read as kids?? haha.. i recieved the little miss giggles title.. wonder why... anyway i just know when i start laughing at something it's hard to stop. haha.. hmm... then we went to far east for lunch.. and wisma to walk.. i tried on 2 tube dresses... one at project shop.. $89 and one at top shop.. $96.. both very very pretty!! i'd love to have one of them.. haha! but dunno when to wear.. lijuan, may, yuerui and i were looking around and poor francis was sitting outside the shops reading newspapers.. haha! oh anita mui died... feel quite sad for her.. hong kong lost 2 stars this year..

1t29, mr ang our very very nice ht. =)

Conscious self	Overall self

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the brain can stimulate some really wild thoughts and set u sleepless for a night. i have always been wondering wad he's thinking and feeling... then ben tan told me something.. and i realised.. how true eh.. cannot read too deep into wad people say. lalala.. but anyway i think this is how he'd treat other gals la... from wad i know. haha.. its not that i'm getting some special treatment.. ok.. wake up and study for SAT. i've promised myself to stop all these... better clear these crappy thoughts before dong comes and scrub me. *haha*
on a lighter note, i'm FINALLY watching LOTR! haha.. meeting yuerui, yingfeng and teri, i think, at 2pm.. haha! i'm gonna come online less at night cos that's usually when he comes. to forget, is to stay away. anyway that's wad i've been doing until last nite.. wait til i'm stronger! haha.. =)

i'm tired. just came back from dinner at parkway. went to paddle culture to rent kayaks.. i saw the j2 canoeing captain.. forgot his name.. i know they always call him hamster, then jess was saying why paddle culture has the hamster smell. found it rather amusing.. then i saw kim... who jus finished bmt. haha.. hair grew liao la. we din go very far.. towards bedok jetty.. then on our way back, the currents were against us. every 3 strokes i paddled, i'd turn.. dunno la.. hard to explain.. so i was stuck at the same spot. so we got down at mac there and tried carrying out kayaks back. but stupid la.. so we went back to the water again.. then jason was out of sight! we thought he drowned.. but realised he got a jogger to carry his kayak back to big splash for him. kind soul. haha..

i feel like i'm in a case of cameron diaz and justin timberlake. wonder if it's a trend now for younger guys to fall in love with older gals. *haha* .. anyway.. i must say that some younger guys can be really sweet... hmm i'm finally home. feel so tired. out since morning.. today i did something interesting. i walked round the suntec fountain with an umbrella. felt like i was in a downpour.
tmr going canoeing.. hope the weather holds.. meeting up with kim..

santa's little helper! my fav boy keenan.. haha.. sooo adorable.. taken christmas eve at MR BEAN.

tired. got home very late last nite.. spent all my money on cab. yesterday was fun! i felt sooo happy. cos it was christmas eve! drama was hilarious. then i went for bbq countdown. the guys took 45 mins to start the fire. so by the time we could eat it was 11 plus liao. christmas came! recieved many smses and calls. i tried calling ppl but network busy. in the end i sent out greetings at 2am. haha.. oh he called me.. and said happy birthday? and asked who i am. -__-"

i was in town in the afternoon and came across this FLAT dog. something that i said i wanted to buy since sept. so i bought it! got it wrapped for my sis. haha.. me and joyce walked around to groups of ppl singing carols. only the 2 of us! and we gave out candy canes. haha... ppl got a shock la. dunno whether it's bcos of our voices or wad. then yee gave us a bag to collect donations. haha! someone gave me red roses for christmas. i think its not appropriate to give a friend red roses.. so i didn't accept it initially.. but to save the embarrassment of the poor guy walking around with a bouquet, i took it. but told him no obligations. i also found out guen's connected to sengkhng somehow.. thru some distant relative. haha!

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! this is the season to celebrate the birth of Jesus.. not all about santa claus, gifts, snow and partying. =)

just got back from KL. i hate driving there. the traffic jam's really bad... i spent my time there walking in big big shopping complexes like CC, time sq (they have this indoor amusement park) , Lot 10, BB plaza. nothing special la... most of the shops can be found in singapore. went to see the petronas twin towers, went up to the skybridge as well... i wont say the food is really great... they charge at quite high prices, maybe bcos they know tourists frequent these areas.. my pa wanna act smart and drive around himself. got lost many times. haha.. tmr is christmas eve.. exciting.. gonna spend my whole nite out..

today's a wet wet day... had christmas concert in church. it was super packed! concert was very good... Sun sang, then the atmosphere very enthusiastic and loud. during altar call, could really feel the presence of God. then after service, there was free ice-cream and candy floss for new friends.

we took the chartered bus down to marina for steamboat after service. my jeans got all wet from the puddles. the table i was sitting at had occasional rain dropping.. haha.. bcos many of us went, we paid only $9 per person. i had a free dinner cos someone qia. haha.. jieru... (i have to admit) is a great cook la. she did all our food.. even peel prawns... future housewife.. her joseph like very xingfu liddat.. still got fed. haha.. then my chicken all burnt la.. but hers was well done. see dong i wrote good stuff.. not bad.. haha.. sat around and fellowship til abt 11.40pm.. took photos too! cant wait for them to be uploaded..

hmm.. tmr i'm off to KL! do some shopping.. and i wanna try the indoor rollarcoaster in time square! haha..

studied a bit of equilibria today. jieru came over to bake cookies at abt 4pm. DISASTER... tasted horrible.. but the white chocolate coating made it better. haha.. after that went to celebrate joyce's birthday at pasta mania.. just got home... now still in my outside clothes.

think of the damage it takes to keep someone bound.
to plauge their every dream.
to insert your ghost into their passion.
and still they love you.
forever

got this from sep's blog. how true. how meaningful.

u r so near yet so far. a click away yet out of reach. i miss u.

went out with candy and minglee today. realised i had so much to catch up with them. christina didn't join us cos she wanted to do her hw. haha.. anyway... i was late... then candy as usual shouted bitch... we walked to taka, then lido, then far east. there was so much to say to each other... catching up on the year's events. candy's bloody black la.. she came back from some 18 day com svc trip.. super long! cj's one is only 10 days. then.. we took pics, and minglee didn't look at the cam for every single pic! dunno wad she's doing. after that she left.. me and candy walked to ssc, wanna play but no table, so we went to ps, walked round every level. we saw peiqi and her bf.. wanted to tail them.. but lost them.. haha.. that's all for today..

i found out something interesting. my cousin, who's the stall manager of tp mos burger, told me that they weigh their fries! cannot exceed a certain weight. even their lettuces and onions are weighed so they dont over give and lose profits. cheapskate!! haha... but wise move la.

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

quite near! *haha*

went running with yihang again, this time my bro and sis came along. haha.. then we ate prata after that.
yesterday went to run 5k in the morning. felt very good after that. but i went to town after that and ate cinnamon doughnut and bk... so the run made no difference. haha.. oh then i went to queue up for Sun's autograph with huifang and some others, she's sooooooo gorgeous up close.
i bought my new hp!! nokia 3200. met my pa at bugis to buy yesterday evening. so fun! its a camera phone... so after i got it i immediately went snapping around. haha.. excitinggg~
hmm today my sis wanna go jieru's home to see see and play play but that idiot has to leave today!

i have no idea why i'm up so early! haha... yuck... i just saw some disgusting pictures which made my hair stand.

last nite, went to lau pa sat to have a farewell dinner for yihang, who's leaving next tue for ns. we ate satay and sting ray, and got ourselves smelly from the bbq smoke, and faces oily too. then... jason still wanna take pictures. haha! looks a little horrible la. i posted one of them in friendster. haha...

i realised guen sleeps really early in the morning. last 2 nights she msged me at 1 plus am. dunno wad she's doing. and bcos i keep my phone on hoping he'd call, her msges wake me up. haha!! better off my hp liao. haha... anyway guen if u read this... its sweet of u to think of me. =)

Dealing with break-up blues:

1) Cry and cry
2) Drown yourself with ice-cream
3) Run until you faint
4) Dip in the pool at 12 noon and soak up the sun
5) Fantasize reunion
6) Lie in bed all day
7) Read his horoscope
8) Flirt with an old man
9) Become a couch potato
10) Get drunk
11) Hang a pig head at his door
12) Send him millions of emails and letters
13) Bake brownies
14) Go on a shopping spree
15) Sleep at a girlfriend's place
16) Call your pals
17) Crash your father's car
18) Screw up your exams
19) Threaten him to patch if not.........
20) Get a life
21) Slap yourself
22) Sing in the rain
23) Go climb a mountain
24) Pig out at a buffet
25) Blog out your feelings
26) Shout it out at the beach
27) Lock yourself in the room
28) Shamelessly throw yourself at him
29) Move on
30) Be happy about it

I think... only a few make sense. haha... this is something complied by me for... myself! haha... but i'm not gonna do that of cos... do the last 2. I MUST! i've been saying i will but i seem to be heading nowhere. just staying here, walking rounds and rounds. argh.. sigh... wake up wake up....

i forgot to mention... my cousin called me and said i'm enlisted for malaysia ns. which means... i've got to leave for 3 months in feb. sigh! but i'll go appeal for deferment if that's the case. hope the sms system there screwed up and i won't ever recieve the letter!!

fool

hurting

find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com

i'm soooooooo excited!! singtel just called me... they are having some promotions for loyal customers... asking me to upgrade my plan, and i can get nokia 3200 for $198, plus if i trade in my lousy 8250, i can deduct $100, and in the end, i pay $98. wahlao can u believe this kinda deal?! its too good to be true. i'm going down to hello shop later. wahlao! i need to pinch myself...

btw.. he's back. msged me at 1.30am last night... and i replied at 6.30am. duno wad i'm doing. haha!

does my blog look better?? found a nice skin... i still got to explore how to put in the username, links, date... and a lot more! wish someone could help me.. haha...
i watched love actually with guen today. beautiful show!! very very sweet and nice and makes u feel in love... not only romantic love, but makes u appreciate the beauty of family and friends too.. haha...
i think he's coming back today. today i kept looking at my hp to see if he'd msg me that he's back. i'm at it again. haha...
i'm trying to get my mind on maths. gotta do my holiday hw.. and hopefully revise some chem. need to buck up for next year liao... recently i've changed my ambition. wanna do finance and accounting in uni... wad has it got to do with teaching eh? haha...

I MISS MY BLOG!!!
sigh... so long never update liao... tried to log in last night but blogger was down, so i couldn't access it. mulu was fun!! exploring nature at your own time and pace. lovely...
1st day (fri 5dec): flew to mulu from miri in twin otters, a small 15 sitter plane without aircon, at about 1pm. reached half hour later, then the guide met us and drove us to royal mulu resort. we walked 3.4km to deer and lang cave. it drizzled a little. the cave interior was beautiful!! it was soooooooo magnificant.... u could really stand there in awe of all those limestone structures and look up at the height of the caves. 7.30pm back at resort.
2nd day (sat 6dec): took the longboat at 9am to wind and clearwater cave. walked up some steep height to reach the cave. the cave's even nicer than deer and lang. very grand, and there's a river flowing inside too. wind cave had breeze blowing out from inside. haha... then we went to dip in the cold water outside clearwater cave. very clear. *haha* .. i was only intending to wet my feet but i slipped and fell in.
3rd day (sun 7dec): breakfast then miri.

a bit about today... boring as usual. but my pa drove us to town, and we spent some time at the shopping centre. i bought a green tshirt and green jeans. haha... eh... then.... we ate green honeydew ice-cream.. so special.. if only i could bring it back for everyone to try, but it'd have melted by then. in the evening, we went to the beach for dinner, then built a fire to keep sandflies away, but i still got bitten. haha... now i'm back here rotting at my aunty's place. cant wait to go back tmr!! haha..

Ting:So many GREEN... (my sis wants a part in my diary.. haha)


you're haunting me in my dreams. i dont wanna think about you.

discover your inner candy heart @ quiz me

i'm at miri now... rotting at a relative's place. its soooo hot here... and full of mosquitoes too!! argh... hmm miri has got a new airport!! with aircon and nicely renovated. roads have also changed, and the area's developed now. haha... anyway i'm going to mulu national park tmr... to see deer cave and clearwater cave. i've seen the programme.. looks interesting. i have a feeling i'll be in those tour groups with the ah pehs and ah mas.
hmm i spent yesterday and today sitting in front of the tv, watching pck on tv3, reading legally blonde, and eating and eating and eating. my aunty loves to spoil us!! haha... the food here's nothing special. i'm still looking around for something to buy back to singapore. haha...
ooh i had the weirdest dream last nite. could be caused by everything that was happening recently. 1stly, i was in some grand hotel, and suddenly, yingfeng comes up to stage in a suit, and announces the pti for year 2004. it is lixing (?!!??!!) and everyone cheers. ok talk about weird... then i dreamt i was at the zoo.. and i saw zijian sitting with him at kfc. shortly, i got onto the monorail, and zijian comes running after me, and says he wants to talk to me, seeking my approval on him going out with this new gal. i was like... HUH?! ... haha...
ok my cousin's bugging me to let him use the com. shall update when i'm back from mulu!

i seem to have lost the feeling no matter how much i think about you.

my blog's in a mess! it looks horrible... i'm still waiting for sephine goh to help me decorate.. and that woman's obviously taking her own sweet time. haha... but i think she has to work la. anyway.. i'm leaving in 20mins.. for sarawak... hmm that place is DULL. there's only 1 shopping centre in the whole of miri, and hardly any cars, people get around in motorcycles. walk on the streets and risk stepping on cow dung or chicken shit.
i bought a black frilly top yesterday.. it looked so adorable hanging there, so i picked it up to try. actually i was just suppose to go tampines to borrow books and buy magazines but i dunno why my legs took me to tampines mall. my sister kept asking me to try on clothes.
and another thing... i'm having sore throat, flu, and last night when i took my temperature, it was 37.5!!! am i having sars?!?!! *haha*

i woke up at 6am today. yihang's going to army in 2 weeks, so he asked if i could go running with him to build up his stamina. we ran round the reservoir... i'm not sure the distance covered, but stopped at the hill top and walked to ntuc to buy newspapers. then i went home, bathed, and went for odac meeting. today's meeting was annoucing the new exco, nyaa stuff, and next year's activities. some revolution thingy which sounded interesting. hopefully it'd do good for cj.
i met jieru today... so long never see her liao. we walked around town, then spent some time sitting around in the shop melvina was working in. her boss wasn't around so we were allowed in. after that, we headed to bugis, looked around for my green canvas bag, her hair dye, and her jeans. she left at about 4.30pm, so i went back to town to meet the odac gals. walked to ps, looked at clothes.. and lijuan kept trying on shoes!! goodness... but it was fun looking around la. haha...
he msged me today. 'Hey... Me going away tonight.. Don call me for the next 10 days k.. When i'm back will msg you k.. Take care and god bless!' ... does he sound like i'm desperate and hard up for him? that i would call him and disturb him... dunno... well that's his tone when he talked to me. i merely asked him what time he was leaving, and he quickly said.. why?? dont send me off ya! sigh... shouldnt think too much. i didn't even bother to reply. sometimes thinking of him makes me feel shortchanged, like i'm being taken for granted, and i find no joy. though the memories do make me happy, yet sad. haha... dunno. i'm currently in a mixture of emotions. damn! anyway.. i was sitting on the bus, thinking of him leaving. made my heart kind of ache. well... hope he'd be fine and return safely....

discover what candy you are @ quiz me

i just came home...
after cell, we planned to go down to sentosa. but it was raining... anyhow, we still went. reached harbourfront and it was raining... so we went to eat before taking the bus.. when we reached, we took the island bus round and round sentosa, waiting for the bloody rain to stop. when it finally stopped, it was 6pm... and we went to siloso beach. i tried to be a smart alec and climbed some rock near the beach... and on my way down, i slipped on an algae patch and fell and hurt my back and elbows! and they were suaning me, odac de.. how can fall! goodness...
anyway we played some games in the dark... dog and bone and some lame balloon game to entertain ourselves and make our entry fee worthwhile. *HAHA*.. after that we spent about 1 hour contemplating whether to eat dinner together or go home... finally the conclusion was to go home. and because the queue for the bus to harbourfront was too long, we walked out, and i was limping due to the fall.
made it home in a piece! haha... i feel quite tired now. hmm thinking of going for a jog tmr cos i suddenly feel flabby! haha... see how. maybe yes maybe no. anyway i'm meeting yuerui to pick a hair dye tmr. shld be an eventful day.

i forgot my username so i couldnt log in yesterday. haha... hmm didn't do much yesterday... went out to meet some church friends. i looked around with jesslyn for hair dyes. she told me to buy strawberry blonde! goodness... i'm gonna get hell from michael tan. then we sat at the empty space where people do breakdancing outside esplanade to talk. i was feeling really lethargic... not sure why too. then didn't stay long, went back. rotted at home... watched tv from 7-11pm. haha.. these are the details of my boring life.
hmm he's leaving on mon. dunno how i'm feeling. gonna miss him i guess. haha... i wanna talk to him! but i cant contact him. arghhh
i need to decorate this blog desperately. haha... looks plain and boringggg... i wanna put an orange cat. =)
shall go bathe now. going for cell group in !!JURONG!!... haha... another long journey. oohh.. tmr going shida's home.. can eat good food again.. i'm gonna grow soooooooo fat.........

hmm... my 1st entry... started this blog under the influence of yuerui actually... *haha*. let me talk a bit about yesterday. we had long debrief on the expedition in school. it was really long la. 10-3.30pm if i'm not wrong. basically everyone shared their thoughts and thanked people. ivan teong got the criticisms he wanted... bottomline=he's self centered. everyone spoke their bit, then mr lim talked individually about us. he said may and i are not tough enough. which is true la. i'm terrified of leeches!! actually i wasn't really listening. i kinda knew wad was wrong with me liao. about not giving extras... poor footwork etc. haha... oh and he mentioned about some people not stretching enough like yuerui. which sets one thinking if one could have completed much more if only we were more confident. well, this is a good lesson i guess, we can always learn and be better in following expeditions. shida was the only one who cried during the debrief. i think she's one who views odac activities differently. not so much about the usual trainings or making friends, but somewhere she can develop her character.
alright enough of all these. after debrief most of us went to magic wok to eat the long-awaited thai balacan fried rice.......................arrrrrrrrrr........ haha then yingfeng went to cut his hair. looked quite good la. then the rest left, leaving yingfeng, may, yuerui and me behind. we walked down to heeren with the motive of looking for yingfeng's clothes, but ended up buying gummies and biscuits. we didn't spend much time in town, cos wanted to go home to watch holland v! ah ming was caught sleeping with some woman by jingjing. i sat at the tv til 10pm... then went to bed. think i shall end here. wanna get something to eat. gonna grow fat soon. *haha*